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Sleet Tempest Snape rolled 1 10-sided dice:
5
Total: 5 (1-10)
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 Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2023 7:49 pm
"I have a lot to learn and I know it. I've been a student so many years, as most people are, that I can't imagine someone not admitting to having nothing to learn when in a new enviornment. It seems...impossible." Not to mention in this whole war it seemed like there should always be something to learn, even if it was just learning about a new person who turned up in the city. She especially needed to learn - a lot. She knew it and wouldn't shy from the truth. She might not go announcing it or telling people she didn't know...but she also wasn't going to deny it or hide it either.
"I think I'd like that...to focus on things other than killing for now." Because that was something she still wasn't up for accepting, unless it had to be done, it went against how she'd been raised as well as her own job in a sense. It went against what nearly her whole family believed and their jobs as well.
Had she? Thinking back she honestly couldn't remem,ber. She didn't do much more than gather energy so she didn't think so but maybe there had been a reason at some point? Something which had pushed her to grab one. "I don't believe I remember such ever happening." And since it did seem he wanted her to strike at him again she did just that. Aiming for the side, down around the waist, she was hoping he wouldn't have time to block her.
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MoonKitsune generated a random number between
1 and 15 ...
7!
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2023 5:03 pm
"Then we will hold off - for now." And that was stated that at some point, she would learn that lesson. For now, they could start with the foundations and work up till they reached that point.
The punch was almost a success if he hadn't been more on high alert for it coming, and he blocked it again, but this time he raised a hand to tell her to stop a moment.
"Take a breather. You're doing well." He said, and then turned to make sure he was fully facing her.
"Touching a starseed, it's invasive and can drain you. It's the core of your being and existence. You might not be ready to take one, but you should know the mechanics when the time comes. So - I want you to try it with me."
And to this he gently sat down to ensure he wouldn't get weak kneed during the process and patted the ground before him for Val to take.
"Just touch it. I don't want you to grip it and rip it out of course. Then again, if you did that, you could always put it right back in and I might come back. Sometimes the trauma of taking it is too much." It was in a way, a extreme trust exercise on his part.
"It's a simple process. You envision wanting to take the starseed and your hand should simply slide into my chest as if there was no matter there at all. It's a short distance to reach in and feel the hard stone. It buzzes a bit, cause of the energy. I imagine mine might be a bit different to another officer or senshi now, but in the end it's still the same." He placed a hand tenderly on his own chest as he thought about it before dropping it and waiting for the action.
Then, reaching into his subspace, he fished out a starseed he kept on reserve and set it on the ground before him. "This is just a civilian one. Don't worry. They were doing something awful when I took it. Not a person that was doing any good in this world." He informed them. "They look like that. You can eat them as a emergency reserve of energy, but never more than once in a while. They can be addicting and as a energy source, your own starseed can't handle too much before it twist, distorts, and you can become a youma."
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2023 8:40 am
She did stop when he raised his hand, taking the time to watch him carefully. He was taking into account what she said, her feelings, and would put off starseed grabbing for now. She knew it would have to happen, it would be unavoidable, but for now she could work herself up to it and get better at everything else she needed. The consideration was noted by her, and had her smiling.
That smile didn't last too long with what he said next. Wolframite wanted her to touch his starseed. That was...a lot.
Sitting down, not just because he asked her to, her knees felt a bit weak and she wasn't entierly certain they'd continue to hold her weight. Seated at his side she really wasn't sure he should be asking such but the amount of trust it took. He'd already let her swing at him, several times, and use her magic on him as well. So really...why not this? She couldn't help but silently ask herself this. It was to help her, she knew that, but to offer himself up. How many did that?
"So then they can be like a drug...but with some benefits." Because most drugs didn't have a benefit at all, at least not in her opinion. "But the downside is just as bad, perhaps worse, because I'm not sure I'd consider being an addict worse or on par with becoming a youma...which you're saying can happen." Though she did, for a moment, wonder just what sort of extreme addiction to starseeds that would take. It seemed like a very bad habit would be needed for that sort of result, it was nothing she wanted to find out about though. Someone that bad, with that sort of addiction, might not even care if a starseed came from one of their own.
Shak ing that terrible thoguht from her head she slowly pressed her hand to his chest. "If it hurts I am sorry...." She didn't want to hurt him, not when he was helping her so much, but she was certain this had to hurt to some degree. Though watching her hand pass through clothing and flesh was a very strange thing indeed, it even had her staring with widened eyes. She hadn't really thoguht of or watched such a thing. But it looked so strange and unbelievable.
She did want to make this quick though, and as painless as possible, so she did let her hand seek out what she needed to find. It wasn't hard, like he said, it certainly stood out in how it felt and the texture was unexpected but not terribly bad. "I wonder why we can't touch organs and such but we can touch this....or could we?"
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2023 7:24 pm
The fur on Wolframite's body rose on end as the starseed was touched. A strange sensation to only have it grazed than fully grabbed, which made his whole body shiver and tense. It wasn't painful but it was reaching into a place no normal human should ever be allowed to touch. The starseed itself wasn't normal to humans, already jagged and corrupted past that of normal officers and gave off a hum of corrupt energy, vibrating under the touch.
"It's like anything. Good for a energy. A push of energy and endurance you need to fight enough to get away or claim victory." He breathed out, face flushed as he stared down at the crease of her elbow of the arm going into his body.
"You don't get addicted unless you eat a lot over and over. It takes a lot to get to that point." He said, taking a deep breath. He could feel a cold sweat start all over his body. "Doesn't hurt. Would hurt if you grabbed it. Squeezed it."
"Can't touch organs. This part of us - the starseed - is in a place....place beyond organs. If you want organs..." He gave a feral smile as his focus wavered. "...you can rip those out easy." And he gave a little chuckle at that.
"....those are fun. ...to rip out."
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2023 7:35 pm
Withdrawing her hand, having felt what the others starseed was like, she did wonder how much his differed from her own, she nodded slowly. "So it's a sort of magic, where a starseed is, like subspace? Something which can't be reached unless with magic...a place that to others isn't even real or known of. Yet for us that is real but the very real organs aren't..as real in a magical sense?" They were real, of course, but she couldn't use magic to grip them but rather had to use the normal means to reach them. "Like exsisting on a different plane." It all seemed a bit bey ond her but the words passed her lips in a soft mumer of thought.
It was hard to put it all into words as nicely as she wished, because it was a hard topic to touch on, but she felt like he would understand what she was saying at least to some degree.
"I would hope people, knowing that they can become an addiction, would keep away from that but I'm sure like any addictive drug there are people who will lean into it. At least here there isn't some black market for starseeds for addicts to buy." Though if that were a thing, which she sincerely hoped it wasn't, it would be a rather interesting market and one she doubted happened in this city where it seemed there was still a need for them where they could serve some bigger purpose. Perhaps where the fighting had stopped those who had fought, those who had perhaps gained an addiction to them, did purchse them or go out and yank them to feed that need. What a scary thought that was.
As much as his last words had her feeling something, something which went against her own nature, she nodded slowly. It was something which fit him but not her...she still valued life too much and didn't think something like that could ever appeal to her. But if she needed to take a starseed in order to live she needed to be able to, she needed to not let it shock her when it happened, she'd been lucky for so long and that had been mostly on purpose. She didn't get in such situations because she didn't do alot. But if she was going to do more...she would wind up in that spot in time - she knew it.
"If I have to...i think I can tkake a starseed. I don't think I could ever rip a person apart...I'll leave that to you and others who can. I might kill someone by taking a starseed but I don't want to make them suffer if they need to die." If she could at least draw a line...make some moral rule for herself...she could handle it then. She could still be a healer, still work ina health care industry as a civilian.
"Did it always come easy for you? Or did it take time as well?" For most people she was sure it took time but some she was certain were like this...or perhaps fell into it quickly and easily. What would happen to them all when this fighting ended, assuming they won, what would they all do then?
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2023 8:24 pm
"The starseed - it's your soul. Or as much as people talk about one. You destroy it in your hands or eat it, and that person never reincarnates in the cauldron. They never come back. If you want to show mercy, when you take one out, you do it quick without hesitation. It's painful to be hesitant or slow." He told her, reaching up as he rubbed his hand against his chest where her hand had once been. Despite her hand being gone, he could still feel that phantom feeling of something deep inside grazing that part of him.
"I threw up - the first time." He admitted, still recovering from the touch to his starseed just a little.
"I was very young. I don't think I came from a bad life. I was taught early on how to do it, and it was jarring. But, as time passed, I learned about necessity and survival. I was pushed into places where it was either me or someone else. Decisions to make that most people in their entire lives will never face. I have been here since I was a teenager in high school. I ....can't recall the age. I know I was in high school. I remember talking about it a bit back then."
He looked up, the golden, inhuman eyes looking at her own. "I changed a lot since then. Not even as a half-youma." He clarified before slowly rising up to his feet, looking a bit more tired but luckily steady enough on his feet.
"I've killed both civilians and order alike. Some don't register. Some - some I cherish in a way." He said as he wiped his brow with the back of his arm.
"All these things are sacrifices to the ultimate goal to allow the planet peace. I am thankful to the civilians I have had to drain and those I have had to kill in order to continue fighting in the war."
"We will continue training again next week for another session out on the field. You can decide the time. I can work around your schedule."
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2024 9:14 pm
"I see...and do you prefer destroying a starseed once taken or turning it in? Does it matter in the end when it comes to destroying them or turning them in for reincarnation? Do both things deny it?" She questioned, wanting to know. The idea of reincarnation wasn't one which was new to her, it was a part of her culture, but she wanted to know what to do with a starseed and which way may allow it to be reincarnated, or not. "Perhaps if allowed reincarnation they'll pick the right side the next time around..." So perhapos it should be allowed to them once they are killed.
"That's a long time...and I don't think it's like that any more, those sorts of live or die situations. At least not that I've seen...though I haven't seen a lot." She whispered, though she couldn't imagine being in such a posistion. She would do what she had to though, because she wanted to return to her family at the end of each night. She did not want to worry them about her, ever, so she would see to it that she returned even if she had to do what she dreaded but knew she might need to one night. She would kill if she absolutely had to, because she would return home at the end of the night; ever time.
"Why the civilians? If you remember. I know why order, live and kill or don't and die. But were they bad people; the civilians?" She questioned, she could understand and even accept that. But for them to be normal, average, people who weren't bad...that didn't make sense to her morals." A sacrifice to the their side...to win the war and bring peace. She hoped the ones he took weren't good people, who deserved to see the peace at the end of this all, because she would like them all to see it.
At the change in topic she nodded her head. "Yeah, I can do that. Training again sounds good. I'd like to work on that and we should go out at some point, maybe a few times." Till she was more confident in herself and wasn't likely to get beaten down by some senshi, or a knight, because she wanted to avoid a fight. She knew her magic would work but she needed to use it not as a way to run from something. "I'll check my schedule and let you know when I'm free. I'll send you my whole schedule." And then whatever she prefered.
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2024 4:35 pm
"It depends on the starseed. Taking from a enemy is rewarding. I don't destroy it because that's a call for those above me to make. They decide. I only destroy one if I'm in a situation where I need to eat a starseed. If you destroy a starseed, it no longer returns to the caluldron. Turning it - well, you and I are both starseeds who have Chaos in them. But we will be reincarnated once we die so long as our starseed is not destroyed." He explained.
"When it's people, I don't care to destroy them but if they are used to help one of our officers or be destroyed, I tend not to care much. Civilians I energy drain. Most do not have their starseeds taken. It's better to gain energy orbs for civlians who can continue to be harvested later down the road. If they are real s**t people, well, you can decide then. But killing too often brings too much attention and is best avoided. We can't all be going on killing sprees just for a pocket full of starseeds." He pointed out as he rose up and stretched his arms above his head.
"If you care for moraly, you can go to the worst parts of Destiny and pick your fill of awful people to justify starseed pulling, but that isn't what's requested of us. It's starseeds from those who cause us issues - the knights and senshi. Those are the main targets. Civilians are just about for quotas for energy orbs." He clarified.
"Your schedule will be appreciated. I'll try not to take up too much time, but patrolling together would be good too. I'm always free to do that."
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2024 9:10 pm
"I do like that idea, of going out together. I'll be sure to send it as soon as I can." She had some things to think about, not too much, but enough. She could understand taking starseeds from senshi and knights, if only to keep them from the war till they were reborn.She also didn't mind the idea of taking them from thje morally corrupt, dangerous people, who suirvived in some small pockets of the city. Them being removed might help other people, it might be a good thing, and shouldn't they be doing the city some good? "What I mean is...are turned in starseeds destreoyed to be used or do they simply hang around somewhere? I just wonder what happens once things are turned in. If we are using the energy from orbs wouldn't we from starseeds as well and that would destroy them?"
"I think if I keep it to morally bankrupt people I could do it...it would be helping other people. I think if I do it a few times I'll be ok with it." And she really might need to be ok with it before she had no choice in a battle, before she might hesitate.
"I hope you will help me become a better officer and to navigate things in a moral way, or at elast as close as I can." Because war was a test on a persons morals and she knew it would be. But she would find balance and pace - she had to. She had a lot to learn, to work on, and she was rather sure Wolframite could help her with it. He was going at a pace she could handle and was certainly easy to talk to and understanding enough.
"You should get some rest. I will send my message by the end of tonight." And she did move to get her drink, she could use it right now, she would head home from here and check on her work schedual and send it along with a request to try out one of the darker parts of the city - she needed to get her hands dirty and the sooner the better.
MoonKitsune I think we can end here. And tghen move to another rp
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