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scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
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 Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 6:28 pm
[8/10]
Goddess, but Ygraine hated when he cried. She only wanted him to smile - but ... she also loved that he was here with her at all, sharing his feelings instead of being scary and blank like he'd been just minutes ago. It was a relief, really - and she relaxed even more. Her stern face broke a bit with relief and an adoring look when he first spoke, her heart soothed by his reassurances, and without thinking she brought his hand up to her mouth, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles.
But then he continued, and she blinked at him, stunned at first. Oh. Oh... "Asa..." She murmured, her gaze softening, heart tugging painfully. 'When' he died. maybe she was still in denial, reassured by the strength he'd had in the past few months, but... but.
That was true - he might not even live to see... them... be born. "Hey." She interjected, suddenly, her voice a bit sharp as he continued down a self deprecating path. Maybe it was his parents' voice, still whispering nastily in his ear, but that didn't mean she'd happily let him repeat those things to himself out loud. "It's not 'limited' - and... of course I need you. Of course I want you here, with me, doing this together."
Ygraine shuffled closer, and a bit shyly drew him into her arms, squeezing him against her, taking full advantage of how small he was to just - encircle him, while being careful enough that he could still breath.
"But if something happens - I won't be alone. I have a huge family, and - it won't be the same, I know that, but... even if they turn out like you, we're going to love them all the same for whatever time we get. You'd never make them feel the way your parents did, would you?"
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 6:41 pm
They may have extended his life by bringing him further south, but neither of them could deny the fact that Asa was never meant for a long life. However...that didn't necessarily meant he couldn't have a fulfilling one, with everything that any other person could experience.
Her sharp voice pulled him back and caused his breath to hitch out of surprise. At first he held back from her, still hesitant about all of this, but there was something about her energy that drew him in. He snuggled up close to her, allowing Ygraine to sooth his worries when really it should have been the other way around. He needed to be strong - for her, for them - but sometimes it was just harder than he could cope with.
"Never." His tone was outright vehement when he said it despite the near gravely way his voice came out. "I won't - I'll try my hardest to make sure I'm a good father." He turned his gaze up to her and for the first time a little smile slipped out. "...I don't...think I've ever even held a baby before."
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scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 6:51 pm
[9/10]
Ygraine would draw strength from whatever denial she had, because - it was helping her get through this. And what she was saying was true - if Asa died soon, she'd still want to know that this time together had happened. Maybe it was... selfish, to bring a child into the world asking them to hold their father's memory on their shoulders - but...
People had had children for more selfish reasons. And - they'd make sure the baby was loved. So, so loved.
That was the stance Ygraine was going to take, because whatever options they had to end it - she couldn't go through with them, so there was no use thinking about them.
Ygraine could only smile in response, proud and admittedly giddy that he was swinging over to a happier stance on this whole thing.
"... I don't know if I have either." She admitted, laughing weakly. Asa and Ygraine still hadn't managed to make it back to Jauhar, where her little siblings were still little - this was already starting out so well.
"We should really, really get to Jauhar as soon as we can." She pointed out, a bit weakly, ending the suggestion with a somewhat tremulous laugh.
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 7:00 pm
"No more sight seeing then." It was lucky enough for them that Jauhar was close. For all their easy travel they'd managed to make decent progress so they would be able to get settled relatively quickly just in time for - for the birth??? Is that where his child would be born; in the jungle? The elitist in Asa was worried about foreign diseases and of the tree houses he'd been told stories of, but he tamped that down. There was already enough to worry about without adding in more things they couldn't fight.
Squeezing her hand, Asa maneuvered in her lap just enough to be able to comfortably look at Ygraine. And...almost selfishly, he placed his hand above her currently flattened stomach once more for a 'look'. The feeling was still enough to spook him, but not enough to completely deter Asa. If anything it was...almost calming. That he had been able to create something that someone else valued.
"Do you think that - perhaps - we could take a nap before making anymore plans?"
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scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 8:49 pm
[10/10]
Right. No more sight seeing. Ygraine felt her smile fall just a bit at that, but - but no - it wouldn't be forever. It would just be until they felt comfortable with... everything - and knew the baby was alright, and... yes. Not forever. Ygraine propped her chin against Asa's shoulder, smothering a smile against it as he turned to use the spell again.
And... given how exhausted she was from crying -- "That sounds... fantastic."
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