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 Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 2:16 pm
Devyn knew Percy didn’t mean it. He knew he was probably just overflowing with emotions. From more than just today, this was probably weeks, months, of buildup. Devyn didn’t tell him to get ahold of himself or reprimand him. He knew what it felt like to have unbearable expectations wearing you down. Day after day after day.
He’d love Percy whether he was a Knight or not but he suspected that when he’d had some time to calm down and reflect he wouldn’t feel the same way as he said he did now. This was probably just a lot of frustration bubbling over, and Devyn couldn’t blame him. He couldn’t give up being a Senshi, he couldn’t dream of abandoning his world. But, he’d have still liked to have some time to be normal, too.
Percy needed to get it out. Devyn expected tears but this was fine, too. He’d hit things and shouted into the forest and ran until he collapsed when he was overwhelmed. When he was younger, he’d tried to run away. Too much was riding on his shoulders right now to give up or abandon his duties.
Devyn gathered Percy into his arms and held him tightly. He sat against the edge of the Spring so he could rest against it. He knew Percy had a lot he’d need to process about today but he wanted him to have a safe space to work out these emotions.
“Tell me what you do want to do,” he murmured, close to Percy’s ear. “Take a break from all these horrible things you’ve had to think of while I wasn’t here with you. Tell me what things you miss, what things make you happy. I want to dream of them too.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 2:24 pm
In Devyn’s arms, Percy held onto him as tightly as his shaky hands could manage. He was still exhausted and in pain, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was Devyn and being there with him. How long had it been since they last saw each other? At least a week. They wrote letters to each other, but it was never enough.
“I want to lay under the stars with you. I want to watch fireflies across the river while the sun sets. I want to curl up with you in front of a fire while it snows outside. I want to work in the garden with you. I want to paint your portrait -- our portrait,” Percy sobbed, although his voice had quieted with fatigue.
“I want to go to festivals with you and dance. I want to put the pretty things they sell in our hair. I want to play those silly games they have, and try every food stall. I want to cheer for you when you have your matches, and tell everyone how my husband is the strongest fighter in all the worlds. I want to travel with you and explore. I want to help you fix things and rebuild and come up with better plans for the flooding and the orbiting asteroids.”
Some of this they’d done before, but that didn’t mean Percy wouldn’t want to do it again. Anything with Devyn he wanted.
“I want a family with you. A dozen children, at least. I want to grow old with you and when we leave this life it’ll be in each other’s arms, and then find each other in the next.”
His voice continued to get softer, but he still sobbed against Devyn. He was just so tired, and he knew he was asking for so much. He knew it wasn’t fair to Devyn, knowing how hard he worked. But he just missed him so much, all the time.
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 2:45 pm
The fatigue was welcome, though Devyn didn’t want to admit it. It meant whatever fire that was burning in Percy was fading. It meant the emotions could only burn for so long. It wasn’t that Devyn minded them, it was that he knew Percy was already under so much strain and he didn’t want him to suffocate under a new wave of emotions.
He nodded as he listened. He wanted to pepper his face and hair with kisses but he didn’t want Percy to think that he wasn’t listening and taking him seriously. This wasn’t just trying to humor him. Devyn didn’t want to placate him, he wanted to fix things.
Right now, he was exhausted. Practically falling apart. He felt the weight of two worlds on his shoulder and his body was protesting vehemently. He’d hurt himself, he knew it. Getting out of the water seemed an impossible task so he wasn’t sure how he was going to muster up the strength to act like he had any energy left in him. And they still needed to meet up with Serge later.
“You can paint a picture as beautifully with your words as you can your brush.” His lips brushed against Percy’s cheek lightly. They’d talked about a family. Devyn wanted a big family, he just also wanted to have the time to dedicate to them. It would have been cruel to bring in small children expecting loving parents when he had to be gone for so long.
“I want all of those things, too.”
They were still young. They’d barely scratched the surface of a life together. Percy spoke like they’d already lost so much time, and maybe they had. Devyn was already pushing the boundaries of life expectancy for the Senshi of this world.
“And more.” The list was endless. He wanted to do anything, everything, with Percy. Just because they were apart didn’t mean he ever stopped thinking about all of the new experiences he wanted to have with his husband. They didn’t even have to be new, they could be the same experiences, as long as they both enjoyed them.
“There’s a lot for us to do between now and when we grow old, Perce. We’ll have to do some of those things, soon. I don’t feel like I’ve stopped moving in so long. I’m so tired,” he admitted, but he didn’t dwell on the thought. He’d be honest with Percy, when he figured out what he felt and what he needed. Right now, things were too blurry and muddled.
He knew he needed Percy but he couldn’t think about anything more beyond that.
“But I’ll be with you for all of this life, and the next, and every one after. You know that, I’ll always find my way back to you.” Another kiss, another promise. He meant every one.
“Lucien’s back, maybe he can help us. He wasn’t here when we were first making plans, and he’s clever. He could give us some fresh ideas. He’s already showed up with new technology, that’s partly how I got back so fast. I’ll tell him I’m in over my head. He’ll help.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:06 pm
Having some extra help to figure things out -- someone with a different perspective -- would likely be a huge help. It was a tiny bit of relief as Percy sobbed quietly now against his husband.
He wanted to know about the new technology, and he wanted to know how much time Devyn had taken to get to Sessrumnir. Surely it should have been impossible. Well… no… Percy knew that nothing was impossible for Devyn when he wanted something badly enough.
So he probably really did expect to get things fixed and they could have a life together again.
They had a lot of time, in theory. But days like that day were even more proof that they needed to live every day to its fullest. Something could happen to either of them, and then what?
Percy didn’t want to think about it. He doubted he would be able to live without Devyn by his side. It was so hard already.
“I hate that I’m always crying when we see each other,” Percy finally whined, burying his face against his hand as he hid further against Devyn’s shoulder. “I just want to enjoy every moment with you, but all you get is a gross mess.”
He was so, so tired. And in so much pain. The Spring wasn’t doing anything to heal him, and he suspected it was because he used too much energy. He hoped it was just him, and not the Spring itself. He didn’t want that student to die after putting everything he had into saving him.
“Everything hurts, Dev,” he finally sobbed, but he knew he wasn’t the only one. “I know you’re hurting too. I can feel it,” he admitted. The necklace might not reveal everything, but Percy knew Devyn’s heart well enough to know when he was in pain and suffering.
“I’m sorry. I love you. I just really, really need you. But I know your world needs you too.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2024 4:12 pm
The spring soothed Devyn, though he seemed to recognize that it felt more like soaking in a warm bath than it did being blessed with magical healing properties. Devyn didn’t try to stop Percy from crying. It would be good for him to let it out.
He’d make himself sick if he tried to stomach it all, and if the springs weren’t helping…
Then maybe the best thing Percy could do was cry himself into exhaustion. Devyn could make sure he got patched up, and they could go to bed.
Well–maybe after they talked to Serge. He’d have to check in with his Council, and Percy’s. And–
No, he’d figure it out later. For right now, Percy was his focus.
“I’d rather you cry with me than cry alone. Don’t mind them. You’ve been strong for a long time, it’s safe to let it out.” It never even crossed his mind that Percy could be a gross mess, and he came very close to laughing at the thought. If Percy wasn’t so miserable, he might have. “I’m glad for every moment I have with you. Tears or no tears. You have nothing to apologize for.”
Percy was intuitive. Even if he hadn’t had the necklace, he was pretty sure Percy would have picked up on the fact that he hurt, too. He just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. He was too glad, too relieved, to have Percy here–alive–to worry about some aches and pains.
“I love you, Perce. This will pass. I’ve got some medicine you can take to ease the pain a bit. If you don’t think you’ve got any life threatening injuries, we can take it easy. I still want you to get a check up. I’ll get one too,” he promised. “And after we’re patched up, I’ll hold you for as long as I can. I need you, too. Alastor can wait a bit.”
Which might have been hard for him to say but he was tired--and tired of pretending like he had all the energy in the world. Tired of pushing through everything, tired of working nonstop. He wanted to be selfish.
He deserved to be selfish.
After what happened to Percy–after everything that had happened at Villefort–
They worked so hard. And this was what they got in return? Percy, as sweet and perfect and caring as he was, and this was how the universe repaid him?
When he was less tired, he’d be more angry.
For now, he was at least comforted by the fact that he could hold Percy, and kiss atop his head, and tell him he loved him and dream of their future.
Things couldn’t keep happening like this. Something had to change.
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