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 Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 7:07 pm
Priam glanced back at Yu and for all the embarrassment he'd felt, it seemed to slip away. The smile that grew on his face stayed and he laughed, tucking his bangs behind his ear as he shook his head.
"Thank you, Yu. That was very kind. Though, I can't imagine you being useless. I admit, I hope they stay this cute. And that you'll be able to see them grow. Slowly! I don't want to wake up to a hundred and sixty pounds on me in a week or a month. But...Maybe they'll be able to replace the other memories you have. That's the new thing I'm trying, just letting the old memories go and filling the hole with better ones." He rocked on his heels just slightly, seeming a bit relieved to have a moment to relax while the dogs got their attention. He wasn't used to all this running around and, for as much as he enjoyed it, he was still rusty.
"It's not easy, but I suppose the important things never are."
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 7:27 pm
“Even-“ He started, hesitating and then continued. “Even if it can’t replace it, you can still hold the two things in mind. It might make the bad less… “ He trailed off again, searching for the right word. “Powerful, I guess.” He finished. “Trust me, though; I have a pretty good grasp on when I can be of any help.” He gave a smile that had no real joy in it. “I think you never lose the bad ones; you just figure out what makes them livable.” He didn’t say the other half of that thought, the ‘or not’ that had nearly eaten him alive a few too many times in his life. He thought probably he didn’t need to.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 8:17 pm
Priam nodded and seemed to genuinely be considering his words. Finally, he spoke, "Some memories aren't worth keeping, I think. I wish I could undo some of the choices in my life. I would have been happier if I'd had the chance to get out of making bad decisions and sticking with them for so long. But. Who knows how the world works? I don't believe that things happen for a reason. It might be reassuring for some people, but."
His lips pursed and he seemed contemplative. "I just don't think that's fair. And it doesn't make me feel better. I wish I was more in control of what power some memories had. But the best I can do is to hold both the good and the bad and try to make the bad less powerful. Maybe the bad ones lingering aren't so bad if you can learn from them. But." Another sigh; he knelt down to pet the pups. Odie turned to meet him and was immediately sniffing, trying to find a treat, but Penny had closed her eyes and folded her ears back, relishing in Yu's attention.
"It's not fair for those bad memories to get credit for anything. I think some people would get too much satisfaction that you're still thinking about them." He seemed almost bitter but rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Ah. But you know, I could ramble about such things for far too long. I can't imagine you want to spend your lunch break dwelling on the bad things! Besides, this weather is too good to sulk." He smiled up at Yu as he rubbed Odie's back. "And you're young. We're both young. Plenty of time to make good memories. I haven't forgotten about movie night. Sterling says he'll have some free time soon."
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 8:27 pm
“Memories are what make us.” he shrugged. “It makes us like… older and younger too. But you shouldn’t regret being you… just, the fact you’re willing to make those changes means you can change. He hesitated and then stood up. “I've got like… another hour before my second shift starts if you need to talk. Like, I know its not dwelling; sometimes, you just need someone who gets it or gets close to getting it, you know? So you can leave things unsaid, and they can fill in the blanks. Maybe the understanding won’t be perfect but, its closer, and that's good sometimes?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 8:44 pm
"You're very wise, Yu," he smiled, adjusting so he had a better grip on the leashes as the dogs sat up eagerly, wagging at this exciting new thing Yu was doing, like they'd never seen someone stand up before.
"I appreciate that offer. Sometimes I don't think I want to talk about things. And then I find myself skirting around it, like the topic's begging to be broached. I'd like to make the same offer. If you ever need to talk, or anything. Of course, I don't know if I could talk in earnest, now. The dogs are very distracting."
Odie was trying to walk around Yu, so Priam had to tug his leash back to stop him from getting them tangled up.
"But, I think I'd like that, sometime. To sit down and talk with you. You're surprisingly easy to speak with. I don't feel like I can be earnest so often, but this was nice. Although, if you'd like we could always walk around a bit. You could even walk Penny for a bit if you wanted. Or," he smiled and just laughed, "I could let you rest before you go back to work! I imagine it's busy, and I know what it's like to be on your feet for a shift. Or two!"
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:02 pm
“Another time.” He nodded. “We can grab a … beer or a cinnamon bun, something.” He shrugged. “I… I appreciate the offer. I… Think you’re alright. I get what Sterling sees in you.” Why it was so much easier to talk to Sterling, or even to find a compliment he couldn’t say, but it was. “We’ll have to plan next time you um, come by for dinner if you want to be in the kitchen and what you like to eat and all. Except for lobster, I draw the line at Lobster.” He flashed a grin.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:17 pm
Yu's grin was contagious and Priam matched it, laughing and nodded. "No lobster. I'll save what dignity I have, anything that involves shells guarantees a mess from me. But if it's a matter of making dinner, you should have Sterling text me a list of ingredients. I can pick them up from the store and bring them over. If you do most of the hard work, I'm more than happy to bring the ingredients and help with the basics. To be honest, I'd very much like to taste your cooking as you intend it. But, whatever you like could be fun. And, Sterling can make Chocolate Lava Cake."
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:22 pm
There was a strange look on Yu’s face for a moment, a combination of so many things that it was hard to pin down, but he did at last nod, swallowing whatever he might have said to articulate even a fraction of that expression. “Yeah, we can do that. I, I like cooking.” He admitted, “Its nice, you know people don’t go hungry, and if you’re lucky, they enjoy it too.” He glanced down at his boots. “I can also try making a meal out of whatever you bring. I try and make sure we have basics so that I can fill most any gap. Just… if you get big meat anything, then you have to show up early, deal?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:39 pm
He was trying to read Yu, but it was difficult. He suspected there was more to him than he'd ever see, but he didn't feel the need to push or pry. He said enough with what he did say, and more with what he didn't.
"Deal, of course. I've gotten complacent with small, simple meals for one. I'd love to do things a little bigger every now and then. I can't imagine anything that sounds better than dinner with friends. If I think of something I want to try, I'll text Sterling to pass the message along. But you have to promise the same, if there's something you want to try, send me a list of what you need, when you need it."
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:56 pm
He nodded; it was a jerk of a thing, like the very action caught against some of those things he hadn’t or couldn’t say. “Alright.” He nodded again. “ I uh… I gotta ask Sterling, and I know it’s early, but I was uh, plotting things we could do for Christmas. Something ambitious like a Standing Rib Roast. If you don’t have plans, I could probably ah, use extra hands in the kitchen.” “I’m pretty sure we could make puppy plates.” He added. Cheaper cuts of beef, some rice…egg—a proper feast for the dogs.
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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 6:09 am
The offer made Priam smile again, something that reached beyond just the muscles on his face. "I don't have plans. My brother might be in town," he said a bit hopefully, "But he travels, so. I'd like that, though. A standing rib roast is ambitious. But I think it's a good goal. I'd love to help."
He looked down at the dogs, who both seemed like they were ready to run off again and like they were waiting for Yu to join them. It meant more to him than he could express that Yu was offering puppy plates for the dogs, and it was such a nice thought that he didn't mention he was certain they'd double in size--Odie, at least, enough for the both of them--by Christmas. But, maybe he could run into Yu often enough that they wouldn't be so surprising by then.
"It sounds wonderful Yu, thank you. If Sterling has other plans, let me know. I know how romantic the holidays can be, it won't break my heart if he's got something special planned."
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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 7:31 am
“What do you-“ the moment to process that there might be more intimate plans for Christmas hit home like a load of bricks. “Oh... OH.” he exclaimed, red flushing at the tips of his ears and across freckled cheeks. “Oh, yeah, I, yeah, that’s an excellent point. I will ask about that.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. “I’m sure we can figure something out; I'm still trying to figure out cat Christmas.”
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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 8:32 am
If Priam wasn't worried about embarrassing Yu, he would have laughed out loud at the sudden burst of red on his face. It was endearing and pure, and it settled something in the pit of Priam's stomach. Yu seemed a bit more reserved about declaring love and affection for Sterling than Sterling was for him--at least, when it came to telling Priam about it. That made sense, though; Priam had known Sterling for longer and had been friends with him during a sizable portion of his emotional revelation.
It was nice, though, to see such a genuine reaction. Priam smiled understandably. "It's exciting! New rituals and young love. You two make me happy. Whatever happens, I look forward to it. I know it will be wonderful."
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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 9:26 am
“I hope so,” Yu said earnestly. “I’m a disaster so.. if anyone ******** this up, it’ll be me.” He gave a helpless laugh. “He’s really, wonderful though; I hope…ah, I hope if you’re looking, you find something like it.” He rubbed the back of his neck again. “I, you know him pretty well too, right? I - I might, I know it’s early, but I might ask you for help with Christmas? I don’t normally - “ He waved hands.
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Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 10:06 am
Even the dogs seemed to be giving them time to speak; there was a stick on the ground that Penny had stepped on, and Odie--valiant as he was--was crunching it between his teeth to make sure it didn't jump up and hurt her or something awful.
Priam smiled again. "You won't mess it up, Yu." There was something else in his expression for a brief second, at the thought of if he he was looking for anything. He let the shadow fade quickly and laughed, shaking his head. "I'm not looking for something right now. I'm still getting over the last time I thought I was in love. But," he assured quickly, "It wasn't like what you two have. I don't think..."
There was a strange lump in his throat, his chest, a weird bubble that felt like it was hot and ready to explode, as if the words could manifest some physical wall to silence him. He forced them out, anyway, but treated them like they were part of some horrible secret. He felt guilty just admitting anything. "I don't think he ever talked about me the way you two talk about each other. And he certainly didn't plan Christmas in October. Here," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card, explaining, "It has my phone number on it, that's easier than just going through Sterling for everything. But I'd love to help. I can needle him and see if there's anything special he has his heart set on and let you know."
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