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 Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 1:39 pm
Devyn busied himself only briefly with wrapping the necklace around his wrist so he could wear it like a bracelet, mostly because he wasn’t done looking at it and wanted to make sure that Chad knew he was serious about being fond of it.
“You’ll know they’re the wrong people because every time you talk to them, they’ll make you feel bad. Or they’ll ask too much from you, and never give anything back. They’ll make you feel bad if you say no, or harass you until you say yes. You don’t need people like that. You’ve got good people who care about you. Michael says Elliot’s wonderful, he sounds like a good friend. So don’t settle for anything less. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. Who are willing to help you do what you need to succeed. Back home, on Alastor, it was easier to follow your own path. You could just leave if you didn’t like where you were. You could get a job easily. You could study under a trade. The big cities weren’t even quite like Destiny City. There were a lot less hoops to jump through.”
He was very obviously pleased to have any opportunity to talk about his home and continued, “You could walk into a shop and ask if they needed help. You could ask if you could learn their craft in exchange for basic work. I can’t say that people always looked out for each other, but. It wasn’t as bad as everyone else thought. My world used to get into trouble. We picked a lot of fights. Before my time, mostly. I only picked a fight when I had to. But we had a bit of a messy legacy. I wanted to change that. I wanted people to understand us. Not just understand that we like to fight.”
Devyn glanced at Chad and shamelessly admitted, “I like to fight, too. So don’t think I’m not having a good time when I do. I just don’t want anyone who doesn’t deserve it to get hurt. I wanted to get strong so I could make a difference. So I could make sure that everyone had a chance to be happy. Not everyone likes fighting. Not everyone should have to. People like you, for example, I’d want to stick up for. I can’t imagine you like a scuffle. I think you’d forgive anyone who gave you a hard time or picked on you. But that’s why I want to tell you that you don’t have to. You don’t always have to give parts of yourself to people who don’t deserve them. Some people only know how to take, and how to hurt. I don’t want you to get stuck in any of their traps. I want you to know that you’re worth more than that. And if you’re not happy with someone, you don’t have to help them.”
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 1:51 pm
Chad listened with interest, picking apart the granola bar as he did. He chewed slowly, and took a sip every now and then. He liked hearing about everything Devyn had to say about his world. It sounded… a lot less complicated than Earth.
“I sort of do that,” he said quietly, although he shuffled his feet a bit awkwardly on the ground. “I mean, I’ve asked others if they need help with chores. They’ll give me a few dollars to pick up sticks around their yard. I can’t get any money otherwise.”
It wasn’t much, but he tried. He was also worried about the comment Devyn made about when people ask too much from him, and give nothing back.
“I’m… not like that, am I?” he asked, obviously distressed by the thought. “Elliot and his dads have been wonderful to me. And you and Michael have too. But… I mean, even the beads weren’t mine already. Elliot got them for me to use. I don’t want to be someone who doesn’t give anything back.”
And by his expression it was probably clear that he worried about that often. He worried about taking too much and not being able to do anything in return. The Reids gave him food and company, and Devyn literally came running with a push of a button. What did he have to give in return? Beads that were already given to him? Just one more thing he was given that he hadn’t been able to pay back.
“I know I’m keeping your secret and… Elliot’s my friend, and he says I don’t have to do anything, but.”
Oh, he was getting worked up about it and he didn’t want to. He lifted a hand to rub at his eyes before they got too hot and started getting wet.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 2:00 pm
“Hey,” Devyn said, firmly but softly. “You’re a kid, Chad.” He didn’t know all of the rules of this world, but he knew it was different than on Alastor. He knew that there were laws that you were supposed to follow. Things you were supposed to do for your children.
“You’re not like the type of people I’m describing at all. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry. You’re a hard worker. You’re not someone who takes. When we part ways, I don’t ever feel bad. Worried about you. Hoping that you’ll be okay. But you send me thoughtful messages when you don’t have to. You were given a gift and you made presents to give to people you cared about. You care about them, and what they think about you. The people I’m talking about would have taken the beads and sold them. They wouldn’t have cared about the thought behind it, or if it hurt anyone. They wouldn’t have done it out of necessity, either, they’d have done it because they cared more about how something could benefit them, and what they could gain from it.”
Oh, what he wouldn’t have given to find out who had influenced Chad to such a capacity that he worried about things like this, that he was driven to such emotion about it. He suspected he knew. Somewhat, at least.
“Giving back doesn’t need to be a physical thing. You bring Elliot joy by being around, don’t you? And his parents like you quite a bit. Oliver looked so happy to see you when we went over. You’re very likable. I want to nurture that, I think. The gentleness in you. It’s in my nature to want to protect people. I’ve been like that for longer than I can remember. I’ve known too many good people who lost that because the world was cruel to them. I don’t want it to happen to you. I want you to be yourself, without having to hide some parts away so you can get by without being hurt.”
He pursed his lips briefly and leaned forward a bit in the swing; his legs were long enough that he was comfortable sitting, even if he was leaning against the chain a bit. He looked at the bracelet Chad had made for him and then continued, “Back home, they didn’t really thank me. Not really like this. It was an obligation, an expectation. I was a scapegoat when something went wrong, and nothing was ever good enough.” Maybe it was a generalization. Things just kept getting worse before he could fix them all.
“I don’t think I can articulate how much this gift means to me, Chad. Or what it means to me, the way you ask about Percy and let me talk about him. I don’t know if you can see the good in yourself or if someone’s just taught you to be blind to it. But you’re a good kid. And the Reids, and Michael, and I, think that you’ll grow up to be a good adult, too. We want to make sure you have the chance to. You’re worth it.”
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 2:07 pm
He immediately hated himself for it, but Chad flinched when Devyn spoke again. Red filled his face and he hung his head in shame. If he could go back in time and make sure that he didn’t react in such a way, he would have. Devyn was kind and gentle, and Chad had no reason to be nervous around him. He hated that he couldn’t make himself control his impulses.
Hoping that maybe Devyn didn’t notice, Chad kept his eyes down on the snack in his lap, and the drink Devyn brought for him. He didn’t want to cry, but the things Devyn said were so kind and encouraging that the tears welled up and spilled out anyway. Which was super embarrassing, because Devyn was telling him to be himself and that he was likable and that he was a good kid.
And that they think he would grow up to be a good adult. That he was worth it.
“I don’t think so,” he blubbered around his hands, which he’d buried his face in to try and hide, before he could think twice about it. He knew his response could have been for one of many things. Devyn could decide what he felt like believing was the response. No, Chad didn’t think he was worth it. No, he didn’t see anything good in himself. And no, he didn’t think he would be getting a chance to grow up to be a good adult. Or grow up at all. But Devyn didn’t have to know he was responding to everything.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m sorry,” he amended, even as he sobbed quietly and rubbed almost aggressively at his face as if that would make himself stop faster. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better, I promise.” If doing so meant making people happy, then he would do it happily.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 2:13 pm
A part of Devyn wondered if he should pretend like he hadn’t noticed, but it was hard to say he’d missed the flinch right before all the tears.
“You’re going to hurt your face, Chad. Here.” He put his drink down and stood up. He moved in front of Chad and held out a hand to help him up because he knew what he’d have done if this was Percy, and it was easy to equate the two in some ways. They were sensitive, hard working, nervous, shy. They were artists, and while he didn’t understand them, he understood that Chad had a lot of feelings and a lot of insecurities, and that usually meant that they were always better off after a hug.
“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, and I don’t know what you need to do better. Let me give you a hug and if you’re having a hard time being gentle, let me wipe your face. I don’t want you to scrub yourself raw.”
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 2:21 pm
When Devyn stood, Chad couldn’t help but glance up at him, and then quickly moved the bottle and what was left in the wrapper from his lap to the ground. A bit awkwardly because he didn’t want to seem like he didn’t appreciate Devyn’s efforts, which he did, but he also didn’t want what Devyn had given him to go to waste either.
He felt like he should continue to hide his face, because he was apparently saying things that he didn’t have to, or needless things if there wasn’t anything he could do better. He just knew he wanted to be enough to keep around, and he didn’t want his emotions to be the reason people left him.
So when he took Devyn’s hand to stand -- after wiping it dry as much as he could on his pants -- it was with a bit of hesitance. Devyn was already doing so much for him, he didn’t want to be a burden. And he knew Devyn meant everything he’d said, about how giving back didn’t have to be a physical thing, and that Devyn didn’t feel bad when they parted ways, but Chad was still worried. After all, people like Devyn and Elliot were so nice that he didn’t know how to process them not meaning anything by it other than just being nice. There was no ulterior motive that he could tell, nothing that would catch him in a trap and turn things around on him.
He stood and lifted his arms to carefully wrap around Devyn’s waist to hug him. But almost as soon as he did so, the weight of emotions felt like they were crashing down on him, and he couldn’t stop the tears. He clung to the back of Devyn’s shirt and practically collapsed against him. If it weren’t for Devyn hugging him back, he would have likely ended up on the ground in a puddle of misery.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 2:28 pm
It was everything Devyn expected it was going to be, so he wasn’t surprised when Chad’s emotions spilled out. He thought of Percy again, and how he let things build up until they just exploded. How he had to coax the tears out sometimes, because Percy would try to hold it all in like he wasn’t allowed to cry when he needed to.
He draped his arms gently over Chad’s shoulders at first, but when he realized the gravity of the emotions he just made sure he had enough support to stay upright. Chad weighed enough that he could use one arm to support most of his weight, and rubbed his back reassuringly with the other.
“There you go,” he reassured, in the same gentle tone that used to ease Percy, and once again he was glad for having met him so he knew how to help.
“It’s okay,” he said again, not to rush him through his emotions, but just to let him know that it was okay.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 2:36 pm
He felt bad for crying on Devyn and getting his shirt wet. He’d offered Chad a hug, not to be a giant tissue. And yet he couldn’t stop himself from crying, even if he wanted to.
He supposed they were lucky that there weren’t many others around. And those who were around seemed to be leaving them alone. The last thing Chad wanted was for Devyn to get in trouble because someone thought Devyn was upsetting him. He would tell them he wasn’t! But it would be an inconvenience to deal with.
It took him a little while, but eventually the sobs started to ease up, and Chad was left to sniffle wetly instead. Instinct was for him to rub his face again, of course. It wasn’t as though he was used to anyone offering to be gentle with him while he was crying and being gross.
“I’m sorry,” Chad mumbled again, once the tears had mostly stopped, minus a few that leaked out every now and then. “I don’t know why I’m like this,” he admitted. It was embarrassing and made him feel pathetic. He’d been told he was pathetic for crying, so what else was he supposed to believe?
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 3:13 pm
“No, don’t be. Just let it out. Just means you have strong feelings, nothing’s wrong with that. You’re not hurting anyone.” Maybe wearing himself out, but it wasn’t the worst emotion to have. It was better than getting angry all the time.
Devyn would have taken any chance he could to talk about Percy, and he seemed to have nothing but love and affection and pride in his voice any time he did. Even when he was talking about how emotional Percy could get.
“Perce was emotional. I always carried extra water for him in case the tears started. It’s just how he was, I thought it was endearing. I learned to suppress my emotions early on so people couldn’t use them against me. But I had a lot on my shoulders. Percy was expressive and wore his heart on his sleeve. He felt bad for crying, but it never made me think less of him. When I’m frustrated or have too many emotions, I just go for a jog or something. Seems like you just cry to work them out. It’s better for you, if you keep them in they can make you sick.”
And, he suspected so much of this was new or foreign to Chad. He didn’t blame him for not having any emotional resistance to being praised, or getting overwhelmed.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 3:23 pm
It was absolutely new and foreign to Chad to be told it was okay to cry. Elliot was sweet and didn’t mind him crying. Even encouraged and supported him if it made him feel better. Elliot’s dads didn’t seem to mind either, but they were so very nice so of course they would be supportive.
But hearing Devyn talk about Percy being emotional, and how Devyn never thought less of him for crying was… definitely different. And maybe that was why Devyn seemed to know what to do when Chad was upset, because it was something he’d been used to with his husband.
He didn’t say it, but Chad wished he could have met Percy. He didn’t know anyone else who was emotional like him. Maybe if there was someone he could relate to, it wouldn’t be so bad. But Devyn was there, and telling him about Percy, so it was sort of like meeting him, wasn’t it?
“I wish more people were like you,” he admitted with another sniffle as he hid his face against Devyn’s chest. “Most people would make fun of me for getting emotional. I try to smile all the time but it’s so exhausting.”
It was easier to smile and pretend like he was okay, rather than making people uncomfortable because he was weepy and emotional.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 3:35 pm
At this, Devyn laughed softly. “I bet. My face used to hurt for hours after I had to go to meetings and conferences. I wasn’t even doing a big smile like you do. I got used to putting on a performance, people always assumed the worst if I didn’t. I can’t say I was always convincing, or that I even always tried my hardest, but. You don’t have to force yourself to smile around me, Chad. Take a break sometimes.”
He rubbed his back again. “There’s nothing to make fun of when someone’s getting emotional. That’s just kicking someone when they’re down, or giving someone a hard time for no reason. A little like laughing while someone’s bleeding. It’s just not tasteful. I’m not going to give you a hard time if you need to take a break. I know you’ve got it rough.”
Devyn was patient. Not for everyone. Not for most people, even.
But, for people who deserved it, he had all the patience in the world.
“You make whatever face you want around me, I don’t mind. I didn’t bring a handkerchief, but my shirt’s silk, so if you’re going to wipe yourself on anything, at least I know this’ll be gentle on your skin.”
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 4:09 pm
Chad took a moment to tilt his head back to frown up at Devyn in distress. He didn’t want to ruin his shirt, but it was very kind of him to offer it. So Chad was gentle and used his short sleeve to rub at his nose and his eyes, and then leaned forward to press his face against Devyn’s chest again.
It was nice to be with someone who obviously cared about him. It was almost like being with Elliot, but that was different. They were both so patient with him in their own ways. Chad really didn’t know what he did to get so lucky as to even meet them and have them in his life.
“Who the hell are you? Get your hands off my kid,” a gruff voice barked from across the playground, and Chad immediately tensed and pulled himself away from Devyn, looking up at him with terrified eyes, before turning back to the man in a police uniform stalking their way.
Chad tried opening his mouth to explain himself, but he suddenly couldn’t breathe. All he could do was stand there while his heart tried to escape his chest.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 4:20 pm
Oh, ********. That probably wasn’t good.
On one hand, Devyn didn’t want to get into trouble. On the other hand, he really didn’t like people telling him what to do.
My kid mostly implied one thing, and there was a brief moment when Devyn thought he could just power up and leave Chad’s father on Alastor for the shadows. But, he didn’t. He almost felt bad for thinking that it was a shame there wasn’t a Corrupted Senshi lurking around now to get involved. If he’d wanted a target, there was one nobody would miss.
Almost felt bad.
“It’s okay,” he said again to Chad. Quiet. Not enough to make a scene. He turned to face the very loud stranger calmly, and he didn’t think about how punchable he looked. “You must be his father.”
Devyn did not ball his hand into a first. Did not launch onto him and pummel him into the ground.
He didn’t have to moe to stand between Chad and his father, and he offered his hand. Politely. “I was hoping I’d get to meet you. My name’s Devyn.”
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 4:53 pm
Chad stayed frozen in place, not sure what he should do. It was very clear by his body language that he did not want to leave Devyn’s side, but he also looked like he was ready to comply with whatever he was told to do.
The man’s eyes narrowed on Devyn. He wasn’t quite middle age, and might have been considered handsome at one point, if he didn’t have such cold eyes. His hair and eyes were dark while Chad’s were light, and he certainly didn’t look like he was struggling to obtain food for himself.
“Hoping to meet me, huh? What lies has he been spreading?” the man spat, hand on his belt where his weapon was holstered. It was likely a gesture of habit as much as it was meant for intimidation. He took one look at Devyn’s hand and sneered, before holding out his other hand to reach for Chad’s arm.
“Why don’t you go back to whatever circus you came from. No one wants your kind here. Prey on someone else’s children. Come on, Chad,” he snarled and gripped Chad’s upper arm so tightly that Chad whimpered in pain, and had to follow if he didn’t want to just get pulled on the ground.
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Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2022 5:03 pm
While Devyn wasn’t the least bit upset or intimidated by any of the man’s words–because, really, circus? Please, Devyn was dressed down for Destiny City. He watched the man. The way he grabbed Chad’s arm and tugged him around. The way Chad just went with him. Just buckled under the pressure.
He withdrew his hand and this time let it curl into a fist. Relaxed it. Breathed. Kept his fake smile like he would have for any other slimy, two-faced man in power.
He didn’t think Chad would ask him for help. Didn’t think there was anything he could do to intervene legally. Probably not a way to do anything without somehow making Michael’s life more inconvenient.
He really wasn’t interested in Chad just being taken, though. Didn’t want him to think he was alone. There was a part of all of this that felt distinctly like his fault and he didn’t want to send Chad back without any reassurances. If they’d been on Alastor, he’d just challenge his father to a fight now and be done with it.
“You should be careful with him,” Devyn said. Calmly. He wasn't trying to pick a fight.
He really wanted to pick a fight.
“Someone might suspect something if they saw a kid getting manhandled like that. Might be tempted to intervene. Or call something in.”
He wished Michael were here, he’d know what to do. Or tell him what he shouldn’t do.
Maybe he could just kidnap him right now. Or tonight.
The little voice in the back of his head, Percy’s voice, chimed in. And, as Devyn always did when he was looking for advice in difficult situations, he listened. He took it to heart.
He could clearly hear Percy saying to do whatever he had to in order to make sure he was safe.
So, it must have been all right.
But, he wondered if Michael had picked up through the necklace that something was wrong.
So, he didn’t act immediately.
He tried to be patient. Tried to be logical.
By Earth standards, it was impossible.
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