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 Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 5:20 pm
He looked wildly around at the shadows around him as they echoed back. As they whispered their laughter. Sessrumnir grit his teeth and tried pulling his wrist free again --
And then the feel of an aura appeared.
“You’re not Alastor, let me go,” he growled, his free hand reaching to shove the illusion away from him as he tugged harder to free his wrist. Even without the energy signature, the change in demeanor was enough for him to know for certain.
He shoved at him harder, trying to break free so he could get back under the water and through the opening. He should have known something was off. Alastor wouldn’t have given up that easily. The water had to be going somewhere.
“I’ll take my chances in the water.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 5:54 pm
Sessrumnir’s struggling might have been effective, or maybe the Chaos had its fill of this form. It released Sessrumnir, but the water grabbed at the Knight and dragged him under almost immediately. The shadows shoved him into the water with such force that his back hit the bottom of the cave.
The water rushed so quickly, it wasn’t long before he was smashing into something.
Something warm. Soft.
Someone hooked under his arms and pulled him up, and then when he was back on his feet, hands, gentle on his shoulders, supported him at his back as the water slammed into them.
The light from the ring was dim, but it was more than enough to illuminate Percy’s worried face. The shadows seemed unkind against his form, but he looked like he was trying to help Sessrumnir up. He was not as tall, not as built, but there was a strength in him. He wasn’t powered up, and he looked focused.
For a split second, it looked like he was in awe of Sessrumnir’s outfit. The light of the ring caught his eyes, misty already but maybe it was just because he seemed soaked, too.
Pale. Translucent, almost.
His voice was soft, but it pierced through the thunder, the water, the echoes.
“You need to go.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 6:05 pm
Once again he was pulled under the water. And once again he coughed and sputtered and gasped for breath.
He knew it was the Chaos messing with him now. He’d seen the way it took Percy’s form before, and how Alastor had to cast it into the Core to destroy it.
Sessrumnir would destroy it in this form too, if he had to.
“Don’t wear his face and tell me what I need to do,” he growled again, stumbling away from the slighter young man, as he tried to get a better hold on the wall. He needed to follow the current. He couldn’t afford to keep getting pulled under and jerked around by Chaos.
“Using Percy’s tears and kindness on Alastor might have worked, but it won’t for me.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 6:13 pm
The water was still pulling him towards the small passageway Alastor had disappeared into a minute–a few minutes ago. The Chaos grabbed at him, almost mockingly plucking at his outfit or trying to trip him as he walked.
But Percy stood, with his sweet, angelic face, and his worried eyes, and his slightly pouting lips.
“Why? I’m not trying to hurt you. I could save you. You don’t have to die.”
Percy watched him carefully, but there was something about his would-be innocent expression that was just piercing.
He was looking at Sessrumnir. He was looking through Sessrumnir.
“It’s not too late to get out before he kills you, too.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 6:27 pm
Sessrumnir let out a little bark of a laugh. He didn’t know why he was wasting time with this. He needed to get to Alastor as quickly as possible.
“Are you talking about the people he killed, either because he was being controlled or had no other choice? Or are you talking about him killing you, just because he couldn’t save you? I know what happened. You-- Percy was hurt and died. Don’t try to make me believe something I already know the truth about,” he sneered and once again tried making his way closer to the opening.
“And I’m not going to die.”
He was not going to let the way the Chaos made it so eerie, like maybe there was something more that he didn’t know.
But he couldn’t afford to stay and chat with it. For all he knew, Alastor was having trouble with his own Chaos.
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 6:30 pm
Percy was unflinching. His eyes narrowed a little, almost as if he meant to challenge Sessrumnir.
He let Sessrumnir walk past him, watched as he got closer to the tunnel into the next room.
“I’m talking about me, Michael. I didn’t die because he couldn’t save me. I died because he killed me. And you’d know it if you stopped to think about it. Maybe you don’t remember now, but it’ll come back to you if you let it. You don’t have to believe me. But you shouldn’t believe him. Ask him what flavor my tea was.”
Percy disappeared from behind Sessrumnir and manifested, just as ghostly, right next to him.
“Ask him how long it took me to die. Ask him what he’ll do to you once he realizes you’re too much for him to handle.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 6:37 pm
Sessrumnir squeezed his eyes shut, as if that was going to be enough to ignore the manifestation. He had to get to Alastor. Had to help him. He could have been in grave peril -- could be drowning, or with an actual head wound.
And yet, Sessrumnir felt himself freeze, his heart seizing at the thought of --
No, Devyn wouldn’t kill him. He would just… leave.
But he couldn’t imagine Devyn killing Percy, either.
“He loved you. Still loves you-- Still loves Percy,” he said through gritted teeth, his hands balled into fists as he reminded himself that this was the Chaos speaking. Percy wasn’t even trying to stop him. Not really. So why wasn’t he ignoring him and moving forward?
His heart was racing, and the all too familiar inkling of self doubt and self hate filling his thoughts.
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 6:47 pm
“Loves me enough to forget me?”
Percy stayed still, unmoved by the water. The shadows almost seemed kind for a moment; something manifested a few feet away from Sessrumnir, and the waters parted around it. The force crashing into him lessened somewhat as the water was rerouted away from him.
“I think he did love me, once. I think he liked himself more when someone loved him. But he wasn’t made to love, Michael. He was made to kill. And you’re so desperate for someone to see you that you ignored every warning light in your head.”
Percy’s face was not sympathetic. His voice was firm, but not unkind.
“He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t mourn me. He mourns the version of him that died when I did, because he couldn’t tell himself he was a good person after that. You know. If you think deeply enough, you will know. I died on Alastor. I’m buried here. By the Hall. you saw the tree. He couldn’t even take me home. My family never got to say goodbye.”
There was a wetness in his eyes, like he had a millennia of unspilled grief that was finally breaking free.
Like a dam in a storm.
Thunder rumbled again, but this time it didn’t seem so threatening.
“Just leave, Michael. Please. You can do better. You’re lying to yourself like I lied to myself, and he is going to kill you. If you survive this, it’s only a matter of time. In another thousand years, you’ll be a tree in the backyard, just like me. But you can get out, now. Leave him to his fate. Take me home.”
Percy reached out; his fingers lightly rested on Sessrumnir’s arm.
“No one else has to get hurt. You can save them, too. Before he can sacrifice them, too.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 7:21 pm
The water calming around him was curious. Sessrumnir didn’t miss the way the false Percy spoke to him, and looked at him with such concern -- with warning and gentleness.
If what it was saying was true…
Maybe Sessrumnir was desperate. Hadn’t that been his fault before? He was desperate for some goodness in his life. For someone who might actually see him for him, and give him a chance, and just share a life with. Even if it wasn’t romantic. Michael was okay with just being friends. For the most part.
Percy had his fingers on his arm. Take me home, he said. With the water calmed, it would be relatively easy to focus on Sessrumnir. To return to the Wonder where Percy would have lived -- a Wonder that connected to his brother’s as well.
His dad never got to say goodbye, either. And all they did was watch in the hall as his starseed was ripped from his body.
Michael’s heart ached. It beat ferociously in his chest. He reached up to grab the orb that rested around his neck to help calm himself --
But it wasn’t there.
It had been broken off and he had nothing. Except for the ring on his finger that Alastor entrusted him with.
“I know what you’re doing,” Sessrumnir said, quietly enough but over the sound of the rushing water. “I know you’re trying to get in my head. Even if some of what you said is true, you’re wrong about all the things that matter. Devyn can love. Unconditionally. I’ve seen it first hand.”
Devyn was so kind and gentle with Atticus. He was a good dad, even if he didn’t really know what he was doing. And Atticus obviously adored him.
“I can’t leave, and I know that you know that. Even if it wasn’t for Devyn, I have too many people I care about here. Fighting you, and whatever form they are being tortured by.”
The despair and grief was thick in the air and in his heart, but there was one thing Michael knew for certain.
“He still loves you-- still loves Percy, with all of his heart. Grief does… strange things to people. Forgetting Percy was dead was probably the only way he could have coped for so long. And if he kills me…” Michael shrugged, a little hesitantly, but he’d just almost followed the form of Alastor out of the cave. It wasn’t until the energy signature fluctuated that he knew it was fake.
“I won’t leave him. I love him.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 7:33 pm
Percy looked at him for a long moment, like he was torn between what he wanted to say and what he should say. His brows furrowed slightly, and he looked like a scholar, a lover, an artist, with a thousand thoughts rushing through his mind.
A life cut too short. Snuffed out before he’d ever had the chance to live.
Too many bad experiences crammed into too few years.
It seemed to be listening to Sessrumnir. Seemed to care.
It would have been hard to decipher it even if Sessrumnir wasn't in a dark, crumbling, flooding cave.
“That’s a shame. Because, either you believe that he never loved me, or you believe that he’ll never love you. You can’t have it both ways, Michael.”
He rubbed up Sessrumnir’s arm, as if he were trying to reassure him.
“And if you don’t want to listen to me, you get to leave this cave knowing you’ll never be good enough for him. He’ll never see you as an equal. Don’t think you’re anything more than a tool, and he’s been using you since the moment he met you. You think you live a thousand years without being devious? Without being willing to step on everyone on your way up? You’re not so foolish, Michael. The signs have always been there. You’re just so miserable that you’ll take any bottom of the barrel scum that treats you like you matter. You deserve better.”
His hand rested on Sessrumnir’s chest, just over his starseed.
“I deserve better.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 7:37 pm
Sessrumnir wasn’t sure how accurate Chaos was being with Percy’s personality, but if it was being at least somewhat true to who Percy was, he thought he could understand why Devyn loved him.
He had a gentle kindness that Devyn would have appreciated -- needed. Especially if he was dealing with people who wanted him to die all the time.
“You’re being unkind to Percy’s memory if you think I believe he ever thought Devyn wasn’t everything he deserved and more,” Sessrumnir said, not unkind as he looked at the figure of Percy in front of him, half way in the temporarily calmed water of that cave.
He reached up to place his hand over Percy’s on his chest.
“If that’s really the only choice… If he could only have loved Percy, or love me, then I’m okay if he never loves me,” he said after a moment. “If I’m never good enough for him, and if he’ll never see me as an equal… or if he only sees me for being the next person with Percy’s starseed…”
Again, Sessrumnir shrugged. He didn’t feel like Devyn had been using him since the moment they met, but even if he had, that was no one’s fault but his own.
“Percy is Devyn’s strength, even in death. Now let me go.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 7:45 pm
Percy watched him for a moment. His fingers curled around Sessrumnir’s hand.
“You’re a liar, Michael.”
There was still something kind in his voice, though. “You’re not okay with that. That’s still poison in your heart, only it’ll kill you slowly, and it will hurt. Until the very end.”
He raised his hand to Sessrumnir’s cheek and let his fingers ghost across the scars.
“How many wars do you have to fight before it’s enough? Alastor is going to die. You don’t have to be here to see it. You don’t have to put yourself through that again. Go home, Michael. You’re allowed to save yourself.”
And, Sessrumnir would have to.
Something loud cracked above him, but there were only seconds before part of the ceiling caved in above him. A fresh flood of water and rocks came collapsing down–right on top of him.
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2022 7:56 pm
His heart clenched painfully tight. He didn’t think it was fair that someone he’d never met was digging so deep into him.
Although if he was being honest, he would admit that if anyone knew him, it would be the one he shared his starseed with.
But how much of this was from his own emotions and heart, and how much was from Chaos, trying to manipulate him? Or maybe it knew that just being told the truth was enough…?
There wasn’t any time for him to respond, and again, if he was actually thinking and not being lured by the sweetness of this fake Percy, he would have ignored it sooner. He pulled himself away as the ceiling began to cave in, barely able to throw an arm over his head to protect himself, and dove into the water towards the passage Alastor had taken minutes prior.
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