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 Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:35 am
Why was she still here?
The eternal question asked yet again. Lacey pressed her lips together, watching Malaise with an unreadable expression on her face, because the sheer intensity of emotion that had been spat out in every syllable was doing the opposite of what he had intended. It was keeping her rooted to the spot, rather than making her walk away, which was probably what he wanted, and it was this thought that made her deliberately not do it.
The baby hurt too. And so did the rest of it.
She wanted to say yes. She wanted to because she did want that. She wanted some sort of admittance that she mattered, and that Fletcher mattered, and that together they had had something incredible. Something that shouldn't have been so easily broken.
Except that it was. And it had. And it wouldn't do any good.
"No," she said, and in spite of everything, her tone was level. Lacey did not cry. She was, she knew, the strongest of all three of them, and it wasn't always apparent, but it was apparent now, in spades, back straight, expression one of cool reserve. She did not fall apart, and she never had.
Taking a few steps forward, Lacey reached out. Both of her hands, nails painted black, pressed against either side of Malaise's face and she leaned in, pressing her lips to his in a kiss that wasn't anything more than that - just a kiss, but a familiar one, aching and true.
She pulled back after a moment, but didn't move far, and didn't lower hands.
"You owe me," Lacey said. "You both owe me. And I'm not going to let you walk out on me - on us - again."
It was not forgiveness and they both knew it. But it was something else.
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:41 am
No.Good. Lacey was going to realize she had no reason to be here. She was going to leave and that was going to be it. That’s what he expected, and Malaise was prepared for it. He was not expecting her to step closer, and he tended, slightly, honestly expecting her to hit him. It was the least he deserved, frankly - and even that, he probably could’ve handled better than what she actually did. Hands, soft and familiar. Lips, home, if soft and fleeting, a hint of something he couldn’t come out and say how much he missed. All air left his lungs, and his eyes were wide and too bright with emotion - something he desperately tried to blink away, even as he reached up to catch one of her hands, keeping it in place beneath his own even if she made no move to pull way. And for a moment, he was rendered speechless. Even knowing him, even after everything, Lacey had just said she didn’t want to let him go. And Malaise knew what he should have done. Better to laugh in her face, push her away, finish it, but — Of course he couldn’t. He wasn’t as strong as she was. That was a fact. “Since the tab’s open, “ he said at last, and his voice was soft, but rich with emotion, “will you - stay with me awhile?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:18 am
At first she thought he might shove her away; it would have been entirely unexpected. But then she felt one of Malaise's hands come up, come to rest on hers where it was pressed against his face, and something in her chest surged with relief, with something akin to satisfaction, but not quite.
She looked down at him, and saw the stunned expression on his face. Lacey had half a mind to say <******** you and walk off - it would have been her prerogative, and she knew he would have expected it - but she couldn't. She was strong enough to handle most things, and did, but this was different. Malaise was one of hers; she couldn't leave him alone and wasn't about to, not when he owed her.
Her thumbs smoothed against his cheeks.
"Stop trying to rip your IV out like a d**k and I'll stay," she said. "Do you want another kiss?"
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 10:06 am
Finally, he smiled the way he should have from the start. "I mean. I think I can manage, somehow, " and even if he was injecting some of the expected snark, it was sweet enough that it might as well have been doused in a fine layer of sugar. He shut his eyes again for a moment, less shutting her out and more committing the moment to memory, taking a moment to truly appreciate the warmth of Lacey's hands on his face and scent of her wafting up to him. Was she using the same perfume as before? The same shampoo? Malaise opened his eyes again, his eyes meeting hers. "You must've really missed me if you're willing to kiss me looking like this, " and it was a natural response, his hand lingering on her's as he nearly whispered out, "Please?"
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:26 pm
"Good," she said, giving him a pointed look that said, very clearly, that if she touched his IV again she was going to rip him a new one and enjoy doing it. Her hands smoothed over Malaise's face, familiar and tender, because that was the sort of person she was. She hadn't forgiven either one of them, not yet, but she needed them and they needed her and so she was not going to just walk away, nor was she going to let them do it to her.
Not anymore.
"Yeah, you do look like s**t," Lacey said, but her fingers twitched a little against his cheeks. Her index finger shifted, moving to tangle over his where he had rested it, and it wasn't quite holding hands, but it was close enough. She leaned in and kissed him, slow and gentle, but with a slight parting of her lips and a taste of her tongue as she reminded him why they were here in the first place.
After a few minutes she leaned back, her thumb moving over his lower lip.
"After you get out of here," she said, "You're coming back with me."
It was not a question.
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:30 pm
Malaise sighed, sinking into the soothing sensation of Lacey’s hands on him. When a finger slipped too close, he tilted his head just so to kiss the tip, adoration for the girl welling up behind his eyelids. He blinked the emotion away again, wondering how long he could keep that barrier in place. He cried at shows. He sobbed at success. His eyes welled when he got too frustrated, too angry. He was a powerhouse of emotion as much as a destructive force, after all - vibrant when laughing, devastated when hurt - and he was well aware he’d hurt people he loved. He wanted to say it was to spare them. Or another way to hurt himself. But the truth was, there was no concrete reason beyond his own mind and heart working against him. It was just how he ********, it was so good to kiss her again... and he drank in it, every second of it, every drop of herself that she was still willing to give. And it was the kind of kiss that pushed back the bad thoughts, even just for a minute, and even if he knew he should resist, that it was bad for all of them: “Okay.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:01 pm
Malaise had always been the most openly emotional of the three of them, though Fletcher was a close second. Lacey generally kept her emotions under lock and key and a closed vault, everything pushed away, shut down, never to be looked at except in certain occasions.
This was not one of those occasions, but it was for Malaise. She could see the dampness in his eyes.
Lacey leaned back, pressing her lips to his cheek, his other cheek, his forehead and then, gently, each of his eyes, before leaning back again. One of her hands moved up to smooth through Malaise's tangled hair and then down his jawline, her expression faintly amused, although there was clear love in them as well, because try as she might, angry and hurt and betrayed as she was, that had never been easy to hide.
"Good," she said briskly, and then kissed him once more for good measure. Then she shifted and sat down on the bed, in the space he had offered before, moving her hand to pat his leg.
"Now go the ******** to sleep. I'll stay here."
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