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 Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2022 5:20 am
"Mm," he grunted, and rolled his eyes at Albite's dramatics. All sweat and scare and boyish threat, all for watching a memory. That proved the danger of it — of experiencing it, at least, compared with simply being given knowledge of it. But would the blow have been softened if it told Albite, in a twelve-year-old's level of reading comprehension, that Schörl did something bad to him? Would it have felt better to read it as if it were a newspaper article? Perhaps, but that wouldn't have suited his purposes, nor Velvet's.
"You going to fact-check me?" Faustite turned his head to peer down at his boy, still so sweat-slicked and breathless.
Poor boy, in retrospect, he should've found someone with nicer memories. Hadn't considered that, then, especially since he hoped for a different one. He could've called in Lilith, or Alkmene, or Celadonite. No guarantee that life had been kinder to them, but Faustite hoped there was a possibility. And if life had been just as rude, then.
Well. He supposed he was the weak one of them all.
Easier to sit like that, stay still, but he knew that if he wanted to distract Albite to better topics, to lift his spirits, then they needed a change of venue. He could manage that — could teleport them somewhere easier, kinder, clear of the sturm und drang that was woven into the Negaverse's very atmosphere.
And he thought of such a place — one of those dinky, hole-in-the-wall restaurants that Waru always talked up. Somewhere they'd been before, but not so many times as to tire their taste for it. But before he could pull the trigger on that memory and eject them from the long barrel of these too-dreary halls, Albite had spoken up. Had asked something so far out of turn that Faustite wasn't certain where it came from.
"… What Chevy?" He glanced down at his boy, brows furrowed.
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:43 am
Fact-checking his boy? That was an idea. The notion got a telltale hum, intrigue and threat. A sigh that bled into a tease of a kiss pressed to the free skin of Faustites jaw. Whatever little slice of it he could get before he had to reluctantly pull away to look.. Oh, Firebrand. How many nuances did the shift of his face hold if he looked. Flits of thousands and Albite wished he could've caught just one and held it still. Pinned it down and picked it apart - dissected limb, from wing, from body and heart. He drank up the tempered heat instead, and levied himself enough that he could meet Faustites gaze properly. He didn't care if he sweat and shook like he'd escaped the clutches of death, it was good right where he was. Held and wanted, being asked easy questions. "You can't see what I saw...n the thing doesn't let either of us choose what gets given up. Most interesting part of it is, like, the details you get to notice?" Albite wanted to crawl atop the thick glass n metal frame of the tabletop almost as badly as he wanted to pull Eion into a hug and feel the fever full-bodied, to make himself useful. There was purpose in the task and he wasn't going to be wasteful with Eion's gift of self - however unwitting he'd been in giving it. "What a guy who knows cars picks out...what a Senshi might pick out if poured into another Senshi's memories? If they can ignore all the rest of the input. ******** insane. Velvet must've been a badass....just like you." softest twitch of a smile, a blaze of wonder that lit him up considering his boy seriously. "Cause you were young then, yeah? You didn't drive, what would a car brand have mattered and it wasn't 'her car'. She would've treated it better, but picking that up out of the - the mess." he could tell Schorl treated many things better than people. Treated objects better than people. Treated him like he was less in that moment - not a dog or a pet - closer to a vacuum that'd failed to turn on properly? He wanted to turn the memory out on the table and piece it together like a puzzle until he had the full picture from all ends. Laminate it. Hang it on a frame so he could see it better, because the 'befores and afters' were all missing. He had come into the memory on pain and panic - bled out of it on defiance and in utter darkness. It was agony wound tripwire high, but what the ******** did that matter when he'd won? He didn't know why the 'Chevy' stuck out amongst the rest as a notable thing amidst bland grays and harsh concrete. Hell, he barely noticed the parking garage over the din of his Faustites body screaming, not on fire - only it was - except none of the telltale flicker of flames Waru'd become accustomed too. They didn't burn when they touched him. Nothing became ash and smoke when he choked it down. There was an odd heaviness along his spine..but that could've been anything. Everything. Such a visceral disconnect between then and now. All that hyperfocus, but maybe on the wrong aspects? It was just, Her words were so ******** clear even if everything else was spinning..."That detail stood out, somehow. The hood of that car, it's paintjob. Like it was highlighted, ********, stark as the starseed being bright gold? Mmhn. It doesn't actually matter, I guess. Though it'd be nice to know if it gets easier picking out the details you want if you do this often enough?" All sorts of willingness to hunt the depths again, a thousand times daily, often enough to know. He loved his boy and he wanted to know and this way he didn't have to ask, did he? He could cheat the system and learn without pressing all the sorest spots, maybe? Was that wrong --Albite didn't know, felt a seize of restlessness all of a sudden. Another urge to touch, to find innocuous details to trace where he could and get his hands on them. On Faustite.
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2022 9:16 am
Strange to think that Albite had a salient point. That he was capable of one — something that wasn't heavily implied at its most obvious. It was true that he hadn't seen what Albite experienced, and it was true that neither chose what memory to glean out of him. But neither of those meant as much as the details that were recognized by the one watching. Faustite half-wondered if his interest in Albite's statement had come from Albite himself, or the implications they had if he had Albite watch one of Ganymede's memories. Would a senshi glean more from another senshi than a youmafied officer? Was it dangerous to go through with that?
Would Albite fall so in love with space, with Ganymede's experiences, that he would consider leaving the Negaverse for them? He doubted, but doubt wasn't absolute.
"Velvet wasn't a badass," Faustite was quick to correct. Velvet was a delicate thing that felt much and did little about it. All his missed opportunities to venture beyond the confines of his own imagination — Velvet hardly gave it a thought.
And Albite afforded him more explanation; he'd begun narrowing his suspicions of which memory was watched. The mess helped, but the golden starseed had been the clincher. His gaze hardened when he looked at Albite, read his face. What a shaken thing, like he'd endured something rightly terrible, and his body didn't know how to let it leave. Held onto it like it was his burden to bear. Like he had as much right to it as Eion did, now that he'd experienced it.
He sweated terribly over it, too. Reaching back, Faustite ripped one of the split cape strips from his shoulder. After a few clever wraps around his hand, he brushed his knuckles gentle against Albite's forehead and cheeks. The fabric wicked away the sweat well enough, and deadened more heat from his hand.
"It does," he answered as he mopped up the rest of the sweat. "You learn to control yourself better. To turn yourself off to it." Should've given his boy a better warning.
"Must've seen Schörl and Tiberius, in the parking garage. Was a Captain then. Knight broke my wrist — one or both — and I was still badly addicted to starseeds. Obstinance didn't mean much to her." And his attention canted for that, only to return to the boy's face.
"Take you to your place."
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Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2022 7:32 am
'Obstinance' - Eion was sick and hurt and -- she'd made a game of it. Waru didn't have words, he knew; lacked the vocabulary to describe any of it properly. Followed that initial realization up with a second -- because there were no words. There could never be 'words' that imparted the same things the experience had. Even if he was only living it second hand, a man watching a slideshow from too close and with feelings.
It could never be the same for him as it was for Faustite. The way he made statements about details from that moment, like it wasn't the worst thing - like he was reading it out of a book. His book.
"Good, I dunno if I wanna get too used to it, but damn...It's something to work on, right? If I'm gonna be any use while playing hopscotch in other peoples mind-ponds." he needed to, what was it --- ware splash -- A snort and shudder, Albite tossed his head like he could chase her voice free that way. Except, yeah, no, that was sticking, staying. However did one shake a demon like that? All those soft smiles and gentle touches - all that threat. Trying to think around it was like trying to work the logistics out on how to have a good time with a woodchipper.
Bad times were assured for all involved, except the woodchipper.
He wondered if he must've looked terribly ill, ashen, to earn Eion's gentle touches. To press into them like a thing of longing. It ate at his soft, squishy center, how easily Faustite tore at his own things in order to offer up care. It was sweet. He loved him, loved the offer of home and that his boy would give up his day just to deal with his second-hand bullshit.
He wanted to tell him that it was fine, and okay, and he didn't have to -- Felt those words die as quickly as he could spit out "Kay.." some gnawing hunted thing that passed his face and demanded he take that goodness and swallow it whole, absorb it greedily for himself. If it left none for the rest of the world? So be it. Faustite was his and for the next few hours he'd monopolize him as best he could. "...I'm sorry too, that I saw without asking? S'just..wanted to thank you for that." tacked on with haste, panic that had to be spoken as truth; even while he wrapped his arms round the bound parts of Faustites middle. He felt the heat banked beneath the magical leather that kept it from turning him into a living blister. He wasn't likely to let go anytime soon.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2022 2:42 pm
The mixed metaphor was appropriately Albite; he could only roll his eyes for it. "Find you a better target next time. A subordinate." As much as anyone could be better, could have softer memories. Some of them simply had fewer, like Alkmene, but that hadn't guaranteed any goodness. He never asked Haru about the past when they were together. It was easy enough to assume that, since he tossed his known life to the wayside for this one, he hadn't cared for the way things were.
Likely, Hina shared some part of that. Raised together, they would've shared the same home life. She hadn't spoken of it, either.
Nembus would've been good for it. Lysithea, even better. But they were both gone, now, and no one took their place.
Faustite scoffed, even as he shifted his grip on Albite into a loose hug. Easier on the wrist to lock his fingers together, gently, at Albite's back. Over the miles of dreads that found their way onto the floor, coiled like rope, like a nest of vipers. "Told you there was no choosing. Don't apologize for things beyond your control." Unsaid was the you knew it could hurt; you've no right to act surprised.
Before his boy could run his mouth further, Faustite recreated Waru's dingy living room in his mind's eye. From he coffee table that he sat on time and again, to the shitty couch with its hidden shotgun, to the perpetually torn up floor. In time with the visuals were the smells — the place usually smelled like cooking, either takeout brought home or some recipe Waru scraped together enough time to cook. Other times, it smelled like he'd found someone to get busy with, or like he mopped the place down with bleach, or the scent of his shampoo and shower gel rolled lazily into the middle space.
hen they were gone — vanished off to make newer, better memories.
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