Doing this through an analytical eye so don't hate me. : <
I don't think you should make her the submissive. The submissive is the one with all the power and I just don't forsee her as having a lot of power. She *thinks* she does (which is another reason why a more dominant role suits her), but when it comes down to it, she has to stop at the submissive's 'go'. Alexa seems to be the type is very sheltered, but not. Kinda like she's relying on her intellegence and upbringing and thinking that's giving her power, that that's going to save her from the 'evils' of this world. Even if she herself is putting herself in bad positions.
In your appearance I think you're adding WAY too much. It's fine to be detailed but honestly if you put 546446354 reasons of why she's sexy then you're running the risk of having her turn into a 'Mary Sue' type character and I know you don't want that. Just leave the meat in but take out all that filler. The personality and backstory is fine. One thing you REALLY should do is give her more of an intellegence streak. We know she is, but I'm really not getting it from just her back story. Maryke would have needed to see something there that made her WANT to choose her as her right hand woman. You need to put that in there somewhere.
Other wise it's like "lawlz they met and then Maryke made her second in command." It wouldn't happen realistically and it sure as hell doesn't need to be written into your backstory. You're playing with my character too (in the sense that their backstories are connected) so I know how my character reacts and there needs to be SOMETHING there that makes her drawn in. It can't be on just a romantic level either. Maryke is too built up in terms of emotional walls to easily be swayed in forking over some of her money or power. So I could give you one reason why Alexa would be taken under wing it'd be because of her intellegence. Let's not forget Maryke has no continued education and when she was in highschool she was hardly ever there. So it would be more plausible that because her 'empire' is becoming larger and larger and she's now faced with the business aspect (And as good as Maryke is at that by her subversive and crafty nature, let's face it, without the education she's a little fish in an ocean) which she can grasp but doesn't understand.
Maybe she lets Alexa start helping her with the economical side (while Alexa is still 'working' for her) and then more and more she gives her bigger jobs, more book work type jobs. Something like THAT is far more plausible then, they met and she was promoted.
Kay, that's it for me. If you need more help then you know where to find it. wink
The Island of Dr. Moreau Quester Central
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