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Reply Deep Space: Homeworld Exploration
[R] Look forward, but never wait (Sessrumnir + Alastor) FIN Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 [>] [»|]

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Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 9:30 am


He hadn’t expected honesty. He’d expected another deflection, another change of topic. A joke, maybe even a little resistance.

But, Michael had trusted him with the truth, and Devyn wasn’t going to waste it.

He felt the smile Michael gave him as much as he felt the ache of old scars when a storm was on the horizon.

“It seems like getting Paris back is a waiting game to find the right piece. But she’s strong too, isn’t she? She’ll hold on. She has too much here to just give in.” He didn’t know much about it, but he could speculate. A husband, children. People relying on her. People who weren’t giving up on finding her.

But they were stuck, if they couldn’t just extract her from the Negaverse. They needed the right person, the right people, in place. Or magic beyond what any of them had. Or technology beyond what the Mauvians could craft.

Devyn knew these were things he couldn’t change, things none of them could change. Probably. They were all fighting, trying to find anything to give them an advantage just to get back what they’d lost. Who they’d lost.

“Don’t apologize for worrying me. I’ve had a lot of practice in my life. And besides, there’s not really a way to turn it off. I mean, unless I know that I’ve done all I can to help. I know I have a long way to go, but if I can help you with Ganymede, or the Negaverse, or anything else, I want you to give me a chance. I want you to be okay, but it’s not a race to get there. If you run too fast to the finish line, you leave some pieces of yourself behind. And it’s not always easy to go back and find them once the race is over.”

Finding Ganymede was a good goal, but he doubted it was the end of any healing.

He wondered if Michael had even had the chance to start.


Guine
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 10:03 am


“I feel like I’ve been running in circles sometimes,” Sessrumnir heard himself admit, and he had to sigh again, because it was sometimes too easy to tell Devyn things. Things he normally would have kept to himself because it was too much, too personal. It was a problem that he needed to figure out for himself, and not crush others under the weight of everything.

There were people who were suffering much more than he was. What right did he have to even say that he wasn’t doing well? And maybe that was why he kept it to himself. Or tried to, if Devyn wasn’t so good at making it feel like he wouldn’t be judged. Not just that, but Devyn trusted him, too.

“I know you want to help, but… you have to promise that if I tell you to do something when it comes to fighting the Negaverse, to trust me. If I tell you to run. Please.” He wasn’t beyond begging if it meant trying to keep Devyn from getting killed.

“It was my fault dad died. I was the one who provoked Jet. I was the one who went after Aquamarine because he pissed me off before. I should have killed them both but…”

That wasn’t who he was. He didn’t want to kill anyone. He had too much blood on his hands already. He didn’t want to add more.


Kyuseisha no Hikari


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer



Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 10:14 am


Alastor wasn’t going to argue. If Michael wanted him to run–

Well, he was very fast. Running from a battle was not something he was used to, and not something he wanted to do. Devyn didn’t start a battle and not finish it, and he didn’t pick fights and lose.

He felt prickled, like his pride was on the line, but he looked at Michael when he asked, and–

How could he say no? How could he trust Michael and say no?

“I’ll run,” he promised. “If you run with me.”

The only stipulation, the only request he’d make. Because if Devyn wasn’t allowed to fight with him, he wasn’t going to let Sessrumnir fight alone.

And if Sessrumnir told him to run and tried to stay behind? Alastor could carry Princess. He didn’t think Michael could be more difficult than that. He’d probably even fit in his arms better than she did.

“And if you stop blaming yourself for what happened to your father. You didn’t do that to him. And he told you to be honest, right? You can blame Jet. You can blame Aquamarine. But you can’t blame yourself. You didn’t kill them. That doesn’t mean you killed him. Sometimes things are just out of our control.”


Guine
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 11:13 am


He was almost surprised to hear Alastor agree -- but then it made sense when he followed it up with a request of his own.

Sessrumnir frowned, but he didn’t look too upset about it. More resigned than anything. He was hoping that Devyn would just agree, but realized he wasn’t giving him enough credit. Alastor was experienced, unlike so many others. But that didn’t mean Michael wasn’t going to worry.

And that didn’t mean it was going to be easy for him to just stop blaming himself. Not when the guilt of everything weighed so heavily on him.

For Devyn’s sake, he nodded. It would take some work for him to stop thinking that at least some of what happened was his fault, but he would try. Just as Devyn had to break the illusion he’d built around himself, he would try to stop blaming himself, even if it was so easy to do so.

“Okay… you run, I run,” he said, knowing very well that if that were the case, they would both end up staying and fighting anyway.


Kyuseisha no Hikari


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer



Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 11:22 am


Alastor rolled the idea over in his head, but Michael had agreed, so that was that. He trusted him. It was a promise.

And, Devyn kept his promises.

“I’m going to trust you to know when we’re in over our heads. If it’s too dangerous for us,” he said, because it wasn’t going to be just him. If Michael told him to run, they were going to run. And he was going to have to work to get stronger so he could be an Eternal Senshi again. Whether it was eat more, or improve his physical strength, or just convince Soleiyu that he could do it.

“So if running is going to be part of our tactics, we should go jogging together. In addition to whatever else your workout routine is. And we should spar together. I want to see how you fight. If we’re going to go out together, I don’t want to get in your way. I want to know your strengths and your weaknesses, and I want you to know mine. I want to learn everything I can and make sure I’m going into this as prepared as possible. I want you to be confident that we can handle it. Or, that we can run fast enough to get out of something if we need to.”


Guine
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 6:25 pm


“Lucky for us, most of the Negaverse is poorly trained. Young. Inexperienced. It’s the ones who have been around for a long time and have weapons and know how to use teleporting to their advantage that you have to look out for. Most of them are just…” he paused, searching for the right word. And when he did, he couldn’t help the half-snarled expression of both horror and disgust. “...Children.”

The Negaverse tried to harass them about recruiting child soldiers in the form of Chibi Senshi. But as Chibi Senshi, they would have more of a chance at defending themselves than as just civilians. Michael didn’t like it, but at least they had a fighting chance. And since Alastor had been awakened at such a young age, it wasn’t unheard of in the grand scheme of things.

“But okay, we can do that,” he agreed. It wasn’t difficult to agree to training together. It wasn’t often that he agreed to work as any part of a team. Not since what happened to his last real team. But a partner to fight alongside would give them a better advantage.

“You’ve had a lot of experience in dealing with people,” Sessrumnir said after another few moments of thinking about their agreement. “Experience with people wanting to take advantage of you, or people who might not know what they’re doing. So… same for you. If you think we should do something in a situation -- if we should give someone a chance, or if we should fight and not back down -- I’ll trust whatever your decision.”


Kyuseisha no Hikari


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer



Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 7:04 pm


“Give someone a chance? No, I’d rather beat the Chaos out of them, if we’re being honest, but.”

He sighed heavily, and there was a hint of dramatics in there.

“If they’re children, I don’t know. Maybe that’s a little different.”

A little different.

It was clear that this spin on things was making him reconsider what he wanted to do, but…

“I don’t think everyone can be saved. And I’d rather send their starseed back to the Cauldron than risk any Chaos shattering it beyond repair. I don’t thrive on death. I don’t want to be responsible for it. But I have killed before. For the greater good, I always thought. It’s a last resort, it always has been. But I’d kill someone if it meant saving my world. And I’d do the same if it meant saving Earth, too.”

That probably didn’t sound good. It was easier to talk about it with Percy, who had known him for so long that he’d have trusted him with anything. He didn’t want Michael to think he was just going to go out and start murdering kids.

“...We can play it by ear, though. I suppose it’s not going to be easy to decide right off the bat. Maybe I should just start taking the ones who might have a chance to be saved to Alastor. Let them see what Chaos is. What it does.”

If he couldn’t beat the Chaos out of them, maybe he could scare it out of them, instead.


Guine
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 7:18 pm


“No, not everyone can be saved,” Sessrumnir said with a frown. “Dad wanted to give others a second chance. Or third. Or fourth. He stopped me from killing Jet. I was going to do it, too. I had a bad feeling about him, like he was just biding his time. Goading me on purpose.”

They still didn’t know how the rest of the Negaverse found where Jet was being kept, especially with the Void in place, but they found it nonetheless.

“I have too, Devyn,” he said quietly, because he didn’t want to think about it, but it was part of who he was. He regretted having to, but the outcome meant saving more lives. And he thought it was important for Devyn to know that he wasn’t being judged for having to do the things he did.

Sessrumnir nodded as he rubbed his fingers along Princess’ ear. She was being good. Quiet. He wondered if she could sense his anxiety for the loud noises and chaos of running into things.

“Sometimes it’s the only way to stop them. Maybe in their next life they’ll have a chance to be better.”


Kyuseisha no Hikari


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer



Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 7:52 pm


This, Devyn understood. Agreed with. He relaxed again, at peace once more with Michael because he didn’t have to explain himself or defend against some of the harder decisions he’d had to make in his life.

It was a lot of responsibility to have to decide who died so others could live.

It was something you couldn’t take back once you’d done it. So, he’d always taken it seriously.

“It sounds like our feelings align on the matter. Sometimes you can’t take chances and hope someone’s going to make the right choice. Sometimes you have to make the choice for them, and give them a chance to try again. Maybe they’ll be better off in their next life.”

He sighed once more and then shrugged. “I don’t enjoy it. But I’ve always done the best that I could. I’m not going to waste my time on someone who isn’t worth the effort. I’ll do my best while I’m here. I understand that Earth has different rules than Alastor. I’m going to trust in your guidance, Michael. I’m going to do my best. If someone can be saved, and I’m not holding my breath, but I’ll try. Killing kids doesn’t quite sit right with me. But if it’s me or them?”

He shook his head. “Then, they made their choice. I’d rather die than let Chaos have me. But I understand that not everyone has a chance to refuse it. Sounds like a lot of them don’t even know what they’re in for. So I’ll try. I’ll do what I can. But I will send them back to the Cauldron if I need to. I won’t let Chaos take this world. So whatever it takes,” he shrugged. “I’ll do it. But let’s hope for the best.”

And expect the worst.


Guine
PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 8:24 pm


“We’ll make it work,” Sessrumnir agreed. “Giving them second chances when they murder without hesitation isn’t doing anyone else any favors. Maybe we’ll be lucky and they’ll be reborn and grow up to help us. Things might get a little tricky, but if Cosmos wants everyone to be reborn here, then maybe it’ll work out in our favor.”

It sounded pretty vicious, to start killing off as many of the Negaverse as they could in order to give their starseeds a chance to be reborn, but it wasn’t as though they were left with many choices.

“If Ganymede is killed, we’ll lose one of our only means of purification anyway. There are other royals, but they aren’t often around. Maybe they gave up on trying to help others. Or maybe they feel like they’re better than everyone else, I don’t know. But we can only do so much when the Negaverse will not just kill someone, but remove their starseeds as well. Probably even destroy them.”

He had no idea what happened to his father’s starseed. If it was being hoarded like the stockpile Oberon and the others found when they invaded Negaspace, or if it had been destroyed already. He didn’t want to think about it, if he was being honest.


Kyuseisha no Hikari


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer



Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 9:16 pm


Though Alastor visibly frowned at the idea of a Royal giving up or thinking they were better than others, it didn’t seem to shake his resolve much. He didn’t have much faith in others. He had never achieved such power, but he couldn’t imagine wasting it.

“No, death is one thing, but destroying a starseed is another. Death is just,” he sighed, a heavy sound, “Natural. A part of life. The segue from one life to another.”

Sometimes it was an accident. Sometimes it was on purpose. But it was never concretely an end. Even with Percy, he’d thought–hoped–that there would be a part of him in this life. Well–before everything got complicated. He wasn’t sure what to think now, everything was really all muddled. But the important thing was that he’d found who Percy’s starseed had grown into.

In an entire universe, a thousand years after he’d lost him, he’d found Percy’s starseed.

The thought was striking, more so than it had been when he’d first realized it, and sometimes it felt like it was just taking longer for things to sink in. Longer for him to understand.

He wasn’t complaining. He was grateful for whatever cosmic miracle it was just to know that Percy, in some incarnation, was still alive in this universe. A shadow, a ghost. But he’d made it through the Cauldron.

In his last life, he hadn’t had much time to experience the universe before the Cauldron claimed him. He wanted Michael to have everything Percy didn’t. He wanted him to get to live and do everything he wanted to do. To be happy.

His chest ached again briefly, so he absentmindedly rubbed at it to try and ease the pain.

“But I won’t hesitate to stop anyone who threatens that balance. And I can’t help but think that if you’re going to start a fight, you should be able to finish it. If they’re trying to steal starseeds or kill people who don’t deserve it, I intend to intervene. I didn’t get this strong just to show off. Well.”

He looked down. “...This isn’t as impressive as I used to be. I’m grateful you’re patient enough to let me talk like I’m still unstoppable. I’ll get there. But I’ll be as safe as I can manage until then. And afterwards too, I suppose. Maybe. We’ll see. I’ll try.” This time, he sucked in a breath and looked at Michael rather seriously. “I’ll try. I promise. I’m pretty resilient, it’s hard for me not to be confident in my ability to not die. But I’m not going to get sloppy. I’m going to live a very long–longer–life. And you will, too. And we’ll make the world a better place. Or,” he glanced around the room. “More worlds than one.”


Guine
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 8:54 am


Sessrumnir was quiet as he listened. There was something sweet about how sincere Devyn was. How determined and confident he was in his abilities, even when he didn’t have all of his abilities back after being alone for so long. It was endearing, and Michael found it very difficult to keep his lips from pulling at the corners into a smile.

“I’ll hold you to that promise,” he said, but his voice was gentle, and he tried not to sound amused. “For making it this long, I would have to agree that you’re pretty resilient. Good, then I won’t have to worry about you as much when we get into trouble. But you’re right. We should get you back into shape if you’re going to be starting and finishing fights.”

He was joking. Just a little. He did want to help Devyn get back into shape, and get them both to a point where they could play off of each other’s strengths and make up for each other’s weaknesses. It would be nice knowing that he could trust someone to have his back, and know that they trusted him.

No, they didn’t know each other very well yet. Not more than a few days worth at best. But there would be time. That was what he hoped at least. They were both grieving, and both lonely. And Devyn was good company.

“So… are you hungry? You worked pretty hard. You deserve to refuel,” he nodded to the food he’d pulled out. He would have to move Princess to get up and hand Devyn any of the food, but he looked like he would be willing to do so.


Kyuseisha no Hikari


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer



Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 10:06 am


Alastor’s head rolled just slightly to the side so he could better look at the two on the couch. “Michael,” he said, very knowingly, “I am always hungry. Whether I work hard or not, I am a bottomless pit. I’m afraid I’ve got a good few years of an appetite to make up for. While you’re at work, I might have to go get a job, myself. Just to afford it all.”

Princess seemed like she was comfortable and when it didn’t look like she was going to be getting up any time soon, he pushed himself up. It was easier for him to get up instead of making Michael wrestle with the giant beast on his lap. And, really, Alastor was closer, anyway.

Instead, he picked up one sandwich for himself, and brought one over to Sessrumnir. “You’re going to have to keep up your strength to keep up with me. The more in shape I get, the more of a handful you can expect. Better get ready for it while you can.”


Guine
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 5:15 pm


He tried to hold it back. He really did. But in the end, Sessrumnir couldn’t help but laugh. At the idea of Devyn getting a job. Or that he was going to need to keep up his strength just to keep up with Devyn.

Princess could tell they were obviously excited about something, so she thwaped her tail a few times against the end of the couch, sending the settled dust into the air with each powerful beat. Sessrumnir stroked her fur to try and calm her down as he accepted the sandwich with his other hand, thanking Devyn when he caught his breath from laughing.

“Alright, I’ll make sure to keep up my strength. Thanks for the warning. And you can get a job if you want, but we’ll have to get paperwork done to make it less obvious that you’re not from Earth. Or you can do whatever you want. I only work because I want to. If I didn’t have a reason to get out of bed in the mornings, I might just stay there all day,” he confessed before his thoughts caught up with what he was saying.

Ah, maybe that wasn’t something he should have admitted to. And maybe Devyn wouldn’t worry about it anyway. It wasn’t anything to worry about! He was working. He was getting up. He was also not sleeping very well and moving on autopilot for most of the day, but his classes gave him something to look forward to that wasn’t him stuck dwelling on the past.


Kyuseisha no Hikari


Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer



Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2022 5:50 pm


The laughter was welcome, maybe more so after their previous conversations. Devyn didn’t want to overwhelm Michael; he still had a lot to learn about him and didn’t want to damage what they’d already built. Maybe being able to laugh was why Michael was also able to be honest with him.

Devyn had a different approach to Princess’ tail; instead of making his way back to the chair he’d been sitting in, he just joined them on the couch and sat on her tail. He ran his fingers through her fur and down her back while he took a bite from the sandwich.

“I could stand to spend a little more time in bed, myself. But it’s always so quiet. I start making lists in my head and can’t sleep. So I wind up laying there, waiting for sleep that I know isn’t coming. And then if I do get to sleep,” he shrugged, “I get a few minutes of it here or there. I get restless, too. Seems counterproductive, to get restless while you’re rest-less. There are some days when it catches up to me, where I don’t want to get up at all. But I keep a long list of things to do, so I really don’t have a choice. Not like anyone else is going to do them.”

He was making quick work of his sandwich; it was half-gone with his next bite and it was only after he swallowed that he let himself glance back to Michael. “I hope you get credit for being able to do it. That’s not always an easy thing to overcome. Especially when you don’t have someone there to give you a push when you need it.”


Guine
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Deep Space: Homeworld Exploration

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