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 Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:29 am
"You haven't put it together?" Thorne asks him. His voice is a whiplash. Terrible and self-deprecating.
He laughs and turns away from Chris, pacing a savage line across the room.
"I am," he breathes, hisses, snarls, "Lord Alexander Thorne of the Court of the Sorrowful One, a noble, and you're - "
He looks up at Chris.
"You will die, and start again, and forget, because that is what we've done for nineteen cycles - forget."
He spreads his arms out at Chris, and suddenly he is powerful, overwhelming, his eyes dark and terrible, his mouth twisted and cruel.
"You'll find someone else, you'll find another person, because it can't be me," He says. "Because I am the one that gets to watch you die, because I have been unbound from the cycle, because a choice that was never mine to make."
Thorne drops his hands, snarls at Chris.
"Because you're allowed to start over, but I will have to watch you die again and again." He breathes sharply, animal. "Do you understand now? Are you happy now? You'll leave again. You don't have a choice."
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:36 am
It's like a slap across the face, Thorne's words.
He stands there and he stares, trying to process. The puzzle put together for him in one blow, shoved at him as a terrible truth, a punch to the gut. As a mockery, as an echo, a reminder of what Chris couldn't be.
Because for a moment, for a precious moment in time, he thought he was special. He thought he could change it all, that he was the protagonist here. Stupid. Stupid.
He had always known better. He shouldn't have ever let his hopes get up.
His face shutters, the fury dropping. For a moment his face is all hurt, pain displayed brightly, but then it is gone. Tightly locked away.
"You're right," He says, "You're right. You are Lord Alexander, a noble, and I am just Chris. I am nothing special, in this story. I am just a side character. I was stupid to think otherwise. I was stupid."
He crosses the room to the bedroom and he stands there. He looks at their shared lives and it's with calm that he picks up clothing. That he finds a bag of his that's empty, that he starts shoving things into it.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:46 am
Thorne stares at him, his face entirely unknowable, his expression dark, and when Chris speaks, he has a choice. And that choice is bundled inside of him like broken glass. Everything inside of him is breaking.
"Shut up," Thorne says, viciously. "That wasn't what I said."
He storms across the room and snatches Chris by the arm. He pulls them together, burning bright like a star going nova, and says, "You aren't listening to me. Do you think I have nothing better to do than break - " my heart, "you down by saying these things?" He glares at Chris, lost, struggling, the choice pulling him two ways, "You are not nothing - "
He lets go, abruptly, as though scalded by the touch. His eyes fall to Chris's actions, and he backs up, graceful and lupine, going colder, colder, colder. He feels like he is being torn apart by the glass.
"But if that is what you believe," he breathes, "Then you've never really listened to me at all."
He watches him from the bedroom door. If Chris is determined to leave, Thorne will force himself to see it through.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:55 am
"Do not TOUCH ME," He hisses, his fury rising up once more. He is hurt and he cannot handle Thorne near him, the galaxy that he is, that he has always been.
"Don't touch me or come near me or-" His voice breaks, cracks. He is not graceful in this and he shoves another pair of jeans in his bag. "You don't tell me anything, you leave me in the dark, you let me think a friend was still a friend when in fact it could've hurt me, you've left his HUSBAND in the dark and you still think you're in the right here?!"
He turns abruptly, his face caught in a snarl. "You have no RIGHT to lecture me when you stand there and you've ******** up so TREMENDOUSLY that you cannot find it in you to say ANYTHING except offer up excuse after excuse on why you couldn't tell me instead of being an adult and just DEALING WITH IT."
"You told me NOTHING before and I forgave you, I was angry but I forgave you but it turns out THAT WAS A LIE TOO! BECAUSE YOU'VE KNOWN THIS WHOLE TIME THAT YOU WERE OUT OF THE CYCLE. THAT YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE ME AND I WAS GOING TO DIE IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU JUST GAVE UP. YOU DIDN'T THINK TO LET ME KNOW."
Chris turns back to his bag, shoves a cardigan in there angrily. "I'm going and you aren't coming after me."
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 1:11 am
Thorne watches him, feels his breath catch and tear in his throat, but he doesn't try to interrupt. He does not know what to feel first, or what to feel at all. He stared at Chris, his expression sharp and wild and broken. He had thought that Melany had carved out his heart in its entirety. Had shown him what it meant to be alone, to be left.
But this was another brand of murder entirely.
And somehow, it hurt even worse.
There is nothing in him though, no words, no ammo, no decent reply. He has fed it all to a short lived flame and now only his hands know what to do, but there's no body to punch and there's no one who can break into this swelling tide inside of him, split him apart so it can spill over, spill out into something worse.
"You're right," Thorne says. He stares at Chris, his hands digging bloody crescents into the palms of his hands. He could fight more, he knows. The flame swirls inside of him, a haunting thing, too much like his father for him to want to touch.
He takes in a painful breath, because his body is burning for air, or something more than air, because it is incomprehensible, this pain, and surely in some cycle of life he must have felt it, but now he just wishes he could learn to forget again -
"You're right, I am the villain in this story, the monster, you're right," he says again. His voice is unknowable. "So leave, and find someone else in your story to show you what you are."
He turned his head. This warehouse had been built by both of them, and now he wanted to do nothing more than raze it to the ground.
"Leave," he said again, choking on the word.
It will only hurt worse for the both of you, Mare had told him once, if you keep him, only to know he sleeps on deaths door. You must not be afraid to be the villain. For him. Please think of it for him. We are all someone's monster.
So he wouldn't.
He would let him go.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 1:15 am
There is nothing in Chris, no more he can say. The part of him that wants to reach out to Thorne, to comfort him, is hidden behind a layer of anger. A layer of sadness, of hurt.
He is nothing and he was no one and he had been shown it. It was time to go.
He finishes his packing in silence, only barely scraping up 3 changes of clothing. Slips past Thorne and finds Bergamot, manages to get him to come without fight, finds his shoes. He doesn't know if he understands or not but all he knows is he wants his cat.
Once he has everything together, he is out the door.
He doesn't know if he'll come back.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 1:24 am
Thorne waits until he hears the door close behind Chris, until the warehouse is an empty maw, just the same as he found it, just the same as it would be, again and again through the cycles, each and every one. For a long time, he stands there, a statue, raw and unbound.
When his knees hit the floor, Thorne feels like he's choking, like he's in a spiral, falling down. Falling down. He bows his head beneath the weight of it, of everything, presses his palms to his eyes and bends further, until he is collapsed in on himself.
Quietly, helplessly, and alone, Thorne lets himself break. PeanutButterPies one last ******** you and we're done
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