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 Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:47 pm
Faustite understood that they'd both hate it. Heliodor was being asked to do something dangerous to someone he cared about, by that same someone. He was trying to console Faustite, too, putting on a brave face and remaining the voice of reason through this off-putting idea. Faustite chewed his lower lip for a moment, trying to decide between two terrible options.
He didn't know what his starseed looked like, but he didn't want to know. It was a visceral reaction. It was automatic. He was part youma; that had to have done something. Magic had remade half his body when he was blown apart defending that generator; that had to have done something. He powered the building while everyone else searched through it. What if that added to whatever was wrong with his starseed? What if it was like a record of past misdeeds? It wasn't as though he'd seen a Negaverse officer's starseed, but for the ones on display in a senshi's chest. Those looked normal, and he had to hold onto the idea that his might, too.
And having an idea of what it looked like established a baseline. If something changed, they would be able to track it. Describe it. That was part of this entire idea, wasn't it?
Finally he let go of his lip, settling for fidgeting in his chair instead. "Take a picture," he agreed. He could ask to see that photo afterward, if he felt so inclined. More than likely he'd ask Heliodor's opinion of how it looked and leave it at that.
No one he knew of had asked a doctor for a photo of the back of their throats, or whatever other procedure was being done to them. Maybe this was similar.
He looked up at Heliodor, tense as all hell, but resigned to this flagrantly terrible idea.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:48 pm
“Ok.” He nodded.
With the impending task at hand he felt the clenching of his stomach. While he had put on a strong front for Faustite, and truthfully believed that this needed to be done for that chance it could bring answers, it didn’t mean he looked forward to it. Maybe long ago, when he had first been corrupted he wouldn’t have bulked. May have even been eager to rip the seed from the General’s chest, but now? Time had passed and many things had changed.
Licking his lips he reached a hand forward to stabilize the soon to be prone body. His eyes locked onto Faustite’s as his other hand pressed on his chest, not quite reaching beyond that point yet. His palm sat there a moment, a pause as if trying to ready Faustite and himself for what was about to happen. Rushing would do neither of them any service.
Taking a breath, he reached into that beyond, into that cavity where the starseed sat and pulled as carefully as he dared.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:48 pm
Faustite liked none of this. And somehow, going slow exacerbated his nerves.
What if Heliodor was too slow? What if it hurt coming out or going back in? What if they found nothing? What if someone came into Heliodor's office while Faustite's starseed was out? What if that someone wanted Faustite's starseed to stay out? What if they wanted to bring Heliodor in for attempted murder? Would he get it back? What if Heliodor was the leak, and Faustite was giving up his starseed to someone who was invested in seeing the Negaverse fall?
He braced harder against the chair, every muscle now rigid with grim expectation. Then he felt a centralized, bone-rending agony radiate outward from his chest, suffusing his body down to his fingertips and toes. A ragged, dreadful sound escaped him. The more Heliodor pulled, the greater that pain surged through him. Took his breath away, it did, though he also wanted to vomit.
Then he didn't want anything.
When Heliodor's hand came free, he held an ominous little starseed — jet black in color, but for the dull orange glow in its center. Would've looked like a normal starseed but for a spray of needlelike mineral formations disfiguring a quadrant of the starseed and tapering off to a fine tip. What sat in Heliodor's hand had grown more unusual when compared to Faustite's starseed as a Captain. Not that Faustite would know.
Every muscle in the General's body slackened, his head lolling back in the manner of the dead. His eyes were half-lidded, as if he forgot to close them before his starseed was pulled. Most peculiar, though, was that the characteristic echo of flame in his eyes was completely gone — snuffed out.
Much like the inferno in his gut. It, too, was gone, leaving only an empty cage with an easy view of the boy's spine. Then, seconds after he lost his starseed, a thick cloud of smoke freed itself from any escapable part of his body, be it his mouth, his nose, or from his gaping lack of internal organs. All that remained was the husk of Faustite, and no one to tell Heliodor what to do with his latest acquisition.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:49 pm
Helio hadn’t ever thought about the pain brought on with a starseed pull. Well, not since his first few anyway. Since then he’d become numb to it and uncaring with each seed he snatched, but there was something viscerally different about pulling a loved ones’. He hated it. Every last second of ripping that starseed from Faustite’s chest was as emotionally painful for him as he assumed the physical pain was by the tightening of his love’s muscles and the catching of breath. When it was over, the seed resting in his hand, he relaxed just a smidge. The worst of it was over.
Faustite slumped in his seat as Helio’s attention shifted to the starseed in his hand. It was barely a fleeting look at the oddly beautiful but misconfigured seed when his full attention was pulled back to his General.
He couldn’t tell what it was, the utterly disconcerting lack of life in his eyes that seemed to peer into Helio’s soul, that puff of smoke that clearly denoted a flame’s collapse or the obvious lack of fire that typically roared within that metal grate giving a view that caused utter terror to grip at Helio’s heart. “********.” He cursed, fingers careful not to squeeze on the delicate starseed in his hand as he fumbled with his thoughts and body. He was disjointed. The panic rose as he began to doubt himself. What if he’d unknowingly lied? The lack of fire in his boy was like a death knell in his head. It should never go out. Never. Did he truly kill his boy? What if putting the starseed back didn’t stoke the fire in that grate? What should he do? Should he just put it back? Say ******** it all to this? He would never forgive himself for this if this actually did end up harming him?
He practically stumbled as he turned to his desk. He needed to finish this. Tears slipped down his cheek as he grabbed his phone that still laid on the desk. Fear of damaging the delicate mineral growths on the starseed meant Helio was unwilling to put it down. Continuing a litany of cursing as he shakily took pictures, several taken in rapid succession in hopes that at least a few were clear he spun back to his boys prone form.
It was then he realized with as much experience he had with taking starseed, he had practically none with putting them back. His breath hitched in his throat. The ******** had he been thinking talking Faustite into this!?
With no clear instruction and following just pure instinct the corrupt held the starseed to Faustite’s chest and reached for that space beyond again. It wasn’t the most confident of procedures. His hands still shook from adrenaline and fear, but his hand sunk into that cavity and returned his boys unique starseed back to him.
Hand withdrawn, Helio watched Faustite with intensity. His breathing heavy and ragged as he watched for a sign of life. A spark of fire, a blink of an eyes, something. “Come on, El. Come back to me. Please.” He quietly prayed as he cupped Faustite’s cheek in his palm, supporting his head while tears still slipped down Helio’s own face.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:51 pm
It was disconcerting. It felt as though no time had passed between being in agony while Heliodor wrenched out his starseed and sitting up from a slouch. He felt woozy as flame flickered and wicked before forming into a warm, proper blaze again, and with it, his eyes transitioned from black to dim to their usual echo of fire. He blinked blearily at Heliodor a few times before absently rubbing his chest.
A dull ache made home in his body. It was his only indication of what happened, beyond Heliodor's clear and present distress. As his sluggish thoughts picked up speed, he realized the boy was upset and he was quite clearly the cause. Something must've happened after pulling his starseed, be it that the thing looked irreparably damaged, was damaged during transit, or something happened to his body when the starseed was out. Regardless of what happened, it looked as though Heliodor had discovered something damning, or had the shock of his life. Faustite could imagine that staring down at the lifeless body of an important someone would be shattering its own sobering way, as he had to deal with his own horrors of taking Kamacite's.
He realized Heliodor's hand was on his face. It felt warm initially, and Faustite had woken up feeling frigid. But now that enough time had passed for him to reacquaint himself with reality, the palm on his cheek was a cool compress.
Faustite decided that he didn't want to know what Heliodor saw. If it was a confirmation that his starseed was irreparably damaged, that he would die soon, then Faustite didn't need the proof of it to accept that inevitability. He leaned forward enough to wrap around Heliodor's waist and drew him wordlessly onto Faustite's lap. Felt awkward, for the boy was so much taller; he could only press the side of his face against Heliodor's bicep, but that didn't matter. Heliodor spoke so much with touch. The message would reach him.
The throbbing in his chest took its time to subside, and Faustite was already tired of it. He blew out an oddly smokeless sigh, then added, "That ******** sucked."
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:53 pm
It felt like an eternity waiting to see that spark of life come back. His eyes kept shifting from the unnervingly empty grate to the lifeless, black eyes all the while silently praying that their experiment hadn’t meant Lex’s demise. It was maybe a passing of seconds, but when he felt the tell-tale heat of flame, mild at first, and the return of life to those eyes, a hitched breath escaped him before he planted a kiss on Faustite’s brow.
Bless the boy, for he knew exactly what Helio needed in that moment and the corrupt let himself be drawn into that smaller lap. All points of contract needed to help calm his racing heart and abate the panic that still hadn’t fully washed itself from his system. The chair groaned with loud protest at the extra weight, but held, if begrudgingly.
He choked out a laugh between tears of release and happiness. “You’re telling me.” He said as he curled in on himself so his head could be as close to Faustite’s as possible.
“I wasn’t ready.” He murmured. “Not for that. Not….seeing you so lifeless and…” He sniffed back another choked sob before releasing a breath. “Your flame went out and I panicked. I damn well knew you would be gone for all intents and purposes but seeing that flame go out…And then i realized I’d always taken starseeds but never put one back and I just, I didn’t know what to do and…” The panic at the memory gripped again as he nuzzled his face into black locks, breathing in the scent that was purely Lex. “Don’t ever wanna see you like that again.” He murmured quietly.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 5:57 pm
Faustite jerked with a couple weak coughs, but otherwise held fast to the boy. Heliodor was terribly, irresistibly cute when he fell into these sorts of tragic panic, where his voice broke and he started crying about things that failed to come to pass. It showed how much he cared how much he loved Faustite that he fell into instantly grieving even after he'd come back to life.
Faustite didn't want to imagine what his lifeless self looked like. He would never see it, which was a blessing; he didn't care for his appearance while alive, either.
"You figured it out," Faustite pointed out quietly, hoarsely. "If you're ever uncertain, you've a whole team to call. Sovereigns above them." The interconnectivity of the Negaverse was seldom capitalized upon, but Faustite was certain that someone among the ranks would know what to do when returning a starseed. Any given person, whether a stranger or a friend, was one call away. He could've yelled down the halls in anguish and some Captain or Super might have answered him, if only to tell him to keep his voice down, but someone was always there.
"Don't fret so much. Whole purpose of this is an exercise in not dying." Faustite allowed himself a half-smile against the boy's bicep.
"Will try not to make a habit of it, though."
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 6:00 pm
He hated this. All of it. His blubbering, the panic that was slowly receding as he clutched to his boy, the memory of his prone form, the utter lack of horror that had risen at the lack of knowledge on returning a starseed…just literally the whole thing. Never again did he want to repeat this. But…deep down he knew he would.he'd do it all again if it meant saving his boy.
He stayed there, face pressed into those black locks, listening as Faustite offered him placating words for calming. Funny how the tables had turned and Helio was the one needing reassurance. Those words with arms wrapped tight around him eased the panic until it was a mere echo of itself. That vice-like grip on his heart had eased into something more tolerable.
He laughed softly as he rotated his head to press his forehead against Faustite's head. “It would be very much appreciated.” He said as he loosened a breath.
How much time passed, the corrupt didn't know, but he let Lex ground him. Eventually though, his mind turned back to the main purpose of the whole traumatizing procedure. “It’s different.” He remarked as he pulled his head from its resting spot one the General. “Your starseed has a mineral growth on it that's…well, it's beautiful if a bit unusual.”
Slowly he removed himself from Alex's lap, well aware now that he may have been putting those smaller legs to sleep with his weight. He didn't move far though as he grabbed the phone that had been practically thrown back to the desk in his haste to return the starseed to its owner. “The glow within is as I remember, bright and orange like a flame. Nothing that I saw looked…” he paused trying to think of the right word because corrupted wasn't a proper adjective considering their affiliation. “Troublesome.” Not perfect but it would do. “The mineral growth is impressive though and I'd be curious to know if it's normal of half-youma.” He passed his phone to Lex, well aware the boy knew his password at this point considering he'd often pass the device for Lex to use.
“I took a few photos. Hopefully they are clear enough.” With how much he was shaking it was a gamble, but that was also why he'd taken near a dozen in quick succession.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 6:01 pm
When Heliodor shifted away, Faustite sat up straighter and uncrossed his legs. He coughed, too, but lightly — suspicious, but he wouldn't question it if it gave his lungs a break. When Heliodor returned, Faustite was content to encircle the boy's waist loosely, mildly disinterested in the topic at hand.
Heliodor's appraisal of his starseed was good enough for him; he didn't need to see photos of a thing that he could never look at while awake, nor did he feel the need to reach into his own chest and feel the damned thing up for any strange deviations from a normal starseed. That Heliodor took photos was a comfort for the boy having something to which he could compare the starseed as time wore on.
But the boy had to spoil his ignorance. He wasn't sure how he felt about his starseed being different and somehow captivating to the boy — it wasn't like a trinket that Faustite could give away, or that Heliodor could set on his desk like an office-warming curio — but he was certain he didn't want to look at it. Couldn't say why, either, though he suspected it might be that a warped soul would confirm that he was perpetually different than everyone else. That he was somehow defective, or stained from all the choices he made to this point, if chivalry or morality had any tie to the look of one's starseed. It was always a strange, nonsensical worry for him.
Try as he might, however, he couldn't shake the thought. Even if the worst were true, Helio still loved him. Albite would, too, he expected. He doubted that the others would see him any differently.
"Don't know that anyone regularly starseeds half-youma, but if I find someone, I'll forward you their contact information," he said dryly. Faustite resettled against Heliodor's shoulder with his cheek.
Until the phone was offered to him. He looked at it, then at Heliodor with an incredulous have you been reading the room stare. Then he looked at the phone again, wondering if he'd have the nerves to look at whatever constituted his mineral growth-ridden starseed. Freeing up a hand, he took the proffered phone, lips pressing into a ******** it. Might as well make this whole situation worse.
Faustite keyed in the passcode with the pads of his fingers, opening Heliodor's phone to the last used application. The time-delayed echo of Heliodor's lap was displayed on the screen until he touched recent pictures. The last photo was a blurry, incomprehensible mess, likely taken by accident as Heliodor hurriedly set the phone down. Faustite swiped right and —
There it was, the damned thing. Looked like some kind of awful. Looked like it should hurt sitting in his chest. He wondered: if he died, could that starseed even float out of his chest? Would it ever make its way up into the sky, like the others?
He paged through the photos with increasing speed as he examined the different angles. Heliodor was right that there was some kind of growth off the side, like a thousand splintered fragments of a Rift crystal frozen in time. Finally, he handed the phone back to its owner.
"If I die, do me a favor and stomp on it."
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 6:08 pm
Faustite had made it clear he didn’t want to see his own starseed, but Helio knew with his boy there was a fine line between want and need. Offering him up the phone unlocked was his way of letting Faustite make that choice himself when presented with the opportunity of being a mere few taps away from seeing.
Helio took the phone back when offered and placed it back on the desk where it would lay forgotten for the time being.
Helio frowned at the dry remark. “I didn’t mean it in anyway beyond trying to understand you and any other half-youma. There’s so little information and I worry that our lack of knowledge could cause harm to you or any of our other half-youma members.” He frowned a bit at himself, realizing that perhaps this all came across as callous. It hadn’t been his intent. In fact, it was anything but considering the amount of anxiety and worry that was building for his boy.
Taking up space at Faustite’s feet, Helio sat himself down there, legs criss crossed in front of him as he leaned forward, placing hands on one of those more delicate knees to gently rest his head on. “I love you.” He said softly. “I just want the best for you which includes you being sound and whole.
“And as much as I don’t even want to think about you ever dying since I’ve had my fair share of it now, but if that’s what you really honestly want…” Helio didn’t like it though. Not one bit and it showed in his eyes, but he’d be damned if he wouldn’t carry out a final wish. “It’s a promise.”
A part of him hoped beyond hope that the glorious, lopsided starseed would ascend itself before he would ever have the chance.
“I don’t think this is the answer to our problem, though.” He remarked gently. It was his own, uneducated observation, but the starseed didn’t appear to be a root cause of whatever illness was wrecking through the General. Odd though it was with it’s abnormal shape and growth, it otherwise appeared sound and whole. “Wish I could just take whatever is making you sick from you. Make you better.” He placed a kiss on the knee he rested upon.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 6:11 pm
Heliodor was right, which was its own blow for being another dead-end. Checking his starseed was but one of few unexplored avenues, with the rest being just as unsavory to him as having his starseed pulled. Much as he detested the idea of throwing himself into a lake, he might have to try Bloodstone's idea and hope for the best. He'd have to see what could come from the crucible, if he could even fit into it. Beyond that, Faustite doubted there was anything else left unexplored. He'd already met with Axinite, with Taenite, with Bloodstone, with Leifite. He'd already mined what he knew of his own constitution. Already asked about another surgery.
Faustite sighed into a few coughs as he laid his hands atop Heliodor's. "Glad you can't," he offered gently. "Wouldn't wish this on you."
It was gruesome to call it an advantage, but Faustite had burned for years before this strange sickness took hold. He'd grown used to the constant pain, the parched burn that chased up his throat. His nerves had dulled enough that it no longer felt as debilitating as it did. To put that on someone else — would they not die from the overwhelming pain? If he was to inflict that on someone, it would be the White Moon.
"Has to be something else to try. Can't give up yet." Faustite stood, and pulled his boy to his feet in the process. "Let's find somewhere to eat. Take our minds off it for a while," he suggested, gently swinging their arms side to side.
It would be a much-needed reprieve, and an afforded time to mourn another dead end. Then, when they were ready, they would once more look into the options he had left. One of them, he hoped — desperately so — would hold the answer he so sorely needed.
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