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 Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2022 7:51 pm
If he hadn’t seen Lysithea a second before, he wouldn’t have believed it was her. He wanted to say that he could see Cambria in her face, but she could have been anyone.
Thinking that there was some part of her that would have known who he was when she came back was stupid. Cambria was gone. Anything they’d had was gone.
When he was hunting the Negaverse he’d known the risks. He knew that he could get hurt. He knew he could make enemies. He knew she might not agree with his methods.
He’d done it alone for a reason. She had Ilse. She had Soleiyu. She had Malcolm, and Evan. Ahri and Tobias. She had somewhere safe to be. She had people who could take care of her, and people who had the means to make sure she had a future.
She was out of the Negaverse. They couldn’t bend her to their will. She wasn’t under there thumb. She could be herself.
He didn’t like how close she still was to Faustite, still. That was going to be a problem again, he could already tell. She had her blinders on, she didn’t want to think about who he was. What he was.
She was looking for answers that didn’t matter. If he told her that he was looking for her because they were dating? Because he was in love with her? Because he’d had the ring picked out for months and had just been waiting for the right time? Because he used to be in the Negaverse and didn’t want her subjected to that?
What was she going to do with that information, hate him more?
He’d done this to make sure she was okay. He wanted her to be able to free herself.
And, she had.
So that was it, then. This was over. She was out.
Whatever plans he’d hoped to have afterwards hinged on her remembering him. Anything of him. But, she didn’t.
He was a stranger to her. Or, worse, a ******** a*****e.
His voice stayed even when he finally answered her.
“I’m not. I had a debt to pay, and now it’s paid. You should go home.”
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2022 7:58 pm
Talia blinked at him, frowning slightly. “Oh. I mean. All right then.” So, he was just some jerk. Some jerk who…had a debt to pay? What did that even mean?
“What kind of a debt? And to who? I don’t understand.” She bit back the retort that she didn’t have a home. Didn’t have some place that she felt at home. Didn’t really feel like she had anything, to be honest.
The damn tears were still gathering in her eyes, and again Talia reached up to brush them away, growing angrier with the fact that they didn’t seem to want to stop. This wasn’t the time, and this wasn’t the person to show weakness around. This angry, hostile stranger.
“I don’t…understand. The least you can do is give me a straight answer, after almost killing my brother.”
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:38 pm
He didn’t like seeing her cry. He wanted to reassure her. He wanted to tell her it was okay, to tell her the truth. But what was that going to accomplish? Give her something to regret?
“I used to be in the Negaverse. You helped me out. Made it possible for me to turn over a new leaf. You’ve done a lot, for a lot of people. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. I don’t know what else you want me to say. I wanted to right a wrong. I wanted you to be safe. You didn’t get a choice in this, they made it for you. Took you from the life you had. They didn’t deserve you.”
Maybe he hadn’t, either.
After all of this, she still cared about Faustite. Maybe none of it would make sense to her. But at least she could choose what she did now.
He just wished she'd stop choosing him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:55 pm
”Oh…” Talia nodded and wrapped her arms over her chest, shivering slightly. “Well…I’m glad I was able to help you…but violence is never the answer…truly. All it does is bring pain to all involved…all it does is hurt…there is so much pain already…the world is a mess…so you should try to put good into it, don’t you think?”
She tried to smile, but it didn’t last, nor did it reach her eyes. “I hope you find happiness, and I’m glad chaos hasn’t taken you back. Thank you for worrying about me.” Turning, Talia shivered again, trying to stop her teeth from chattering as she began to slowly walk in the general direction of where she thought Evan’s house might be.
It wasn’t home, but it was as close as she could come to one.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2022 10:01 pm
He watched her for only a second before he’d made up his mind. The idea had been to just disappear. Just break away. She didn’t have to know who he was, what he was. What he’d been to her. But she looked half frozen and he couldn’t just send her on her way like that. He wasn’t even sure he could trust that Faustite wouldn’t have his cronies here trying to scoop her up again.
“You don’t have to pretend like you’re fine.”
Her smile wasn’t convincing. He didn’t know who she was trying to lie to, him or herself. He thought it seemed like a waste of energy.
He powered down. His mask was still up, and he was dressed in the clothes he’d recently become accustomed to wearing when he went out. He preferred to be discreet, dressed in all black. Boots, gloves, jacket. He could easily pull the hood up and leave most of his features obscured.
It was cold enough that he didn’t pull down the mask but he did pull of the jacket. “Take this,” he said, and walked to her so he could hand it over. “For someone who thinks violence isn’t the answer, you were pretty quick to hit me.” Maybe it wasn’t always the answer, but it definitely was sometimes.
But then, sometimes it just felt good, too.
“I don’t think I was made to bring good into the world. I tried that before and it didn’t work out so well. So I’m back on the same bullshit.”
He was tired. Every ache and pain had doubled since he’d last taken stock of them. Lysithea was back, though. He could rest. He didn't have to worry that she was losing herself. Didn’t have to worry that she was getting hurt.
“I don’t have to walk you home, but let me make sure you get out of here safely. You can call a friend if you’d rather they come pick you up. But it’s dangerous to be out this late.”
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2022 10:55 am
Talia hesitated and took the offered jacket, pulling it around herself and wrapping it tightly. It was warm…that was nice. “I was angry. I understand that violence can happen when you’re angry…but that doesn’t mean I like it. I don’t like that I did it, to be honest. It makes me feel sick.”
She wiped her eyes again and paused, looking up at the still unnamed man. “I hope you understand that by giving me this jacket, it’s going to get tears, and maybe snot on it…because no, I’m not really okay. I’m so tired. And confused and I keep wondering if everyone here is lying to me like Faustite did. Everyone knows me and that is so hard to deal with when you don’t know yourself…”
She hugged the coat a little closer, inhaling the smell that came from it. It was familiar. Nice. Safe.
“...Who are you? You still haven’t given me your name. I’m…um. I’m Talia now. And I wouldn’t mind being walked back. I’m not going to lie, I’m sure that I can find my way but. Truthfully I’m not so sure.”
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2022 1:30 pm
Zac knew he wasn’t ready for this conversation. There was probably some smarter way to do it, some way not to ruin whatever Evan and Malcolm and Soleiyu had been working on. But, he was tired. He’d been working for so long. He’d been pushing himself for so long.
He couldn’t remember taking a break, couldn’t remember resting, since the Negaverse had taken her.
And now, she was here. Or, some version of her was here. Not Cambria.
She seemed lost and confused and overwhelmed. He didn’t blame her. He just wasn’t good at dealing with emotions like that. He never had been. He wasn’t the best thing for her right now. Or maybe ever.
“Just stay close. This way,” he said, and started off down the fastest route home. He didn’t seem to care what happened to the jacket; it could go through the wash. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if he never saw it again. Despite the cold, he hardly seemed affected without the extra layer.
“I doubt they’re lying to you. Maybe Evan could swing it if you caught him while he was in a mood. The cat could, he’s sneaky like that. Malcolm couldn’t. His ears turn red and he starts squirming. Cambria was important to them. I don’t know what they’ve told you or what they’re holding back on. Cambria, Evan and I used to work at a bar together. He got youmafied, she was pretty passionate about saving him. She and Malcolm got close. Kinda pissed me off a little, but Malcolm and I never had the best relationship. We’re okay, now. You don’t have to try and be her. They’re going to remember her, but they’re going to want to help you. So don’t force yourself into anything. Just do what feels natural. Figure out who you are and just know you’ve got people to fall back on while you’re figuring it out. That’s what they’re good for, they’re the emotional ones. Bleeding hearts and all.”
He didn’t want to introduce himself. He didn’t want to give her another name.
He was Michel, who had been terrorizing the Negaverse. Who had been shaking things up to try and get her out.
Zac felt like an afterthought. Especially because she didn’t know him. Didn’t know anything they’d had. Didn’t know anything they’d done. Anything they’d been.
“My name is Zac,” he said. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked. That was it, nothing else. Just a name.
He wasn’t even sure who he was beyond that right now
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2022 2:16 pm
Talia was quiet for a long moment, following him and thinking over his words before she managed to really find what she wanted to say. “...Zac like, the one who’s room I’m sleeping in? Though, Evan mentioned that it was our room…”
She sighed, hugging the jacket a little closer and falling silent again. “I can sleep on the couch so you don’t have to give up the room. Or, I can sleep on the floor of the room if Ilse is on the couch, it’s not a bother. I’ll get an apartment for a while, I think…just so…I can have my own space, and that way you won’t have to be uncomfortable with a stranger in your room. Or your bed…”
She was a stranger. Talia was a stranger to all of them, and to herself. It wasn’t fair. Wasn’t she simply putting them through constant pain of who she had been? Of missing who she would never be able to be again?
With sound that was caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob, she shook her head. “...How angry would Soleiyu be if I got a cat. Like a normal cat who didn’t talk and put his face on everything…?”
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2022 3:10 pm
“Stop it.”
His voice was firm but not cruel.
“You’re getting yourself upset about things I haven’t even said. If you want to get an apartment, you can, but you’re not going to find one tonight so don’t start thinking about all those negative things. You’re just gonna spiral, and then you’re going to go to bed upset. I don’t care if you want to stay in the bedroom, take it. For as long as you need. If you don’t want to be in the house, I’m not going to beg you to stay. You know what you need more than anyone else. You’re not Cambria. You’re not going to be her again. Maybe you’re a jigsaw puzzle with all the same pieces but they’re not going to fit together exactly the way they did for her. Everyone knows, no one’s upset at you for it. They want to be there to help you find the pieces and let you put them back together however you want. Would Soleiyu be upset if you got a cat? Maybe. But he’s not a cat, he just looks like one. If you move out, you’ll just get towels with his face on them, and a bed setting to match, and he’ll come over all the time just to do it. He’ll get over it, stop thinking about him and start thinking about yourself.”
Maybe he said it too roughly. But, Zac was rough. An acquired taste. He didn’t have it in him to sugar coat anything anymore.
He wanted to be gentle for her. He wanted to be reassuring. He wanted to coddle her. But she was getting all of that from the others, he knew that. He knew them. She didn’t need a chorus of people parroting the same thing to her. If that was going to work, it would have worked already.
“I’m hardly even at the house, it’s not like you have to worry about displacing me. If you want to move out and find yourself, you’ll have whatever support you need. Right now it sounds like you’re stretching yourself too thin if you’re trying to be what you think everyone else wants you to be. Just do what makes you happy. You’ve earned that, haven’t you?”
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2022 3:43 pm
Talia’s mouth snapped shut and she shrugged. “How would I have earned that? I’ve earned nothing.” She fell quiet after that, keeping her head down as she watched her feet moving.
It wasn’t until they were back at the house that she managed to look up again. “This is your home, you should stay here. Don’t remove yourself for my sake. That would only make me feel worse than I already do.”
Shrugging out of his jacket, Talia held it out for Zac once again. “Besides. If you’re not here, how are we going to get to know each other again. I’m not Cambria. And you’re right. I won’t ever be. But. Maybe one day you’ll all like Talia too.”
Giving one last sniffle, Talia swiped at her eyes with her jacket free sleeve and then made her way into the house, going right for the bathroom and locking herself in, allowing her to finally just sob her heart out under cover of the sound of the shower running.
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