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 Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2022 4:46 pm
Michael glanced up at Devyn with uncertainty, not because he didn’t think that Devyn could be responsible, but because there were so many things that could go wrong.
“I never sleep well,” he admitted with a sigh, but took another bite of his sandwich because maybe he really had been hungry. “Too many things to think about. Whether I want to or not.” Like how it was probably his fault that his father had been killed. If he hadn’t gone after Aquamarine…
“You’re looking for Sessrumnir.” It wasn’t a question. It was what he would have done in Devyn’s situation. He would want to find if maybe there was someone else by that name since there was obviously a new Valhalla and new Ganymede.
Michael’s hand reached to the necklace under his shirt again, and drew in a deep breath. He was going to miss, well… all of this. The necklace helped ground him. He found it incredibly easy to talk to Devyn. And maybe he was lonely. Now that Devyn was sitting across from him, the almost three months seemed even more unbearable.
“I think you should have this,” Michael said finally, pulling on the delicate chain so he could take the orb out from under his shirt. “Ganymede told me what it was…or at least its significance, from what Liesel understood of it. I got it from some alien merchant who had all kinds of things. It was completely black when he had it, though. It looks nicer now.”
He held it out to Devyn to take, even though his heart felt like it was breaking. But it was just a necklace. It wasn’t the end of the world. It only felt like it was.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2022 7:32 pm
At first, Devyn didn’t move. He’d been caught off guard and there was unfiltered surprise on his face. His brows raised and his eyes widened just a bit, but even if he had been able to hide it, the necklace gave him away.
The steady pulse of light in the swirling golden orb changed pattern, and instead of the predictable pulse of a calm heart, it doubled in speed.
“A merchant?” he asked, both bitter and in disbelief. “Someone’s been looting Sessrumnir, then?”
He accepted the orb and drew it up to eye level to look at it. He hadn’t seen it in centuries, hadn’t held it since he’d left it with Percy’s other treasures.
To find in the next life, he’d hoped.
But to be pilfered?
“Unacceptable. I’ll have words with him if I ever find him. And I’ll have whatever else he’s robbed from there.”
The energy inside the orb was familiar to him. Clean, pure. He turned it to look at the glass, at the little metal fixings. Everything was still original, it hadn’t been tampered with. No dents, no scrapes.
The light inside began to ease a little bit.
He was still examining it when he asked, “What did Ganymede say about it?”
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2022 6:17 am
Michael had already figured out that the pulse from the necklace must have shared the beat of Devyn’s heart. Spending just those few days with him before made it obvious. And now just solidified it. Even as the orb left his hand, likely for the last time.
“Ganymede said Percy’s lover gave it to him. There was an exchange of jewelry, so I assume it was an engagement gift,” Michael said as he folded his arms on the table in front of him, watching Devyn and his expressions.
“I should have given it to you before. I’m sorry I kept it from you,” he said, sounding as guilty and sympathetic as he looked. He lowered his eyes to the last bites of his sandwich, which hasn’t been bad considering Devyn’s limited experience with Earth foods.
“I’m also sorry I withheld information from you… I’m… not usually good with trusting people very easily.” But it was easy with Devyn. Maybe because his starseed recognized him. Or maybe he wasn’t giving Devyn enough credit.
“You should be able to cross one thing off your lists though…” A pause. A breath of resignation.
“I’m Sessrumnir.” He couldn’t meet Devyn’s eye. He didn’t want to see anger or disappointment.
“I wasn’t planning on telling you. Not any time soon at least, but… dad said I should be honest with you. It was the last real conversation I had with him, so…”
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2022 10:56 am
Devyn had a flurry of emotions, none of which were possible to identify. His expression changed often, but it never stayed the same for long enough to get a good read on it. The necklace in his hand was the only indicator of his mood and it was erratic.
It didn’t have any sort of rhythm or predictability at all.
Seconds passed, or minutes. Devyn didn’t know, it felt like years, and then it felt like nothing at all.
He didn’t move. Didn’t breathe, didn’t blink.
He looked at Michael like he was waiting for what he’d said to make sense but it hadn’t.
A part of him didn’t know if he was just saying it, but that didn’t make sense. It was a lie he couldn’t follow through on; if he wasn’t Sessrumnir, Devyn would know as soon as he couldn’t transform into him. Michael didn’t seem like a liar–was he? Had he ever said he wasn’t a Knight?
Devyn had known he was involved in the war, his whole family was. But Michael hadn’t ever said he wasn’t.
He just hadn’t powered up while Devyn was around.
Which made sense. Michael had given him a bit of time before breaking the news that so much time had passed while he was away on Alastor. He’d given him a chance to ease into things, to get comfortable enough to trust where the information was coming from. If he’d powered up into Sessrumnir when Peter became Oberon, Devyn didn’t know what he’d have thought of it. He didn’t know what he’d have done.
Probably not reacted well.
Michael had done the smart thing. Was it a lie?
It was deception, but it didn’t feel malicious. He didn’t think Michael was a liar.
If it had been anyone else, maybe he would have been mad at him. Maybe he should be mad at him. But there was a part of Devyn that understood the delicacy of the situation, and it hadn’t worked out poorly so far.
Except, now he was sitting across from Michael, who was Sessrumnir, and had been all along.
And, Devyn didn’t know what to do about it.
He had questions. A lot of them. Too many to ask at once, but the thoughts were rapidly becoming scrambled in his mind.
There was probably a good place to start, but he didn’t stop to think about it. He just asked the first question that he could form out loud. “For how long?”
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2022 4:12 pm
Michael thought that was a fair question to start with. He could imagine that Devyn had a lot of questions. The only thing that was surprising was that he started with a question instead of an accusation. He hadn’t wanted to tell Devyn. He wanted to wait longer, to make sure he wasn’t rushing into things. Maybe try to find out what Devyn planned on doing once he found Sessrumnir.
“Ten… and a half years,” Michael frowned down at his arms and still unfinished sandwich. “Awakenings on Earth is a bit… chaotic. From what I understand, Senshi and Knights didn’t really start awakening until about twelve or so years ago. There’s no Knight Academy. All of the Worlds and Wonders we could reach were dead. Maybe some vegetation, but it wasn’t until very recently that other life started appearing. Paris mentioned seeing butterflies on Ganymede.”
Part of him wondered if he should stop talking. Maybe he should just answer the questions specifically asked by Devyn. But another part of him didn’t think it was fair. He’d withheld enough information as it was. Devyn deserved a little more than just answers.
“Chris awakened before I did. A few months… half a year, I’m not sure. Paris had already been awakened as Ganymede. Peter soon after me -- although he spent a little time as a cat,” he frowned and shook his head. “Some… Mauvian problem. It was very temporary. It wasn’t until just last year that mom and dad awakened… Paradise of Cosmos and Empyrean of Jupiter.”
He paused then, and cautioned a look up. Even if he didn’t see all of the expressions on Devyn’s face, he could feel the whirlwind of emotions. His own heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, despite his expression not changing from that of remorse.
“I’ve tried cleaning it up. Sessrumnir, I mean. It’s got running water again. I think the hot springs were mostly left untouched.”
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2022 5:11 pm
Devyn’s breathing was slow and deep, and though he was absolutely silent as he listened it was easy to tell that he was working very hard to keep himself under control. Instinct told him to get up, to pace. To move. To work out this sudden influx of emotions and energy.
He didn’t.
He didn’t want Michael to stop talking. He didn’t want to miss anything. His blood was rushing loudly enough in his ears right now, moving would only make that worse.
Ten years, and Michael was still alive. He must have been a good fighter, or he was good at being safe. His whole family seemed to have some sort of magic to back them up. Sessrumnir probably didn’t need protection, at least, and that was some sort of relief off of Devyn’s shoulders.
He didn't know what to feel; relief wasn’t quite right. It was there, swirling with a myriad of other emotions that had yet to untangle themselves from the vortex clogging up his mind.
Michael might have been Sessrumnir now but he needed to know about Percy.
He managed to keep his voice even and asked, “Is he there?”
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2022 5:24 pm
Another reason why Michael was hesitant in letting Devyn know that he was Sessrumnir. He didn’t want him to start thinking that he would get back what he’d lost. No matter what he wanted.
“I’m not Percy. I’m sorry,” Michael said quietly. And while he might not fully understand how Devyn felt, his voice still held the empathy of someone who had also lost those they cared deeply for.
“You’ve met Chris. You’ve met Paris… I know you knew Serge and Liesel. They’re different people, even if they share the same starseed. But I think you knew that already.”
From everything Michael knew about Senshi and Knights, Senshi were always reborn. Which meant Devyn likely knew of his own past lives. Maybe he wanted to be a direct reincarnation -- the same as who he was before, but Michael thought it would be cruel for Percy to have to live his life. Not that his life was all that horrible, but he wouldn’t want to share those experiences. Especially not with someone who seemed to be genuinely kind and sweet like Percy.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2022 5:37 pm
Michael answered a different question than Devyn had asked, but he drew the same conclusion regardless.
Percy was gone. This, he knew, and accepted, in different forms. Of course a part of him–the selfish part–wanted the Percy he knew to still be there, in some capacity. But, there was no ghost haunting Sessrumnir, no remnant of him to be miserable and alone for a thousand years.
He should have taken some solace in that. He had already mourned for Percy. It was news, but neither good nor bad.
He had been reborn, like the rest of them.
Devyn nodded, maybe to Michael. Maybe to himself. Maybe at nothing.
“Do you have any memories of him not given to you by someone else?”
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2022 6:09 pm
“Some,” Michael admitted. Part of him felt even more guilty that he didn’t have a lot of memories about Percy. But another part of him was afraid of what he would learn about someone who had died so long ago.
Before now, there hadn’t been a reason to try and learn more about Percy. He existed, and maybe Michael was afraid of what memories the next Sessrumnir would get. Maybe they wouldn’t get any, and that would be a relief.
In that same line of thought, it felt intrusive to pay too close attention to the memories that presented themselves to him.
“I recognized you from one of his memories, while visiting Valhalla. But I don’t have many. I might get more if I spend more time there. Usually it’s with a specific purpose, so I don’t have time to sit and wait for memories. Or I’m focusing on something and miss them,” he suggested, which was entirely possible if he was too busy cursing under his breath about why the plumbing was messed up.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2022 7:00 pm
This, Devyn understood. He’d resisted many of the memories of his previous self, but from what he’d seen there wasn’t much worth seeing. He didn’t want to be that person and had little he wanted to learn from him.
Percy was different. Percy was worth knowing. But that wasn’t something he could decide for Michael, and it certainly wasn’t something he could force him to understand. He nodded again but this time it was with less conviction.
Every answer could have sent him down a different train of thought, and the questions that had seemed so important before were pushed back and replaced with new questions.
Michael wasn’t Percy. This was a fundamental, basic truth. Devyn knew this. But Michael was his only connection to him. Maybe Chris would have some memories, but if Ganymede was missing, that was out of the question. Ganymede seemed to have some, and he felt a very demanding urge to find her now partly because he wanted to be useful and partly because he just wanted to ask.
But that was a plan for another day. Michael was here now.
And Michael was Sessrumnir.
It still hadn’t quite sunk in. He looked at his empty plate.
He looked at what was left of Michael’s sandwich.
He’d only been here for a moment, but he felt his head starting to spin. Not as bad as it had been the last time he’d had to face some other world-shattering revelation.
“Would you mind if I went to go sit on your porch for a moment?”
Just a moment. Just to breathe. Just to get his bearings again.
He wasn’t going to leave. He didn’t want to leave.
The little golden necklace in his hand was still pulsing wildly in his hand but he didn’t uncurl his fingers from around it. His grip wasn’t strong enough to break it, but it wasn’t strong enough to hide the light, either.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2022 7:21 pm
Michael expected Devyn to leave. To find somewhere else to stay now that he knew Michael was Sessrumnir. Well, maybe it was still difficult for him to accept, and Michael still didn’t know if honesty had been the best choice. Maybe he should have waited longer. He could see the way his answers were affecting Devyn. He could see the way the orb pulsed with light, even as Devyn continued to hide how he felt behind calm expressions.
“Not at all,” Michael said, still resigned. It was better this way, he decided. Devyn could take the orb and go back to Alastor, hopefully after collecting more supplies, or he could find somewhere else to stay on Earth. There were plenty of people who would be willing to help.
He opened his mouth to say… something. But then shut it, because what was there to say? Goodbye? Maybe a plea for him to rest at least until daylight? Maybe to tell him to get in contact with Peter, who would have more connections, surely.
Maybe his father would have been proud of him for being honest, not that it mattered in the end.
He waited for Devyn to rise from his seat before standing, himself. He took the empty plate from in front of Devyn, and his own, to bring over to the sink. He didn’t get rid of his sandwich, but instead took another couple bites. After all, he understood the need to be alone…
If that was what Devyn wanted.
Again, Michael opened his mouth. Did Devyn want to be alone? Or did he just need a moment to breathe? He couldn’t bring himself to ask. Michael was just a reminder of someone precious that Devyn had lost. Devyn was better off without that reminder being forced on him.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he said instead.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2022 7:31 pm
Devyn felt weightless as he rose and he nodded a bit even after Michael had turned his back. He didn’t know what he needed. He didn’t know if he’d be able to ask when he figured it out. His mouth was dry but his stomach was churning and that damned dizziness was making it hard to focus on anything but falling over.
“Thank you.”
It felt too short. Devyn thought it was too brief, too empty.
He’d meant the words, but he didn’t want to leave on those, even if it was only for a few moments.
“For everything, again. For the food and hospitality, and for telling me the truth. I’ll try not to keep you up too late.”
He’d be back soon. Days and weeks couldn’t go by while he was sitting on the porch.
He just needed to sort his thoughts. Or, at least, figure out which ones were most important and which ones could wait until later.
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