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 Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 9:55 am
Oh, Sessrumnir was particularly cute like this. Alsator couldn’t help but smile as he watched him walk backwards, and he kept a good grip on his hands, just in case. The ground was flat and the grass was smooth; even if there was a small slope up to the tree, it wasn’t dangerous.
When he asked what Alastor felt, there was a moment where he didn’t quite know.
The golden orbs grew more plentiful as they approached the Tree, and sometimes even seemed to swirl around them.
“I’m feeling a lot,” he confessed, but without any shame.
“A little overwhelmed, but it’s not unpleasant. I’m proud. That this tree has overcome so much. That my world has. That I can stand here and look at it and see new growth. Life. Proud to have you here with me. My heart’s fluttering. I feel a lot of love, too.”
For his world. For the Oak Tree. For Percy. For Michael.
He felt it from them, too.
“Safe. Like if I wanted to lay in the grass and rest by the tree, nothing could hurt us. Sad, a bit.”
This was still a grave. His heart carried a wound that would never heal.
“But happy, too. Hopeful. Feels like I’m supposed to be here, though. Like there’s an invitation to be here. Like a welcoming home party. Do you feel any of that?”
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 10:56 am
Sessrumnir smiled as Alastor spoke. He squeezed his hands as he carefully led the way closer to the tree. He could feel the soft ground beneath his feet and feel the warmth from the sun that didn’t seem as far away as it really was.
“I feel all of that,” he agreed, lifting Alastor’s hands to his lips to kiss. “I’m proud of you. I’m proud of your world. I’m grateful that Percy met you and loved you, and gave you a chance that others wouldn’t.”
He knew what Alastor’s world used to be like. He knew that Devyn felt saved by Percy as much as Percy felt saved by Devyn. They both had their own fates, yet they were better because they had each other. Alastor was better. Sessrumnir was better. If Percy hadn’t made his sacrifice, Devyn wouldn’t be there to save his world. Maybe another Alastor would have been born, but he would have been so young when things went wrong. He likely wouldn’t have survived the Fall. This world wouldn’t have survived.
“I’m grateful that I met you and fell in love with you. Grateful that you fell in love with me gave me a chance,” he continued as he pressed a kiss to Alastor’s hands again. “I don’t remember ever feeling happier. And here…?”
He took a moment to look up, at the branches stretching over them, and the glowing orbs dancing around them.
“This world feels like another home to me. Like I’ve been here before enough to be familiar with it.”
Well, he supposed in a way he had. He knew how much Devyn had lost over the hundreds of years, but he hoped that maybe he could help him feel like he was finally gaining something back.
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 11:04 am
“It is home,” Alastor promised. The golden glow of the tree behind Sessrumnir was more radiant than the sun, he thought, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of his husband. “There is no part of this world you are not welcome to. We can travel sometime. I’ll show you all of it. This place is special to me in a way none other could be,” he admitted, but Sessrumnir knew that.
The Hall was his home, where he’d spent most of his time when he was growing up. His Core was here. Percy was here.
This was where he’d had his family. This was where he’d had a Council to support him. This was where he had friends.
There were other parts of his world that were special to him–Arista, first and foremost. A town with nearly as many memories as the Hall. Being just down the road, it felt like an extension of home, anyway. Villefort was special, for a very different reason.
He didn’t talk about the town he’d been born in, and while it was special, it was also a graveyard, now. Washed away and forgotten even before the Chaos struck.
“So I know I’ll always come back here. But I’d like to take you to the mountains, sometime. To all the great lakes. To the beach, though the ocean’s dangerous. I don’t know if time has eased the sea, but if anyone could tame it, I’m sure it would be you.”
He lowered his hand, and Sessrumnir’s, so he could take a step forward and kiss him beneath the tree.
“I want to share all of this with you. It’s yours as much as it is mine. I used an acorn from Sessrumnir.” He nodded to the tree. “And it grew down, right into my Core.”
He was still certain Percy’s spirit must have been watching over him and pouring what energy it had into the tree. It didn’t matter if it was just a fantasy, it brought Devyn more comfort than he could say. “Wrapped its roots right down to protect it. And you can see the light of the Core in the tree, it pulses just the same as it does.” The same as the necklace, too.
“They worked together. Made something new, something strong. Something beautiful. I like to think it means that Sessrumnir and Alastor will always be better together. I can’t even think it’s just luck that you were reborn to be the Knight of Sessrumnir, you know. I think, when your starseed resonated with it, back when Percy was carrying it, they bonded. I think that set the standards so high, Sessrumnir decided not to settle for less ever again. It’s always been picky with its Knights. I think it’s the sort of Wonder willing to wait for the right person. And I think it’s you. I think it’s always going to be you.”
He looked at him and thought the same.
“I’m happy with you. In a way I didn’t think I’d get to be again in this lifetime. And there’s so much more we’ve yet to do together, but in the next life, we’ll do it even better. You won’t have to wait so long for me. I’ll find you again, and we’ll get to do this in a new way. I’ll fall in love with you a thousand times over, you know. I can’t help it. My starseed’s made up its mind, too. It won’t settle for anyone less.”
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 12:08 pm
Sessrumnir smiled at the kiss, and held tightly to Alastor’s hands as he spoke, as he made his promises and spoke about how he felt. Sessrumnir could feel his heart fluttering in a way he’d grown to associate with Devyn. His kindness and compassion healing the pieces of his broken heart that he never thought were possible to heal.
Maybe neither of them would be able to heal entirely. There would always be pieces lost with time or lost with those important to them that were gone, but they might be able to hold each other together.
He didn’t know how Alastor could be so confident in him, or so confident that Sessrumnir chose his starseed. He understood a little bit about how it tended to be picky, at least from what Ganymede told him. Maybe what Alastor said was true and that the Wonder resonated with his starseed, or maybe he got lucky that he also came from the same bloodline as Percy.
But Alastor’s confidence was contagious, and Sessrumnir couldn’t help but lean forward so he could kiss him again.
There were a number of things Sessrumnir could have said, in varying disparaging degrees. But he was trying to do better. And how could he look at Alastor, especially with how sweet and wonderful he was, and tell him he might be wrong?
So instead of offering suggestions about how the universe might be cruel to them, he pulled his hands away from Alastor’s so he could place them on his face to kiss him one more time. Although this time it lasted longer than the others, and held everything Sessrumnir wanted to say but couldn’t figure out the right words.
His worries were overshadowed with the love he felt for him. His trust and pride in Devyn with everything. And how much he was looking forward to falling in love with him a thousand times over as well.
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 1:59 pm
Sessrumnir didn’t need to have words for Alastor to understand.
From it, he knew that Sessrumnir loved him. That one was easy, though. The kiss wasn’t about physical attraction–though, Alastor was not ashamed to say that he felt that strongly for his husband, regardless. It wasn’t just about shutting him up, either. It was a language unique to Sessrumnir, unique to their relationship.
It was reassuring. It was healing.
It was a promise.
But, Alastor knew this already.
What meant more to him was that Sessrumnir didn’t try to argue the idea. It didn’t matter if it was a dream or just wishful thinking–it was more than that to Devyn.
Sessrumnir was letting himself dream. He was letting himself believe.
Maybe Michael was just afraid to say what he wanted out loud; maybe he was afraid that if he spoke it, some dark force in the universe would manifest to keep him from it.
So, he didn’t need to say it.
Devyn knew.
He returned the kiss with all of his love, all of his faith, all of his confidence.
He wrapped his arms around Sessrumnir’s waist and drew him close and kissed him until he was nearly breathless. The warmth spread across the both of them; the little golden orbs were close, but they offered no heat.
They moved enthusiastically, like they’d been caught in a current. When one faded, they were quickly replaced.
Alastor didn’t see the glowing token attached to the sash at his waist; he was too busy appreciating the way the orbs lit up his face. Lit up his eyes.
For all the anger, all the rage, all the loss Devyn had faced in his life, when he was with Michael, he couldn’t even imagine it.
“I love you, Michael. Now and forever.”
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 7:00 pm
“I love you too,” Sessrumnir said, nearly breathless as well. “Now and forever.”
He fussed a little with Alastor’s hair then, brushing any loose strands behind his ears, fussed over the wrinkles that didn’t exist along Alastor’s black collar. He felt light and free, and he didn’t want their time together to end.
He liked the way the orbs of light flitted around them, the way they seemed to ebb and flow with the pulse of the Core -- of Alastor’s heart. Which, in reality, was essentially the same thing.
There was also something resonating between them, and while Sessrumnir was okay with just thinking he was imagining it, eventually glanced down to the black token at his own waist, where it seemed to glow with energy, along with Alastor’s.
Sessrumnir let out a quiet laugh as he reached down to brush his fingers over the raised mandela and oak leaves that surrounded it.
“I guess we don’t need to throw these into the Core after all,” he hummed, and then leaned close so he could press his forehead to Alastor’s, and let out a sigh that sounded like he was releasing whatever was left of the tension he held.
“You could be a poet, you know. With all your pretty words. They make my heart race.” He wasn’t even teasing! Although he was smiling, clearly content.
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 7:26 pm
Whether or not his clothes were wrinkled or dusty or sullied, or if his hair was perfect or unkempt, he liked the way Sessrumnir tended to him. Forehead to forehead, he never felt uncomfortable with Michael.
Time never really felt consistent to him. The older his memories were, the newer they felt. Sometimes he could wake up in the middle of the night and forget that he was on Earth. He’d have blamed it on his dreams, but he didn’t really have any.
More now than before, but that was probably Michael’s doing, too. He slept well when he was next to him. It probably had something to do with feeling safe with him. He knew he could count on Michael as much as Michael could count on him.
For much of his life–most of his life, by a long shot, Alastor had lived being cautious of people. He’d been used to being hated, distrusted, feared. He’d gotten used to keeping everyone at a distance.
He’d focused on his world and on helping them, and for as much as he cared about them, it had grown mechanical. It was hard to put your heart into something when your heart had died.
Somewhere along the way, it had woken up again.
When he’d lost everything and relied on the illusion that Percy was fine, that Percy could fix things, it was a bandaid over a bleeding wound.
When he met Michael, it healed. Slowly, at first. And not before getting worse.
But they were here now.
He didn’t know if the tokens would work, but as soon as Sessrumnir reached for his, Devyn did the same. He ran his finger across the surface with visible curiosity. Already, he was familiar with the texture on it. He’d studied it just to get to know it.
There was an energy in it, he thought he could feel it. He wasn’t quite sure he wanted to test it now, though; there was still so much he wanted to do with Michael today. They’d have to test it and see if it worked, but it felt–
Like Sessrumnir. Like Alastor.
Like home.
“Like you make mine?”
But then, Sessrumnir must have known that already. Devyn might have been an expert and controlling his emotions, and keeping himself calm, but sometimes things slipped through–and, gradually, he was learning how to lower those walls so he could be more honest. It wasn’t a conscious lie, it wasn’t an intentional deception. Most of the time. He couldn't help that he didn’t want Michael to worry.
“It’s a good thing you like pretty words and poetry. I don’t do it on purpose. I look at you and say what I feel, that’s all.”
He ran his thumb along the token thoughtfully. “We could still throw these in the Core if you wanted, though. But it’s very kind of Alastor to give us its blessing.”
And Percy too, he thought.
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 8:52 pm
“Oh? Is your heart racing?” Sessrumnir teased, his voice soft as he reached up to press a hand against Alastor’s chest. “Oh, it feels like it is.”
He knew the pulse of Devyn’s heart already, thanks to the orb. Thanks to the gentle light pulsing through the Oak. The tiny balls of light seemed to pulse faintly as well, although it was only noticeable if you watched for a while. The light only changed slightly in intensity.
“It is very kind of Alastor to give us its blessing,” Sessrumnir agreed, keeping his hand on Alastor’s chest a little while longer, before he turned to look up at the tree.
There was so much heartbreak and sorrow and despair associated with the tree. It was sacred, in every way. It was how those on Sessrumnir honored those who had passed, and Michael knew that Percy would have been happy to be laid to rest there. Somewhere so close to Devyn, yet still connected to Sessrumnir in a way.
Although, it was just a tree. Whatever connection it had to Sessrumnir was just its origin.
He liked Alastor’s version. That they worked together and made something new, something strong and beautiful. He was grateful that Alastor’s Core was being protected by the roots, even if it was just by chance that the roots reached for the largest source of energy it could find.
And yet… He could remember seeing the roots around the Core. They weren’t growing into the Core, but rather as a protective shell. Maybe that was the Core’s doing, to protect itself.
Sessrumnir took a careful step closer to the tree, watching as the gold pulsed faintly through the bark, making it look like it was shimmering. Gently, he reached out to place a hand on the tree.
He didn’t know why. Maybe he wanted to thank it for somehow magically finding a way to protect Alastor’s Core, even if that wasn’t its intention. It was just a tree.
But something strange happened, similar to whenever he touched the walls of Sessrumnir.
Shimmering green and gold and pink seemed to radiate outwards from where he’d touched, like a ripple on water.
Sessrumnir immediately pulled his hand away and took a step back, bumping his shoulder into Alastor in his haste to move away.
“Sorry,” he quickly apologized, both for running into him and for whatever he did to the tree. “Sorry I don’t know why I… I should have asked if it was okay to touch.”
He wasn’t sure what he did, but he hoped it wasn’t anything bad.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 7:29 am
Sessrumnir already knew what Devyn’s heart was doing, but he’d enjoyed the playfulness, anyway. Of course his heart was pounding. It would probably stay that way as long as he was still thinking about that kiss.
Never mind all of the other exciting things that were going on around him.
Like the Oak Tree responding to Sessrumnir.
He was particularly in tune to the tree, undoubtedly because it was so important to him. He wanted to protect it from harm. He wanted to see it thrive for his whole life, and beyond.
Even when Chaos was claiming his world, it had stood strong. Sicker, weaker, but unbreakable all the same.
In all the time he’d spent with it, he’d never seen it do that.
He wrapped an arm around Sessrumnir’s shoulders, partly to make sure he didn’t tumble backward over anything, and partly to reassure him. The Tree didn’t seem distressed, and Alastor wasn’t, either. He glanced at Sessrumnir to make sure he was okay, but then nodded back to the tree. “No, you can. It’s fine. What did you do? I’ve never seen it look like that. Touch it again,” he encouraged, well aware of the flourish of golden orbs that bobbed lazily around them.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 8:13 am
Sessrumnir was hesitant now, not wanting to do anything that Alastor might regret letting him do. The tree didn’t seem like it was reacting negatively, he just hadn’t expected it to react at all.
He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as a way to steady himself. And after glancing over at Alastor to make sure he didn’t change his mind, Sessrumnir took a step forward again to cautiously place his hand on the trunk.
Just like the gold that pulsed through the tree already, the golden green and rose gold seemed more subtle now than the first surprised burst. Although with the way the colors rippled and sparkled as they expanded across the trunk, Sessrumnir wondered if the first burst had to do with his own surprise.
And just like the light from Alastor’s Core, the light that radiated from where his hand touched seemed to be in time with his heartbeat.
He thought that it should look strange, with the colors mixing in with the gold, but it just looked like light dappled onto the surface of the bark, shimmering and sparkling as though slightly metallic or iridescent.
“I don’t understand,” Sessrumnir admitted, because this was just a tree. One that originated from Sessrumnir, yes, but that was a thousand years ago.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 8:30 am
Subtle as it might have been, Alastor paid acute interest to any change. Anything new caught his eye. The weedy flowers by the side of the road, the sudden richness in the soil, the manageable water level of the river. He observed much, and often.
He knew it better than he knew himself, so of course he noticed the change. It was familiar. Friendly.
“No?” Alastor prompted. He thought it was rather simple. It only solidified what he’d already figured. Maybe Sessrumnir was a little closer than he’d thought this whole time.
The tree hadn’t responded like this for anyone else. It hadn’t glowed any of the times Devyn rested against it. It hadn’t when anyone else made contact with it.
But then, the walls of Sessrumnir didn’t glow for just anyone, either.
His arm was still wrapped around Sessrumnir’s shoulder and he rubbed his back gently, reassuringly. “I think it’s a pretty good sign, though, don’t you?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 8:39 am
Maybe it wasn’t that Sessrumnir didn’t understand, but rather he didn’t know what to do with this knowledge. That the tree… what? Recognized him as Sessrumnir? That it felt bonded to him even though this was Alastor and not Jupiter?
Or maybe it was even more than that. This was where his starseed -- where Percy had been laid to rest before his starseed was returned to the Cauldron. Before it waited a thousand years to be reborn.
Still, there was a part of him that felt like he was encroaching on something deeply personal to Alastor. He’d already married Devyn. Was it fair that the tree responded to him, when it was Percy’s grave marker?
There was something in his heart that was trying to reassure him. He wasn’t sure if it was because Devyn was always so kind, or if it was because places like this drew out more of what Percy’s feelings would have been on any given subject.
Around them were the little orbs still, and above, the ripples melted in with the gold, spreading out across the branches and newly budding leaves.
When he turned back to Alastor, it was to lower his hand from the tree and take Alastor’s instead.
“I love you,” he said again, because he didn’t think he could say it enough, but especially because he would be a lot worse off without Alastor’s constant reassurance and patience.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 8:56 am
Alastor was quiet while Sessrumnir absorbed the information. Patience came easily to him, and he certainly didn’t mind spending time out here.
It made sense to him, but then–he’d always thought the tree was special. He’d always felt something here. Though the tree hadn’t responded to him in the same way it did to Sessrumnir, it didn’t upset him. He felt it in his heart, he didn’t need it to be more than that.
If anything, there was a peace to it.
It wasn’t just something in his head. There was a great reassurance there, where there had once just been sadness and guilt. He should be proud, he thought–that he’d had some part in helping this tree grow. But then, maybe it was all just Sessrumnir. Maybe it was just Percy.
He could have gotten lost in the moment, just staring at the tree, but Sessrumnir brought him back to this moment. To now.
He kept him grounded. Sane. It had been a while since a memory came back to him here–one of his own, at least. Most often, better than the memories he used to have as a child, of the previous Senshi. If Devyn didn’t remember something now, he wondered if it was even worth remembering at all.
Sometimes, it felt like there were threads unraveling, but he hadn’t yet reached to pull at any of the loose strings.
He knew there were years that had passed by in a blur. He knew there were people and places he’d forgotten.
One day, he’d deal with that.
For now, this was enough.
When he said he would share all of this with Michael, he meant it.
The sentimental places. The dangerous places. The places he visited often, and the places he hadn’t seen in a while. The places he’d never been, however few there might still be.
He’d carried this burden alone for too long, and even if it was different for Michael, he knew he could feel it, too.
Percy wouldn’t have wanted a lifeless legacy. He might have been gone in body, but his spirit and his love remained, and Alastor felt it here as much as he felt Michael’s.
A solemn grave didn’t suit Percy. There should be happiness here. Laughter, and love, and stories. Maybe Atticus could paint here, and Michael could have read them poetry. The sunlight was nice, Devyn probably could have worked on some projects.
Maybe they could find a way to give Princess some time to run around here, too.
It was a nice dream.
He breathed easier now, and his shoulders relaxed. He squeezed Sessrumnir’s hand once more. “I love you too, Michael. Thank you for making me whole again.”
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