Welcome to Gaia! ::

“Should have. Could have. But didn’t…” Absently, she ran her hand over one of his furs. “Neither of us did. At least, not until it was too late.”

“Do I hate you for it?” Laven turned to look at him so he could see the sincerity in her response. “Yes… but I understand why you did it. So I can’t really hold it against you for pushing me the way you did.”

Loathe to move, she shifted her position on the bed so she could lean her back against the wall beside him rather than have to twist her body uncomfortably to look at him while they spoke.

“I won’t lie, you scared the hell out of me towards the end. You knew from the start that I had no fighting experience. But It’s like at some point you lost all sense of reason, where nothing I said was getting through.” In no way could her spar with Lopezite could've prepared her for the training Wolframite had in mind. “The moment you allowed your anger to cloud your judgment I was no longer simply a sparring partner for you to train; it felt like I had become your prey.”

“I admit, I have no idea how it ended after I changed shape. But I do know that you could have left me there, but you didn’t. And for that I’m grateful.” If only she had known that the first time she woke up then maybe her reaction wouldn’t have been so violent. “I know, with time, my injuries will heal. My pride might take longer but I’ll deal with that later.”

For several moments she fell silent while debating whether or not she wanted to bring up her other concern...

“You did something to me Wolframite, I don’t know what, but it’s like something inside me broke. It sounds stipid and I really don’t know how to properly explain it. But when I attacked you, that wasn’t me, I mean it was but-” Feeling like a fool Lavendulan’s hands curled into tight fists in her lap, her sharp claws biting into the palms of her hands yet she paid it no mind.

“But, if this is how you intend to continue training I feel like I’ll just to let you down. The last thing I want is to be a burden.”

“I’m not ready to give up yet,” Lavendulan replied honestly, the youma inside her seemed content by her reply as it gently nudged her to continue.

Had she been just a simple human still perhaps she would have seen his offer as an out and locked her self back in her room instead. But that girl had died months ago and despite her longing to have that life back, something he had said or done had inexplicably shifted that desire, refocusing it on something new. “If I can just figure out my place in the Negavers, where I can best fit in. Then maybe I can earn a promotion as you mentioned. That way I can come and go as I please because I don’t want to feel trapped here for the rest of my life.”

A monster trapped behind a thick wall of glass for all to see. The waters beneath the ocean current stirred as the youma part of her seemed amused by that last thought. Perhaps someday that soft child would realize that was the exact thing she had been doing to it. Perhaps someday they’d both be freed. For now though, it was happy to simply watch and wait for that time to come.

“So…” Lavendulan hesitated, she turned her head away and scratched the back of her neck. “Unless you’re willing to make changes to your training sessions, you might need to wait for me to catch up to you because, while you want to engage my other side, I'm not ready to lose control like that again.” From the moment her body shifted to that of water for the second time, memory of what happened after she rolled out from under him was nothing more than a string blurred images which made little to no sense.

It wasn’t exactly a no, but it wasn’t entirely a yes either. There were stipulations to future sparings, but if Wolframite was willing to work with her then she would, in turn, be an ardent pupil and listen to his teachings.

“But I feel like, out of the few people I’ve met so far, you’re the only one that can understand, or explain, what I’m going through.” The best any other officer or corrupt could do was look up what sparse information there was on those fancy tablets and make guesses about these changes she was experiencing. Unlike puberty, there weren’t books or teaching that really gave proper outlines on what to expect going forward. It was new and terrifying and as much as she hated to admit it, she needed someone’s hand to hold on to as she stumbled her way through this unknown.

“I guess… what I’m trying to say…” Lavendulan pursed her lips into a thin line and closed her eyes, she drew in a steady yet deep breath then buried her face in both hands. A deep almost amused rumbling sound reverberated beneath the currents. “I need you-” a light blush swept across her hidden face out towards the tip of her ears. “I need your help,” she groaned in her admission. Why did it hurt so much to ask for such a stupidly simple thing?

Laven’s pride was injured in more ways than one but she still hazarded a glance in his direction from above the webbing between her fingers.

Lavendulan tensed beside him thinking that the thumping against the wall was a neighbor complaining they were too loud. But when she took in his expression, face flushed with an oversized paw pressed against his tail, she couldn’t help feel like she had said something right by his apparent pleased reaction.

While she couldn’t hide the smile that spread across her face, she did at least do what she could to suppress the amused laugh that bubbled inside her.

Cute Laven kept the comment to herself and instead slipped her hand beneath his paw, lifting it so she could nuzzle the side of her face against the soft fur on the back of his hand. “It’s a deal then. You will work on your temper and I will work on my combat skills, together we’ll grow stronger.” It might be a bit of a nieve perception but it was something for her to hold on to.

There was a low rumbling kind of sound reverberating in her chest, and it took a moment for her to realize that both she and her youma side were equally pleased. She had no ears or tail to give light to her mood but Laven had a feeling he could hear, if not feel, it just the same.

“I should probably go back to my room so you can have your bed back.”

Lavendulan let go of his paw and looked up at him with a raised brow as if she were about to challenge his offer but instead just shook her head and dismissed the thought.

“I think I should be fine in a day or two,” Her shoulder she could deal with but at least that should at least be enough time for the soreness in her sides to subside. Loathe to move, she kind of forced herself to move the blanket off her and swung her legs off the side of the bed and stood up.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” She smiled. “I promise, I’ll do my best to not let you down.” For all he had to offer in knowledge and experience, it was, in all honesty, the least she could do in return. “I may have my weak moments but as long as you exercise at least some patience with me, I will keep trying.”

With that said, Laven turned to head towards the door and head back to her room to sleep the rest of the night away; at least that was the goal once she managed to get her heartbeat back under control...