[prove yourself
[wc: 1025 words]
[wc: 1025 words]
Tortali's words were still sticking in Akaganeite's head. The offer to just....just leave behind everything she had become, everything that she was working for, and for what? She would simply be hollowed out all over again, and returned to the people that had left her behind. There had to be a reason, after all, that she had become an officer when people like Tortali and her girlfriend hadn't. Of all the people at that battle--she couldn't even guess a count, but there were certainly many times more soldiers on the other side than had been converted to the Negaverse--only a dozen had actually been brought in. Only they had accepted Chaos. Only they had been remade.
It had to mean something. She wasn't sure what--with her memories completely gone, it was impossible to guess. But something. She had to believe that there was a reason that she had been chosen to be corrupted. Even if no person had actively made that cohice. Even if it had occurred in the middle of a battle, with Chaos permeating the air like smog. She had been brought over. Many, many others had not, and not all of them had the protection of that strange magic glow.
She turned over the medal that she had received, when she arrived in Negaspace after the battle. A tiny sigh passed her lips as she ran her fingers over it; it was beautiful, and bright, and it signified an achievement that she only sort of felt a part of. Certainly she had done her best to fight once she had found herself on the correct side of the engagement, and certainly she would continue to do so, but she had only been a small part of their victory that day.
(It was a victory. She had no questions about that part, at least.)
And even if she wasn't special, even if nothing made her personally particularly unique, she would make herself special. If she had not been chosen for a reason, if it was only the hand of fate that had chosen her to be draped in black, then that was alright. She would prove her worth and value with her own two hands. She would work and fight and demonstrate her power. They would be glad that they had chosen her. She would make it so.
As a Lieutenant, she had little capability to do so, but that was alright. She believed in her own capabilities. she would demonstrate her worth to Aquamarine, and to those above him. Her efficiency in record-keeping would be noted, she was certain of it. And so would her dedication to her work, her lack of missed quotas, effort put in on every possible front. And that would be enough. it would have to be enough.
And besides, she intended to make herself as knowledgeable about the war as possible. Her conversation with Abzu told her that she needed to know more, to understand more. There was much to know, and much would rely on her seeking uot other people that knew more than she did, but there were, at least, places to start. The training guide, for one, though she had already read that cover to cover and absorbed as much of it as she could. But also the database, which contained information about their foes, and might give her some names that she could chase down if she wanted more answers.
So, on the next opportunity to go to Negaspace and turn in her quotas, she found herself somewhere to sit, tablet open in her lap, and began to review the database.
She had much to contribute to it, in any case. The strange Senshi she'd encountered needed to be recorded, so others could see--and while her clearance was limited, there were still things she could read. And what she found was quite interesting.
It seemed that her fuzzy friend was not alone, in being a Senshi from outer space--the records mentioned a stranger who brought odd wisps, referred to as a "hot dragon;" interesting, to say the very least. They also mentioned a Sailor Dagon, blue and alien and strange, who had a propensity to violence but could be spoken to if one was careful. That was marked off in her head as potentially quite dangerous. That seemed to be it, besides the one she intended to report herself.
At least three off-worlders who were not Velencians. More credence lent tot he idea that there was an alien threat, that there might be a desire by outsiders to recapture the Earth. If the ones born here didn't want to, the ones that came from far-flung planets certainly might.
She bit the inside of her cheek, turned her attention to other records and reports. So many, and so much to learn; there were names, and she had to admit, the ones she was most curious about where the ones who were reported as traitors.
An unknown Senshi of Asphodel. Avalon. Camlann. More recently, Ilse. Lysithea. All people that might offer a unique perspective on the conflict, since they had seen both sides. It was harder to identify people who had come into the Negaverse; she supposed records might get moved, deleted, or classified in the case of someone changing sides. That made sense. You had to give grace and protection to those who made the right choice.
(Her entry on Tristan seemed to be missing. She wondered why. Perhaps the girl had found her way back to the right side. She hoped so; the love story between her and Gwen was sweet. The type of thing girls might dream of. Kaga wondered if she had, when she was younger.)
Once she was done browsing, she smiled to herself. Yes, now she was armed with plenty of information--and people that she could seek out to speak to. On her side and on the other. If she wanted the fullest picture--and she did--she would have to work to paint it.
