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 Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2021 6:47 pm
“You’re more than a husk, Nembus.” Even as the words left Cybele’s mouth, she knew that she probably wouldn’t have believed them herself a few months ago. It was still a struggle to believe it, sometimes, now, even as she was settling into a routine that was much closer to a normal person’s life than living in the Negaverse barracks had been. On the bad days, it was painfully obvious that her identity had been made up and that she was living with someone else’s family. The good days were usually filled with assurances from that family and her other friends, though, and so Cybele tried to pass that on to Nembus. “Things were taken from you that should not have been, it’s true, but you’re still a person. You’re still thoughtful, and very kind considering the amount of Chaos you’re dealing with.” She even smiled, although the expression flickered when Nembus started becoming visibly upset. At that point, Cybele went silent for a few moments, her fingers curling tight around the concrete of the curb. “It’s hard to know what will come next, in war,” she said, her own voice tight with a heaviness she couldn’t quite explain. “I’m guessing that makes it difficult to keep blanket promises, sometimes.” Cybele took a breath, and then her words came out stronger. “But I can promise you, Nembus, that you’ll have all my strength at your back and all the support I can offer from as long as I have strength and support to give.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2021 11:55 pm
Nembus wasn't sure she believed that. She had been gutted for everything she was and left as a shell of a person with a name and a birthday and nothing else. She had done her best to shovel in memories and thoughts and ideas and concepts and history and pictures and stories since then, but she was still attempting to fill in a hole. Cybele was right -- things were perhaps taken from her that shouldn't have been. There was a part of her that wondered if it would have been better if Marcasite had just given that former self what she truly wanted. The compliment hardly broke through as she thought of the tragedy, of the loss, and she closed her eyes hard as she thought of Sedna, the gaping hole that she thought she had been filling in that was now empty once again. Just like so much else, she thought she had a grip on it. She wasn't convinced she would see Cybele again. Wasn't convinced she'd see Kurma again. Worried every time she thought about Phaethon that the last time was the last. Chaos was at least ... consistent. Least resistanceShe opened her eyes slowly, blinking them blearily at Cybele as she made her promise. A promise, but not a blanket one. One swearing that she would be there. It felt like something that she couldn't depend on. It felt like something that was honest considering their situation, considering the fact that this was a war, a war to protect the planet from invaders -- or expel them. Nembus hardly understood. Chaos mixed things up. Obscured. The sigh she let out was shaky. "I appreciate your words. And the acknowledgment of what this is." Several people kept implying she could leave. That perhaps she should leave. That perhaps she should give it all up right now and vanish into the arms of whatever would be there for her on the other side. Her planet, she supposed. 51 Andromedae. But it seemed so hard to walk away from that. She found herself gripping the edge of the roof so hard her knuckles turned white. "I'll keep it in mind." Her voice was weak.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2021 5:56 pm
Inside of her chest, Cybele's heart still broke. It took more effort than it had before to keep her face carefully blank, and especially to keep her voice carefully level. "That's all I can ask," she said. "That you keep it in mind." It wasn't. Cybele wanted, so badly, to take her by the hand tonight and show her the way home, to Ganymede and the others, to a place where she did not have to worry about the effects that the Chaos was having on her head. It didn't work that way, though. Nembus was still up there, on her distant roof, not making any moves. If Cybele took her by the hand right now, it would be to drag her, and that wasn't any good. The thought of forcing farther starseed damage on someone, even if it was technically purification, made Cybele's stomach twist. Nembus would have to make her own choices, and that meant that Cybele would have to be patient, as much as she hated it. That meant she had to risk the fact that that Chaos would win, and that Nembus would be twisted into something that she would have to fight. Cybele wasn't sure how Ganymede and Alya had done this part, the part where they walked away. "I suppose if you're not going to kill me, I should head out so you don't get caught not killing me," said Cybele, standing. The small smile she flashed took a surprising amount of strength to manage.
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Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2021 8:31 pm
How did they walk away? How did they keep trying? Perhaps it was part of the reason why Sedna had not bothered to meet with her over such a long time. Perhaps it wasn't war but the fact that Nembus seemed to be nothing more than a hopeless fool. Nembus' chuckle was short. She'd keep it in mind. It was all Cybele asked, and perhaps, it was all Nembus was capable. Over three years of this and she still didn't feel more inclined to make a choice one way or the other. Over three years of this and she was still... There, in black, where she had been forced, because it was the easiest and most obvious thing to do, because it was what she knew, because it was the only thing she knew. It was good Cybele didn't think to drag her. If Ganymede or anyone else had tried, the Chaos wouldn't leave Nembus' heart. There was no conviction. Only confusion. "Hm?" Her eyes lifted from the roof that she was quite nearly strangling, glancing to Cybele. The laugh she gave this time was hollow. Airy. "Ah, yeah. Or at the very least, not caught not at least calling Spec Ops." Nembus' lips quirked in the faintest of smiles. "Some things feel instinctual, but my fighting skills are a bit lacking as former Infiltration." Nembus finally made a move: to stand up, to back up, standing awkwardly a bit further away on the roof. "I spend a lot of my time powered up on roofs. Harder to see here." She glanced around the area, before adding, "Usually in this district. If you see me again, feel free to seek me out. I've missed talking to people who understand what it's like to lose your whole life." Nembus gathered her arms to herself. "Or don't. That's fine too."
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2021 3:02 pm
Watching the cloud of long, pale, hair vanish behind the line of the rooftop wasn't easy. Hearing the hollow laughter and the lack of commitment to anything at all was somehow harder. At least when the senshi was out of sight, Cybele let go of some of whatever it had been that she'd been holding in. Her shoulders drooped. Her breath came more heavily. She couldn't call out that she was scared of heights, that it would be difficult for her to look on rooftops, especially if Nembus was trying to hide. That was one of her weaknesses that she didn't think the Negaverse had records on, and she was determined to keep it that way for as long as she could. She hoped that if she stuck to street level, it wouldn't seem as if she'd forgotten this conversation. She could come back to this area, though. That was fine. Tight-lipped, she nodded at the empty space where the corrupt had been sitting moments earlier. "I will find you," she called out, a final promise. Then she turned and vanished into the streets.
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2021 10:10 pm
I will find you. Nembus glanced over her shoulder at the nothing she could see as the footsteps retreated from the roofs, and she sighed, slumped, glanced out to the night ahead of her. What was she doing? What was she doing here? Another someone who understood. Maybe Cybele would find her, after all. Maybe Cybele and she would meet back up in a way that it seemed Sedna and her were unfortunately never able to. A way that she had tried with some of those of Order. She sighed, resolved to stop thinking about it, and vanished into the night.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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