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 Posted: Tue May 10, 2022 7:42 pm
“It helps that I didn’t get them all at once, otherwise yeah, it probably would have been uncomfortable. I don’t remember much now.” Maybe some of the excitement was still there, the uncertainty of putting something that was meant to be permanent on his body, and therefore letting others know more about him.
He couldn’t see them very well, where they were placed. The one on his shoulder had been his first, but the ones after had been placed in such a way that he would only see them if he looked in a mirror or twisted himself enough to see.
Had they even been for himself? Of course they were, in a way. They were extensions of who he was, so why didn’t he get them in places where he could admire them?
“Probably this one,” he reached around himself to touch where he knew the branches of the tree were. Not that Devyn would be able to see much of it without getting closer. The white ink was purposeful, not just because it was true to its source, but because it was hidden more. Protected against his side.
He traced the branches down until he reached where his skin was left scarred and uneven where the trunk was supposed to be, and then he lowered his hand back into the water with a shrug.
“That looks like it was painful,” he nodded to Devyn’s chest and the large scar there. Much more painful than the wound he was currently dealing with.
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2022 7:51 pm
Naturally, Devyn had leaned closer to better see the pale ink. Michael traced the branches himself–which was good, because Devyn had felt himself struck with the urge to do so. He was mindful enough to keep his hands to himself, at least.
“Oh,” he said, and managed to distract himself by placing a hand on his own chest. As if he hadn’t done it a thousand times before. It’s not like the scar was going to just fall off. He looked down at it and then back up at Michael. “Yeah, that one hurt. I want to say it scarred badly because it was a bad injury, but the truth is, I just had a hard time stitching myself up. Yours will look better!” he insisted, “I’ve gotten much better since this. It was dark when I was doing mine, I just needed to make sure I had enough blood in me to get somewhere safe. I got ambushed. Dark night, storming. Cut open, half drowned. Miserable, all of it. Worst papercut I ever got. If anything was going to take me down, it should have been this. But, their mistake. Only made me stronger. And now I can predict the weather, so.”
He flashed a grin. “Storms don’t sneak up on me anymore.”
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2022 8:19 pm
Michael listened as Devyn explained the injury. Watched as Devyn placed a hand on his chest. Tried to imagine what it would have been like. An ambush? During a storm? Easy way to get rid of evidence. Especially if he’d been half drowned.
“What is with you and papercuts? You’ve mentioned them a few times,” he couldn’t help but ask. Obviously it wasn’t a papercut across his chest. A way to downplay how horrible of an injury it was? Was that how he described his injuries to Percy? Just a papercut?
“Ah…” he said to himself, thinking he figured it out before Devyn had a chance to respond. Another lie to Percy then? To keep him from worrying.
“I hope you’ll be honest with me when you’re injured. Hopefully you won’t be injured again, but… What did Percy have to say about it?” he wondered, nodding to Devyn’s chest again. There was no way he could have hidden how bad of an injury it was.
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 5:46 am
Had he mentioned papercuts a few times? He trusted Michael, he just hadn’t paid enough attention to whatever he was saying to recall them. Probably just meant he was comfortable around him, but that wasn’t really a surprise when he already knew that.
“Oh, Percy was a good sport. I went to him for help with this one. I made a real mess of it myself, obviously. I was still pretty young, couldn’t have been more than twenty. I didn’t know who I could trust back home, but I’ve always known I could trust Percy. And he was a good healer, I knew he’d get me back on my feet. I made–well, I can’t call it a bad move, but it was a poorly received move. I upset some powerful people and they thought I’d be better off out of the picture. I just had to survive for long enough to get to Perce so he could fix me up properly. And, he did. I didn’t have good first aid on me, I think at one point I was using thread I pulled out of my sleeve to try and hold me together. And then, I tore out all my stitches on the way to Sessrumnir. But, I knew I needed help. I was tired, sore. Waterlogged, bleeding out. He did a really good job, I’m proud of him.”
He tipped his head back again and looked up at the ceiling, like he could pull the memories out clearer if he had something other to focus on than Michael’s face.
“I got a bad papercut a little while after I’d met Percy. It bled a lot, I mean. It was really dramatic for a little cut. So whenever I got hurt, I’d just tell him it was a papercut. Might look bad, but it wasn’t anything to worry about. He wasn’t used to getting hurt like I was, so he always worried extra about every new scrape or bruise I came home with. It was sweet. He always took better care of me than I did. But,” he picked his head up so he could see Michael again and let his eyes trace a few of the scars he had before meeting his eyes. “You’ve got plenty, yourself. You know what it’s like to get hurt and come out of it. I’ll tell you when I’m hurt, I promise. Even this,” he ran one hand gently over his bruise, which hadn’t magically healed despite the four whole minutes he’d spent in the Springs already, “Looks bad, but it’s not going to kill me. I’m not worried about it. And I’m not just saying that because I’m more worried about what you took home from that fight. Even if this was all we got out of it I’d still be up and around. Maybe I’d be on the couch or in bed practicing my handwriting, heating up a bag of frozen vegetables on my stomach, but that’s it. If I get hurt, I’ll come to you. I hate stitching myself up, anyway. And you know all the good medicine to take.”
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 10:15 am
Michael couldn’t help the grimace that pulled at his expression when Devyn mentioned how he’d used thread from his sleeve -- which, Michael supposed, was better than bleeding out, but it was still a rough position to be in. Not that he wasn’t impressed that Devyn managed not to die after all of that. The scar was obviously old, but it looked like it had been very roughly held together. At least for a bit.
His expression eased a little when he explained why he’d mentioned papercuts before. So it was something he associated with Percy. It wasn’t as concerning as pretending like his wounds weren’t that bad, at least. Although, if Percy was some kind of medic, he would have known how bad an injury was. In theory.
Michael forced a sigh and shifted a bit so he could get more comfortable. The water was moving and clear, with a steady haze of steam coming up from the surface. Probably volcanic activity deep below Sessrumnir, although it had stayed dormant all this time. Or maybe the caves just went deep enough to get the benefit of the Springs.
“Sometimes you can’t tell by just looking,” he said as he glanced away from Devyn. Maybe he wanted to see what was so interesting about the ceiling -- oh, it was covered in crystals. Okay, yeah, that was pretty interesting. “At least with mine, you can see the extent of it. How deep the wound goes. Where it caused the most damage. With yours… unless we brought you to get an x-ray, we might not know if you have any cracked ribs or… worse.”
Not until it was too late.
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 10:43 am
Devyn seemed to have settled in rather comfortably in the water; he probably could have even taken a nap there.
“I have no idea what an x-ray is, but I can promise you that this is probably just some nasty bruising. Nothing feels cracked. And it wasn’t enough to spoil my appetite, so I think everything’s all good in here. I promise, Michael. I feel…”
He could have given him some hasty, non committal answer to reassure him, but he had no reason to lie to Michael. He didn’t have to sugar coat it. Michael had taken care of him since he’d gotten to Earth–if something did go wrong, he’d only just give him more trouble.
“Sore, I guess. Tender. Kind of like I pulled a muscle. It’s not a constant pain, mostly I only notice it when I’m moving too much. Mostly only when I’m touching it. It’s warm to the touch, but I run warm anyway so I just figure it’s my body trying to heal. It hurts a little–a very little–when I breathe in too deeply. Hurts enough that I’m not going to be running around today, tomorrow. We’ll see about the day after. Doesn’t hurt enough that I’m worried about anything. I’m not coughing up blood or cracking when I move. But if anything changes, I’ll come talk to you about it. I’m not interested in keeping secrets from you. Papercuts or otherwise. I’m not ready to start falling apart, I’ve got too much to do before I start slacking on my health. But I’ll do my best not to give you too much work. I’m sure there are plenty of better ways to spend all our time than stitching each other up.”
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 10:51 am
Michael knew Devyn would say he was fine. That it was just a papercut, that he’d survived much worse.
So when Devyn did say that his injury was sore, the building tension released so quickly that Michael was certain that Devyn could see his shoulders drop a bit.
He had no reason to be honest like that. He could have just told him he was okay and left it at that, but he didn’t. And for that, Michael shifted a little awkwardly, because it was so different to what he was used to.
“An x-ray can take images of your bones. Check for any fractures or other issues,” he explained, because it was his fault for forgetting that Devyn wasn’t from Earth. It was just so easy to talk to him that it felt as though he’d known him his whole life.
His heart was beating uncomfortably fast, and he reached up to rub at his chest, fingers briefly brushing against the orb around his neck. Devyn seemed comfortable. Relaxed even. He knew he wasn’t lying about it not being too painful, and yet it still made Michael anxious.
“Someone I knew… had internal injuries we didn’t know about until it was too late,” he explained through gritted teeth, unable to look at Devyn as he spoke. “They, ah… were busy taking care of me at the time. I just don’t want a repeat.”
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 11:09 am
Devyn’s face settled into something more serious; his brows knit just slightly and he watched how Michael’s demeanor changed. Relaxed, at first. But then he looked uncomfortable. Guilty. Was he ashamed that he’d missed that?
…Was it just someone he knew or was it someone important?
He would look up an x-ray later; he understood cameras taking pictures (sort of, but like the internet, it was something he accepted but didn’t understand) but he didn’t like the idea of something taking a picture of his bones. Did they have to cut you open for that? No, thank you.
“There won’t be a repeat.” His voice had softened and he wasn’t sure why. He knew Michael wasn’t fragile, it’s not like he needed to be coddled. Devyn was confident in himself but he didn't know how strong Michael’s–someone–had been. He could only infer that it must have been a difficult loss.
He placed his hand on Michael’s shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. “I’ll be careful. If you want me to let them take pictures of my bones, I’ll go.” He felt okay. Didn’t think it was worth it. But, he’d rather make sure Michael knew he’d go get it checked out if it would make him feel better. Something like that wasn’t worth arguing over.
But, the curiosity settled in. He figured it was a sensitive topic, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Who did you lose?”
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 4:48 pm
Michael knew that with how easy it was for him to talk to Devyn, that this conversation would come up at some point. He just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Then again, he hadn’t met anyone like Devyn that he felt like he could open up to so easily. Without judgment or worrying about some ulterior motive.
He chewed on the inside of his cheek, debating what he wanted to say, and what was too much. Scaring Devyn away with his baggage wasn’t something he wanted to do, although he supposed it would hurt less if Devyn decided that it was too much earlier than later.
“My team,” Michael said after possibly too long of a wait, as though maybe if he waited long enough Devyn would lose patience and change the subject. Or maybe he would pressure him to hurry up and talk instead of waiting for Michael to sort things out in his heart.
The only other time he talked about what happened, well… the topic was never brought up again. Probably for the best that it was never acknowledged. Somehow it made it more difficult to talk about now, even though it was Devyn.
“I, uh… we were in an accident --” No, that wasn’t quite right.
“We were… lured into a trap. I’m the only one of the five still alive. My friend from the Academy -- school… he comforted me while I was injured. He didn’t tell me he’d been injured badly enough that--”
He didn’t know why he felt so pent up about saying anything. This was Devyn he was talking to. But no one really had that much interest in something that happened so long ago. That was proven to him the last time he said anything.
“It was years ago. Before I left the Navy… the military. I get nightmares sometimes. Usually after things like this happens,” he explained and gestured to his stitched up side, but still couldn’t quite meet Devyn’s eyes.
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 5:07 pm
It had taken Michael so long to say anything that Devyn had almost told him not to worry about it. He didn’t want to rush him, didn’t want to interrupt him or make it feel like it wasn’t important. He just didn’t want Micahel to struggle or feel like he had to tell him something. He wanted to reassure him that it was fine if he wanted to drop the topic or didn’t answer, that it wasn’t going to hurt his feelings if it wasn’t something he wanted to share.
But then, he did share, and Devyn understood all the more.
When Michael started speaking, he listened. He was quiet, and patient. There was no reason for him to speak, not to rush Michael, not to interrupt. He waited until Michael seemed like he was done and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. He brushed his thumb reassuringly over his shoulder.
His friend didn’t tell him he’d been injured badly enough that he knew he was dying. Probably because he knew if he told Michael, he knew there wasn’t anything that could be done. So Micahel would have spent energy to try and save him–energy he didn’t have–and might not have made it, himself.
It made sense to Devyn. He didn’t suggest it out loud because he wasn’t going to presume to know the full situation, and wasn’t going to assert thoughts from someone he’d never met.
“I’m sorry, Michael.” Not because Devyn thought he was in any way responsible. Not because he regretted asking.
It was because it wasn’t fair, and the universe wasn’t going to apologize for any hardships it had put him through, and Michael didn’t deserve any of it. He didn’t understand the cruelty of fate, or why it would have chosen to burden Michael like that. He must have been young, he talked about it like it was ancient history.
“That must have been very difficult.” Must still be difficult; it seemed like it was something he was still grappling with. “That’s a lot to go through. I hope you didn’t have to do it alone.”
He hadn’t taken his eyes off of Michael, nor did he remove his hand from his shoulder.
“Does anything help with the nightmares? If you have one, what can I do?”
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 5:28 pm
A quiet, humorless laugh escaped when Devyn said he hoped he didn’t have to do it alone. It wasn’t exactly bitter, but there was something heavy about it, despite the sound being soft.
He didn’t think it was fair to burden Devyn with his past. At least when Devyn talked about Percy it was because he enjoyed talking about him. Even though there was a terrible sadness with his loss, he could see the fondness in Devyn’s eyes as he spoke of him.
Michael didn’t do anything to get Devyn to let go of his shoulder, although he wasn’t entirely sure how to express his appreciation for the attempted comfort. As for the nightmares, he shook his head.
“I usually try to ignore them. Keep them to myself. I usually just get up and walk around. Ah, when I can,” he added with a glance down at his side. “I don’t want to push my troubles on anyone else.”
Finally he glanced up at Devyn, his lip twitching into a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “His name was Riley. He waited until then to tell me he loved me.”
Maybe that was too much.
“Sorry. It was a long time ago. I should have gotten over it already, but I guess it likes to haunt me sometimes.”
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 5:38 pm
Devyn’s emotions were heavy and felt like a snake coiling in the pit of his stomach. He could feel the scales scratch as it shifted, could feel the sickening squirm of a trapped beast. Even when his emotions settled, it was still heavy. He never lifted his hand from Michael’s shoulder and he couldn’t find it in himself to look away, either.
“Just because something was a long time ago doesn’t mean you have any obligation to ‘get over it’.” He wasn’t one to suggest anything else, anyway. Devyn was as much stuck in the past as he was living in the present. “Wounds like that don’t ever seem to heal completely. Anyone who says they do has never been hurt enough to understand. You don’t owe anyone any apologies for that. If you’re not over, don’t try to force yourself to be.”
Some things healed. Some things didn’t.
Some things could be forcibly repressed for so long that when you uncovered the truth you got to relive the pain all over again.
Michael didn’t deserve any of that.
“If you have nightmares, you can come talk to me about them, if you want. Or we can walk around together until you’re ready to go back to bed.”
An offer he wouldn’t push, but one he intended to remind him of when he needed to.
He couldn’t get over the fake smile on Michael’s face, though. The way he seemed to be trying so hard to look like was okay. He wondered if that smile fooled anyone, or if everyone else just humored him.
It was cruel for a dying man to confess his love on his deathbed. But then, maybe it was cruel to ask him to go to his grave with a secret like that, too.
“Did you love him?”
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 6:24 pm
When they first arrived at Sessrumnir, Michael hadn’t anticipated talking about this. He thought they would maybe lounge around in the pool. He would listen to Devyn talk about Percy. They would eat the snacks Devyn brought with them. Maybe Michael would get a chance to get a good look at Devyn -- to make sure he wasn’t injured elsewhere, of course!
He didn’t expect to open up a past that he kept secret from everyone else.
“I think so. Yeah,” Michael said with a heavy sigh. “We were… best friends. He kept an eye on me when I got s**t for being an Admiral’s son. No one thought I got there on my own merit. Things had been… rough when I joined. There was a terrorist attack… buildings were destroyed, others damaged. Dad was working at one of them at the time. My aunt in one of the buildings that collapsed, but she didn’t make it. Peter had just been born. Mom insisted we moved after that. To Destiny City of all places. But Riley was nice to me. We studied together, managed to get assigned to the same division. We were trained in combat, but we were primarily search and rescue. I should have seen-- I was flying the… vehicle that got shot down. I should have seen the warning signs that it was a trap.”
He paused, reminding himself that Devyn probably didn’t want to hear any of this. So he nodded in response to his previous offer. “Sorry, I guess I didn’t think I’d be giving you my life history. Yeah, that sounds nice to have company if I wake up.” If he remembered to wake Devyn up, or if his habit of surviving on his own would keep him away.
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 6:41 pm
Michael apologized again, and Devyn wondered how many times someone must have been so disinterested that he felt like he needed to say he was sorry any time he opened up. He didn’t remind him not to apologize, but he squeezed his shoulder again.
It didn’t escape him that Michael had not only told him these things, but he’d done so in a way that Devyn was able to understand. Earth wasn’t his world, he didn’t know these things that came so easily to everyone else. But Micahel was patient and put in the effort to make sure Devyn could follow along.
“What happened to him isn’t your fault, Michael. A well laid trap has no warning signs. Sometimes, bad things just happen. No matter how experienced or diligent we are. I’m sorry that you lost someone so important to you. I’m glad he was there for you when he was.”
He didn’t know Riley. Didn’t know who Michael was ten years ago. He hoped that Riley got the closure he needed before he passed, and he hoped Michael hadn’t spent all this time blaming himself.
“You’ve had many obstacles in your life. You’ve overcome all of them, so far. I’m proud of you.” Was that a sappy thing to say? Was it strange? Maybe, but he meant it so he wasn’t going to take it back. He felt his heart work itself up a bit at the idea of Michael not having made it through. It was a strange anxiousness that he had to wrestle out of his mind.
He just really didn’t want to lose him. Didn’t even want to think about losing him. Or any of the circumstances that could have taken him from his Earth before he’d met him.
“...I can tell that you’ve had to deal with a lot of it alone. But I mean it when I say I’ll be there if you need anything. Just because you can deal with something alone doesn’t mean you should have to. Especially after a nightmare. And injured, no less. You’re a good man, Michael. You deserve to be cared for.”
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2022 6:53 pm
The strange anxiety Devyn was feeling wasn’t lost on Michael. He could feel the orb shift just a little, although he had a feeling that Devyn was very good at keeping his emotions contained.
It was sweet that Devyn was offering him comfort, that he was listening and seemed to be engaged and willing to help in the future. Again, Michael wondered if he ever actually had that from anyone else. Even those he once allowed his heart to love didn’t seem as interested in making sure he was okay as Devyn was.
Surely it was the heat from the water that colored his cheeks and not Devyn’s sincere sounding praise and promises. Still, he didn’t want to burden him too much.
“Thank you, Devyn. You’ve been doing a pretty good job taking care of me already,” he said with a quiet laugh now that the bulk of things were out in the open. There was more to the story, but he felt as though he’d already shared enough. Overwhelming Devyn was not his intention.
“It’s easier to deal with it alone, sometimes,” he admitted. But maybe that was because he hadn’t tried really sharing his troubles with anyone else.
“Dad wanted me to talk to someone about things, but. It could be dangerous. I can’t talk about being Sessrumnir with someone who might be in the Negaverse. Everything else… is difficult for people to understand. I don’t understand it myself. Which isn’t helpful at all, I know.”
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