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 Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 9:51 am
Casey had laughed at the idea of Morgan bundling them up in blankets to make sure they’d stay warm. The idea of them squeezing in this bed was even more enjoyable, if only because they were his two favorite people, so of course he wanted to be with them. His face was warm, probably about as red as Ariel’s looked, but he was at least able to hide his flushed cheeks behind Harrison’s enthusiastic tail.
The decorations were beautiful, of course, but Casey thought they were only perfect because of the effort Ariel and Morgan put into them. And Harrison too! He could probably look at them for hours, but he would be happier to look at Ariel and Morgan for hours longer.
While Ariel only told him bits and pieces of what happened before they met, everything he’d said still rested heavily on Casey. About how Ariel thought he was unlucky, how he’d let himself be molded into someone for the sake of ‘love’ that wasn’t ever love -- just ownership. He’d been hurt. Badly. And he’d tried to escape. This was his escape. And Ariel had thought about running again…
And Casey would run with him. If that was what it took to not lose him, Casey would leave everything (except Harrison) behind. It wasn’t as though he had anything worth staying around for, other than those in his apartment right then. Maybe they could convince Morgan to come with them.
But hearing those possibly unintentional words tumble from Ariel’s mouth-- Ariel, who was so guarded and careful-- Casey couldn’t have just ignored him or brushed it off as a simple comment if he’d tried.
Carefully, so as not to startle Harrison into knocking everything over, Casey pushed himself back up so he could rest against the side of the couch. He tipped his head back to look up at Ariel, his hand reaching across the front of his legs to rest his hand on his feet.
“I feel the same way. It’s nice to have a home to come back to,” he agreed, trying not to let his voice fill with emotion. He didn’t want to draw attention to Ariel if he didn’t want it. What he hoped came through in his voice though, was that it was nice to come home to Ariel. It was nice to see Morgan. And Harrison. He felt accepted and liked with them.
“I told you, you should just move in!” he followed up with a gentle tease, tipping his head once more to rest against Ariel’s leg.
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 12:18 pm
Ariel raised a hand to half hide behind, and he made a poor effort at covering his face by rubbing at his eyes. Before he could start kicking himself, before he could start judging and regretting his words, Casey was there to chase away the temptation. Ariel spread his fingers just slightly and looked down between them.
He could see Casey as well as he could hear the emotion in his voice and was once more struck with reassurance. There were too many sudden emotions to sort through so Ariel didn’t bother; he just knew that all of this meant a lot to him.
“I didn’t say no,” he answered gently. Maybe, to most, it would have still seemed like a rejection, but Casey knew more about him than Ariel had shared with most–no matter how many secrets he still kept. Ariel hadn’t started with a ‘no’. He hadn’t immediately declined, hadn’t made some hasty excuse to brush off the idea. Wasn’t planning another escape route.
It was something to think about, something to seriously consider. If they stayed together, they could save money. They could get out of town faster. They could split resources, could split chores, spend more time together…
But if something went wrong, if Casey got caught in the crossfire…
He lowered his hand and gently brushed his fingers through Casey’s hair.
“It would make visiting you easier,” Morgan mused, filling their plates with food. They’d done this enough that he’d memorized who liked what, and if they didn’t have food on their plates he thought both of them would find a way to take less than they wanted. It didn’t matter if they lived next door to each other already, or if Ariel already had a key to Casey’s apartment. He just thought it would be better for them. They were doing their best on their own, but he could see how worn thin they were–and how much being around one another seemed to fill a void neither of them acknowledged. At least, in front of him.
From where he sat now he had a full view of the tender displays between the two, but they were either so used to the exchanges that they didn’t notice or they were both very good at being oblivious. He wouldn’t have been surprised to find it a mix of both.
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 12:31 pm
Casey did know more about Ariel than he had likely shared with most. It wasn’t exactly anything to brag about, given the circumstances that made Ariel want to hide away from the world in the first place. But it was something Casey cherished. He wouldn’t sing from the rooftops how he knew more about Ariel, but instead hold it close to his heart, like a precious flame that was fighting against a wind that wanted it snuffed out.
There wasn’t anything Casey could imagine not wanting to do for Ariel. He was quickly feeling the same way about Morgan, although they’d both known him for a shorter amount of time. It didn’t matter, because Morgan had easily found a way into their hearts. Casey saw the way Ariel and Morgan looked at each other, after all.
But…
He wanted to protect that. He wanted to make sure both Ariel and Morgan were happy and safe and cared for. He knew it was silly, so he didn’t dare say it out loud, but something inside him always felt warm and at peace around them. Even with his own insecurities.
“No you didn’t,” he agreed just as gently, leaning into the fingers that brushed through his hair. He laughed lightly at Morgan’s comment and graciously took the plate of food as it was handed to him.
“Okay, but… we should watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas, first,” he suggested with a grin over his shoulder up at both Morgan and Ariel, and then laughed as he had to squish Harrison’s face under his arm so she wouldn’t get to his plate.
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 12:43 pm
“Which one?” Ariel asked but quickly corrected, “I have both of them on the list. Oh, I should have gotten that set up before we sat down.”
Now, he had a plate of Chinese food in his lap and he didn’t want to move Casey.
“It’s okay. I’m glad to have a few minutes to talk with you two first, anyway. Both of you should eat before it gets cold.” They were working too hard to skimp out on their nutrients, and though they seemed to have big plans for tonight, Morgan really doubted either of them would be up for too long after the sun went down.
Morgan took a bite of his food to prove he wasn’t a hypocrite, but as soon as he’d swallowed he said, “Besides, I want to have some cookies. And there’s still a box of ornaments that have to go on the tree.”
“It’s not finished?” Ariel glanced over. “I thought I got them all.”
“No, but you did a good job. You’re supposed to decorate the tree with your family. I thought Casey might like to help, too.”
Ariel paused for a moment, and despite his best efforts another smile crossed his face. He wanted to think of Casey as family. He didn’t really have any of his own. Morgan didn’t either, but he had never been intrusive–and even now, he wasn’t imposing. It wasn’t an uncomfortable suggestion. It was thoughtful, and Ariel found himself feeling rather tickled.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at Casey. He tried not to be too obvious about sneaking a peek at Casey’s expression, but for all the effort he put into trying not to get too attached, he couldn’t help it.
Ariel didn’t even realize that he was holding his breath.
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 12:47 pm
You’re supposed to decorate the tree with your family. I thought Casey might like to help, too.
Maybe it was because his emotions were already all over the place, or maybe because it was the holiday season and emotions were high already. Or maybe because having a family was something Casey really, really wanted.
But tears sprung to his eyes the moment the words processed, and just as when he’d entered his apartment not too long ago, Casey hid his face behind his hand and did his best to stifle a sob.
He was crying over decorating and he knew it was embarrassing and ridiculous. Thankfully, he knew his friends wouldn’t think poorly of him for it. He knew that. He was comforted by it, even if it was still embarrassing!
No… not just friends.
Morgan had a box of ornaments saved for them to finish the tree together. Because you’re supposed to decorate the tree with your family.
“O-oh, Harrison, no,” he sniffled and scrubbed at his face before pushing Harrison’s open mouth away from his plate. He set it on the coffee table and caught her in a gentle headlock to keep her from going after it while he mopped himself up.
“I would very much like to help, yeah,” he managed to say around choked words, although he still felt too ridiculous to look up at either of them. “Oh, and the animated one first, of course.”
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 12:56 pm
“Of course,” Ariel said, but it was more panicked than anything else. He pulled Casey back to him gently. He rubbed his shoulder briefly, but immediately went back to stroking his hair. It was something that had always brought him comfort, and now he just wanted to do whatever he could since he felt in part responsible for the tears.
Even if they didn’t seem bad.
Morgan must have recognized his own role in them and stretched across the table to pull the plate away from the edge. He didn’t blame Harrison for being tempted; it was delicious. She’d have her fill later, but she had far less restraint than Casey and he suspected only one of them was actually capable of fully cleaning a plate.
Food secured, Morgan then pushed the napkins closer. They weren’t perfect, but there were no tissues and neither he nor Ariel had anything so fancy as a handkerchief to offer. Ariel saw, and in an effort to help he reached out to grab a few for Casey. His food was forgotten for the moment; Casey was his priority. Of course there was no judgment over tears. He knew how hard things had been for Casey. He knew how much he hated his job, how overworked he’d been, how cruel his coworkers were.
He knew how Casey must be feeling now. Ariel didn’t cry, but it had been a long time since he had the comforts of family. He knew it was the same for Casey. Morgan had put into words something he’d felt but not said, and now that there was a label for it–
Ariel wanted to cry, too. Good things felt so hard to come by. He’d spent so long hiding himself away and wishing for things to be better that when something good came along he was afraid it was too good to be true.
And yet, this was real. Casey and Morgan–and Harrison–had been constants in his life. They were rocks to keep him grounded, but they lifted his spirits and gave him hope.
“Harrison, come over here,” Morgan said, and pulled a piece of chicken off his plate to tempt her away. Casey wasn’t going to be able to dry his face with her nearby; she was just as likely to try and lick away the tears as he tried to mop them up. “Come sit with me for a minute.”
“And you come sit up here with me, let me put my arm around you,” Ariel insisted, moving his plate to the side just slightly so he could help Casey up.
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 1:00 pm
Casey laughed through the tears as he pushed himself up, following Ariel’s direction to sit with him on the couch. He easily turned towards him so he could put an arm across him and press his face against his shoulder.
“Wow, sorry, this is so silly. I don’t know what came over me,” he insisted and laughed again because that was the easiest thing to do to make up for being ridiculous.
Oh, but he did reach over to grab the napkins with a smile and thanks for Morgan, as well as for him keeping Harrison distracted, and tried to mop up his face without getting Ariel all wet.
“I think I’m just tired,” he sniffled, which was definitely an excuse he’d used before but--
No… that wasn’t right. And he didn’t want Morgan or Ariel to get the wrong impression.
He made sure he wasn’t at risk of dripping all over Ariel still when he finally looked up. First at him, and then over to Morgan and Harrison. His lip trembled as he tried to keep a smile on his face, so soon gave up and drew in a steadying breath.
“I would very much like that,” he partially repeated, and then clarified. “Being able to call you both family. Mine, ah… I mean, I’m sure I’ve said it before but. Well, I haven’t felt like I belonged anywhere until I met and got to know you, Ariel.”
He glanced back up at Ariel, this time offering him a smile now that he wasn’t at risk of bursting into tears. For the moment.
“And then we met you, Morgan. And you’ve been… okay don’t laugh, but kind of like a guardian angel. And, I mean… there were other things I could probably say but I might start crying again.”
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 1:30 pm
Ariel opened himself up to Casey and coiled his arm around his shoulders to pull him close. If Casey wanted to hide his face, he had plenty of room to do so. Or to just relax against him. Ariel just wanted to hold him so he could reassure him for a moment. And, maybe, reassure himself too.
His heart skipped a beat but that was hardly unnatural where Casey was involved. It wasn’t out of fear or worry, only fondness.
Ariel wanted to tell him that it wasn’t silly; he knew how emotions could just well up and spill over. Just because he had experience shoving his emotions down didn’t mean he wanted that for Casey. Even if it was just because he was tired, it was still okay.
He returned Casey’s smile with a sad understanding.
Morgan glanced up; he’d held out another small piece of chicken for Harrison and was scratching the base of her tail to keep her busy. “I won’t laugh,” he promised. He’d heard such praises before, but the circumstances were always different. Rushing into fire or other danger generally garnered some appreciation but he didn’t do it for the praise. He did it because it felt like the right thing to do. It’s what he wanted to do.
And this was no different.
Maybe it wasn’t life or death all the time, maybe it was just picking someone up from work or dog sitting, or decorating for Christmas, but he was right where he wanted to be, doing what he wanted to do. “I don’t mind if you have to cry sometimes. But don’t say more than you want to.” Casey–and Ariel–didn’t owe him any words. He was there to listen when they wanted to talk but he didn’t expect or demand more from them than what they wanted. “I’m glad to be here. I feel like I was in the right place at the right time.”
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2024 2:48 pm
“I guess I shouldn’t say I’m lucky that I never kept my door locked?” he winced with a small grin as he glanced up at Ariel once more. He gave him a squeeze in apology and managed to sit himself up some so he wasn’t completely in Ariel’s space.
“I’m being more careful,” he promised, and he hoped that Ariel had noticed he was being more careful as well! It helped when he had two people reminding him when he got caught up in daydreams or thinking about something else. He didn’t leave his door unlocked nearly as often any more, and usually if he did leave it unlocked, he made sure to check every time he walked by it.
He was grateful to both of them, though. They were so patient with him and understanding. He wasn’t sure how he ended up with such wonderful people for his non traditional family.
“Thank you,” Casey smiled, sniffling just a little more but it was okay because he was mostly mopped up by that point. “And merry Christmas.”
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