|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 9:09 pm
"I could.... I could show you sometime. If you wanted." Airi offered, licking at his upper jaw almost nervously.
Airi almost flinched at her question. "You make it sound like it's a bad thing to be a youma. You've never been one, what would you know about it? How can you judge when you know nothing about something?" The youma's ear's flatten against his head, and he tried to appear smaller then he was by laying back down against the ground. "Yes, though... He's... he's human. What more do you want me to say?" The youma mumbled.
"I think all I did was scare him really.. There were some... communication issues between us..." There were so many things left unsaid... What would have Evan said, if he could have talked as a youma??? I think I scare him now... I don't know if he thinks that, just because he's a human now, that I'm going to attack and hurt him. I don't want to do that." That was the last thing he wanted.
"He says that I don't know him. I don't know him because I didn't know what he was like before we met... Maybe that's true... But I know him from his time as a youma, and that's all I care about. Does he think that anything he's done before that, is going to change how I think about him?" Why should that even matter? "I don't understand it. He won't talk to me now." Not that he could before hand... "But... If we're friends... It shouldn't matter right? If he tells me or not. Nothing can change how I feel for him. That's how being a friend works, isn't it? I should accept someone no matter what, correct?"
Airi laughed listlessly. "My Captain... He had this... friend that use to come over. The two of them use to joke that sometimes I acted more like a large house dog instead of a youma. Sometimes I wonder if they were right." How much of a failure was he really. He couldn't protect Natron from the dragon. He had spent the last few years struggling with Fangite, and now. Now he couldn't even protect Evan properly. "What good am I Lysithea?"
"We can. If that's something you wanted to." Airi said quietly, lowering his head to rest by his paws. "I don't know how well that particular issue will go... But I suppose it's better to try, then do nothing at all." Again Airi flinched, only this time he shifted away from the senshi. "You keep saying again. You don't even know if I was human in the first place. How can I be something again, if I was never one in the first place? You sound like you're trying to fix me. You can't fix everything you know... You can't save everything either. How can you fix something that is potentially not even broken in the first place?
What if this is where he was meant to be.
"I.... I suppose we could try." He muttered. "About the last part... We'll see about the rest."
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:02 pm
“No, I haven’t been a youma before…and I hope I don’t ever have to be one…but…and, I’m not trying to be a butt about this…but Airi, you’re the one talking as though you don’t want to be a youma anymore. I’m just going off of what you were saying and…”
She grew quiet, listening to him talk about his friend…who sounded as though he was a bit more than a friend, at least in Airi’s eyes…but on the other hand…it made sense, in a way. If someone was turned into a monster…having a monster for a friend would only really bring up bad memories…
Lysithea moved closer to Airi and flopped down beside him, reaching out and petting the fur behind one of the large creatures ears. “Well…I say again, because I want there to be hope for you. You…you don’t act like you were a monster from the start. You don’t talk like you were. You have…rationality and…I think that…speaks volumes…and I can fix everything, thank you very much. Or at least…I can try to. When I stop trying, that’s when I’ll end up losing everything…so why discourage me from trying to fix it all. Someone has to.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 6:46 pm
"Maybe I am... But I don't know anything else. Again, you keep talking as talking as if I was human once. That I could go back. We don't even know if that's the case. And what if it's not huh? What happens if I was never human in the first place and you try something on me. Does that mean I automatically die because there was nothing before being a youma?" Airi huffed, ears flattening slightly. I'd rather be this, then be dead."
When Lysithea flopped down beside him, the youma tensed. Even more so when her fingers slipped into the fur behind his ear. But slowly, the tension bleed out of him as he shifted, curling his body around her. There was a part of his brain that told him he was being to risky. That he was taking a chance he shouldn't be, but he ignored it. His gaze flickered to her lap before darting towards her face for a second. Hesitantly Airi shifted again, nosing his head into her lap before falling still altogether.
"I want to think that some part of the way I act... is from my Captain. Both... The one I have now, and the one before him. They never really struck me as the typical Negaverse Agent... They were never one to follow that kind of... militaristic work style." He wasn't exactly sure how to explain it. "They were... are, close." He muttered. "They looked out for one another. They looked out for their loved ones. They aren't as heartless as most Senshi and Knights think Agents can be."
When she talked about being able to fix anything, Airi rolled his eyes. "Isn't that a thing most humans claim they can do? Being able to fix everything." He snorted. "You know... sometimes something broken can lead you to better results then something completely fix." He mumbled before falling silent for a few moments. "...I was... just watching them. I wanted to see if I could learn from them. The humans."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 9:32 pm
“Well, I’m sorry. I just…want to have hope, I’ll try not to keep voicing it.” When the youma had placed his head in her lap, Lysithea again felt that surge of hope…and she had to struggle to keep her mouth shut about it…but…he seemed worthy to help, and she wanted to help him…even…if he hadn’t been human…he wouldn’t just die…that’s not how purification worked, did it? He couldn’t be just pure…evil if he was able to be so cuddly and feel so strongly for someone else. If he were pure evil…wouldn’t he have been attacking the humans rather than just watching them? That seemed a lot more reasonable to her, at least.
“Do you think I’d be able to meet them sometime? Maybe…they’d want to leave the Negaverse too…not that I’m going to push them…but if you’re the one saying that they don’t strike you as typical Negaverse Agents…perhaps they weren’t meant to be?”
She knew she was being pushy. Again, but…She couldn’t help it.
Softly she sighed and rubbed the youma’s ear again, letting her eyes close. “Did you learn what you were hoping to learn, Airi?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 10:14 pm
"Don't get me wrong, the concept is... appealing. But your friend was a human before wasn't he? So at the very least you knwo it works on youma who were human before hand. But what proof do you have that would work on someone, or something that you don't know the origins of? How do either of us know that this thing, wouldn't just kill me outright because I have nothing else to turn into. I told you, if that's the case, I can't take that chance. I can't leave my Captain."
Airi fidgeted in place slightly. "It's possible.. Though I don't know how soon it could be arranged... My Captain... both he and my former are trying to get passed something traumatic... They need time to rest. But, it's possible." Airi's ears flattened fully and the youma almost tried to make himself smaller. "I don't know if they would purify... Or at least, my current Captain. He has these nightmares occasionally that plague him. He speaks of being some Knight of one of the princesses... I don't remember which. But he is terrified of those nightmares. He's said that he never had a name." Whatever that meant. "That he acted more like a zombie then anything else. I think he's scared of it happening again." Fangite had had those dreams for years, and they never seemed to get any easier. "I don't know much about it. It's not like youmas dream after all."
Airi snorted slightly. "That's true... But then again, wouldn't that be a good thing for you? In a way. Just because they are part of Chaos... doesn't necessarily make them 'evil' right? They could be an ally. Not everyone on the opposing side is against you. It just means they fight for something different. Can you really blame someone for that?"
A quiet sigh escaped him and Airi shook his head without lifting it. "No. I'm just as confused as I was when I started this... I don't understand any of it. I thought that, if I could begin to understand humans more... Maybe my friend would talk to me more.. Maybe I could learn what he was like, before he was a youma..." Another quiet sigh that sounded almost like a whine escaped him.
"Maybe... Maybe Evan wouldn't be scared to even look at me.. Let alone have me around."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2017 10:54 pm
“You’re very loyal, Airi. Your captain is lucky to have you, it seems…and yes, I understand what you’re saying, about them possibly being allys…but…chaos in and of itself is bad. It’s a corrosive substance, at least from my understanding. It warps people…” Her voice trailed off and Lysithea’s brows furrowed as Airi mentioned Evan.
…Evan?
…Clearly it had to be her Evan…if there was another Evan in the city who had been turned into a youma and back again…she would be very surprised, and actually, quite alarmed. But…well.
Huh.
“Well…have you…uh…spoken to your friend about this?” She continued rubbing his fur, trying to be as soothing as possible. “Because, if you’re trying to remain friends…you have to realize that..it must be strange to go from a human to a youma and back to a human…perhaps you should put yourself in his shoes, even though you’re not sure you’ve gone through the same thing, if you try to empathize…you might get a lot more results?”
She was going to have to talk to Evan about this when she got home. Or…maybe she wouldn’t. She would at least talk to Zac. That much was for sure.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:31 am
The youma huffed and rolled his eyes. "You just said I was loyal. Do I seem warped to you? Did your friend, when he was a youma, seem warped? Despite his appearance. What we are does not define who we are. Its our actions that define us. What we choose. What we resist. What we're willing to die for."
Airi's head rose as he shook it. "No. I... I let myself believe that I was causing them harm, just by being around them. Even if I wasn't actually doing so." Much like the case was here tonight. "I did not want to upset them with my presence... If being a youma was so bad for him, despite my attempts to make it as easy as I could. I wouldn't want him to have to relive that. I don't like being away from him, but I know that it's what's best for him. If... If he's trying to put his life back together, he doesn't need me mucking it up." Airi lowered his head back into her lap as his ears drooped. His bushy tail seemed minuscule as he tried to hide it against his leg. "I don't want to upset him... I don't want to hurt him. I've never wanted to hurt him. Even when he was a youma."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:39 am
“Before you keep yelling at me, I think you should perhaps listen to what I’m saying. I wasn’t calling you warped. I was warning you that for your captain, chaos warps people. You said he wasn’t like other—Nevermind. You’re going to be defensive no matter what I say.”
Lysithea reached up, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Well, if you haven’t spoken to him about this, I’m not sure how you can really know that it’s all true? It sounds as though you’re the one who’s really afraid to talk to him. To seek him out. How do you even know how he’s doing? Perhaps he’s a youma again, or perhaps he’s gotten hurt…if you want to protect him so badly…you’re sure that leaving him alone to deal with all of that was a wise idea?”
She was being rude, she knew…but…
It was exhausting getting chewed out for everything that came out of her mouth. “I should get going…it’s getting late, but we’ll have to plan a time to meet again, okay?” It would be better to leave before saying anything too bad…she didn’t want this all to go too far downhill. She should have just kept her mouth shut in the first place.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 9:33 pm
"But I'm chaos aren't I? Or at least, some form of it." He mumbled quietly. "I don't think I'm warped... And I don't think my Captains are." Though maybe he was biased.
"I've seen him once since the change. He was really scared at the time, though I can't really blame him. I came crawling through the window with no warning. I probably did more harm then good, doing that." Airi sighed. "I want to see him, believe me I do. I want nothing more. But, if he's scared of youma... of me, isn't better if I just clear out and stay away? I don't know what to do in this sort of situation. I've... I've never been in it before." The youma whined, almost as if paniced at the thought of Evan being hurt again. "No!" He yelped. "I don't want him to get hurt, but if I'm around him he could be. Youma's and humans don't have the best history either. It's... It's not that I don't want to be around him.. It's that I'm scared to be. What if I hurt him. After everything I've said and promised him. What if I lose myself and he's the one who suffers for it? I knew how miserable he was as a youma and despite my best efforts, I knew I couldn't change him back even if I wanted to. Do you think I like seeing him terrified to even be around me? To see him shaking if I try to get close. Do you have any idea what it's like to get told you don't know someone, and then realize that they're right? I don't know him. I only know a part of him. If he got hurt, because of me, be it mentally, physically, emotionally, whatever kind of way possible, I wouldn't be able to handle that. I'm scared to be around him almost, if not more then he is to be around me. I've never met anyone like him... I just want him to be safe and happy... I would give anything, to stay with him. But we all know that I can't. Not when I look like this."
Airi withdrew himself when Lysithea mentioned she should leave. "You're probably right... We both should... I've likely caused enough damage here..." Though he made no effort to immediately leave. "Thank you." He supposed. "For not being one of those 'Dust First, Ask Later' kind of senshi's."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 1:06 pm
...There had been a youma in their house? For a moment, Lysithea felt almost angry at Evan. Why wouldn’t he have told her about this? It was a pretty important thing, in all honesty.
…And she hoped it had been the old house and not the new one.
Lysithea slowly got to her feet, brushing the dirt and grass from her dress as she did so, still trying to think about all that was just said, and trying to say what she wanted to say in a way that wouldn’t…make her seem like too much of an a**. “Well. I think you have a choice to make then. What scares you more? Perhaps dying if purifying you doesn’t work and you were never human to begin with…or hurting your friend because you’re a giant spiky dog with huge teeth and he’s afraid of you? Because, I’ve offered to help you, and you say that scares you…so now it’s time to really think about what’s the scariest.” She took a few steps away, turning her back on Airi, though paused. “Meet me here in two weeks, okay? Same spot. I have some thinking to do too, and hopefully, maybe in two weeks time you’ve thought of what you want most. What’s worth the risk.”
She was quiet for a long, long moment. “I can help you. I’m a part of the group that turned a youma back into a human. So we can help you, if you want it. But I know it won’t work if you’re not totally sure that’s what you want.”
Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so forthcoming…but. Lysithea figured that he’d figure it out one day anyway.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
![[Mistress Morbid]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/3e/dd/5052589139dd3e_flip.png?t=1545372613_6.00_11)
