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This quest is quite large at this point, so after the hurricane I'm trying to kinda get back into this and follow along with what has happened since I left.

I think the issue here is that you want to leave a lot of things open to interpretation for later, but a lot of those things end up being situations that could result in things not allowed within Tendaji, and things that are a part of her history (which needs to be finalized before approval can be given) so we need them to be explained better to us.

There's something in here that is sticking out to me within the critiques we're providing, which is when you commented that "I knew she was a bit dark going into this, so guide me along the ways of what is acceptable and I will work to fudge it to fit within the parameters of what the guild requires without compromising the guidelines of what I require out of her to fit the character I want." The problem I'm seeing here is that while we want owners to have the characters that they want, if they fundamentally don't work within the world of Tendaji they will have to be changed. So I don't think this character is going to be able to come out of this quest without some changing to what you were expecting.

We are really unable to approve the quest if everything we ask ends up being undecided until later. It's something that we feel is important to get the information before approving, and if you aren't able to answer we won't be able to approve her for play until it is worked out. (why yael, why not oba; the character's mom and her history)

In Tendaji, it is NOT normal for children to be dissecting things. It is not learned in school and it is not encouraged, there is no reference to dissecting things in their simple forms of sciences, so using our world and our reality to back up your idea of it being normal for a child (or at least not unheard of) and putting this: "I’m not sure what sort of issue staff has with this “odd theory” of dissection and the study of anatomy, but how else is she supposed to learn?" is not really explaining anything to us. There is no reference to it in Tendaji, so how did she come up with the idea? What was it that led her to dissecting? In a world that has not even begun to invent surgery and relies heavily on magic, why would she know that she needed to study the body in order to heal people: Why cut open more (hurt the skin and insides more) to heal, when that isn't normal in Tendaji? You haven't really answered a lot of our questions yet.

"Taxidermy is not a foreign art." Taxidermy does not exist in Tendaji. Again, you're using a RL base to guide what constitutes normal in Tendaji. There is no practice of taxidermy in Tendaji, so how is this normal/not foreign? These things we keep bringing up are not because we can’t believe that someone would do it or won’t allow someone to do it, we want to know why they do it, how they turned to it, when it’s not practiced or known in Tendaji.

How is her father going to be connected to Oba? You mentioned an aim chat, but it hasn’t been reflected within the quest, so I don’t know what’s going on. What is his story now? Is he moving to Oba? Can you explain what you’ve updated with him?

What is the mother doing? Has her story changed? What is your decision on how to handle her past, how she gives up the baby, etc? You provided a lot of alternatives but haven’t actually told us “yes, this is what happened”.

The problems I see with this quest could mostly be solved with a little bit of open-mindedness to what we might suggest and how we are trying to approach things. The knowledge that you're looking for, the reason for her coming to these conclusions doesn't fit within Tendaji, but they would within Belrea. Belrea is dedicated to learning things, and would no doubt have started to figure out human systems a little more than the Tendaji side. I would suggest - in order to have this quest approved and actually make sense in the shop - for her to not have the knowledge or idea until she visits Belrea (as possibly a prentice). Maybe she travels there and sits in on some of the public lectures, learning more about their medicine practices, follows under someone and learns more, giving her the reason to start dissecting things in Tendaji. She can bring her knowledge back to Yael, or wherever she ends up and continue the practice and learning on her own. This would mostly just require a shift of timelines and additional plots within Belrea. Or she can be Belrean, and then it would be more natural for her to think like this. She could be Oban, and then her family would make sense having ties to the assassin group that you want to tie them to. I see that you want a yaeli, but this character in particular doesn’t have to be that yaeli. If you are that set in having her history, her father’s shady business, and the horns, it would be 100x easier for her to be Oban. You could have another character be yaeli. These are just some of the suggestions that come to mind with alternatives to making her work and able to be approved.

Ok so the question of what does the mother do in her history still isn't answered. This is something that happened while she was still a baby, so it should be set up as to what she left Kartane to do and how that worked out.

Also, in earlier history, if Kartane's home life was so bad especially after his mother died, why didn't he just leave like he had to visit Tavinia? And if he was so in love with her, why didn't he go to find her to try to get answers?

I feel as though her placidity and her temperament are too paradoxical to really sell me on what she's like. Can you explain a little more about how her temper effects her when the first line under "placid" is she has a peaceful soul? The more I read it the more it sounds like her major personality trait "placid" is more of a facade she keeps around others than her actual personality.

How does exploring the innards of creatures come to be? Is it only developed after she meets this Belrean teacher of hers?

If Talise stays mostly secluded in her little house, how does she come to the acquaintance of the Belrean? Why does she take an interest in him? Why does he take her as an apprentice? And what race is he? Belrea has a pretty set system for learning and employment, so generally speaking it doesn't make sense for him to be there to study religion and culture but be adept in medicine and surgery since those are two different sectors.

How does her fortune telling come to be and how did she figure out that this "worked"? How does this intertwine with her religious views and her scientific approach to bodies? Does she only do it sometimes for fun, or is it something she really truly believes in and lives by?

There's almost infinite things you could do with the mother's history in general so we can't decide it for you, except with saying that she can't be associated with the inner sanctum.

So far we have heard a lot of different options:

- "I just was looking for a way to get her out of the storyline and make her "saintly and innocent"
- "Honestly, I'm okay with making her some harlot - "fallen from grace", that comes crawling back to the family she left behind because she can't stand looking at herself in the mirror one morning"
- "Would It be out of line for her parents to hope for her to serve in the outer sanctum in whatever way? She decides the life is too mundane for her and she leaves."
- "she could still be attempting to make a life for herself in the outer sanctum and doesn't want a youngling to skew their view of her OR she couldn't make a life for herself in the outer sanctum, when she refused to out right kill the child, her parents left her"

If these were things not allowed we would have mentioned that as you brought it up, you just haven't given us a concrete decision on how her leaving played out with the family (which is basically what we're looking for, just what actually happened). It would be fine for her parents to want her to be a part of the outer sanctum, it would be fine for it to not work out for her for one reason or the other, or for it to work too well for her and she won't keep the baby. And if she is a part of the outer sanctum, what does she do? Does she just clean there, cook there, etc. Or it doesn't even have to do with the Sanctum. She could have left the town in order to apprentice under a seamstress or something. There's really too many options out there, we just need you to pick the one you're going with.

As for the father and her relationship with him: "To his daughter, he is the fun, loving, playful father any child could dream of" but in her personality: "Talise tries to remain calm because she has seen her father and what happens when he is upset; she doesn’t want to do that." How does she consolidate these two things? He's fun, loving, and playful, but she's seen when her father is upset, so does this alter her idea of him at all? (or is this something from her older version that was skipped over?)

----------------(everything below here is just things to consider when playing her as she progresses, and not something that requires answering in the quest, just consideration)----------------------------------

As for her Belrean mentor, I feel as if it would make sense if he was a Geian, since they are in control of the the Sector of Safety (Weapons, Health, Justice) so he would be able to be a doctor. Also things to note when you are working on this part of her as a character (we don't want to linger on future stages but we don't want to ignore potential plot holes either) why would someone listen to an outcast's daughter "everyone thinks is disturbed" to give an outsider a job? Does she become a more respected part of the village/society before meeting him? Is her name slowly disassociated to that of her father's? Basically why would her word make others trust him enough to work for them since they're so superstitious and skittish as a people?

I wanted to get that first part out, then went back and read this and you bring up some good points so I'll comment~

I imagine he wouldn't know too much about her backstory, and if the Yaeli are as skittish around outsiders I can imagine that if anyone will help him... he'd take them up on it. As for how she gets him a job. Her father worked with the Mortician, and he would know her, her family and her history; Once she proved that the Geian was knowledgeable and willing to help he would eventually come around to the idea of having an outsider help out... Especially if he was short-handed.

Also, the negativity surrounding her in her earlier stages would be from her father. Around her prentice stage, when he leaves, she would just become "that poor abandoned girl" that everyone pitied but no one really did anything to help her because she was still taboo. Once she takes up an apprenticeship with the Geian doctor is when she will get into more of the "What's wrong with her? she must be disturbed..." preception.

D: Does that work?

She wouldn't really know any better as a child. To her, He is the father of her dreams, because she loves him and he provides for her. Problems won't start occurring until her later stages when she gains friends and acquaintances, her father's usual behavior toward them will be viewed as not normal; that his reactions are too extreme. Ultimately, it will be this factor that determines whether he lives or dies (she will assume being a part of the assassins guild will have done irreparable damage to his mental state and consider it a mercy that she put him out of his misery; considering she believes that is the only lifestyle he would be able to lead. OR because he loves her he will try to tame his behaviors... and become that suspiciously grumpy father who interrogates every person that walks through the door. This is where Tavinia would be key~ it would help curve his protective behaviors off of Talise and onto her... thus freeing Talise to live her life.).

A snippet on Tavinia has been added to the family section of Talise's profile.

And she's finally good to go then! :]

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