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There was a moment when Jan missed Rodney's point completely when he spoke of types of marriages and he was left puzzled by what the other man could mean. It was testament on some level to just how distant he was from the idea that anything other than marriage between a man and a woman could exist.

When he finally caught on he said. "O...Oh." and then with some degree of shock - he'd thought Rodney seemed a bit affected but hadn't thought for a moment that it could be MORE - he went on. "You'd be interested in that sort of thing? If..if it was allowed?"

And it was Jans turn to self conciously cross his arms across his chest. "But..I think you are right I think it just would depend on who you ask. I think that sort of thing is beneath the greek gods. I mean..you've read what the greeks got up to right?" He looked away while he spoke, rendered uncomfortable not by homosexuality which was something he had indulged in with stealth and subterfuge but the idea of doing so openly or with something so proud and boastful as marriage.

Jan raised a brow. "So if you aren't gay, it hardly matters right? It's not exactly your problem. Maybe you are asexual?" And rather impressively he managed to resist the desire to cringe as he said this. "If you aren't attracted to people?"

He sighed. "I would love to have no sexual attraction at all." It was all frankly a bit of a burden and led to things getting out of hand which really didn't need to. "I'm not sure what you are saying, that you aren't gay, so you are not attracted to men but you would marry a man if you met the right person and it was all allowed to happen? Wouldn't that be a little tedious? Being married to someone you weren't attracted to?"

"Hah, who am I kidding, it was rather tedious I suppose." and he stared off into the middle distance.

Rodney got a very intent, very fascinated cool blue stare. "That is some frankly impressive willpower." He said, genuinely impressed that someone could be attracted to something and yet choose to take no action upon that inclination.

"It was fairly happy, people are generally simple to keep happy. She was happy, I did what I could to make sure that was the case, I listened, I did my duties in every respect."

He eyed the boarded up window distantly. "I had two marriages, both ended in their own time."

There was a fleeting thought of his father and his comments on his marriage to Maja, approving of the whole thing and of Maja herself, approving of the fact that his runt had somehow managed to secure the most beautiful wife of all the brothers. He found himself spurred slightly viciously to add.

"I am not so fortunate as to have the willpower to choose certain things. There have been incidents. Certain bathrooms can be a loveless temptation."

Jan was normally very relaxed and smiled often, giving a distinct impression that it would take a great deal to truly irritate him, but as he sat there it was as if something subtle changed, some shift in that soft front, something colder flashing a fin. He was irritated by the revealing of his own weakness and decided almost immediately it was a mistake. It was outside of the bounds of this self. Jan was not weak or prone to lapses of this nature, Jan was straight. He was somewhere uncharted and he could only blame how tired he was for how he'd gotten there.

"Gay." he said with a curled disdain around the word.

"I knew someone who was gay when I was at school." he said. "In my music class. Everyone knew. Lost his front teeth." And he'd done nothing, simply learned how to step back further and how important it was to learn to be clever.

"I wouldn't say I am exclusively anything. I can sleep with women. I can sleep with men. The attraction seems peripheral and more often than not, quite rare. It is similar to how I could listen to any old music or look at any old art, but there aren't many things which move me."

He raised a brow at Rodney. "Someone would come along?" he repeated. "You mean no one ever...?"

"I think you did just fine today, and yes, not everyone can or should be fighters." He certainly wasn't a fighter.

He did just stare at the other man for his comment about never even dating. He had to be not far off his own age and yet...

It beggared belief. He had thought stories of people who had never had sex were exaggerated and romanticised. He couldn't imagine anyone resisting so long.

"..that is impressive." he said. "I think that I would die."

He shook his head. "No, no dating, not of late." And there was a slightly bitter smile that followed. "I feel like I'm getting a bit old for that."

Because you had to learn lessons in the end and what was the point when you could get what you needed minimally and without hassles?

He didn't explain why he felt he'd die without it all, letting it sit as a humourous exaggeration rather than something grimly prophetic and honest. "Besides, I am hardly in high demand any longer." He rolled onto his back, slender chest rising and falling as he looked off into the ceiling, he didn't take aging well, losing the certainty he was attractive bit by fragile bit and replacing it with control crafted of artificial means, starvation and vanity both.

"So no. At a certain point anonymity and casual encounters with people dissatisfied with their own marital choices becomes the primary option."

Jan shook his head. "No, I wouldn't say it was my preferred option. I'm a bit of a family man frankly. I have several children historically though I am not permitted to see any of them. I favour stability and normality." Because he could derive a sense of his own self and how it should be portrayed from such a relationship it was something highly desirable to him. 'So yes if someone came along who demonstrated similar inclinations and goals to myself that would be pleasant."

It was an unrealistic ideal however and even as he spoke he found that choking spike of irritation reappearing, angry at an aspiration he couldnt simply conjure up or steal from someone else.

"Besides its all somewhat ridiculous. Clearly I am not capable of maintaining a relationship of that nature given the high failure rate in the past. It might be better for everyone if I keep to casual sexual encounters of no consequence."