Imagine, if you will… from the outside, it looks like a normal, almost cheesy haunted house. The paint is peeling, the shutters are falling off the hinges, the screen door bangs around in the wind…
You enter, and the first room is even cheesier on the inside. Candles dripping fake blood, rubber bats hang from the ceiling, animatronic skeletons jerk back and fourth letting out a stupid laugh… Your tour guide warns you not to laugh back, though, for the spirits that haunt the house do not take kindly to taunting. He explains how they loved halloween, and their wishes for their house to be made a halloween attraction… He circles the few of you… then screams BOO at one guest, who jumps and then… laughs… Oh, you shouldn't have done that, he teases, and leads you to the next room. A squeak can be heard just outside the front door. The guide looks back, but doesn't say a word. Moving on…
Another cheesy room, with spiderwebs and more bloody candles. One phony steps on a floorboard that breaks, their hoof squishing into something that oozes -hopefully- fake blood. They scream a little, a few phonies laugh. Oh, you really shouldn't be doing that, the guide warns again, a little less teasing this time… As he leads you into the next room, a rubber bat smacks against a wall behind you with a squeak. The guide frowns, but says nothing. Moving on…
The next room is a longer one, with funhouse mirrors making small mazes to wander through. It's not set up too well, so there's no way to get lost, but somehow one of the phonies seems to disappear anyways. Somephony makes a remark about them probably being 'in on it', and again, somephony laughs. Oh, I wish you'd stop doing that, the guide is starting to look a little distraught, and leads you a little quicker to the next room… As the last phony leaves, there's a cracking of glass… Crackle… crackle… BSHAM! Several mirrors straight up shatter. The guide's eyes go wide, but still he doesn't comment. Moving on…
Room four is fairly uneventful… More fake blood and webs and spiders from the ceiling this time… Most of you are a little spooked at the glass shattering, so no phony laughs at anything. Well, not until you move to room five… as one phony is going through the doorway, a net opens up above her and fake spiders rain down. She screams, flails, runs halfway up the stairs before calming down. Everyphony laughs. The guide just looks at you all with an almost pleading look on his face, no longer looking like he's enjoying this one bit. It's just a fun house, one phony says. It's still a haunted one, the guide warns… One last spider falls from the doorway net, landing with a louder thunk. It's a bigger spider. It's a real spider. A few more scream, laugh, and run up the stairs. The guide simply watches them go, then looks at you. A loud thunk can be heard from another room, one that wasn't part of the tour. Then the lights downstairs go out, and a female giggle drifts through the inky blackness… You and the guide quickly skitter after the others. Moving on…
Upstairs, things aren't so cheery. More cult-like items and images are scattered around than the cheesy items before, and a fake looking clown lays sprawled on the floor, fake blood covering his eyes. Thats… not right… the guide shifts back and fourth. He moves too close to the clown. It grabs his leg. The guide screams and bolts. A couple let out nervous chuckles. Then there's a loud thump from the base of the stairs. The lights flicker. Another thump. Another flicker. Another thump. The clown screams. The lights go out for a moment, and when they come back on the clown is on his feet. Swaying. Swaying toward you. RUN you hear the guide scream. Moving on…
The seventh room passes in a blur, as no phony is really paying attention now. The previous rooms lights go out for good, and the stair thumping becomes more rushed. Room eight is another mirror room, and the second the first phony enters the mirrors already start cracking. The lights of the previous room go out again, and the stair thumping abruptly stops. Another giggle drifts through the darkness… and suddenly, the mirrors are reflecting dark shadows bolting around them, though no one can see where they're coming from. Everyphony moves quickly through, and thankfully, the mirrors stay together this time… Moving on…
The last room is a long one, the full width of the house. It's mostly in gallery style, with little areas set up to represent the living room, dining room, and a bedroom from when this house was lived in. Fake Phonies ((snicker)) sit in a rocking chair, stand by the table, and lay in the bed, all with glassy eyes that almost seem to glow. The guide is standing dead still, fixated on the last one. The one in bed. Glass starts to shatter in the mirror room, prompting you all to move closer to the center of this long room. Laugh, the guide says, but it's not a jovial tone. You laughed before… His words are echoed behind you, by the clown who's now in the room too. You laughed before… You laughed before… I told you not to laugh, the clown says. I told you not to laugh, the guide says. A giggle is heard from above, and you become highly aware of the ceiling missing from this room. It goes straight up to the attic, and something is up there. A shadow darts around, making no sound except for the giggle. The guide starts to giggle and moves towards you. The clown starts to giggle, and moves towards you too. The giggling shadow above? Her giggles turn to screeches, and suddenly she's flying down, around you, close, so close you can almost feel her wing tips. They're sharp, and obviously not feathered. Suddenly, the doors in the middle of the room slam open, leading outside to the balcony… Moving on…
As soon as the last phony darts out, the doors slam shut again, leaving you all to stare at each other wondering what on earth happened. One of you starts to laugh. Soon, all of you are laughing. That was fun! That was spooky! There's a knock on the door. Loud. Sudden. Again. And again. I told you not to LAUGH! The doors bang open to reveal a black-as-night mare with bright red eyes, long black mane and tail, and… bat wings? She looks very, very angry. She stomps her hoof towards you all. The floor suddenly drops out, and…
You all slide down one of those plastic slides that often gives little static shocks, and into a ball pit hidden by leaves. The mare appears on the balcony railing, staring down at you all, laughing joyously as she takes off her wig and wipes body paint off her face. GOT YA! She calls. Hope you all enjoyed SCARES by Dusk Glider! Come back next year, ok? She gives a big wave, and wanders back into the house to set things up for the next round of victims…
Reply
