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 Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2022 1:27 pm
Vyn almost felt guilty. It seemed, every time he met with the Commodore, he required reassurances. Often, his confidence deserted him. It was an area he would have to work on, even if, thus far, he didn’t think it had proven detrimental. Vyn valued the Commodore’s opinion, and he wanted to prove — to himself more than anyone else — that the Commodore was not wrong to place so much trust in him.
That his friends thought highly of him, too, yet they each clearly had their own self-doubt… Vyn wondered how common such a thing must be. He wondered if it was simply who they were, or if they would have felt similarly if they were home on Velencya, and their rise through the ranks had seemed more routine. Certainly their mission carried a lot of weight. It had not been easy for any of them.
“Thank you, Sir,” Vyn said, with obvious warmth.
If he understood the human expression correctly, he felt a bit like a broken record. He was aware of the repeated thanks, but the Commodore had such a way with words, and his assurances were often so candid, that Vyn could not think of any other way to respond. Even this simple show of appreciation seemed inadequate in comparison.
It was not the the first time he had thought so, and it would probably not be the last.
Vyn finished his first pastry, savoring the taste of home, then, when he was sure his hands were free of crumbs, he took one of Aliez’s hands, and one of Andreiya’s, giving them both a supportive squeeze.
“And thank you both for your kindness and support, and your belief in me,” he said to them, offering them a heartfelt smile. To the Commodore, he added, “I think I speak for all three of us when I say we will continue to do all we can for the Vanguard, and our people, and each other.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2022 1:47 pm
Trusting the Commodore had been… not necessarily easy sometimes, but he knew it was what they should do. He’d never let them down before. Even on the Hilltop, the Commodore was able to protect them, despite his own injuries.
Aliez trusted the Commodore because he knew, without a doubt, that the Commodore was their best hope for the future. And Aliez didn’t want to let him down.
He tried willing himself to get over his insecurities. He didn’t want to seem like he wasn’t listening to the Commodore, and he did appreciate his friends’ thoughts in how they valued him. So why did he still feel so horrible?
Vyn had taken his hand, and Andreiya’s as well. He swallowed the blood in his mouth and lowered what was left of the pastry to his lap, because he knew what was going to come next.
His anxiety flared for a moment, suddenly wishing he was sitting in the middle. The thought of taking hold of the Commodore’s hand when they were still so far away from completing their mission made him wonder if the Commodore could look into his heart and see how much he doubted himself.
In the end, he held out his hand, but kept his head down and nodded along with Vyn.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2022 2:53 pm
Andreiya was glad that Vyn could speak for them, because he felt his heart fluttering with uncertainty and worry. He was excited! Of course he wanted to be given the strength to keep his friends safe, but naturally it came with the worry that he might mess up. He might have an emotional outburst. He might disappoint the Commodore, but–
He made it sound like mistakes weren’t the end of the world. He made it sound like even in failure, there was something to grow from. It was less intimidating, and more, because there was a safety net if he didn’t succeed, but he wanted to, so badly.
He squeezed Vyn’s hand and murmured a soft word of thanks before he forgot how to talk, forgot how to breathe. He just hoped he wasn’t holding Vyn’s hand too tightly.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2022 2:55 pm
Lyndin watched the three for a moment and then offered a soft, reassuring smile. “You’ve earned it,” he assured, and moved from his seat. It took very little for him to move the coffee table back and make a little space so he could kneel in front of the three. Maybe, because he wanted to make sure Aliez could see him even if he was keeping his head down. He took Andreiya’s hand. He took Aliez’s. He squeezed it, because he might not have been able to see into Aliez’ heart but he could see that he was carrying a lot in his heart. “You know that if you need to talk, I will always be here,” he said, and he meant it. There was no false honey in his words; he cared about the Vanguard. He cared about them. He needed them if they were going to succeed. “I know you’ll do your best. And I’ll do my best. We’ll work together. Just take care of each other.” The energy flowed through him, in the same way it did before. The only difference now was that he knelt on the ground as he shared his power. Velencya was a part of him as much as it was them, and just as they had impressed him, they had impressed their world, too. The promotion was comforting–warm, and reassuring, if they let it be. It took no energy from Lyndin, but he stayed where he was, and didn’t drop their hands-even after the energy passed through the three of them, passed into them.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2022 9:31 pm
Vyn almost insisted that the Commodore should not feel the need to kneel, but the Commodore clearly took no issue with it, so it seemed like a silly thing to fret over.
He could sense Aliez’s sadness, and his doubts. He could sense Andreiya’s uncertainty. Vyn could blame neither of them for it; he felt similarly far too often. The promotion to Commander was another weight, another responsibility, one Vyn wondered if he had the strength to carry effectively.
But he had to try. He would try. He would give it everything he had, and hope it was enough — and if it wasn’t, he knew his friends would be there to help him, just as he would be there for them. Vyn gave their hands another reassuring squeeze.
The Commodore believed in them. Vyn believed in the Commodore. He believed in his friends. He believed in their people.
Again, like last time, Vyn was filled with the feeling of home. It was not as overwhelming as he imagined, perhaps because he knew he wasn’t alone. The power felt welcoming, easing his doubts, soothing his nerves, and though he longed for his true home, for a moment, this was enough. He savored the feeling like he’d savored the pastry, letting it sustain him.
When it was done, Vyn released Aliez and Andreiya so he could lean off of the couch and claim a hug from the Commodore. A part of him felt guilty for it — for taking one when he wanted one rather than asking for permission, but he couldn’t help himself. He kept it quick, just a brief squeeze, enough to demonstrate his appreciation, to pass some comfort, reassurance, and affection along, before he released the Commodore and did the same for his friends.
He hugged Andreiya. He hugged Aliez, then put a hand to Aliez’s shoulder and said, quietly encouraging, “You should talk to him. You’ll feel better. I did. Andreiya and I can give you some privacy.”
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2022 10:39 pm
Aliez’s breath caught in his throat when the Commodore kneeled in front of them. He was tempted to try and get him to stand back up, or maybe they should get down on the ground as well. It wasn’t right for the Commodore to feel like he had to kneel, and Aliez couldn’t help but wonder if that was his fault.
Oh… but once again, he was making it about himself. He should be celebrating his friends for their accomplishments, but the first thing he thought of was how he’d inconvenienced the Commodore.
He held the Commodore’s hand. He held Vyn’s hand. The energy that the Commodore shared with them washed over him, through him. He was proud of Vyn and Andreiya. He could feel the comforting warmth of the energy they shared from Velencya itself.
For a few moments, he did feel at peace.
And then Vyn pulled his hand away so he could lean forward to hug the Commodore. It only seemed fair to let go of the Commodore’s hand then, to give him the chance to hug Vyn back.
Then Vyn hugged Andreiya. Then him.
He tasted blood in his mouth again. He hadn’t bitten down on purpose, but he’d already torn up the inside of his mouth with his worrying. He didn’t want to tell Vyn that he didn’t know what he would say to the Commodore. He’d already apologized for his behavior at the meeting. Decided he wouldn’t let it happen again and that he would just not speak. The Commodore had impressed on him that he could talk to him any time he needed to, just like he did now.
But Aliez had nothing to say. Sitting there silently would be a waste of the Commodore’s time.
He didn’t want to upset Vyn, so he nodded. He would just thank the Commodore for the promotion and take his time getting back to the house if that was what it took.
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2022 7:14 pm
The promotion to Commander filled Andreiya with hope and worry and pride and–
He felt a little lost. Grounded, and in good company with his friends, and hopeful for the future, even if there was no path yet for them to follow. He missed home, maybe now more than ever, but he wanted to do better on Earth so they could return with their heads held high.
Aliez deserved this. Vyn deserved this. Of that, he had no doubt. And, even if he doubted himself, he couldn’t doubt the Commodore. Who had brought them into all of this together.
But, he’d noticed that something seemed a bit off about Aliez, and when Vyn suggested that they take their leave to give him and the Commodore a moment alone–
He didn’t feel bad about it.
It seemed like a good idea, and Aliez had agreed to it.
Andreiya glanced at Vyn and then stood slowly. He thanked the Commodore once more before he squeezed Aliez’s shoulder in silent support.
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