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 Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 6:38 pm
“You’re not the ones making me uncomfortable,” Michael promised, and he let out a breath and reached up to touch the orb at his neck to make sure everything was okay. He knew it was okay. He would have already felt it if something wasn’t, but it was comforting to double check. Maybe to ground himself a little.
“Have I ever told you about Riley?” he asked after a few moments, obviously debating if it was worth opening the topic. He felt like no matter what he talked about it was going to be dark and depressing. No one wanted to talk about that. Or listen to it. Maybe nod their heads sympathetically and get it over with, but he supposed if he hadn’t told them, they had a right to know.
“I left the Navy after the accident where I lost most of my team. Myself and one other survived but, uh… he passed away a few years later. Riley and I had never talked about love, but we were close. Or as close as we could be in the military. Anyway, he told me he loved me before he passed. I know he didn’t say it to be cruel. Maybe he wanted me to know instead of always wondering. I don’t know. I didn’t think I would ever allow myself to fall in love again. Then I met Caspian -- ah, I don’t know how it happened but I did fall in love with him. But he was young. Is young. I think he wanted more stability and adventure that I could give. I think he was embarrassed that I was… wow, a decade older than him? Yeah, I know, I know,” he paused to wince. He knew he was probably saying more than they ever wanted to hear, but at least once he got it all out, they’d never have to talk about it again if they didn’t want to.
“He said he liked that I was older, but he was embarrassed to meet anyone with me. His mom and twin, my family, you guys… I might not have been thinking at the time. There had been… some life or death situations that came up with me being a Knight. I thought now or never. Maybe I was still haunted by Riley not telling me until the end, I don’t know. Well, obviously that didn’t last very long. I don’t think he was really ready to, um… deal with me. I was too controlling and overprotective -- obviously you know that I can be… I’m sorry about that, and I’ll try backing off more if you need me to. But, he didn’t like that I didn’t want him to do things that would put him in danger. Said how I should trust him. I did! … Ah, or maybe I trusted that he would get himself into situations he couldn’t get out of.”
Michael was also sure that his refusal to get a puppy or talk about having kids was another eventual deal breaker. And yet, here he was with a kid -- teenager.
“But Devyn is different. I trust him. He listens to me when I ask him to do something -- like if something is dangerous. And… he knows it’s not because I doubt his abilities. I have a lot of trust in his abilities. I just also know the type of enemy we’re facing more than he does. I didn’t tell him right away that I knew who he was looking for. I didn’t want to disappoint him more than he already would be. Or maybe I wasn’t ready to be compared to someone I wasn’t. Or maybe I am. I don’t know. I don’t know how much transfers over from one life to another. Sometimes it feels like my chest aches. I don’t know if it’s me or if it's my starseed reacting to something Devyn said or did. Ah, that sounds a little silly. But… I don’t know if I want to find out if Devyn is just being friendly or if there’s more… I guess I don’t want to be disappointed.”
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:40 pm
Between the two of them, they’d heard bits and pieces of Michael’s life before them, but he wasn’t really forthcoming with his trauma or grief. They’d never pushed him before and they weren’t going to start now. They were patient while he spoke and gave him the time to work through what he wanted to say. They didn’t interrupt, and though Asher’s face softened, Oliver looked like his heart hurt for Michael.
“Oh, I don’t blame you for worrying.” Oliver pushed himself up carefully and made his way to Michael before he leaned over to hug him. He didn’t want to just give his sympathies, he wanted his friend to know that he was supported and that they cared about him. “Sometimes I think you only see the worst in yourself, though.”
He drew back so Michael could see that he was smiling, and to make sure he wasn’t smothering him. “You worry a lot, we’ve never felt like you were controlling. And if we ever had a problem with you, we’d talk to you. But you’ve been wonderful to us, Michael. You have every reason to worry. You’ve been worrying about things we didn’t even know about until last week.”
That, and the pressure to keep it all quiet? They couldn’t blame him for anything. They knew he was carrying a burden, but it felt like they were still just only finding out how much of one it was.
Devyn did seem to trust Michael. And, if he was still here after finding out everything, he must have cared enough to want to be around. He must not have had any issue with Michael or how he did things, either. “It seems like you two trust each other a lot. And worry about each other a lot, too.”
He’d seen the way Devyn always seemed to have at least one eye on Michael, the way he would glance over to make sure he was doing all right, or do little things for him. Devyn wasn’t cold to them by any means, but there was a closeness with Michael that had made them both think something else might have been going on.
“Asher and I were wondering,” he admitted. “I thought you might have been soft introducing us to a new boyfriend when you brought him to Elliot’s game. I don’t know, you two have chemistry. We won’t pry if you don’t want us to get involved. I know we can be overbearing and overprotective. We just care about you, Michael. You deserve to be happy. Thank you for telling us about your very old alien past-life husband.”
Asher kept a straight face while Oliver spoke, and maybe gave Michael an apologetic look on his behalf. “Nothing you’ve said sounds silly. We don’t want you to be disappointed, either. I mean, I’d be disappointed if there wasn’t something there, I haven’t seen you so relaxed around anyone in a while. But as long as he’s taking care of you and making your life better, it doesn’t need a label. We just want you to be happy. And if you wanted us to maybe test the waters or ask around or push him in the right direction just to see,” he shrugged. “Well, the offer’s always open. I’m sure we’ll have a lot of time to get to know him.”
Just being neighborly, after all.
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 7:57 pm
Michael didn’t resist when Oliver got up so he could hug him. Part of him didn’t want to let go, but he didn’t want to be clingy, especially not after unloading everything he did onto them.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, although managed to avoid eye contact when Oliver pointed out how he only saw the worst in himself. He knew it was true, and while he had people like Oliver and Asher and Devyn and others in his family to remind him of the good, it was always easier to fall back onto his faults.
But Michael did laugh softly when Oliver admitted to thinking he was introducing them to a new boyfriend. If only it was that simple. And maybe it was, and he was the reason things were just standing still.
He knew he’d been more physically affectionate recently, but he didn’t dare try to make it something more than that. Just… being friendly. Or something.
“Well… let’s just hope Devyn doesn’t have a type. Because Percy…? He was more physically like you than me. Personality, too. Sweet and emotional. Caring. He was the artist. I figured Devyn would know enough about art from Percy to pass as an art student,” he admitted. He really should have discussed the possibility for that kind of conversation with Devyn before it happened.
Michael looked up at Oliver and over at Asher again. He could feel the pulse from his necklace, and in many ways it was just as fast as his own heart.
And then almost uncharacteristically (although maybe not since Devyn had been around), Michael admitted, “I like him a lot. Maybe more than that. I’m just afraid it might be influenced by who I was. Or that I’m asking for too much.”
He didn’t often open up about his feelings, so of course it was probably weird for Oliver and Asher, but after everything that had been kept from them, maybe they deserved more of his honesty.
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 8:30 pm
Naturally, both Asher and Oliver perked up when Michael was honest about his feelings towards Devyn. It was more straightforward than either of them had intended to get out of him. It was different, but not unwelcome. Maybe he was telling them because he’d already shared so many of his other secrets.
Maybe he was telling them because Devyn was that important to him.
Devyn, who wasn’t even there; he was off jogging around the neighborhood, keeping a perfectly steady pace as he tried to burn out his energy as quickly as possible so he could get back to them. Briefly, the necklace had calmed; he must have slowed down for something or was taking a moment to catch his breath. Only a moment had passed, and then the necklace picked up again so he must have been back on the move.
“Well, I think you’re sweet and emotional and caring. And you’re an artist, too. Just with words, right? He probably could have passed as an art student if the rest of this hadn’t gone on. But thank you for telling us the truth. I want to ask him about how things were. I want to hear his stories, too.” Oliver was fascinated by it, but there was a timidness there, like he fully intended to be careful and not pry too much, no matter how much he loved stories or the idea of faraway lands where everything was different. Or love stories.
Oliver sat back down next to Asher, but he seemed like he had a lot of hugs left in him. He just needed to pace them out. Asher wrapped an arm around him but didn’t take his eyes off of Michael. “Would it be such a bad thing if it was influenced by who you ‘were’? I mean, if you see him for him and he sees you for you, you’re both still living in the present. You’re both taking care of each other. I mean, you like him now, right? You don’t have memories of falling in love with him while you were someone else, do you?”
He didn’t know how any of that worked, but he wanted to learn. There was a whole, big picture out there that he and Oliver had only seen pieces of, but they were doing their best to figure it all out.
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 9:04 pm
“No, I don’t,” Michael confirmed when asked if he had memories of falling in love with Devyn when he was someone else.
Only memories of every time Devyn made him, as Michael, smile. Or laugh. Or wonder. Or worry. Memories of slowly, or quickly depending on perspective, going from enjoying his company to not knowing what he would do without him. Relying on him and trusting him and falling in love with him.
Michael had his hand on his chest, holding the orb for a few moments longer, before he rubbed at his heart as it raced with each passing thought.
“I think he would like that. Telling his stories. You’ll see how head over heels he is about Percy,” Michael said with a smile, because even if it meant his feelings could possibly be forever one sided, at least Devyn would get a chance to talk about someone he really cared for, even if they were gone.
And who knew. Maybe Devyn would be okay with companionship, even if he wasn’t able to bring himself to think about a relationship.
“You’ve both been very kind and patient with me. Thank you,” he said after a few moments with a sigh. “And don’t worry. We’ll keep the boys safe.”
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 9:54 pm
“Michael,” Oliver said, only the faintest bit exasperated, “Please, we know you’ll keep the boys safe. I’m going to worry, because I love my family very much and I don’t want anything to happen to them. I don’t want Elly or Atticus to get into any fights, I don’t want you to get into fights.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. “All of this is a lot to take in, still. I understand you all fighting–fighting to keep people safe. I respect that. I know that my boys are going to be as safe as possible with you–and Devyn–looking after them. He’s going to be a part of our life, I mean. Atticus and Elliot are such good friends, but you know that. They really took to each other quickly. So I’d like to be on good terms with Devyn, and I don’t want to hear about him giving you a hard time. Or I’ll have to send Asher over to have a firm word with him.”
Asher snorted at this, because neither of them were particularly intimidating–nor had any intention of being as much; even in their classrooms they weren’t particularly frightening. Asher was braver and more comfortable in stressful situations, but he understood Oliver’s intention, and if Devyn did ever give Michael a problem, of course he’d have a word with him.
“We’re looking forward to hearing some of those stories and getting to know him,” Asher said, and smiled again. “Sounds like you didn’t need a past life to like him, so I bet we won’t either. I’ll pick his brain some and see if he gives anything away about how he feels.” So Michael didn’t have to ask, because he obviously wasn’t going to.
He might have said something more on the matter, but the front door opened and he had a feeling it was Devyn because he didn’t hear the boys chattering. A few seconds passed, and Devyn came in looking as put together as if he hadn’t just taken a run around the neighborhood and–
To the park, judging by the paperbag with the blue emblem of a local food truck stamped on the front. When Devyn realized he wasn’t interrupting them, he brightened and walked over. “I ran into Elliot and Atticus, they convinced me to stop for a bite.” He probably hadn’t needed much convincing, but when they asked with their big, pleading eyes, who was he to say no? “They’re on the swings now, they say hello. Here,” he said, and started by passing Michael two hot dogs wrapped in wax paper, and then moving on to two for Oliver and two for Asher. “They helped me get your favorites.”
He took his seat next to Michael and pulled out one of his own, and smiled. He looked relaxed, comfortable.
Glad to be back and next to him.
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 10:02 pm
Michael didn’t get a chance to thank Asher and Oliver again, because he likely would have a few more times if Devyn hadn’t arrived home. He couldn’t help but smile when he made his way over and sat down next to him.
He didn’t have to ask Devyn if he was feeling better to know that the run was something he needed. And maybe running into the boys and getting food with them was what he needed too. Michael had needed time to talk with Asher and Oliver, so it worked out. He just hadn’t known he needed that time until Devyn went out for his run.
“Thank you, Devyn,” he said as he took the hotdogs that were passed to him. But the fondness in his voice probably gave it away that he wasn’t just thanking Devyn for the food.
Michael didn’t want to ruin what they had, so while he couldn’t tell Devyn how he felt, he knew as long as Devyn was around, he would be happy.
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