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 Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:15 pm
Mali immediately froze at the suggestion, shocked by the suggestion and trying hard to not have it show on his face. With a little more explanation, he relaxed just a bit, still on edge though by Vivre's words. They didn't sit well with him in the least, even if he had a point.
"Love is complicated." He finally spoke up again after letting his hand lower and loosen to the point of barely keeping contact with it. He dared not let it go, but that urge to pull away and keep them from touching that soft fur was there.
He was closing up again, and he knew it.
"It in itself is full of bruises and lightning and old wounds torn open by a misplaced word or a simple word of good intentions mistaken as aggression. Yes, I could let her go, yes I could simply let the world treat her with as much cruelty and bitterness as it has been before, but then what would it make me? Should I hate that world that hurts her if it's my fault she gets hurt? Or hate myself for not protecting her when I could have?" While it couldn't be said that his tone was harsh, or scolding, as it remained as calm and steady as ever, there was a bite of coldness to it
"I know very well that these feelings, these complaints I have, this envy that fills me is my own doing, I'd rather not subject her to those things until I know she has more than just me there for her. It wasn't until we joined the Negaverse that Lori and I only had one another, so forgive him if it takes a little bit of time until I let that string tie to another post or let her float away. i want to be able to fly too, not just lose her to the whims of the next lightning bolt that comes down."
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:02 pm
I don't get it.
Was it because it couldn't remember having any siblings. Didn't know if it even had any before. Or was it because part of it was missing.
The grip on its hand was faint now. Noticeable more after it being held by both hands and gently stroked to being held by just one claw, limp but kept probably only out of necessity. There was no comfort he needed from it now.
"Sorry. I didn't get it." It still might not fully, but if Mali felt lonely now. He'd be even worse off without his sister. They at least had each other and should anyone come against them, they would not be divided by agent and senshi. It shouldn't be that way anyways. They were all agents. Shouldn't It made it a part to protect them as much as if they were its siblings. Did it not talk about the Negaverse as its family.
It said nothing more on the matter and refrained from looking at him. "Do you want to go back now?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:17 pm
"You don't need to understand. I have already said it multiple times before my problems are caused by myself, and the only one who could really understand is myself." Mali's ruffled feathers were slowly being smoothed out again, especially since it seemed now due to his outburst Vivre was avoiding looking at him again.
It was irritating, knowing he had caused this, but still not as irritating as that one whiny young woman he was stuck with before. At least with Vivre, he cared about how he was feeling, and not just out of the threat his sister would beat him with a heel if he grew more cruel than needed.
"No. I do not want to go back. We just got here. I don't want to leave you just yet." To emphasize, Mali fixed his grip and tugged that arm along to keep walking forward.
For as many times as he apologized today, he didn't feel like apologizing now. He wasn't at fault for getting upset. Neither of them were at fault for what happened. And it wasn't enough to make Mali rage-quit their time together.
"Hmm... To answer you question from earlier... Even if I was free from that responsibility, It doesn't change who I am. I still enjoy being home, eating snacks and baking verses Lori's party-going nature. I could spend that time getting to know more people, I suppose, throw myself fully into the Negaverse, but wouldn't that just be filling in more responsibilities?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:37 pm
"Okay." And so they would move again.
"I suppose. I was told it's not healthy to dedicate all of yourself to the Negaverse. That you need to balance both lives." Something it had been told time and time again. By Bismuthite. By ZInkenite. It was a haunting message to utter now, but one that it knew now had been true at the time when he had two lives.
It grew quiet and found that awkward moment when it didn't know what else to discuss. Baking? It didn't bake. It wouldn't have anything to say. Being a home? It lived here. More sibling talk? Maybe hold off on that a tic?
"Do ...you....." It paused in thought. "....do anything for fun other than that?" It was grasping at straws.
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:48 pm
"You're right, it's not. The world we live in is dark, depressing, and unpleasant, so we need to find things to balance that out, as you said. Finding joy in life amidst what causes suffering is what I want to focus on more than anything else. Do what I am obligated to, and safe myself and my time for things that make me happy." Thankful for the subject change, he continued onwards into the Rift, not sure of any particular destination, but eager to keep going, away from the awkward situation a few steps behind.
The thoughts of what made him happy eased the air between them, for Mali anyway.
"I take photographs of things. I go to school for it, and I do it as a hobby. I also am a photographer for Nubi during some of her photo shoots. Since you're in here all the time, and can travel safely through here, maybe I should give you a spare camera to see what you can see in here... And I do bake... Do you like sweets? Or anything that's baked? I would be happy to bring you something the next time we are together. If you'd like to see me again."
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:03 pm
Happy. What makes you happy?
"I don't think I could hold a camera. I need things altered for me to use. Tiberius is making me things so I can get through my day without problems. I'd probably just break the camera of scratch it all up. Small things - I tend to drop them." Let alone trying to push a button. "I wouldn't know what to do with any of the pictures."
But baking had its interest, and it looked back. "I do like baked things. I still would like to see you. What do you like baking?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:22 pm
"I have a little Mauvian kitten name Obie who lives with me and Nubi... Maybe she could help me with a camera for you. I think you'd like her too. She's sweet and small and really really loud sometimes. Hyper. But if she could alter one that could work for you, I could show you how to develop film... And to do with them... Well, you could always show them off to me. That'd make me happy to learn a little bit more about what captures your attention." Clearly this conversation was making Mali happy, as he spoke on in fondness about his hobbies. No one ever bothered to ask what he liked, but that was on him.
Being friendly didn't come naturally.
"I love chocolate croissants the most, but I do enjoy lemon thumbprint cookies... There's alot in my go-to recipe box, so if there is anything you're craving, I can bring them for you. Actually... Next time, we can go out into the city and find a nice place to enjoy the night. The weather is getting warmer so it might be pleasant. Even more so in your company."
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:40 pm
"Oh you have a Mauvian living with you too? Who else lives with you?" It asked.
As he considered the camera, he only slowly cocked his head to one side. "I have no hobbies." Having one couldn't hurt it in any way. It would be something to do while waiting to be taken out on patrols or waiting for an assignment. Considering it couldn't recall what else it did outside of patrolling as it didn't know what it did at home or even where it had ever lived, any hobby was worth taking because every hobby was new.
"I don't really remember." It answered honestly. "I remember I did like baked foods and bakeries. I think I liked many things." It couldn't go in any detail because it wasn't sure what its favorites had been. It knew it always had been eating something different on any given day.
"Would any place even allow me to show up? I think I'd scare anyone away and the cops would come." It said, thought it somehow could recall certain bakeries. "I do know of some places in the city. Where I used to go."
And it always liked being out on patrol. To be out. It was warmer now. It must be spring soon. What month? Who knew. How warm? It had been winter when he became a half-youma. Time was already passing so quickly now.
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:50 pm
"Just me, Obie, and Nubi. That's all that we have living in our apartment." There was no need to get into details if Viv didn't ask.
"None at all? Well, we can find something you like to do. I'll get right on that camera, and maybe think of some more you can do while you're still in here. You can always ring me with your tablet if you're bored as well, and I can try to arrange for you to come out to visit me." He was pushing for more invitations to be with Viv, even though he was already told that he would like to be seen again. A little reassurance wasn't a bad thing.
"Whether you're allowed or not doesn't really matter if we're just sitting on a rooftop and enjoying things I've baked for you. But if you have any preferences of places, I can try finding them and bring them to you."
This was it... The moment where he felt like prying probably wouldn't be so bad. After all, Viv was pretty prying with his own questions.
"You keep saying you don't remember... Did you lose your memory when you were youmafied? What is your human name?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 4:04 pm
"True. You don't need to spend anything on me though. Or feel you need to bake for me to take me out on patrol. I just like going outside." It pointed out.
"I don't remember most things." It said, having no issue with answering that part. Most agents didn't even see half-youma and if they did, they didn't know much about them. It could lie that in its case, it had a strong memory loss. It didn't know if it wasn't true for all half-youma since it rarely got to meet any others like him and Faustite was a closed book when it came to most about his life.
"I don't remember my hobbies. I don't remember by human name." He continued to walk with Mali.
Ahead, a few large birds were gathered on the branches of a petrified tree. Their bodies were covered in thick feathers that made them look puffy but their necks were long like a flamingo's and they were all various shades of red. From their long beaks came even longer, thin tongues that licked out in the air like a snake.
They clattered noises at each other and Vit stopped to watch them. "Let's sit a bit." It said as he found a few petrified logs from fall trees and settled down to sit on one.
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 4:23 pm
"I want to bake for you as a gift, not as a need to do so. I want to do something nice for you." The scenery seemed to change a bit as they went alone, the stony walls giving way to a wider area, and a few trees popped up here and there. It felt familiar somehow, like a world he had seen in a picture book, or in a dream, but the youma that turned to look at them clearly was anything but. To others, maybe they were a nightmare. To Mali, they were simply fascinating.
The questions he asked led him no where, to his disappointment. Sitting down to admire the strange creatures didn't seem like all that bad of an idea. And once Vit sat down, Mali let go of his hand and sat close to him, enough so that their arms brushed against one another. Hopefully that was enough to keep those birds away for now.
"You don't need to remember anything. The memories that are gone can be filled in with new ones, like the memory of us coming into the Rift together for the first time. It can't replace the memories you had before, but these new memories make this version of you you. And while I don't know much about who you were before, I know of the you know, and I have to say, I'm already pretty fond of him." Now that his hand was free, he dared to reach up and very gently smooth down bits of Vivre's hair, meaning for the gesture to be affectionate rather than serve any true purpose.
"I believe I read somewhere that you could use a glamour to be a bit more human if we go out. In our databases, but it could be tiring... If we were to go out together as humans, you'd need a name I could call you. Something less suspicious sounding than Vitriol or Vivre... Would you care to have one?"
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 5:08 pm
It sat with its hands in its lap, flexing fingers as he watched the youma stare back at it and the senshi, just as curious about them as they were back but possibly for different reasons. It often wondered if one day it would somehow look up and be able to hear their conversations as easy as any other.
Instead, they chattered in clicks and squawks and licked the air about them.
"I have no choice but to make new memories."
This version of it. Vive was a version. Vit was a version.
Pretty fond of him. It felt the fingers against his brow and tensed for just a split second before relaxing again. It's attention went from the birds to flicker at the hand and then at Mali.
Somewhere a dead cellphone was in a police locker.
Somewhere a ring sat on a desk.
Its stomach hurt and there was a cold drip of guilt washing over it.
"I can but I haven't learned how yet. I'll have to ask my General for help on that. I probably haven't earned it yet. I'm still new and need to prove I can handle being out like that." Not that it was in any rush to run around as a human. The idea made it nervous.
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:40 pm
"... You haven't earned it? Does that mean you lost what you had before, and are now being punished by having your humanity essentially taken away?" The clicks and squawks were all but ignored, instead Mali cast his gaze back to Vivre, hand pausing in its movements before resting on Mali's own knees.
"New... New, yet contained... Are they teaching you anything then? Or are they simply demanding you go out on your own to do things? I'm all for independence and what not, but whoever your General is shouldn't just throw you into the fire without some sort of preparation..." Not that he could really say much about Cavansite's own help, or his own stubborn refusal to really bother to listen to what she had to say. Books were easier than people to learn from. They didn't shout at you when you messed up, or break your fingers when a mistake was made.
While the Negaverse wasn't exactly kind, there was always an assumption there that they cared for their own, in one way or another. And Viv wasn't like him. He was a Lieutenant. Accepted, probably with far more power than Mali had himself.
"I'd like to be with you then, when you first step out into the city with a glamor. Hopefully by that time I will be strong enough to atleast teleport here and back, to lessen the burden on any general I meet... It's been a year already, but I think now, I may have some motivation."
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 8:01 pm
He waves the concern with a little gesture of his hand.
"No. I'm just new. A rookie. You need to work hard to get power. It's like becoming a captain. You have to earn your roles. And I'm a half-youma. They need to be sure I won't go crazy on the streets and bite someone." It joked as an excuse for the glamour issue. It was only partially true. It was a privileged and they had to be sure he wouldn't run off or be tempted by the human world again. They he wouldn't try finding his old life or would listen to his officers. Right now, he was just a feral dog that needed training. One had to be sure he could be on a leash and not try and break free when told to Heel.
"We haven't gotten to going out yet. I haven't thought about it. I haven't really cared about it too much. But my General is good. A great person. I trust he is doing right and listen to his better judgement. He knows me well to make the right calls." It said and smiled at the choice of Mali's words.
Thrown into the fire indeed.
"You'd have to clear it with General Faustite if you want to come with me. He sees to how things work and if he says he wants to do things another way, then I'll be obeying his orders." It said. "No offense. We are lieutenants after all and I am under his charge." And Faustite might not want a corrupted senshi about when he first goes out in human guise. Not if he had specific orders for him to undertake.
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Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 8:23 pm
"... You're right. That is how it works, isn't it?" A fact he very much hated. Belief in a greater cause? Wanting to further Metallia's goals and server her properly?
Mali couldn't care less. She wasn't his queen, she wasn't someone he even cared about.
Everything he had done so far was for power, the power to protect, the power to crush anyone who dared to try to hurt him or Lori again. Had it been the White Moon who approached him, he would have done the same damned thing.
Loyalties didn't lie with the Negaverse, or his general, or even Metallia. They lied with Nubi, and her alone, and it almost disgusted him to even think of anyone thinking they could hold him by any sort of chains.
All the more reason to get stronger, so those people could leave him alone, and he could be his own master.
None of those thoughts were said outloud though. It was more clear than he liked based on his furrowed brow and narrowed eyes that glared at the birds before them.
What was the point of power like this without the freedom to use it? Even before he could be come the kite, Vivre's words slashed holes in the flimsy nylon.
"I would rather wait then. Having to ask permission to be with someone I want to consider a friend seems like such... Bullshit to me, for lack of a better word. Who knows what sort of person he is to senshi anyway? I'm glad he's kind to you, so you say, but I'll keep my distance. Especially if he treats you like some animal, as it clearly sounds like to me."
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