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 Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 5:10 pm
He hated - hated the look he could see on Michael's face; a mixture of pain and disappointment (in himself?) and sadness and confusion and - a lot of other things that were twisting around like a whirlpool through him. Caspian smoothed thumbs along his prickly jawline, felt the rough stubble against the pads of his fingers.
You deserve me. I deserve you.
Believe me.
Caspian's breath shuddered out of him in a hiccuping, ragged sound as Michael's forehead bent to his own. They were still the same height like this; it made it easier for him to sway forward as Michael's hands clutched at his sides, digging into the borrowed coat, Caspian's hands sliding around to the back of Michael's neck and holding on as though clasping a lifeline. He closed his eyes, feeling the shudders, the tremors, running through both of them, and then shifted, just enough, to be able to press his lips to Michael's forehead in a tender kiss.
"I love you," he said, his voice trembling slightly, Caspian speaking against Michael's skin. "I love you. I'm gonna be with you always. You're never gonna be without me."
Caspian leaned down again, forehead to forehead once more, his heart in his throat. It felt like it was going to burst out, as though all of the emotions that he'd thought were going to drag him down were now only going to elevate him higher, until he was skyborne.
Very delicately, a kiss was pressed to each of Michael's eyes, just beneath them, brushing away the dampness before, once more, Caspian let his forehead rest against Michael's.
"I love you," he said forcefully.
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Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 5:36 pm
The kiss to his forehead was so gentle and full of care and love that Michael thought he was going to melt under it, his legs already feeling weak and not just from the pain from his injuries. Caspian’s hands were achingly tender as he brushed his fingers along his jaw and behind his neck.
He could feel the words, resonating through him, as if each time Caspian said it he was healing little by little. Caspian’s voice calmed him. Which was good, of course; however, the more he was able to relax, the more he was relinquishing control, the less he was able to keep the tears at bay. Especially when Caspian leaned down to kiss his eyes, brushing the tears away, their foreheads resting against each others once more.
”T-this is stupid - I don’t know - why I’m ******** c-crying,” he mumbled through some hiccuped sobs, trying to get himself to settle down. This was stupid. So stupid. At least it was what he told himself and what he said out loud, but he knew that it was years and years of pent up hatred for himself. Years of keeping himself from trying to feel anything. Years of hating who he was and yet still trying to do something, even if he didn’t think it would be good enough for anyone, let alone himself.
But this was also different in that it had reached the point where Michael didn’t even feel upset any longer, but cried out of relief and, dare he say it, happiness. Even after the things he’d said and done just earlier that evening, after the months they’d spent together carefully building their relationship, even the night Michael asked Caspian to marry him, nothing felt more true and real and right like that moment.
“I love you, Caspian. I really - really ******** love you,” Michael said, and then drew back so he could take in a deep breath, lifting one of his hands to scrub at his eyes. He let out an incredulous laugh, unable to stop the smile from forming on his lips as he blinked blearily at his fiance. “I’ll be with you always, Cas. And you’ll be with me. And w-we’ll be together forever - <********> these tears, I don’t know what’s w-wrong with me…” he groaned, and laughed, and tried to hide his face behind his hand again, because he was so damn happy to be with this man that it hurt. And it was stupid. And wonderful. And he wasn't used to feeling like this, but even though the tears made him feel pathetic, he liked feeling happy and loved and wanted.
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Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:13 pm
He could feel, little by little, piece by piece, the terrible, brittle, painful tension between them beginning to soften, break away, slowly ebbing apart from their hearts and their minds so that the clarity was starting to dawn beneath. It was not an easy process; the pinpricks of hurt that stemmed from earlier still stung, not quite so fast removed. But at least they were at the start to heal, and that made all the difference.
"I don't care," Caspian said thickly, his own eyes over bright. He kissed Michael's eyes again, gently brushing the wetness away with his lips, soft and gentle and yet his hands shook, belaying his nerves and his anxiousness. "Crying doesn't make you weak, y'know."
I love you, Caspian.
He thought he could have heard it a thousand times and it still would not have been enough. Ten years from now, Caspian hoped - knew - that his stomach would still flutter at the sound, that his heart would still beat a little faster at the knowledge that Michael Gallo loved him.
A half-choked laugh, half sob, escaped Caspian, a small, strangled hiccuping noise. He reached out and tugged Michael's wrist away from his face again, clasping his jaw between his hands as he looked at him - at his fiance, his favorite person, his sole joy in life.
"Good," he whispered hoarsely. "Good."
His shaking fingers pressed into Michael's jaw, slid back to his neck once more, and Caspian nuzzled his face against Michael's, breathing shallow, his heart aching.
"Now if you don't ******** kiss me, I dunno what I'll do."
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Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:11 pm
How Caspian was so perfect with him, for him, Michael had no idea. He didn’t know how Caspian, over anyone and everyone else, knew exactly what he needed, when he needed it. And knew how to treat him with such care and understanding that Michael wondered if maybe Caspian could read his mind. Or maybe he was really just that easy to read. Easy for Caspian, at least.
He could feel the trembling of Caspian’s hands as they pulled his hand away and touched his face again, sliding back to his neck. He could hear the shallow breathing and see the blotchy redness on Caspian’s face from crying just earlier. His heart ached, but he felt strangely elated, like a weight was being lifted of his shoulders, replaced with the warmth and love Caspian had been trying to give him for so long.
“Yes, your majesty,” he teased with a soft laugh as he leaned closer to gently press his lips against Caspian’s at his request. It was light at first, Michael wanting to take a few moments to really just feel Caspian, to breathe him in and hold him close. He pulled back just enough to break the kiss, and then leaned in again, kissing him softly once more. And then again, repeating the process slowly, trying to let Caspian feel every emotion that was going through him.
Michael shifted his hands, sliding them under the open jacket and up Caspian’s sides and around his back, taking a step closer so he could hold him and not have to worry about pulling him off the box he was standing on to reach his height. The time he took to kiss him meant that he was able to calm himself down, the tears stopping although he still sniffled and hiccupped now and then.
He let his last kiss linger, parting his lips to taste him, and then once he was satisfied, he pulled back to look at Caspian’s face, his hand pulling away from where he held onto Caspian under the jacket he’d let him borrow, reaching up to gently touch the cut on Caspian’s cheek. He knew his shoulder had been injured, too.
“I love you, Cas… I’m sorry for treating you like I did…” he said, his voice sounding guilty as he leaned close to press a kiss over his cut cheek. “I know you know what you’re doing. I’ll do better to remember that. I promise.”
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 12:19 pm
He swayed into Michael instinctively, breath shuddering out of him as Michael leaned forward, lips brushing over Caspian's. It was such an achingly sweet, tender thing, this kiss; almost tentative, just the warm press of lips together before Michael drew back, breath fluttering over his jaw. Another kiss, just as soft, just as warm, Caspian's heart thudding painfully hard against his chest, a gesture of infinite care and utmost love.
Hands sliding under his jacket, around to clutch at his back, and then Michael was pressed against him, and Caspian's arms were bent against his broad chest, fingers fisting in the front of Michael's shirt. Caspian sank into it, let himself be submerged completely in nothing but the feel of this, the taste of this, of Michael, of his familiarity and his presence and his warmth and his strength and every little thing that made up Michael John Gallo.
He was breathless as Michael pulled back, breathing a little unsteady, Caspian's eyes half-lidded. He licked his lips, instinctively trying to chase the taste, and tried to regain some of his bearings, automatically tilting his head into the tender stroke of Michael's fingers against his cheek. Lips followed the touch, a sweet thing.
"I'm sorry too," said Caspian quietly, voice rough. He twisted a hand up, covering Michael's, pressing it more securely to his face and ignoring the small sting of pain from his cut. "We're better together. I'm better with you. And I love you. I love you."
He couldn't stop the words from slipping out, Caspian's lashes damp, and his voice trembled a little.
"I love you."
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 12:54 pm
The words from Caspian kept easing into him, soothing him, filling him with hope and love and making him feel like he was worth something, like their being together made everything worth whatever it was they had to go through, what they’d already gone though.
“You’re freezing,” Michael mumbled, in concern as he kept his hand against Caspian’s cheek. And he was pretty damn cold too. Even with Caspian having his jacket, he had serious concerns about them being able to survive a night in the freezing cold, even if they had each other to keep warm.
And then it came to him; something he hadn’t thought of actually doing in a long time. Not since he was unable to find anything the last time he went to try and help his brother.
“Don’t power up,” he said quietly as he gently pulled away from Caspian and his touch, closing his eyes as he took on the garb of Sessrumnir once more. The magic had already fixed the tears and scrapes to his uniform, the cape reattached around his shoulders.
“It’ll be warmer on Jupiter,” he explained, at least hoping that would be the case. He stepped in close once more and wrapped his arms around Caspian to make sure he was brought with him.
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