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 Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 5:58 pm
"If you want me to have all the nice things... Then the nice thing I want is you, Vivre, Wolframite... If you say yes then you have me and can taste all of me. Isn't that what you said you wanted?" The claws against his thigh was sobering, and his face flushed an earnest red as he realized finally just how close they were.
"Just say you will... Please.."
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 6:14 pm
He stared back, eyes sad and brow creased. "I really do want to."
But there was always a "but" and it hurt. Hurt more each time he met Mali and wanted a little piece more.
His hand moved up away again and instead curled around Mali just to hold him as the twisting pain of their conflicting desired and wants kept them away like barbed wire. Each one of them pained every time they extended too far.
"I really really do." Be whispered to no one as he turned his head into the other's shoulder.
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 6:19 pm
"Then why don't you?" The whisper gave was a whisper returned, and he held on tightly to the smaller man. It was easy from there to grab a blanket that was off to the side and drape it over the both of the, a small bit of solitude from the rest of the world that plagued them both.
"What is keeping you from being happy with me...?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 6:34 pm
"My promise. The Queen. My general. Me being here. You ...not wanting to be here. it wouldn't work. Someone would get hurt."
He moved to settle himself beside Mali now and stared up at the dark ceiling of his little room.
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 6:53 pm
"If you are here, and love me, and want me to be here with you, you know I will. I already said I wouldn't leave you... who would get hurt? Why would they get hurt...? I don't understand, I don't." He didn't like the loss of warmth and rolled to his side, draping an arm over Vivre. He wouldn't let him leave his side just yet.
"Its a yes or a no... Don't I deserve that atleast?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 7:03 pm
He sighed. "I just think it's going to hurt again. So..."
"No. We can't date." And that was that. A nail in a coffin if a very old conversation they kept checking around.
"Sorry. I just got horny. I should have stopped sooner. Been awhile." He threw a arm over his eyes to keep his regret and embarrassment down.
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Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 5:38 am
"Ah.. I understand..." As much as that desire to pull away was there, he had promised he wouldn't leave. Yet he had also promised that he'd stop crying... Atleast he could keep one of those promises by pulling himself closer to Vivre and pressing his eyes against his arm. Without thinking, he curled up into a ball, and tears began to fall once again.
How he hated this. He knew that crying was foolish. He knew that tears could never solve anything. Damn those things that made him weak and allowed the wall he build around his heart shatter. Then again, the cracks were already there, weren't they?
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to stop, I am... I don't want to break my promise to you.."
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Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 6:51 am
"It's okay. You can cry. It sucks." He said as he turned over and wrapped his arms around him to being him into his chest.
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Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2019 10:22 am
'Mali only squeezed tighter when Vivre pulled him into his arms, trying to muffle the sounds of his self-proclaimed overly dramatic tears. Inside he knew that this whole thing was ridiculous. He was Landry. Cold and cruel and did not cry over what he would later figure out as a broken heart.
And yet here he was, sniffling and taking in slow, deep breaths, and finding comfort in that sweet almond and vanilla scent.
"Thank you for telling me all this stuff... And telling me no honestly. I don't want to keep getting my hopes up for something I can't ever have..."
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Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 8:07 am
"I thought you should know...and I know it will come to light at some point. I didn't want you to find out from someone else and I didn't want to feel like I was lying to you either." He said.
"And I'm sorry for getting your hopes up." Because he too had hoped and they conflicted with Landry's too much. He had to steel himself and any flirty thoughts that came to him. Landry had to be off limits to those ideas for now in, even in playful jest. It was too cruel to the other. It only caused pain.
He rubbed his back and let his claws gently brush his hair.
"I wanna make you happy in other ways. Even if it's crying to feel better."
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Posted: Wed Aug 21, 2019 8:40 am
"You're far more considerate of me than you need to be. Don't feel bad, okay? It's just... First times hurt. First love, first heart break... It was bound to happen. I'm glad it happened with you and that you could be honest with me." The claws against his hair were surprisingly gentle and soothing.
With each stroke, he relaxed further, eyes closing as he took a deep breath to finally settle himself down.
"You do make me happy, you know. I am so glad I got to know you as well as I do. I feel less alone in this world knowing that you're here with me. Nubi's great, but a feeling like this, a love like this can't compare to what I have to her. They are too different... I think I love this feeling with you more..."
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