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 Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:23 pm
"I am a Jedi Master," Mark raised his robe sleeves as to make a point, "you can ask me to take you on as a padawan."
He didn't actually give Sherry any other job class options and just went to the next question. "Okay, do you have any of these problems such as high blood pressure, pregnancy, heart disease, or motion sickness?"
He paused. "Any history of mental illnesses we should also know of?"
As Mark was saying this he was ticking off three questions that Sherry could obviously see that asked if Sherry was open to relationships, if she had a decent income, and if she was into ERP all with 'yes'.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:37 pm
Sherry just stared at him. "Oh." This was all going very quickly. "No health issues, no mental issues." She was trying her best to keep up here. "What's ERP? And does this mean I'm going to be your padawan? What do I need to do?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:50 pm
Mark rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "Well, how do you look in a bikini, specifically I'm thinking like a gold bikini."
He paused. "Purely for LARPING purposes of course."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:59 pm
"Um," Sherry wasn't quite expecting that question. She might have turned a bit pink. "Honestly, pretty decent I think, if you don't count the scars. Do you usually LARP in swimwear though?" She sighed. "Are you serious about this. Because I am."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:05 pm
"You could probably remove the scars if you wanted to," the acting Death lead ticked off two more checkboxes and then stared dead on at Sherry.
"Bro. If I wasn't dead serious about this I wouldn't run you through the whole application form okay. Only the elite few get selected. The elite few." Despite saying that Mark skipped over to the second page. "Okay, create a LARP profile for yourself starting with your character, their personality traits, and weaknesses go."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:16 pm
"They have been fading," Sherry mumbled. Serious Mark dragged out of her mental musings. "Oh, ok." She took a deep breath. "Um. Wait am I still playing a boy? I'm confused about the bikini thing."
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:22 am
"Um, yeah, but you can still be a sexy boy."
Sometimes, Mark just didn't.
He decided Sherry wasn't going to make the best LARP profile so he started making one up for her. It was beginning to sound an awful lot like the back story of Bilbo Baggins with coincidentally Sherry's LARP last name also ending in Baggins. "So, how uh, do you like Lord of the Rings."
He made sure to say the last part super obviously.
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:51 am
"I suppose I can be a sexy boy." Sherry took it as a compliment. Besides, there was no reason boys couldn't wear bikinis. She was doing the lean-in to read thing again. Oh, yes. There was a theme there. Sherry didn't miss that. "I like it well enough. It's a good trilogy, movie form or book form." She paused for a few moments. "I get the warnings, Mark. I do. But..." She sighed. "It's not done anything, if that's what you're worried about."
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 6:32 pm
"What do you think about Hobbit feet prosthetics?" Mark said at the same time Sherry finished her sentence.
He blinked.
"Err, I mean, yeah that's uh, cool, why would I talk about the evil dangerous ring or anything that is clearly evil and dangerous I mean it's not like I care much or anything it's just a really evil and dangerous ring." He paused and then pretended to look at the clipboard. "So like, on a scale of one to ten, how like, evil are you feeling right now?"
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 6:49 pm
Sherry didn't answer his question about the Hobbit feet, but if he ever asked again the answer was going to be 'no'. She'd seen the all the special footage about how miserable those could be. No thanks. Instead she put on her very best dead-pan face. "Oh, super evil. Can't wait to skin everyone alive." She sighed. "Not any more evil than I feel every day, even before Steve came into my life? So like, a two? I mean, really that's probably just Armagnac constantly telling me to beat people up."
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 10:50 pm
Mark actually tensed up and looked up about ready to abort mission because he thought Sherry was being serious. When she finally elaborated herself, he tensed up even more.
"So," he finally said, mulling the words over entirely unsure of how he just managed to dodge one of the biggest bullets ever, "you were evil before the ring and it just gave you more power?"
Was everyone from Life division evil? (or just crazy).
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:55 pm
"What?" Ok, Mark was looking decidedly less comfortable than he had been before. Maybe she shouldn't have made the skinning joke. Was that too far? She forced out a laugh. "No, no. I was never evil. I'm not evil. The ring just gave me power to gain truth." She swallowed, trying to think of the right words. "I was joking. You don't actually think I'm evil, do you?" It was a very important question.
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 4:24 pm
"Only evil people would ask if they were evil!" shouted Mark, wondering if it was too late to maybe ask for those DVDs back. The crazy evil laugh wasn't helping. "Look here, I'll have you know I'm a black belt in karate and I've been trained by the seven warriors of the far east and the Jedi arts."
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 5:26 pm
Sherry flinched and drew back, caught off guard by the shouting. He did think she was evil, and a threat too. Just great. "I'm sorry. It was a joke. I'm not evil, I'm-" She paused, realizing that he might have a point. What if she just didn't know it? Had the ring corrupted her? No, she was sure it hadn't. She'd thought about that for a very, very long time over the past few days. But now here she was, with Mark thinking she was an evil threat- and Sherry realized she wanted to cry. He was afraid of her, and that hurt. "You don't need your karate. I won't try to hurt you. I can't... " She sighed. "It was a joke in bad taste. I'm not evil, I don't want to be evil, I don't want you to think I'm evil. Can I prove that I'm not evil?"
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:04 pm
"Are you sure?" Mark looked confused, and then a little dejected, "Cuz like, I went on youtube and there was a guy teaching these kickass ju-jitsu moves and Dwight is still sick and I really wanted to show them off."
Ju-jitsu was definitely not karate.
The acting Death lead sighed deeply and put down the clipboard entirely. "Look, can I still show off my moves, I promise I wont judge your evilness, I mean if you want to be technical I do work for the Empire but it's more like a spy situation, you know?"
He briefly wondered if anyone would ever actually come to explode the Death star.
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