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 Posted: Wed May 08, 2024 11:11 am
“Michel?” Riker repeated curiously. A knight of Saturn, clearly. But another person that Evan knew. Maybe someone he’d already spoken about, but Riker didn’t want to just assume. Still, he chewed thoughtfully on a piece of bacon.
He could tell that Evan was worried. He could see it in his eyes. And the way he looked like he was holding back from asking more.
“Yeah, I can tell you about it sometime. Or you can visit with me. I mean, the next time I’m able to go and our schedules line up. I’d like to see your world, too. I bet it’s really pretty. I mean, since you’re pretty. I mean. Your outfit is pretty so… uh… I mean, they’re nice colors.” Cringe.
Still, it was nice that Evan was offering him a place to crash. And he certainly didn’t mind the idea of Maxim cuddling with him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it getting busy. He knew it was better for him to keep to himself, especially as Riker…
“I, uh… haven’t told many people who I am,” he shared, wondering if that would change how Evan felt about it. “Wouldn’t it be weird for me to just… come over and. I mean. I’m assuming everyone here knows about you, or is involved with… things.”
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Posted: Wed May 08, 2024 12:13 pm
Evan shrugged. “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to. It’s your secret. I can just tell them we met after a youma attacked the food truck. That’s how some of us here met, anyway. I mean, not the food truck specifically, but I got attacked by a Negaverse agent well before I was a Senshi. And if we go with that cover story, you can still know about all this magical stuff but not have to worry about slipping up and saying something that blows your cover. The fewer secrets you have to keep, the better.”
He trusted the people he lived with, of course. And he trusted Riker, too. He just didn’t have everyone’s approval or permission to share identities and Evan respected privacy.
“Do you really think my outfit is pretty?” he laughed. “I was self conscious when I first got it. Maybe I mentioned that before. I like dark colors. It’s kind of hard to stand out so much. When you’re going out at night, I bet it’s a relief to be able to blend in a bit, like with your outfit? I haven’t met a lot of Ganymede Knights, do they all look as cool as you?”
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Posted: Wed May 08, 2024 4:02 pm
Riker snorted quietly in amusement, but his ears were still burning. At least Evan didn’t take what he said poorly. He meant it! He just knew it was probably weird.
“Yeah, it’s very, uh… I don’t know. Regal? Elegant? Maybe I’m not using the right words. But the colors looked nice on you,” he mumbled, awkwardly poking at some of his food.
“I only know one other Ganymede knight and I think he looks really nice. I mean. He’s got this really neat hat with flowers, and ruffles all around his shorts and really long legs.” Oh, Evan was asking about the outfit, wasn’t he?
Riker cleared his throat a little.
“That General made a big deal about me wearing dark clothes,” he mumbled, but forced a shrug so it was obvious that he didn’t think it was a big deal. “Like… maybe it was a sign that I join them. Oh… no, I don’t want to. Not after everything you told me.”
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Posted: Wed May 08, 2024 7:09 pm
Oh, Riker. How many of your friends do you think about like that?
It was cute. Not that Evan had any intention of saying as much, but better Riker give his awkward compliments and words of flattery for his friends around Evan instead of them. Maybe by the time he told his friends he’d feel more comfortable about saying such things without getting himself all worked up.
“Thank you,” Evan said after a moment. “For reassuring me like that. I like you, I’d be really upset if the Negaverse stole you! I don’t get to make new friends a lot. And you’re really easy to be around. I appreciate that, because usually, you know, I’m a bundle of anxiety. But,” he shrugged. It wasn’t so bad right now. Things felt pretty easy, all things considered.
Even if tonight was a bit odd by every other standard, he didn’t feel uneasy about Riker being here.
“It’s just clothes, though. That’s like, the weakest argument he gave you for the whole thing. I mean, that’s like saying every Ganymede Knight is predisposed to Chaos? No way. If you could change your outfit at all, how would you want it to look?”
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Posted: Thu May 09, 2024 7:04 am
“I don’t want it to change,” he said easily, but knew he was probably making it sound like he was whining and complaining about his outfit for no reason. He sighed and shook his head, not really knowing how to explain it more than he already tried explaining before.
“I guess… I don’t know. I wish people would stop making a big deal about it. My appearance, I mean. Some people I don’t mind if they say they like what I’m wearing, or don’t, but when it’s people I don’t even know commenting about my dark clothes or the hat or the stripes…”
He knew it sounded like he was making a big deal over nothing. He knew people didn’t really understand why he felt so strongly about the comments.
“You know that whole analogy of the black sheep?” he asked after a moment, picking at the tab on the soda can. “Wow, this sounds really dramatic, but that’s been me my whole life. I mean. You’ve seen my brother. Blond, blue eyes. Same with my mom. Grandparents, aunts, uncles. My brother’s dad and grandparents and all his family are also blond, blue eyed. And then there’s me,” he gestured vaguely to himself.
“It’s hard to lie or cover up a secret when the evidence is so blatant. Sorry, I know I complained about all this before. It’s stupid, I know. It’s just… I’m comfortable with who I am and how I look. It’s everyone else who isn’t, or makes a big deal about it. And I’m so used to the negative comments that it’s hard to ignore. But... I'm glad we got to be friends. You're easy to be around, too. And I'm not just saying that because you make good food, promise!”
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Posted: Thu May 09, 2024 11:05 am
Evan nodded. Riker was good at drifting between simple and complex topics. He wondered how much Riker had been through that he did it so seamlessly. Did he do it on purpose or was it just second nature?
Maybe Riker was used to people not listening, so if things drifted into conversation unintentionally he thought he could just say enough words that it would drown out the rest. It wasn’t always easy to tell what Riker wanted to talk about and what might upset him, and Evan was careful about the topics that came and went too quickly to dwell on.
He filed them away to know but he didn’t have to force Riker to expand on them.
“It’s not stupid,” Evan said after a moment. He did that same thing, he said something was stupid so he could pretend like it didn’t matter, but it did matter. He just didn’t want anyone to know, like if they did they could tell him he was stupid, or wrong.
So he told Riker what he’d wanted to hear all the times he said it.
“That makes a lot of sense, I get where you’re coming from. It sounds really hard, Riker. And your brother’s such a d**k. Sorry. I was so mad at him. You’re definitely the better son, I’d pick you over him any day. I’m glad you’re comfortable with who you are and how you look, that’s really hard. I still don’t like who I see in the mirror some days. Do you want to learn how to make good food? Anyone can learn, I’m not that special. But people usually have fewer negative comments to say when their mouth is full of good food.” He shrugged, “But then, I hope you don’t waste time on people who make you feel like s**t. Hey, and if I’m ever making too big a deal out of something that’s bothering you or if say something that upsets you, I hope you’ll let me know. Sounds like you’ve got enough people making your life hard, I don’t want to be one of them.”
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Posted: Thu May 09, 2024 6:57 pm
“‘Better’ is subjective, I guess,” Riker mumbled, but sighed and shook his head. “Thanks, though. It’s nice to know that you’d pick me. I don’t think my family ever would. Well. Mom gets a nice check because of me, at least,” he shrugged and sipped some more from his drink.
“I’m comfortable because I know what to expect. But I don’t always like what I see, either. Ah… although I guess that’s not so much to do with appearance. I don’t like knowing people will look at me and have bad memories or feelings. It sucks… I shouldn’t have tried so hard to fit in. Maybe then, others wouldn’t have such bad thoughts about me. I want to apologize. When I get the chance I will. I just don’t know if they’d believe me.”
He glanced up at Evan then and frowned as he looked at him. He didn’t know how to help make him feel better about himself, but he knew he would be much worse off without Evan in his life.
“I think you’re special. You’re patient and-- well, I mean, you worry a lot, but that’s okay. It makes me feel bad, but it’s kind of cute. I’ll tell you if there’s something that bothers me or upsets me. It’s easy to talk to you so, uh, sorry if I end up oversharing.”
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Posted: Thu May 09, 2024 10:32 pm
Evan was quiet for a long moment, like he wasn’t sure what emotion was going to bubble to the surface first. In the end, he smiled. Almost laughed.
“I am trying so hard not to overshare. So if we both slip up, let’s just call it water under the bridge, okay? And anyway, I don’t mind listening. I might not always have something useful to say but I can sit here and nod if you need to get something off your chest.”
He didn’t think it was stupid if Riker ever wanted to talk. When he was Riker’s age, he’d wanted so badly for someone to just listen. To tell him he was important, to make him feel like he was supposed to be here.
In a lot of ways, he was just trying to be what he needed. He didn’t know if it was what Riker needed. He was just guessing, hoping, it was something, at least.
“Thank you for saying nice things. I’m kind of a glutton for compliments. It’s why I cook so much.” He flashed a grin because he was just teasing, even if it was true. “But, you know. I appreciate it. And I know that as soon as your friends get to see this side of you, well–I can’t imagine that they’ll be mad. Especially if you’re honest with them. Saying sorry goes a long way. Everybody’s got regrets. But I think they’ll believe you. And if you ever need to practice what you’re going to say, you know where to find me.”
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Posted: Mon May 13, 2024 5:44 am
It was nice to know he could talk to Evan. And he felt comfortable talking to Evan. He was worried when he told him about the Negaverse thing that he would freak out. Well, he kind of did. But Riker was glad he said something so he could get some more understanding about it all.
He still had to figure out what to do if he ever ran into Zinkenite again. Maybe he could just avoid him forever. Surely, that would be the best option.
But he knew he wanted to talk to his friends about it. He didn’t want them to hear from the Negaverse that they’d talked to him or… something crazy like that.
“Well, you deserve the compliments,” Riker insisted, flashing Evan a small smile in return. “Thanks, Evan. Don’t be surprised when I take you up on that offer.”
He didn’t know if some of his friends would ever forgive him, but he wanted to try. And he wanted to be honest with them. He just knew he had to do his best, and if that didn’t work… he would just figure something else out. But for now he was grateful that Evan gave him shelter and food for the night when going home wasn’t an option.
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