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 Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2023 1:39 pm
Kaelan rested against him, and if he wasn’t holding the water he would have wrapped his arm around him, too.
“It’s okay. I want you to be better soon, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to rush through it. I know none of this is easy.” He fished out the medicine easily, uncapped it, got it all ready for Orien. He wanted to make this as easy as possible on him.
He felt a little tired, a little wrung out.
He didn’t know how to answer the first question.
Maybe a part of it was because it reminded him of them. There was a familiarity in it, but only so far as knowing that his mother said it was worth something. Worth enough to keep out of his hands. Worth more than he was. A part of him was curious to know how much that was. He’d have sold it in a heartbeat. Five dollars was still four more than he’d paid, and when he didn’t know how else he could contribute, it felt like a lot.
Maybe he was disappointed that it could have been something good, but–well, no, he didn’t even know that. He’d hoped. He wanted to do things to help Orien, not stress him out.
He felt a little ridiculous for being hopeful. He’d spent so long having hope, and in the end he wasn’t even sure what it had gotten him. Heartbreak? Rejection? Humiliation? Things he was still terrified of.
His expression was solemn, which was better than sad, which was better than upset. He could sort his feelings and thoughts, and he could keep a calm enough appearance that he didn’t think it would cause problems. His face was tired, he looked tired. He managed a partial smile for Orien, but it felt like it took a lot of effort.
Maybe it was just bedtime. Maybe he was just cranky from running around. Or hangry. His voice lost its volume, but he didn’t even seem fully aware of it; he just spoke a little quieter than usual.
“I don’t dislike it. If you like it, we can keep it. What types of decorations do you like? Maybe I can keep my eye out for things that might make you happy.” Even if they were supposed to be responsible and not spend money, he still wanted to pamper Orien. With more than just chocolate to make the medicine go down a little easier. He had what he needed to be happy; he had paper and pens so he could work. Or write. Although, that felt a little silly right now; he should finish up his resume and get that typed up so he could start sending it out.
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2023 6:37 pm
“I can’t say I’ve thought much about decorations,” Orien admitted as he held out his hand for the medicine to take as soon as he had it in his hand. He swallowed it with a sip of water.
“You’re my favorite thing to look at. Does that count? Maybe we should just get a bunch of mirrors to put in the apartment. Oh, but make sure they’re attached to the wall. I don’t want to bump into them and break them.”
It was a partial tease. He did like looking at Kaelan, so he wouldn’t have been against a bunch of random mirrors, just so he could see Kaelan from every angle whenever he wanted, but he assumed mirrors were also expensive.
“What about you? Anything I could keep an eye out for? Just in case.” Because if Kaelan was doing nice things for him, Orien wanted to return the favor.
There was still something about the quietness in Kaelan’s voice that rubbed Orien wrong, but he was feeling so unwell he couldn’t just pin Kaelan to the bench and shower him with kisses until he talked.
Soon.
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2023 7:57 pm
Another half smile, but his ears didn’t even get red at the teasing. “We might get better lighting if we had mirrors all over, too. We’d just have to be careful bringing them upstairs.”
Somehow, seven flights of stairs sounded even more daunting.
He crossed his ankles and pushed the toe of his left shoe into the ground. “You’re my favorite to look at, too. I keep trying to remember what my room looked like the last time I decorated. I don’t really remember. I remember the furniture. But not the pictures on the wall. My bedsheets were black. I liked lights, I guess. But it sounds dumb to say it like that. I guess I just didn’t like the dark. I had a lot of books. But I can get those from the library. And I usually get tired by the time it gets dark, so I don’t even need more lights.”
His mouth felt sore, he wondered if he was talking too much.
“I wasn’t really thinking of decorating or anything. I was just happy to be with you. I have to think about what I like nowadays. When I try to think about it I can only imagine white walls and white sheets. So your apartment is already leagues ahead of what I can think of. It’s still new to me so I can’t picture anything I’d like to change.”
He just wanted Orien to be happy. And, he seemed better off out here. Kaelan slumped against him a little more. He was tired. He felt like the energy had been sucked out of him. They still had a long walk back. And seven flights of stairs.
And dinner, somewhere, even if he didn’t have much of an appetite right now.
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 7:08 am
He couldn’t say for certain, but Orien thought he could feel the energy leaving Kaelan as he slumped against him more. He wasn’t supposed to be absorbing Kaelan’s energy! He was just… wanting to rest a bit.
“Let’s go back. Come on, I can carry you for a bit,” he offered, and after he made sure his stomach was going to cooperate, he pushed himself up from the bench and held out his hand for Kaelan.
“I’ve still got some strength. And you’ve been taking such good care of me, Kay.”
He didn’t like seeing Kaelan like this. Maybe if he pounded on the door of the antique shop that was probably closed by now, he would be able to convince that guy with the judgy look to give them twenty dollars for the figure or something.
“I love you, my precious, most wonderful boyfriend. We’ll talk about decorating on the way. Maybe we can start with small mirrors.”
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 8:01 am
Kaelan accepted the hand and pulled himself up, but he gave Orien a brief, pleading look. “Just because you have strength now doesn’t mean we can waste it. You can carry me later. I’ll feel bad if you take longer to feel better because you wanted to cart me around. But, I love you, too. Thank you for offering.”
Orien’s stomach had made noises that made his stomach hurt in solidarity. He slung the backpack over one arm and held onto the strap, just in case. With his other hand, he laced his fingers with Orien again. “If we find something good to eat on the way home, we’ll stop. If we don’t find a good hot dog stand on the way back, I can make us something.”
Soup, or sandwiches. Maybe a grilled cheese. He could eat the same thing over and over again, he just wanted to make sure it was something Orien could keep down.
One of the clocks in the antique shop chimed; it was enough to make him jump, but only because he wasn’t expecting it. Five, so already past the usual dinner time. He wondered if Orien was still on their old schedule, or how long it had taken him to break away from it. He was sick now, so it wasn’t like he could really get a good idea of any of it.
But, soon. Orien was doing his best.
Kaelan would just have to try to do his best, too.
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