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 Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 9:59 am
Going to meet him now- good. Yvaine wasn't starting out with the mistake that Jada had made. She'd given Marlo a phone call, and allowed herself to be distracted by... well. It didn't matter. She'd tried, over and over to tell him, but never looked him in the face and kept the truth from him. It was easier, to change your mind, when eyes weren't watching you. Easier to think they weren't interested, or would want you to get rid of it, when you could hear another woman's laughter on the other end of the phone. "It's okay to be afraid." It wasn't meant to be reassuring; it was a statement of fact. There were so many reasons to be afraid, but Yvaine wasn't in a position to hear them right now. She was still processing.
"But you're not alone." her hand tightened, and Jada was not flinching when she looked at Yvaine. "Whatever you choose, however this goes, you have me, and you have Giulia, and you have Aidan. And you have whoever from your old life you choose to keep. You made the mistake of becoming my friend, Yvaine, and I am not unlike a barnacle, you'll have to try very hard to escape my affection." her smile was quick, probably barely seen in the darkened room.
I need to put my child first. At that, her hand trembled, and when Yvaine asked what Jada would do- her laugh was soft, almost brittle. "You're doing better than I did," she said at last. "When- When I was 18, I was stabbed. A Negaverser. Zanazziite. Her weapon was antlers. I was Scylla. I was blood moon. I had thought I was invincible. I woke up, and they told me I would never be able to have children." but she did suppose that... "I- You want an answer to that question, and I have one." she let go of Yvaine's hand, her own beginning to shake.
"Not- Everyone knows I'm barren. Gossip travels fast, and one paparazzi gets ahold of the wrong information and suddenly everyone knows I'm worthless for the continuation of the family line." she said after a moment. "But what they don't know-" she inhaled, exhaled. Thought of the album upstairs. "I'll be right back, unless you want to follow me to my study. But... don't leave, this is... important. Okay?"
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 10:27 am
“I won’t tell anyone.” She stated after a while, not that she had anyone to tell. It was none of her business really and a topic that was obviously very sensitive to Jada. She shook her head as she spoke about family though, Yvaine did not know why she was so dismissive about the topic; maybe because she had not had any in nearly a decade now. “And ******** family lines, people are more than another branch of a tree. Besides, you're only one bad day away from being a nobody without a name or heritage.” She had been a parasite for so long, clinging to others to support her and living on the streets when she couldn’t. Growing up she never appreciated her parents, but hindsight was a b***h and she found herself wanting to run home more often than not. Alas, they were no arms open and waiting for her, no comfort to be found with people who would know her as nothing more than a stranger.
Xander was going to be a grandfather, but for all he knew his little girl had burned alive in a house fire. Do you miss me, daddy? Do you feel guilty about leaving now there is no taking it back; no time to repay the years that we have lost? It was not really worth thinking about anymore; she had forgiven him long ago. He was not a strong man, lacked the fortitude and courage to handle things when they got hard - and she could not bring herself to hate a man for being human. Heck, maybe all along she was just jealous of the fact that he ran away before she had the chance. She smiled, what role models she had to draw inspiration from in her motherhood.
Maybe the fact she never had money, never had a loving household or a name to be proud of; maybe that was why it was hard for her to understand the tribulations that came with money and power - because she was always powerless.
She processed the words Jada told her, processed the shakiness in her voice. She could not imagine being told that news, especially when she was so young. Jada’s words were confusing her though, especially to her illuding that she was ‘doing better’ than she did. Yvaine did not question it though as it seemed Jada was more than willing to explain. “I am not going anywhere just yet, but I better get moving or I am never gonna leave.” She stood up from the couch, stretching her legs some, turning to follow Jada to the study. “Lead the way, I am right behind you.” She reassured her, but she paused for a moment.
”Jada… I am sorry, about the attack.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 12:10 pm
"People are, but my mother was very much one to concern herself with legacy, and inheritance. She never forgot that she was like 6 generations and a poorly-timed birth away from a title." Jada rolled her eyes, waving her hand. "Born to all that wealth and power, and she fell in love with a poor man's son." She had been disinherited for marrying Jada's father, but Elisabeta never had any other children, and Lucian wasn't the sort to leave his money to a b*****d. "Poverty taught my mother to appreciate the trappings and expectations she'd hated as a child." Poverty had led to her being willing to make plans for Jada's future- for the futures of all of her daughters, that... Giulia would never have to suffer.
She led the other woman out of the study and towards the stairs, shaking her head at the apology. "Life is strange," she said after a moment. "All I've ever wanted- since I was Giulia's age, probably- was a family. I didn't plan the wedding- weddings are for parents, you put on a costume and smile, and when it's over, you get to start the real adventure. I dreamed of a husband who came home and couldn't wait to see me, someone to hold my hand and curl up on the couch and watch stupid movies with me... a partner to laugh and hold my hand. All the things I wouldn't ever have. I didn't get to look forward to someone loving me, just enjoying my company enough to be kind and humor my self-discovery, when I was free of my mother. I planned the things I'd let my kids see, that I'd try and raise them to be charitable and-"
Jada stopped, head shaking again. "I got that chance with Giulia and Aidan. The children I never thought I'd have. They were only two, and I was terrified, because by that point, those dreams were dead. My dad-" she laughed. "My father clearly wasn't theirs. Mother was 6 months pregnant when he passed her the divorce papers, but he raised them until... I was ready. After... people were having visions, and dreams of this... god-awful future, and it was- everyone on Order was dying. My father working with the Negaverse, though I don't know if he was..."
Silence reigned, as they made it to the second floor. "Long story trying to be short, I caught up with an old lover, around that time. We said that it wasn't the future we wanted. Were gonna try and make things better. And then I left him, because he deserved someone who wasn't half broken. I was going to get better, fix myself. I didn't, for almost three months." She pushed open the door to the study, moved over to the photo album on her desk and lifted it, gesturing to the sofa by the fireplace as she took a seat herself, opening the cover and holding it to her chest, not letting Yvaine see, yet. "And then someone tried to kill me. Or roofie me, and just winded up almost killing me on accident, though I doubt they would have cared either way. On January 4th, I woke up alone and scared in a hospital, and they told me that I was almost 12 weeks pregnant."
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 12:40 pm
Yvaine followed her and she listened, not really knowing what to say. She could not relate, she could not even comprehend most of it. Dreams. Who did she want to marry when she grew up? When she was Giulia’s age all she wanted to do was escape; to not have to hear her parents arguing, to not be locked in rooms unable to get out, to not recoil every time her mother reached out to touch her. Then when she grew up a little more, all she had to worry about was making sure her mother took her medication, that she did not set fire to the house whilst she was asleep, that she was not going to stick a knife between her shoulder blades when her back was turned. It was the task her father left her when she was too young to care for herself, survive.
Between all that there was not really any time to think about marriage of family. Maybe in many ways it was best not to hope, maybe it even made her lucky, she did not have to be let down.
The visions though, that was something she did not about and she went silent. Taking the queue to sit down on the sofa by the fireplace. She was unsure of where this was going, or how it was meant to answer any question. She listened though, not saying much, but listening nonetheless. This was Jada’s story, and she would let her tell it. She looked over, shifting slightly as Jada explained she woke up in the hospital; feeling almost useless in that she did not know what to say. “Yea, life is really strange that way.” She shrugged slightly, her eyes sympathetic. Maybe this is why Elzo does not tell you anything Yvaine, you have the emotional capacity of a ******** ferret.
“Then what happened?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 1:16 pm
It was probably good that Jada didn't expect any pity or condolences for her rich girl tale of woe. For none came, and it was almost reassuring. Pity meant that people might stop listening, and her advice had nothing to do with childhood dreams, or nightmares. It had to do with the mistakes she had made, that Yvaine was already avoiding. "My pregnancy was a miracle, a terrifying accident, poorly timed, and a complete and utter wake up call for where my life was heading. The responsibilities I was avoiding, and the fact I was doing nothing to get myself to where I wanted to be." she lowered the photo album now, passing it over to the other woman.
"Then I did what you have been smart enough not to. I told no one. I had those records sealed, destroyed. I didn't tell my friends, didn't tell my family. I enrolled myself in the most exclusive and expensive rehab facilities for my addiction, and I made sure the paparazzi knew that I was ill, and having so many issues with my rehabilitation. Every time I tried to tell the father, I backed down, for a wide variety of reasons. Once I heard his company laughing in the background. Once, I just couldn't get the words out. Once, he didn't answer the phone. Once, I changed my mind and lied, because I couldn't stand the idea that he might reject us." What had she told him instead? I am going to get better too. For me. For you. For our children. "But I took pictures. Every day." she gestured at the album. "Proof that being who I am- what I am- gave me a second chance I probably didn't deserve, even if it took years for me to heal."
Pages upon pages of selfies, poor hospital lighting. The pictures told her story in a way better than words- her body's change from slender and almost ill, to healthy and round with child. Her rehabilitation, that fight, and how hard she had worked to protect that little life. "I picked my hospital carefully. Choosing to give birth in Rome was a risk, so close to Giovanni. He wanted the twins, of course. I figured right under his nose, with as many NDA's as I had- I even was using a fake name for those last few appointments. No one knew I was pregnant except my doctors, Amelie, and the twins."
Swallowing, Jada said simply, "I almost died. And until recently, I thought Hope had. I thought anonymity would protect me. My child. I was wrong. Not telling anyone left me vulnerable. I underestimated my enemy, and he took my daughter, and let me think I had failed her." she leaned back. "You asked what I would do, in your shoes? Tell the father. Give him a chance, and a choice. But know that what happened to us? Will never happen to you, or your child, unless it is quite literally over my dead body. If you want this child, keep it."
She still had the printout of Giovanni's simple demands. if she had to give the twins to Elzo, and sell herself to his father in order to get access to her daughter, and position herself to better protect Yvaine? Well, sometimes you had to sacrifice a piece.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 1:33 pm
“Giovanni?” She asked, looking through the pages, her hands starting to shake. It was scary, seeing it front of her, she had not even thought about the pregnancy, how her body would change. It was almost too much to look at.
“Jada I don’t understand.” Her nose twitched lightly, all too elaborate for her to wrap her head around. How did she think her child had died? Who was the enemy? Why would Giovanni do all this? to get the twins? Just for control? She shook her head trying to wrap her head around the situation, almost too calculated for her own good. She was trying to put herself in his shoes, to try and make sense on a motive. Lies, upon lies, upon lies and deception for countless years. The webs that bound this family, they were suffocating, ready to hang them; and she could almost see the threads around Jada’s neck. She wanted to help, but she did not know how.
“All this for the twins? All this suffering for two little children?” She whispered under her breath, her brows furrowed. Yvaine shook her head and slammed the book shut, she was sure Jada had the best intentions but she did not care about her condition or Elzo right in that moment. “No, no stop, forget about that it’s nothing. I can handle myself; you are telling me he has your daughter?” She asked, no longer feeling sorry for herself, she was angry. If she could still power up, she would kill him.
“And the only people that knew you were pregnant were the twins, the doctors…. And-.” She paused again, maybe it was because she was looking at the situation with fresh eyes, but that seemed suspicious.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:01 pm
Yvaine's confusion was understandable,. Jada had thrown weight onto the situation that her friend probably didn't need. She had shown those pictures, and told her exactly what Jada would have done in that situation- the prime example of what she prayed that Yvaine would not do, taking her cue from Jada's own loss and mismanagement of the situation.
"They are his," she said simply, and her face was carefully neutral. "Giovanni is the kind of man who doesn't much like defiance. Or-" well, he did. He just liked tearing that defiance apart piece by piece, stripping it bare and impressing his will upon what was left behind. "I was given something he wanted, and didn't give it to him like a good girl. He found what chinks he could, and I played my cards wrong." It was a game of chess, with him, and Jada was sitting on her next move, with the clock timer running out before she might forfeit her turn.
Her lips thinned, and her eyes were sad for a moment, before she reached out, flipping to the last page. A little girl, with Jada's black hair and lilting smile, and her father's eyes. A cake, a horse, a birthday, and then with Giovanni, the portrait so perfectly placed that he could not easily be cropped from it, the smile on his face victorious, and Hope's so naive and affectionate to the man who held her. It was answer enough.
"The twins thought it was fun, like I'd swallowed a basketball. They don't remember now, I don't think. Amelie had been hand-picked by my mother, and worked with my father so well, I kept her. She loves them, as much as she's paid for it. The doctors were tied up in so many NDA's, and I thought my daughter was gone. I didn't go digging on if they'd let something slip." Or if anyone had.
She had mourned, and she had tried to move on.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:24 pm
psize=11]Yvaine thought for a moment, a good hard moment. “Do Elzo and Marlo know?” She asked, closing the book carefully, in no mood to see Giovanni’s face. She held it back towards Jada, being very careful with it, like it was precious. She just wanted to cry, to show some sign that she was not cold, but tears would not come. The only time she had cried in recent memory was when Elzo cried, something about seeing him in pain always seemed to inspire the unnatural reaction from her. “Jada, I am sorry.” She finally said after a while. An arm moved around the woman's shoulder, holding her close, if she wanted to be held or not. “I really admire you for still being able to feel and trust and be yourself after all that. Thank you for telling me.” She whispered to her, trying to work out how to make it right. Hoping she could magically come up with an answer, though she is sure Jada had already followed ever string.
“Jada, I need to go soon Jada.” She did not want to, she wished she had not text Elzo earlier, she wanted to stay with her friend and make sure she was okay. “When I was growing up, I never wanted to marry anybody you know. Love was this stupid inconvenience, because everyone I loved hurt me, and abused me, and beat me down and I put up with it because it was family. Men to me were people that had power over you, my career only as prominent as the producer I was bedding that week and I kept crawling back because I was a self-destructive little s**t who wanted to spite my mother. And when I had enough when it finally broke me, I was living on the streets and all I wanted to do was curl up and die alone somewhere, that is when Elzo- Castor found me and now I don’t want to marry anybody else.
It is funny how that works, huh?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 3:05 pm
Her smile wobbled. "Marlo knows," she said after a moment. "Once I found out, I had to tell Hope's father, after all. If he told Elzo, I honestly don't know." Strange, that only in despair had she the strength to tell him- or was too weak to keep the secret from him anymore. "I'd never planned to tell him." He would have found out anyways, of course. It was harder to hide a person than a fetus. And with his own life getting on track, she didn't want it to seem like she had been trying... well. "I didn't tell you this for you to be sorry, Yvaine."
She sank into Yvaine's grasp, relaxing. Jada was tactile. Human contact was the kind of thing she adored. And she was starved for it. "I don't want you to make my mistakes, Yvaine. Oh, I'm sure you'll make your own, you're human. But you have been so very brave, and I am so proud of how far you've come since you first joined us." she lay her cheek against the larger woman's shoulder, embracing her carefully, but firmly. Yvaine was pregnant- not fragile.
I need to go soon. pulling away, the model blinked brimming eyes, surprised that she had gotten so emotional in the conversation. It still hurt, she supposed, even though she tried to fortify herself.
So alike, and in such different ways. Szelem had always been thinking that she was doing what was best, setting her eldest daughter up for a hopeless, empty future, sending her out as a young woman to spend evenings out with men who were far too old for her. The only man she'd been able to trust was her daddy, and even him only so far as he stretched himself beyond his wife's grasp. And Jada had taken it because she didn't know better, and to protect Kayley and Zora as much as she could from the empty unhappiness that filled her.
But there were different kinds of emptiness, and Yvaine's sounded infinitely more painful. "Life is strange." she repeated the phrase with a watery smile. "I won't lie to you anymore, Yvaine. You're part of this family and I should have at least told you about the twins before now. If you have questions, when you return, I'll give you what answers I can, or point you to the person who needs to tell you. But for now, you're right."
She let go of her friend, sniffed deeply. "You do need to go. You were gonna take the jag, right? Not walking?" she pushed at her cheeks, trying to think. "Don't forget your phone." Mama Jada, making her way back.
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Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:39 am
“Haha, where me and Kam lived? I would be safer walking.” She shook her head and stood up, people around there did not have any money, and turning up in a fancy car was as good as putting a target on her back. Nah, she would walk, she used to live on those streets after all; she was not afraid of them. Besides, she needed the air, she needed time to think, process what she had just heard. It was going to be tough, to convince herself to stay here. Everything seemed to desperate, so sad all the time, and she did not know if she had the capacity to endure.
All Yvaine wanted was a quiet life, peace. What were the chances of that with Giovanni? What were the chances when there was always some force ready to cause a storm just after the dust had settled. She held up her phone to show Jada that she had it in her pocket. “But I will send you a text later, so don’t worry.” She reassured her.
And then she set off.
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Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 9:49 am
Jada nodded, and if her smile was wan when Yvaine stood up to leave, she said nothing to try and change her mind about the car. The phone and promise of a text was good enough. She had lots of things to sort through- the opening of her own wounds, her worry over what would happen. If Yvaine planned to leave, Jada would need to make sure she had the cash to vanish without a traceable trail- or be ready to help her if she chose to stay.
Yvaine left the room and Jada waited until the door shut before she closed her eyes, sinking down into the couch and putting her hands over her face. Yvaine spoke like she had already decided to keep the fetus- I need to put my child first. How hard would it be, still having some vaguely scrambled memories from tearing up your entire life, a low-count support system, and then meeting Giovanni and then finding out you were pregnant. The fact she wanted anything to do with their tragedy was amazing.
It sounded so much worse than it was, reading it. Their lives sounded like something from a VC Andrews novel, all tied up in poison lies and tied with a garrote for a bow, but...
s**t. Jada curled up into a ball on the couch, holding the album to her chest, staring at the fire. Please don't let me have made this worse.
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