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 Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 4:14 pm
"You can't do everything everyone wants," Roswell said. "And you're going to drop it all trying to. I'm only saying not to worry about it. If you sleep with him, I won't dislike you any more or less, but I'll be extremely cross with him."
Roswell smiled at Merric.
"But I don't think he's going to." And this was said almost as a threat. "For the time being. I, again, don't want to worry you unduly."
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 4:34 pm
He knew this, on a basic level, and yet -
Roswell was given a smile that didn't reach Merric's eyes, something sad edged around the corners of it.
"I don't know any other way to live except to try and do what I can for people," he said, and the ache of loneliness pressed down onto him, curled in his chest and expanded outwards, filling him with the knowledge that it was all that he was capable of doing.
Roswell's tone was clear. Merric swallowed hard, and then said, quietly, "I was going...to try and tell him no." The week was up; and this was painful to admit, especially aloud. "Not because I...because I think, perhaps, that he doesn't...actually want to."
The self deprecating, weak smile was still on his face.
"I think perhaps I was just...there. And it was convenient."
I'm not the one he actually wants.
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 6:35 pm
"You don't have to be afraid of being an inconvenience all the time," Roswell said, softening a little.
"He was worried he'd ruined his friendship with you. It isn't like he's been propositioning everyone here. ...Or anyone else here."
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 6:52 pm
His thumb ran absently along the edge of his ring. "I'm afraid that's just...my general mindset," said Merric weakly; an attempt at glibness that didn't quite follow through. "Or rather, that's just what I'm used to, so it's - I mean, that's essentially who I am."
Always the inconvenience.
Merric's chest was still too tight. "No - " he said quickly, "No, he - he wasn't the one who ruined anything, I thought that I - that because I let it get to the point it did, that I was the one who had ruined things, and I..."
I'm still afraid of that. It seemed impossible otherwise.
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Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 5:48 am
"Well, it's not ruined," Roswell said. "And you're not an inconvenience.
I enjoy your company too." He sighed. "Lysander and I have known each other for a good bit of time, and I know him well enough to understand him, even when I disagree with him, which is often. I think, however, it's a quality that he appreciates, because he often is aware when he's being ridiculous, but can't help but take things as far as he's allowed. So, it's better for him to have some framework. I, um," Roswell straightened his tie a bit, not sure how to phrase any of this in polite company, and looking at Merric pleadingly for understanding.
"Wouldn't you agree that where possible, all parties should reach a mutual place of agreement?"
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Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 6:23 am
He wished it was that simple; that Roswell telling him he wasn't an inconvenience actually made him feel less like he was one. And really, again, it wasn't entirely surprising that Lysander liked to push things as far as he did; Roswell was essentially the key to keeping him in line, in many ways.
The ache in his chest pressed further. Rinzler made a disapproving noise.
Roswell's question had Merric's head rising up so that he could look at him, lips parting in a startled, confused expression, brows drawing together.
"I..." It should have been a simple question, except Roswell's desperate glance indicated otherwise. The flush was still on Merric's face.
"I - yes," he said, fumbling over the word, embarrassment rising. "Yes, I - yes you're right, mutual understanding and agreement is very important."
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Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 6:58 pm
"It isn't always possible, of course. But in this case, I think it might be.
I'd appreciate that instead of no, if you just told Lysander you'd prefer to come to a mutually beneficial arrangement."
Roswell stopped by his own door, which he shared with Lysander.
"I suspect that's closer to your feelings in the first place. I don't think you want to cause...anyone, any difficulties, but um, perhaps didn't see a situation where that would be the case."
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Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:51 pm
He knew that only too well. The not always possible part, that was. Merric came to a stop as Roswell did, his footsteps slowing, lips parting in an expression that was part surprise, part shame, and part confusion, his brows drawing together.
The idea that Roswell did not hate him for this was mind-blowing. He couldn't quite get it through his head.
"I've never wanted to cause anyone difficulties," said Merric, "least of all either of you."
He didn't matter himself, but Roswell was right; he hadn't seen a way to make this better at all. Merric cleared his throat, his thoughts spinning in several different directions all at the same time while he attempted to make some sense of any of this.
"I - yes, I can try and...and tell him that."
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:08 am
"Good, yes, that's what I thought. I'll be right out."
Roswell disappeared for a while, and when he came back he looked distinctly more casual than usual, but he certainly hadn't neglected color, in a flattering pair of swimtrunks and t-shirt.
"When we first started, I did try to press them for details about the location so I would better know how to pack, but they just said dress for every situation." He brushed out the front of the t-shirt, wishing he had a larger collection of clothing that it was fine to ruin.
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 5:54 pm
Merric spent the time while Roswell was changing still trying to work out what on earth had just happened. He couldn't be positive of what had been insinuated, because he'd never been good at picking up hints or subtleties when it came to...well, anything.
He lost his train of thought, however, when Roswell reappeared.
"You're...you're wearing a teeshirt," said Merric, sounding flummoxed about this, because he had never seen Roswell in anything less than impeccably tailored clothes and neatly fitted everything.
Merric cleared his throat. "Ah, yes, I...heard that as well, but I still only have...well..." He gestured awkwardly at his clothes. "I suppose I do have a few less tidy things."
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 6:52 pm
"Right. Where's your room? I'm not having a ruined white shirt on my conscience."
It was a very nice shirt.
What Roswell had mostly been trying to insinuate without directly saying was not right now, because if there was going to be any kind of that sort of thing, it was not going to be because Lysander was proving that he could and that Roswell wasn't the boss of him.
Lysander was, of course, the boss.
But a boss and some kind of no-boundaries master were two entirely different things, and Roswell's relationship with Lysander was of the first variety.
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:38 pm
Well, he did have a point. Merric led the way down the hallway to his room, which wasn't that far off from Roswell and Lysander's. His mind was still working - overworking, on many levels, because he was Merric, and he couldn't help it - but at least he was relaxing.
Sort of.
"Here," said Merric at length, gesturing to Room 97. "I, ah, you can come in if you'd like, I'm...not sure what there is to wear."
He unlocked the door, then pushed it open. It was quite a small room, as most trainee ones were, and extremely simply decorated with almost nothing in it whatsoever, save for a small, framed photograph on one of the desks and a mug depicting a happy panda bear beside it.
Merric went to his closet, frowning at his wardrobe.
"Uh...one moment..."
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:48 pm
Roswell raised an eyebrow at the offer to come in, but did so anyway, sitting on Merric's bed and folding one leg neatly over the other. He couldn't help but take a quick inventory of said room, which was bare (bear?).
He realised he wasn't sure if Merric was also having his pay and leave withheld.
"Nothing that dries quickly?" He asked.
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 8:03 pm
"Perhaps..." Merric said, voice a little muffled as he sorted through things. It wasn't even that he had that much clothing to start with - he had barely any at all, really - but most of it was what he usually wore, consisting of dress slacks and neatly pressed shirts and a nice variety of waistcoats to go along with everything. "I suppose this one could do..?"
He wrangled a short-sleeved shirt from the bar and held it up, still on the hanger. It was simple, and still neat, but less formal than the rest, a gray button down that Merric had gotten second hand.
"And I have a pair of slacks I don't care about as much," he added, frowning at the shirt.
He still hadn't quite realized the situation at hand.
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 8:10 pm
"We are most certainly going to need to get you swimwear," Roswell said critically. "But as long as it's something you can afford to rough up. At least it's sand, rather than mud."
Roswell, who had realized the situation the moment the invitation was extended, seemed unperturbed.
"I can't believe the only place to get clothes on this island is the quartermaster.
Although, if their claims are to be believed, Milan is only moments away."
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