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"I got that feeling from him, " and again, the words slipped unbidden from his lips, something tight and heated curling in his chest all anew. Lorne smoothed a hand down the front of his own chest as though it could be coaxed away as simply as wrinkles in a shirt. Needless to say, it didn't work. "I did not want to give him the satisfaction. It's not like me to do that, it's - " He sighed, stiffening visibly when she went into her history with Hurst, particularly at the word abandoned.

More than anything, he felt misunderstood. Not even for the word abandoned, because if that's what she wanted to attach to it, then fine, but - "This isn't about who you love more or anything like that, " and his voice was quieter, but no less resolute. "I'm not that insecure, or I'm trying not to be, really - and I have more faith in you than that." He bit his bottom lip, toying with a piece of bacon in his free hand. "I'm upset that because I didn't know, I was put in a position where my... " He was struggling for a good word. Anxiety wasn't one he'd use for himself, even if it was the best fit.

"... nature, " he finally settled on, a little awkwardly still, "or however you want to say it, the way I am was used as a weapon against me. I was chased, I was shamed, I was - it was something Archer would have done, " and there was no better way to put it than that. "That is how this friend of yours made me feel. And I'm so tired - " He kind of choked on his words, because this frustration was different than when he was facing Hurst. He was the kind of frustrated that left tears in his eyes, although it did not soften him. " - of feeling like that. And then someone like that thinks they have the right to smugly tell me how I should be in my relationship with you?"

He took a deep, shuddering breath. "What happened between you and I was terrible, and I take my share of the blame for that. I know my mistake, and I would never leave you again unless you yourself pushed me away. But that is for you and I, not anyone else. I do not need a lecture from a man I cannot stand, I do not need someone provoking me, embarrassing me, I - really, really, really dislike him, Nadia, and frankly, I would prefer not to see him again." It was about as close as someone like Lorne would ever get to saying he hated someone; even Archer hadn't had the hardest word bestowed upon him.

He felt drained from having said all that, looking down again and shoving another piece of bacon in his mouth. "It felt good, " and there was no sugar coating that. "I do not know if that's a good thing. The police were nearly called, but it was about as gratifying as hitting a general. - is this who I am now? Someone who punches everyone?" he trailed off in a mumble, talking more to himself now.

Lorne didn't have anything to say to most of that, and shoved more of the bacon into his mouth to fill the voids in their conversation. He felt frustrated, still. Frustrated that he'd been kept in the dark, even if he half-understood why. Frustrated that he'd been hurt along the way. Frustrated because he didn't think Nadia really understood, even after all that, and it left him wondering if the time apart had done the kind of damage that wasn't so easily undone.

"I know I'm not Archer's Lorne, " he couldn't help but say, and hadn't been for a long time; that was kind of the point. He didn't want to be treated that way anymore, not by anyone. Then to hear his girlfriend would stand beside a person who had made him feel anything remotely like that -

No.

"I think I'll just go home and rest."

But before he did leave, at least -

"I'll text you."

Frustrated as he was, he would not repeat the mistakes of the past.