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 Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:53 am
It was relieving to hear Aurelius stand by Celsus so strongly. The words that the elder Knight spoke were meant to be reassuring and she hoped that her friend would finally listen to them coming from someone who knew this side of him so well. The way they were talking about the Code, though-- That was something she hadn't heard before. It was personified by their words, not a rite or rules that they followed by something that spoke to them? It left her curious and wanting to ask questions, but she stored them for the moment. She could ask questions once Celsus had done what he had come here to do-- When she thought he would be more comfortable with answering them.
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:07 pm
Celsus had not seen or talked to the Code in months and was vehemently against seeing it again now - which was why he was letting Aurelius guide them to it, footsteps echoing in the grand hallway. He at least had Corvus with him, keeping him grounded, and Aurelius' familiarity and calm radiated outwards, soothing some of his battered soul.
His ancestor's gaze had flickered to Corvus.
"Tell me, my dear," said Aurelius. "While we walk, enlighten me. How did you come to meet Celsus here?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 11:34 am
Corvus looked to Celsus for a moment, wondering just how comfortable he would be with how much or how little she chose to tell his ancestor. Some of the details were personal; a moment of deep sadness and perceived weakness that she wouldn't expose unless he wanted her to. Although she had no judgement for him and the way he had been when they met, she did not know if spirit of the former Knight of Celsus would feel the same way. "We share a common patrol route-- One we had somehow managed to never cross before, somehow. I was alone and contemplative; lost in thoughts of what had been before, things I couldn't change. Like draws to like." A soft, sad smile touched the corners of her mouth. "He might call it random chance, but I would like to think that we were both where we needed to be in the park that night. He's been more of a help to me than he probably knows, even if he keeps trying to apologize."
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:44 am
Celsus caught the look Corvus gave him and offered a small smile in return; he knew what she was asking without her having to say it, and he did not mind the attempt at making things comfortable for him. He had an urge to squeeze her hand and refrained, glancing instead back at Aurelius.
"She was kind to me when I was lost," he said. "I thought everything I had known had gone and she was patient even when I walked away from her."
He winced a little at the memory, Celsus casting a slightly anxious look at Corvus. Aurelius said calmly, "Have no fears, my dear descendant, I'm sure that many have walked away from similar situations. It has no bearing on you, I'm sure, or on Corvus here - ah, here we are."
He pushed open a door, which made a heavy creaking noise, leading into a smaller room with clustered shelves of books. Celsus got to the entrance and found he was having difficulty taking another step forward, his heart suddenly in his throat, his chest tightening.
"I..." he started, and then stopped, flinching. "It's...it's in there..?"
Aurelius was regarding him quietly. "It is."
Corvus was given a weak smile from Celsus. "Sorry...it's...it's just - the last time I was here..."
Celsus trailed off, floundering.
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:58 pm
"You walked away because you weren't ready. to let anyone else in and I've never blamed you for that either, Celsus." Her smile was still soft, steady and reassuring, fingers giving his a squeeze even after he had resisted the urge to do the same. She let him talk when they paused, listing more to the words he wasn't saying, paying more attention to the way he was acting. "You aren't alone, Celsus. I'll go in with you, if you'd like. You don't ever have to face any of this alone... That's what friends are for. That's what I'm here for."
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:40 pm
He knew she didn't blame him for that, but it didn't mean that Celsus did not blame himself. It was hard to not blame himself for everything that had happened, especially when it came to the entirety of the last year of his life. He'd almost lost many of the people he cared about because of his actions; it was difficult to let that go.
Aurelius was watching him with a scrutinizing expression on his face.
"This is not the last time, we shall both be with you, in this case," he said mildly. "Corvus, my dear, we shall attend to our friend here, and everything will be as it should be, right?"
He flashed both of them a smile, and Fritz eased out a breath. "I - yes. Well. I suppose. Yes. That's right."
He was trying not to think about the last time. About the Code's mocking voice, about the complete and utter despair that had followed, tangling in his emotions, threatening to choke him from the inside out. He wanted to run, even now, but Aurelius was on one side and Corvus was on the other and Celsus could not run - not when he needed to keep going.
He took a step inside of the room, then another, his heart in his throat. There was an open journal sitting on a desk in front of them, a small, glowing orb of light that pulsed from the pages. It looked exactly how Celsus had left it, and a wave of nausea threatened momentarily to overtake him as he came to a stop in front of it, pulse rapid.
"H - " It was hard to form words. Celsus tried again.
"You are the Code, are you not?"
There was a moment's silence, and then -
"Yes."
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:56 pm
Corvus stood just close enough to Celsus to reassure him of her presence while giving him enough space to do what he must in order to communicate with the Code. She had questions, of course, but all of them could wait until another time-- When things were sorted and it made more sense to ask them. Her own heart was pounding as they entered the room. Nerves? Possibly, but were they hers as well or was she just picking up on his? It was hard to tell even as she tried to separate it, focusing herself on being ready to do whatever Celsus might need of her... Even if it meant fighting verbally with a glowing orb of light if it dared insult the integrity and worth she knew he had again.
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:46 pm
He hated the sound of that voice - if it was truly even a voice at all. Celsus felt his nerves standing on end, felt the chatter of his pulse in his veins as though his heart was attempting to beat out of his chest. He couldn't even bring himself to drag his gaze away from it, but he felt both Aurelius and Corvus' presences on either side of him, supporting him.
It was enough to make him feel like he could breathe again, just a little.
Celsus cleared his throat.
"You - months ago," he began, trying to keep his voice level. "You told me that I was - that choosing me as the Knight of Celsus was a - a mistake. That it was never meant to be me. That I was..." He had to force the word out through the painful tightening of his throat. "That I was inadequate."
His hands had curled against his palms, tight enough that his fingers were digging crescents into his skin.
"Do you still think that?"
The glow of the Code bobbed a little, flickered, as though it was thinking. Then -
I do not.
Celsus sucked in a breath so fast it was painful, then let it out just as raggedly. "Truly?" he said, and hated how feeble and weak it sounded.
Truly. You are not. You are who you are meant to be.
Celsus dragged his gaze to Aurelius, who smiled.
"I have always thought so," he said mildly. "It was you who did not."
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:57 pm
Corvus had intended to be a silent observer; to let Celsus communicate with the Code without any sort of interference from her. Her decision not to butt in changed when her eyes drifted away from the bobbing ball of light and down to the knight's hands. She could recognize that struggle for control; the tightly squeezed hands, knuckles going white. She stepped closer to the Knight of Chronos, reaching a gloved hand out to lightly brush fingers against her friend's wrist before gently taking hold of his hand. The sound of his voice reminded her of the night they met;the night she had decided that she was determined to help save him from whatever demons were chasing him, even if it meant just being there when he needed someone. A part of her wanted to continue defending him, to pull him away from the orb of light before it could do anything else; to hold on to him and keep him safe. It didn't seem as though she needed to this time, however. The Code and Aurelius both confirmed what she had been certain of as well. "You're a good man, Celsus-- A good friend and a good knight."
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Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 8:48 pm
A part of him felt foolish. Another part of him felt as though the air in his lungs was finally starting to fill, as though he was able to breathe for the first time in months. It was a strange, strained feeling; he struggled to maintain his sense of self in front of Aurelius and Corvus.
Celsus jumped a little as he felt gentle fingers touch his wrist, if only because she had startled him; but then her hand was wrapped carefully around his own, and he sucked in a sharp breath, ignoring the instinctive discomfort and focusing on nothing but the soft support Corvus was offering.
Absurdly, his eyes felt hot; he blinked rapidly, Celsus trying not to let them get further than that. The Code was still there, a little glow of light, and it seemed slightly less significant than it had before - somehow less of an intimidation. Not entirely, but just enough that it loosened some of the tension in his shoulders.
Celsus let his eyes fall shut.
"Thank you."
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