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 Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 6:26 am
Casey laughed awkwardly when asked what book he was reading. He could feel his ears turning red, and he shifted a bit uncomfortably.
“Oh, I mean, it’s silly. It was second hand and only a dollar so I figured why not, but, um. It’s kind of like a self help book for, I mean. I talk too much, you know? I know I ramble a lot, and I guess it’s a big problem for a lot of people. And. Oh. If I should be quiet, or if you need me to stop talking, I can. I don’t have a problem with that. I just kind of keep talking to fill the silence when I’m nervous or feel embarrassed. Oh, like I’m doing now, because I can’t seem to stop even though wow I’ve definitely made myself look even more ridiculous than I already have so. I’m going to shut my mouth now.”
And he did just that. Then lifted both hands to bury his face into and maybe he would just melt into the ground and cease to exist.
Harrison clearly didn’t mind the talking, and wiggled around so she could get onto her back in Ariel’s lap.
“I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re okay and my couch is comfortable--” he mumbled behind his hands and. Oh, he was supposed to be keeping his mouth shut.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 6:35 am
For a moment, Ariel thought he might have asked the wrong question. In the sleepy fog, he suspected that Casey was reading some raunchy romance book or something equally provocative, judging by the reaction.
But a self-help book?
“That’s so practical,” he said instead, and began to rub at Harrison’s chest as she wriggled in his lap. He was careful not to spill the water on her or himself.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I admire people who try to better themselves. I didn’t know they wrote self-help books for talking, though–do people really have a problem with that? I like that you talk so much. That’s not facetious. It makes you seem very honest. And I actually think it’s really relaxing” It helped that he had a nice voice. “I don’t care much for secrets, they make me nervous. Not that you have to spill your whole life out for me,” he insisted–and he knew he was hypocritical because he was very guarded with his own life.
“It’s just that you’re easy to listen to. I’m sorry, have I made you feel nervous or embarrassed? I hope I can make it up to you. I think you’re very good company. Better than I deserve, all things considered.”
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 6:44 am
“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t be embarrassed about it. I mean. I am. There’s probably a reason it was so cheap. But I thought maybe I could be a little less annoying, you know? I just sometimes have too much energy. But Harrison and I go running when that happens, so it’s fine. I mean, I guess it’s not,” he rambled nervously, his cheeks now red after being told that he was easy to listen to. Was that right? Was Ariel just being nice?
“Oh, but, no. I mean maybe. I’m a little nervous, but not because you’ve broken into my apartment twice -- I’m just kidding. That’s a joke, I promise. I guess I like having someone to talk to. Oh, but I guess this is more like me talking at you.”
Oh no, he was making it worse.
“I think you’ve been a great neighbor though, for what it’s worth. You’ve always been polite and don’t make a lot of noise, and Harrison obviously likes you. I’m kind of glad you walked in, because I’ve always wanted to talk to you more. Or at you more. Sorry…”
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 6:55 am
Ariel tilted his head just slightly to the side, like he was thinking about Casey’s words. It was short lived because he winced–just a bit, and tried to make up for it by resting his cheek on the back of the couch. His head hurt a bit and he’d made himself just the slightest bit dizzy, but like this it didn’t seem so hard to manage.
He didn’t seem upset about being teased; it had drawn a smile to his face, and if he were being honest it was a bit of a relief that Casey could joke about it. The words were sweet but he didn’t want to push his luck and wear out his welcome.
Truthfully, he liked Casey’s company. He just wasn’t so good at reaching out to make new friends, and with everything else that was going on he tended to stick to himself. Just for now. Just until things got worked out.
It just felt like the finish line was so far out of sight that he was in this whole mess alone.
“I try not to leave much of a footprint where I go these days,” he admitted; it was hard to claim to be ‘a good neighbor’ when he was deliberately quiet and minded his own business for more reasons than just social courtesy.
“I can’t believe you think you’re annoying. Whoever made you think that must be insufferable. I work in a call center, I’m on the phone all day. I’ve met annoying people,” he assured. “I like listening to you. Honest. I don’t have a lot of enthusiasm when it comes to talking about myself, so I rather like this arrangement. What makes you want to talk to me more?”
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:15 am
“It’s hard to not think I’m annoying when other people have said I am,” Casey admitted as he peeked between his fingers at Ariel, before finally lowering his hands from his face, despite it still being red.
“Maybe I just rub people the wrong way? I don’t know. I try not to be too obnoxious but,” he paused and shrugged.
The question about what made him want to talk to Ariel more had his face flushing darker again. Luckily for him he had a chance to avoid answering it right away because there was a knock at the door and Casey jumped up so he could go to open it. He took the pizza, handed the delivery person a tip with thanks, and shut the door behind him.
Two steps away from the door he stopped, pivoted, and reached out to lock the door.
Harrison was already wiggling around at the smell of food, but she didn’t get off the couch.
“Let me get napkins,” he said and hurried off to the kitchen once he left the box on the coffee table.
It wasn’t until he was back and sitting on the couch and opening the box to see what the pizza looked like that he answered.
“You just… always look so sad. Nervous, I guess? Like you’re going to jump at any loud noise,” he confessed, glancing anxiously over at Ariel.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:26 am
Ariel kept one hand loosely around Harrison, like he was ready to grab her if she got too enthusiastic about greeting whoever was at the door. He was visibly proud when Casey locked the door and relaxed into the couch when he returned.
He didn’t reach for the food or make any effort to help himself to any of it; he seemed content–and well mannered–enough to wait for Casey to return.
In the time since he’d asked his question and gotten his answer he’d almost forgotten what he’d even asked about.
Briefly, he looked a bit uncomfortable, but it was impossible to tell if it was nervousness or embarrassment. It was Casey’s own anxious expression that calmed him, though; he flashed a small smile. “Do I? Maybe that’s true. My life has been a bit hectic recently, I suppose I’m a bit worn down. I have been a bit jumpier than usual, too. Nervous,” he shrugged, and nodded. “Sad, that too. Was I really so obvious? I was just trying to stay out of everyone’s way and keep to myself. The last few months have been a bit trying.”
He seemed a bit reluctant to talk about himself, but he’d asked, and it didn’t seem fair not to acknowledge Casey’s response.
“I don’t know if it’s any bit of reassurance, but I really can’t imagine how you rub anyone the wrong way. Really. I don’t think you–or Harrison–have ever done anything annoying. On the contrary, I think you’re a wonderful neighbor. I’m glad I live next to you.”
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:40 am
“Thanks. I mean it,” Casey smiled back, seeming to relax a bit when Ariel reassured him. He knew that Ariel only knew him as his neighbor and not a coworker or relative, so Casey was glad he hadn’t annoyed him yet.
Harrison was perfect, though. She could do no wrong.
“I hope your life settles down and isn’t so hectic soon,” Casey sighed after a moment, because he really didn’t know what to do to help with something like that. So he took a piece of the pizza for himself, and then pushed the box closer to Ariel so he could pick a slice.
“If you ever feel like you need to just… relax. Or, you know, not think about anything, you’re welcome to borrow Harrison. She’s great at distracting,” he said as she excitedly wiggled. “Ah, no, you’ll have your dinner later. Okay fine, here’s some ham,” he caved, pulling a piece off his pizza for her, to her delight.
“Or, I mean, I’m here, too. I don’t know how relaxing that will be, but I can put on some soft music or something. Or you can just text me and I’ll play my music so you can hear it easier.”
He wanted to ask more. But he didn’t want to pry. It was clear that Ariel was cautious about opening up, and that was okay. Casey didn’t want to put him in a position that made him feel like he had to say anything. It would be worse if he felt like he had to lie just to appease Casey’s curiosity.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:53 am
Maybe Ariel took a little longer to get a slice of pizza so he could take some time to mull over how he wanted to respond. Maybe he was just conscientious about trying not to bother Harrison.
Maybe he really was just still tired from everything earlier.
There was probably no reason to be so mindful; he held the box and only touched one piece of pizza, and pulled it out with great caution so he didn't drop anything. It didn't smell bad, it didn't look bad. He was just taking it all in.
He was too hungry not to take a large bite, and the moment the flavor hit his tongue he closed his eyes and nodded approvingly. Ariel didn't talk with his mouth full, but he did lean back against the couch so he could savor the flavor and rest for a moment.
It didn't seem fair to just ignore Casey, but there were so many mental hurdles to jump through just to answer that he wasn't even sure where to start.
"I feel relaxed here."
He had to force himself to talk before he took another bite. "This is good, by the way. Thank you for suggesting it. There's something very easy about the two of you. I feel like we could be old friends. If that's not too presumptuous to say. You just have that air about you, you're comfortable to be around. Part of why I can't wrap my head around anyone telling you that you were annoying."
Or, maybe Ariel was just so desperate for any sort of companionship that he didn't see any of what they were saying.
"I can hear your music through the wall, sometimes." He wasn't sure if he should admit that, but he did so without too much of a smile. He wasn't judging! He just never really knew what he'd hear from Casey's apartment. "The walls are thin. It doesn't bother me. I've fallen asleep listening to it a few times. I think we share a bedroom wall."
Maybe the reason it was easy to feel close to Casey was because there was half a foot separating them.
"My apartment's a bit lonely. I don't have family or friends over, so it's just me. I don't even have a television. It's pretty sparse, but." He shrugged. "I wasn't planning on staying here for a long time. I'm just waiting for a few things to clear up. It's all very dramatic, probably a bit too much to discuss over our second dinner. Especially since I've broken in both times."
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 8:15 am
Casey wasn’t entirely sure what to do with such openness and honesty from someone who was usually so secretive and kept to themselves. Friendly exchanges in the hall didn’t do enough to let either of them get to know each other.
He could feel his ears burning a little at the suggestion that Ariel felt like they could be old friends. It sounded too good to be true. And a nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him that people were often just trying to be nice when they said things like that.
So he offered Ariel a smile, even as he could feel his heart break at the thought of Ariel not staying there very long.
“Oh, well. You’re the most welcome potential burglar I can think of. And it’s not breaking in, since the door was unlocked,” he pointed out a bit sheepishly. He was trying to get better! He just got distracted easily.
“If you ever feel like you’re too lonely, I don’t mind keeping you company. Or Harrison if you’d prefer the somewhat silence. Unless she’s chewing on her toenails,” he sighed, but reached over to give her a playful pat on her flank. She responded by whipping her tail happily back and forth -- an instant regret from Casey because he didn’t want her knocking pizza onto the floor or out of their hands.
“Or if you ever just want to talk -- oh! You could just knock on the wall and we can get glasses to hold up to the wall to hear better. Not… not that I’ve actually done that with people living in other apartments. I mean playing around as a kid,” he quickly explained, feeling his face flush a bit in addition to his ears.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 8:31 am
An exasperated smile twitched onto his face as he looked at Casey. He raised the pizza in his hand up a bit to make sure it was safe from Harrison’s enthusiastic wiggling.
“Well, I promise I’m not here to steal anything. Oh, but, maybe a bit of Harrison’s attention. She’s wonderful. I appreciate how friendly you are. I never did that glass to the wall thing, does it really work? We can try. Or, we could text or something. In case the walls are too thick for the glasses.”
Was it too forward to ask? Maybe. Ariel tried not to look a bit embarrassed about even asking; it felt like being in elementary school and trying to figure out if you should ask someone if they wanted to be friends instead of just letting it happen naturally.
But, this wasn’t even the first time they’d had dinner together. And Casey still wasn’t trying to usher him out the door.
He took another bite of his pizza to buy himself a few seconds to unscramble his already exhausted brain.
…It might be nice to have someone to check in on him every now and then, though he didn’t want to burden Casey with that. Maybe there was something he could do for him, too. Even if it was just keeping him company every now and then.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 8:36 am
“Oh, texting is probably much more convenient,” Casey both enthusiastically and sheepishly agreed.
“You’d be surprised how easy it is to hear into the other room, even if it’s muffled. I had to do it when I was younger just to try and figure out what mood my parents were in,” he said, and then seemed to realize that he was probably oversharing and laughed a bit awkwardly about it.
“It’s okay though. I wouldn’t do it to you unless you were okay with it. I promise I’m not trying to invade your privacy or anything,” he grimaced and fumbled with the pizza in his hands as he tried to pick off a piece of ham so he could offer it to Harrison.
Oh. Oh, his ears were definitely red. He was definitely embarrassing himself, but Ariel was nice and at least hadn’t told him he was weird yet. That was good.
“But yeah, feel free to text me any time. Is there any time you wouldn’t want to be bothered? I mean, oh, I guess your phone could set it for when you get text or not, but. Oh, you can text me any time. Or just knock on the wall. Or walk in,” he ended with a laugh, but realized that might have been in poor taste, so he took a bite of his pizza to shut himself up.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 8:47 am
Maybe it was because Ariel was so tired, or maybe just because it had been so long since he had a real, friendly, no-stakes conversation, but he couldn’t find any room in his heart to think Casey was oversharing or weird or anything.
He really did like listening to him. Even when he could tell that he was feeling a bit awkward. He’d noted that it mostly seemed to happen only after Casey had spoken, not when he was listening to Ariel. Which made sense, he supposed; if others had made Casey doubt himself or think he talked too much, of course he’d be self conscious.
It made Ariel a bit sad to think; Casey was so sweet. He deserved better from those around him.
“Oh, please. You’re not invading my privacy. I almost never take phone calls, so there’s not much to eavesdrop on, anyway. I try to stay quiet. Really, you don’t have to promise me anything about ‘invading my privacy’. I mean.” He gestured around the room with the pizza in his hand before he took a bite.
“I’ve literally invaded your home.”
He smiled softly, and for as embarrassed as he’d been before, Casey had somehow made it feel like it really was fine. Or, at least, not something worth being upset about.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 12:17 pm
Casey took another bite of pizza before glancing down at the box.
“You know, I mean, this is a big pizza. You should absolutely take it back to your place with you. But, well, I was thinking. If you want help finishing it, I’ll be around tomorrow. Maybe this time I’ll be able to open the door for you,” he teasingly suggested, although he wasn’t sure if it was okay for him to even say anything like that, especially since Ariel had been the one to buy the pizza.
“Oh, but stuff like this is great for meal prep too. Just stick a slice in a bag and boom. You’ve got lunch prepared. And dinner. It’s… yeah that’s kind of sad, isn’t it?” he laughed and then sighed.
“Thanks for hanging out with me, though. I appreciate the company. And someone who can actually talk back,” he added as he reached out to pat Harrison who was already trying to find more ham.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 2:43 pm
“No, please. I’m very happy with how this turned out. There are so many ways that tonight could have gone wrong, I can’t believe that it’s ending on such a good note. Do you want to save a little bit for lunch tomorrow? I’ll take the rest. When I get home tomorrow, we can finish it off.”
It seemed like a good plan, right?
Well–it was a plan.
It had been a very long time since he’d actually made plans with someone. It felt taboo. It felt dangerous.
Realistically, it couldn’t be. Right? He kept a low profile, everything seemed like it was going well enough. He wasn’t making waves. What was dinner here and there with a neighbor? With a friend?
“I get off at seven, is that too late? I can pick up some dessert on the way home, too. Not that pizza is a particularly healthy meal, but I could pick up something from a bakery I go by. It always smells so good but the smallest order is too much for one person to eat and there’s so much I want to try. I don’t think it would get wasted if I could share it with you. Oh, and Harrison. I won’t get anything with chocolate. Maybe some soup, too. If it’s going to keep raining like this, it might be nice to have something easy and hearty that heats up fast. Oh. Chili.”
Maybe he was just still hungry; he took another bite of the pizza and realized he probably shouldn’t be dreaming of all the different meals he could bring over to share with Casey.
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 5:32 pm
Casey perked up, because not only was Ariel agreeing to meeting him for dinner again, but he was even talking about bringing dessert. And soup.
“I like soup,” Casey said in agreement to the suggestion, although his voice was weirdly emotional. Which was stupid. He was talking about soup. But Ariel must have remembered that he said he liked soup. He probably talked about soup every time they crossed paths.
“Anything sounds good. Yeah. We should definitely do that. Maybe, um, okay this is probably crazy so you can tell me that I’m being too pushy, but would you like to get together maybe once or twice a week, just to talk and have dinner? I mean, nothing high maintenance, just whatever we have that two people can share. Or we can bring our own food. I think the courtyard out back isn’t crowded around seven. I mean, a couple people smoking maybe, but not anything horrible.”
He practically held his breath, because he knew he was pushing his luck. But Ariel was the first person to actually want to hang out with him. Did this make them friends? Oh, he should probably just keep to ‘neighbor’ for now. Just in case.
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