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 Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 6:21 pm
There was a lot of information and opinions to sort through and unpack. She already felt as though her voice was getting a bit raspy from using it so much already, but there were so many things Rhiannon was thinking and wondering and questioning.
She knew Talia cared. A lot. She wanted people she knew to be safe and happy. She wanted to bake them cookies and hold their hands. She wanted to save everyone despite the very real impossibility of that.
“It might be better to ask Cosmos those questions,” Rhiannon admitted, leaning her temple against the seat so she could look at Talia. “I can’t claim to know all the answers, and would feel horrible if I said something to mislead you. But… no, you’re right. I imagine those starseeds the Negaverse collects don’t always make it back to the Cauldron.”
She paused for a moment, thinking silently over everything, and then frowned with concern to herself before her eyes raised to meet Talia’s again.
“Do you think Cosmos would really keep that power to herself, if she had it to give? If she had the ability to make every Senshi and Knight capable of purifying others, would she really not help? I think people have gotten too reliant on her. They expect her as the deus ex machina to show up in the nick of time, or treat her like some divine figure, but… I think in the grand scale of things…” she paused again, because she didn’t want to hurt Talia’s feelings when she was already obviously upset, but Rhiannon had promised her she would not sugar coat. It was a disservice to Talia. To Malcolm. To all of their other friends and family.
“Yes, the Cauldron is more important than us on Earth, right now. We’re so small and will only live a fraction of the time Cosmos has already. There are… how many people on Earth now…? Over eight billion? Eight billion starseeds on Earth. But Talia… there are Senshi for stars and planets. Comets, asteroids. Moons. Our galaxy alone has hundreds of billions of stars. Not including planets or asteroids or anything like that. If those hundreds of billions of Senshi are waiting to be reborn -- maybe even taking time to heal in the Cauldron…
“I think we see Earth and everyone in it as trees that grow so tall and beautiful. But Cosmos sees the forest as a whole, burning and being cut down for resources. The Cauldron is more important than Earth. And every single person living here now. We’ll die. We’ll be replaced. If the Negaverse wins, then those reborn later will get another chance. Maybe they’ll be able to organize and fight back better than any of us can now. But only if the Cauldron continues to exist and survive.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 6:22 pm
“It’s…more important to her…I can agree that, and I understand…I just. Can’t agree with it personally. It’s. Something I can’t fathom, and honestly? I’m glad I can’t fathom it. It’s too much to think about, but…I know that I’m going to find some other way to help those on Earth, without putting all of my hopes in Cosmos. I…Obviously these are new thoughts…but I want to see if maybe…maybe we can do more as a Court. I mean. We did something that Evan and Malcolm didn't recognize, so maybe there’s more untapped potential there…we can just work on finding it!”
That’s what it all really boiled down to…finding a way to take care of themselves and not bother Cosmos any longer. It…was something that she honestly wanted.
More than she could say. “The Cauldron will exist and survive, but I will make sure that we do too. And I hope that you’ll work with me, Rhi. And the others but…I can’t tell them my big, hastily made plans when they’re not here, so…”
Talia picked up a spring roll and took a bite, appetite restored. Mostly.
So you have to just deal with me being crazy, I guess. Thank you for talking this out with me.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 6:49 pm
“Talia,” Rhiannon said, cutting her off because it sounded like Talia was done with the conversation when Rhiannon wasn’t. She reached over to grab hold of Talia’s hand not holding the spring roll.
“If you want to work as a court, stop saying you are going to do everything. If you want me to work with you, if you want the others to work with you, let us work with you. If you want this to be a team effort, it can’t just be your plans because we will have to follow through with them.”
And if those plans ended with Talia or any of the others hurt or worse, Rhiannon would not support it, and would want to work to figure out an alternative.
“You push so hard to do everything by yourself… Do you feel like you’re pushing yourself because you’re trying to make up for being taken by the Negaverse or…? I don’t know. I don’t know you as well as I would like to, if you’ll let me.”
But there was something else that was bothering her. Talia said that Cosmos wouldn’t show up if the Cauldron needed her. And she didn’t show up when people tried calling for her when the Velencians arrived.
“What did Cosmos say prevented her from meeting you before? Why did she not come when the others called for her? I don’t think we should put all our hopes in Cosmos, no… But I think we should do everything we can to help support her, as she’s done for us, when she was able. If she does need help…”
There was a sinking feeling in Rhiannon’s chest. Something Paris told her when they caught up on everything they’d missed out on over the years of Rhiannon hiding her identity from her.
How the Surrounding was broken, and there were worse things out there.
How they had no idea what was out there.
And if Cosmos was prevented from visiting those in need on Earth, when Rhiannon had never heard of Cosmos ignoring a call for help before...
“I have a feeling we’ll need to figure out what we did with the others in the Court quickly...” And hopefully others would join together as well. They might have something bigger than the Negaverse to worry about.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 6:55 pm
Talia paused and glanced away. “...I mean, yeah. Being taken screwed up so many things for a lot of people. I. I lost me. Everything I was. I. I’m trying really hard not to compare myself to who I was, who I don’t remember, but I need to be her. I need to be as strong as she was. I hate what happened to me, and I don’t know what else to do but keep trying to plow forward, because sometimes. I just want to lay down and cry and just not get up, and I can’t do that. So. I keep pushing. As hard as I can. I have a lot to make up for. I didn’t save Ganymede. I didn’t help her. And I’ve been told that that was an absolute s**t thing to do, and…”
Her breaths were coming more and more quickly, and again, for a moment she wished she hadn’t eaten quite so many wantons and hadn’t taken this last spring roll.
“I have so much to make up for, Rhi. And no, she didn’t say. She just said that her priority is the Cauldron and she comes when she can. And if something was happening at the Cauldron she can’t. I got no real answers from her, and that sucks too. It. She just made me feel like I was making another mistake in asking. In trying to find answers to why this happened and…I just.”
Her eyes spilled over and Talia shook her head. “I hate this. I hate everything that’s happened. I hate what they made me into, and that that’s the only memories I have. I hate not knowing things. I just. I need to be better and I just don’t know how. What if something happens to you because I wasn’t strong enough? What if Evan turns into a youma again? What if Adria dies? He died for me too, you know…he. I couldn’t save him. I think he died, I don’t know…I…my magic wasn’t working. Evan was a youma, my magic wasn’t working for him…god, what if they get Zac again? What if they get Evan and me and Zac and you and Malcolm? What if I lose everything again?”
She let out a loud sob and curled into herself, trembling slightly. “...And all of this because Cosmos didn’t come. I was strong before, so they say. I was their rock. I kept things together. Now I can’t. I can’t even keep me together.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 6:57 pm
“Evan and Malcolm said they’d never done anything like we did on Alastor before. That wasn’t done because the old Talia was there. I’m sorry -- no, I’m not sorry, actually. I never met who you were before, and I don’t care about her. She’s nothing to me. But I know she’s everything to you, and I wish you could see that she doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to be bound by whoever you were in a past life -- because that’s what it is. A past life.”
Rhiannon hadn’t lost her memories, but she did leave everything she had. Talia didn’t need to know that she’d slept for almost a year in an old beat up truck before her Auntie moved back to the city and took her in. Talia didn’t need to know how worthless she felt every day of her life for so long.
“A house isn’t built on a single rock, Talia. It needs a foundation. Let us be a foundation with you. You want a Court? You want to make sure we don’t need to rely on Cosmos? Fine. We can team up with whatever Royal Senshi or Knights we can find. We can kick a** with our magic together like on Alastor. We are stronger together. I might be weaker than the rest of you, but I’ve been a Senshi for ten years now. I prioritized my studies over being a Senshi because I only had myself. But now I have you. And I have Malcolm. And the others, if they want me. But if we’re going up against Cosmos -- if we’re making sure we don’t need her, you can’t be selfish by thinking everything is up to you, or your fault if things don’t work out. It won’t be fair to everyone else who is fighting on your side, Lia.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 6:57 pm
“It’s…hard.” Talia’s voice was quiet now, smaller than it had been before. “I just. Want to be the best me, I know we’re stronger together…I like all of that. I want you to be my foundation…that. Sounds really nice, honestly.” Rubbing the heels of her palms into her eyes, she gave a weak, watery snort. “...I just love you guys so much…I’m so scared of something happening to you because of me. Because I’m not good enough. Because of something I did or didn’t do…you guys are all I have, and I can’t…”
Talia took hold of Rhiannon’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “I need you, but I need…to learn how to…need you? Is…that what you’re trying to say?”
She licked her lips, wishing that there was something to drink, but…she could guzzle some water back at home. “...I think that’s the first time someone’s given me a nickname…I like it. But…I don’t know…Tally kind of sounds cute too. What do you think?”
Rhiannon didn’t want to know Cambria. Was happy to just know Talia...that.
That brought a warmth into her chest that she wasn’t sure quite what to do with.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 6:59 pm
Rhiannon shook her head, but she gave Talia a small smile of reassurance.
“I’m not your foundation,” she gently corrected, and then she lifted her hand to place over her chest first, and then reached over to place over Talia’s beating heart as well. “We are the foundation. Together. With the rest of the Court. The only way we can get stronger is together.”
She let Talia take her hand, but with the one she’d placed over her chest she reached up to gently pull Talia’s hands away from her face before she could hurt herself, and softly wiped the tears away herself.
“But yes. You do need to learn how to need us. To need me. We’re not collectables for you to treasure and protect. We’re here to stand beside you, just like you would stand beside the rest of us. And… Tally is cute if you’re sounding a battle charge,” Rhiannon smiled, but she wasn’t entirely serious about it.
“I think Lia suits you. But if you don’t like it, I won’t call you that,” she promised. “It’s gentle, like you.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 7:00 pm
“No, maybe not…but you’re the first person that I’ve gotten close to that knows me for me…and likes me for me and…and wants me for me…so maybe you’re the first stone in my foundation. If that’s all right with you, but. Lia sounds good. I like Lia too…I like the idea of a nickname. It…It makes me feel real…”
Which sounded stupid but.
“Like Talia’s real. Not just some. Shadow Cambria or…something. Like. I’m me...and that’s okay.”
Even if it wasn’t okay. It would be.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 7:01 pm
“And you’ll never have to worry about me comparing you to someone I never knew,” she promised, pushing some of the loose hair around Talia’s face back behind her ears, before leaning back in her seat.
“We’ll all have to support each other, otherwise the structure will crumble, okay? That means if you’re feeling unsure of yourself, let us help you. I don’t know the others very well, but I know Malcolm cares about you a lot. No more holding the burden by yourself, otherwise I’ll be pretty upset about being useless to you.”
And she was sure the others would be upset as well, if they knew Talia was doing so much on her own. It wasn’t a Court if they didn’t work together. They were only able to make their magic work because they were together.
“We’ll be okay. We’ll make our lives matter, no matter what it means in the grand scheme of things, okay? And we’ll help whoever we can, with or without Cosmos. Okay, Lia? Because you are real, and you are strong and you can be the best person you’ve ever been. Maybe Talia is the real you that you’ve been trying to reach. You’re able to start fresh and make you who you want to be. No strings attached. The past matters, but it doesn’t define who you are.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 7:01 pm
“You’re far from useless to me, Rhiannon. Nobody in the court is useless to me.” She took a moment the draw in a long, deep breath and then leaned over, careful of the food and twisted, pecking the blonde’s lips lightly and scooting back to her own seat.
“Maybe she is the real me that had to come out. Maybe…this was just another lesson to learn or something cliche like that. Maybe it was steps that had to happen for us to meet. Who knows.”
Looking at it like that…like this was just another step on whatever path she was on…it…
Didn’t make it sound so bad. Kind of. “Real talk though, I would love a ride home, I mean I could walk, but I’m already comfy in the truck here…and I’ll buy you noodles if you want them, I did promise but…I think I’m going to rain check getting myself some. I’m. Tired.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 7:02 pm
Rhiannon’s lips twitched upwards into a small smile when Talia kissed her, and while it was short, she kissed her back all the same.
“That’s nice to think,” she hummed thoughtfully. That it was just steps on the path for them to end up meeting. Maybe that was the case.
Her eyes narrowed just slightly at the real talk, and while her expression was fond, because she knew Talia had been through a lot, Rhiannon figured she had her work cut out for her.
She may be a Super Senshi, but good gracious, if this whole court didn’t need help…
“You get a pass this time, but next time I would like a please and thank you,” she requested, reaching over to dry whatever tears were left on Talia’s cheeks before lowering her legs from the seat and pulling it closer to the steering wheel again.
“I will always say yes as long as I get a please. Otherwise, it’ll be a no,” she smiled. “‘Rhiannon, my dear, beautiful friend, if it’s not out of your way could you please drive me home?’ ‘Of course, my fairest Lia, it would be my pleasure,’” she gently teased.
If they were going to support each other, then they needed to make sure they understood each other.
“Come on, let’s get you home and in bed.”
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