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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2023 5:13 am
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"Why no?" He questioned, wanting to know what the others reason was. To say no so many times, to ignore the problem, there had to be a good reason right? "If it's because of your scars than we'll find someone who won't ask questions. Your breathing is more imrpotant and you know it." The other had backed himsef against the wall, into the corner, of the shower stall and Liam didn't like that. He wasn't trying to upset the other, even though he clearly was, but he was trying to take care of him.
Shaking his wet hair from his face, drips and drops of water falling into his eyes, Liam reached out for the other and cupped his face gently. "You know this is for your own health Aloysius. I wouldn't push if it wasn't. But I want to know if it's something serious or something we can easily handle. I'm not risking loosing you, especially by something sudden and unexpected." Pleading as he hoped the other would understand, that he wouldn't need to exaplin things too far for the other. It was something he wasn't sure he could approach, it wasn't easy, it was a whole lot things he hadn't really touched on but was just starting to really understand about himself. But it wasn't something surprising either.
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:39 am
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There wasn't anywhere to go even as he tried to squish himself further into the corner with his feet, trying to get away from the question. He felt more and more panicked about it, shrinking down towards the floor until Liam's hand touched his face. They weren't going to run away, even if he wanted to run from the problem.
Sighing, he pulled a hand up to hold theirs to his face more. It helped,even if he wanted to keep squirming away from things. "I... would rather not know, not find out, everything that might be wrong. I have to be fine, have to keep doing what I am doing, the alternative just cannot exist. Scars aside, I am afraid to trust any doctor. I do not want anyone to know that something is wrong, I just have to be fine...." Until I'm not... But that thought wasn't something he wanted to think about either.
Out of sight out of mind, he'd manage just like he always had without pulling more people in. But he'd pulled Liam in already and now they were trying to do the same thing he was, trying not to lose someone. They knew he was all messed up from everything but he still wanted to keep new problems under wraps, things were getting better now. He couldn't have more problems throwing a wrench in things. "I cannot let anyone else know that something might be wrong. How can I keep my position if they know that I am not as strong as I put on? I already feel as if I stand on shaky ground with my lack of viciousness when it comes to fighting. I need to bring more people in to offset things, then maybe..." He had to build the other side of the scale up so if something happened it would balance out and he'd be ok. Whatever he could manage to keep laying low and working on his projects and helping Benitoite where he could. As long as he could keep on their good side, that would offer him a level of safety. Adding in the fact he was working for them as a civilian helped even more but he was still constantly cautious of what he said in front of them.
Gears turned as he looked at them, trying to find a way both things could work out. "Someone not aligned exactly... but also discreet... maybe then.." He wondered if everything he'd done for the Evans family would buy him the secrecy he worried about, there were enough of them that maybe one was a doctor.
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2023 3:09 pm
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"I know what you'd rather not, I don't understand why though." He said shaking his head, he worried for the other. How could Aloysius not see that? Not see that he needed a little help and a doctor could provide that. "You don't have to be fine - no one is fine. All you might need is something like an inhaler, something simple, but you won't ever know unless you find out. We need to know so you can take care of it, before something simple could become something worse." It was best to catch somethign before it got worse. He was used to that in the orphanage. They made sure everyone was well and healthy because they couldn't afford to let something get out of hand, it would get worse and get others sick, it was never a good idea to let one child sit on a sickness till it became a real issue. It cost them all more.
"A doctor can't say anything though, no one will know but you and the doctor. I'll only know if you want me to. It can be as private as you need it to be. But you need to know at least so you and a doctor can handle it." He needed the other to see a doctor but they were worried about how everything needed to be fine? It might be if they saw a doctor but right now they clearly weren't. Liam didn't understand why he was worried about things being kept private because even Liam knew they were private - thigns couldn't be spoken about by the doctor not even to Melody.
At last! The other seemed to be giving slowly, even if it was a bit, it was something he could work with. "That we can do...we can find someone like that." He would make sure of it.
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2023 4:48 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2023 6:07 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2023 8:52 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2023 9:04 pm
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"I'm not going to get hurt, I'm stronger than you seem to think. Remember, I grew up without a lot. I grew up where nothing was mine exclusivly aside from my name, and only part of it." Because a few others had the same last name, Blackwood, for the place they were all living and growing up. Others had been adopted and dropped the last name but he hadn't. He'd not been adopted and he'd never dropped the last name. He'd embraced his past and where, and what, he'd come from.
"No thinking about others with this. I want you to think of your own health because you matter. I also need you. Ii've had so little in the world that I can't lose you - I won't let you vanish on me. Too many things I never had or lost. I'm not letting you go." Holding the other to himself, running his hand along their back, he sighed softly.
"I finally have someone in my life, and I have someone who loves me, and I can't lose you. I can't let you be taken away without trying to fight it." To find out what was wrong and work against it, to protect him from it. "Let me be the strong one here and trust in me." That said he went to grab the soap and wash cloth so he could get the other cleaned up, as well as himself.
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