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 Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 9:34 pm
"It sounds like something that would be fun to go to, dressing up and everything... it sounds great." Aubrey responded with a grin. "I can understand the need to escape and back into another century is just as good as art or martial arts."
She paused to think about his words and then shrugged.
"It's not a big thing here, I've only found one dojo that practices Aikido here, its a lesser known martial art form and not one that most people choose, but it suits me, and I'd like to say I'm good at it." she sighed. "I would hope I would be after over 10 years of practicing it."
"I've dabbled in other martial arts, and even boxing at one point, but I still go back to Aikido."
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:06 pm
Samir nodded thoughtfully; he might have liked the swordsmanship for the crafting, but even he liked the idea of slipping away into another world. One where fantasy and adventure still reigned. Something like what the Negaverse was offering him, now.
Dressing up and all, only it wasn't a fantasy.
He didn't know quite what it meant, but he was learning, and he was trying to enjoy it.
Except, every time he thought about the Negaverse, he thought about Fortuna.
Right now, he was thinking about her Aikido. But he was certain it must have been a coincidence that they practiced the same. Or, perhaps Aikido just attracted strong women.
"Well, at the end of the day, there's no safer place to be than somewhere that makes us feel good about ourselves, right? There are far worse things to practice."
He glanced around the room again, piecing together little bits of her life. He hadn't seen any pictures though, so he couldn't help but be curious. "May I pry? ...You seem like you're close to your brother. Does he live around here, or...?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:17 pm
"I guess that's true, and when you are confident in your ability to protect yourself, you feel safe and confident anywhere you are. And it helps to do something you love" She said with a small smile.
The smile was fleeting however when her brother was mentioned her smile fell and darkness filled her eyes briefly.
"No... he doesn't live around here... He died in a car accident a few years ago...and it was my fault." her breath caught in her throat and she stood up abruptly and crossed to the kitchen sink.
Her chest felt like it was imploding and her head was spinning and light headed as her vision began to go dark and she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. She gripped the edge of the sink for a moment before turning on the cold water and plunged her wrists under the running water until her head began to clear.
It had been a long time since she had a panic attack, and would have rather anything else than to have Samir witness it. When she finally spoke her voice was strained as if she had been silently screaming for hours.
"I'm sorry Sam... I just... I haven't talked about him a lot lately."
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:36 pm
Samir could immediately tell that he'd drifted into sore territory; the moment darkness slipped into his eyes, a coldness descended into his blood. He hadn't known what to do when she slipped into her fit, but he didn't stray from her side.
"No, it's fine," he insisted. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories. I understand entirely--do you want me to get you a glass of water? Sit down, let me do something to help."
He didn't seem to really know what to do, but he knew he wanted to--partially because it was his fault, and partially because just cared about her.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:47 pm
Aubrey breathed deeply for a few moments and just let the sensation of the water running over her wrists calm her until she finally reached out and turned off the faucet. She turned to look at Samir and was surprised to see him by her side and how concerned he was for her. It was touching and made warmth spread through her, chasing out the darkness.
Unable to stop herself she wrapped her arms around him and hid her face in his chest, not wanting to see his reaction but not wanting to lose this contact.
"I didn't expect to get a panic attack and I'm sorry for concerning you, I just haven't talked about my brother for a while and I guess there are things still unresolved there. My father blamed me for my brothers death, and most days I agree with him, but it had been 3 years where I didn't have that constantly held over my head, the guilt and shame had almost gone away, but it just faded, forgotten, but not healed."
Her arms tightened around him briefly before she reluctantly let him go, she had just taken the comfort she needed without permission she stepped away from him and ran her fingers through her hair trying to brush off the torrent of emotions.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:20 pm
Though the sensation was a surprise, it was not unwelcome. Samir didn't know what to do for a moment, but he cautiously wrapped his arms around her after a few seconds. He didn't want to make her feel trapped, so he get the grip loose and made sure she knew she'd have an escape path if she needed one.
When she pulled away, he let his arms fall limply to his sides.
"It's fine," he assured. "You can't control your emotions. Especially something like that. Loss does things to a person." He didn't know much about the situation,but he knew one thing. "You can't blame yourself. Things happen. Sometimes, there's no telling why. But I can't think that it was just any one reason. Not anyone's fault. Your father was wrong to blame you."
He didn't know the circumstances, and he knew he couldn't pry. He just wasn't willing to. It was too personal, and he'd seen what even scraping the topic could do. He didn't want to make it worse.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:30 pm
Aubrey let out a shuddering breath and then looked up at him. "My brother wouldn't have been out at all that night if I hadn't called him to pick me up from a party that I snuck out to." she sighed and rubbed her eyes.
"He still would have been alive today, things would have been different." she told him softly her voice catching again. "But its in the past, and I guess I can't say for certain that I killed my brother, but I also can't say that I didn't. He was the closest person to me, my rock and support... Everything burned when he died." Taking a deep breath she released it in a gush of air.
"Anyway, we should stop talking about this maybe... do you have any siblings?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:29 am
Once more, Samir wanted to stress that she couldn't have been at fault, not in the way she was blaming herself. He gave her a quick pat on the shoulder and one last, "It an an unfortunate circumstance, but you cannot blame yourself. It could have been any freak accident. I am sorry it was one that you feel you had some impact on."
He did not dwell for long though, instead answering, "I have many siblings. Though, I am the youngest, so," he winked. "I have been spoiled and pampered my whole life. And bullied, by cruel, jealous older siblings."
He laughed though, trying to lighten the mood. "We get along well enough. Most of them live very far away though, so we don't get to see each other often. But I come from a large family, so I wind up seeing at least a cousin or two every month, month and a half."
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 9:58 am
Her chest was still tight but she felt that she could slowly start to breathe again. She tried to smile when he pat her shoulder and focused on his words to bring herself out of her dark thoughts.
"That must be nice... both of my parents were the only child so we don't have a big family, I don't think I've ever met any extended family." Aubrey responded with a slight shrug. She stood up from the chair, needing to do something and keep moving.
"Would you like some hot chocolate? I'm going to make some." She offered as she moved back to her kitchen and pulled out a sauce pan. Sure she had the powdered stuff, but the motions of making it from scratch helped center her, plus she was sure her sisters would appreciate it.
She grabbed some heavy cream and milk from the fridge alone with a brick of baking chocolate. As she moved about the kitchen the familiar motions helped calm her further as she melted the chocolate and slowly added the cream and milk along with a vanilla bean. Once her mind was finally settled she felt that she was well enough to resume normal conversation.
"So did you always know you were going to work at the junk yard and be a mechanic who makes swords on the side?" Aubrey questioned lightly, still focused on her task.
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 3:58 pm
"You can borrow some of mine," Samir offered. "I have too many, they're hard to keep up with. "
He looked after her and though he didn't want to impose, he immediately nodded when she offered hot chocolate. "I would love some," he added, though was more interested in giving her something to distract herself than he was actually drinking some--even though it was the perfect weather.
While she was working, he shifted positions to make himself more comfortable. "I knew, for long enough. I spent a lot of time there as a child. I was my uncle's favorite, if only because I always enjoyed watching him work. So he started teaching me things, I picked them up," he shrugged. "I knew I wanted to work here, so I suppose I knew for a while. Plus, every dog I ever owned loved it. So much freedom! I enjoy being able to manage myself and my own schedule. A desk job would have been terrible for me. What about you, what is your dream job?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 8:05 pm
Aubrey laughed and shook her head. "I think I have my hands full with my siblings, but I appreciate the offer?" she responded keeping her focus on her task. She really enjoyed listening to him talk and was slightly caught off guard when the topic returned to her.
"Well, I have a bachelors degree in mathematics and I always thought I would do something in that, but turns out there aren't a lot of jobs out there for mathematics majors." Aubrey responded with a slight shrug as she finished stirring the chocolate pot and poured some into two cups and brought them over to the table.
As she sat down she slid the other cup to Samir and then took a sip from her own with a small hum of contentment. "But I guess I always dreamed of being an engineer."
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Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 7:55 pm
"Really!" Samir seemed surprised. "Mathematics, that is impressive! Engineering would be a great career. Good pay, good work, good market. "
He picked up the cup of hot chocolate and took a sip quickly, savoring its flavor.
"Mm," he swallowed, smiling at her. "This is delicious."
He waited for just a second and then took a seat across from her. "Engineering is very ambitious. Very admirable. I humored the idea of going to college, but...if I went, it wouldn't do me much good. I don't need a degree, my business looks to be profitable and worthwhile for the rest of my life. College is too expensive to attend as a luxury. You should work towards your engineering goal. Certainly they have grants? DCU just opened a lot more funding, I heard. You could probably even do some online or night classes, to work around your schedule. If you wanted, I mean."
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2016 5:38 am
"Math was always something that came naturally to me, but by itself it is not much for career opportunities." She shrugged slightly and tilted her head to watch Samir drink his hot chocolate with a tiny pleased smile and a nod of her head.
"I'm not sure if I can afford to go back to school at this point, My grandmother was the one who funded what my scholarships did not, but now that she's gone I have to think about my sister's futures as well." Aubrey ran her fingers through her hair as she watched him.
"It must be nice having a career taken care of for you, especially if it's something you enjoy doing." her tone was slightly envious, but she was also happy for him, it was nice to see someone's life going well, even if hers was in constant shambles.
She paused for a moment considering then nodded. "I'm sure it couldn't hurt to apply for grants and scholarships again and see what comes of it."
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2016 10:13 pm
"That's the spirit," Samir said, broad smile still in place. "DCU has gotten quite a bit of funding--and to be entirely honest, I think the city is in quite a need of engineers. Theoretically there should be quite a few sponsors, even, if you aren't able to get a grant or scholarship."
He shrugged. "I've known a good handful of people that come to school to get their degree and leave as soon as they can. DCU might be ranked one of the finer schools in the area, but no one really wants to live in Destiny City for long. All these terrorists, or gang wars, or whatever," he said, waving his hand nonchalantly. "The good--and bad--news is that things are always being destroyed, and built, so you're just about always guaranteed a job."
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2016 6:53 am
"I can see why people wouldn't want to linger, but I'm... invested in this city, I want to make it a better... safer place for my sisters to live." Aubrey mused quietly as she watched Samir from across the table. She opened her mouth to ask another question when the front door popped open and Kerrigan and Bethany walked in.
"Hey sis, we're home... noticed your car is back." Kerrigan called from the hallway before she walked in further and saw the two sitting at the table with the cocoa mugs in front of them. She could see the look in her elder sisters eyes, the one she tried to hide from everyone, but Kerrigan knew what it meant, and also what the cocoa on the stove implied.
"I'm starving, lets eat!" Bethany exclaimed as she went directly for the cupboard to get the bowls for the stew.
"Hey girls, Samir dropped off the car and I asked him to stay for dinner, be nice." Aubrey told them curtly, they simply grinned and got the table set up and the stew ladled out.
"How are the puppies doing?" Bethany asked after they were all settled around the table with bowls of stew and glasses of water.
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