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"I never really subscribed to that submissive point of view." he said. "I mean, I don't need there to be someone out there "better" than me to strive towards. I am fine with everyone and everything being equal. It means that I'm on even footing and there's nothing to be afraid of." He finished up tying the knot and climbed back down from Rodney, rubbing his back reassuringly.

"I think if it matters is down to you and what you feel. You just need to make your own decisions on what is right or wrong. You are allowed to be happy when you are ready to be." He wasn't sure what to say about the feeling he'd lost everything that mattered. "And some of us just fill that void with other people."

"As for their aims, who even knows? Hundreds of thousands of people have died for far far less than a beautiful goddess." he shrugged. "Humans are essentially horrible but they don't have to be, the same might apply to gods.

"I didn't think that seeing a god was a prerequisite of serving them." If anything he had been under the impression that the very impossible nature of it was why people belived quite so fervently in spirits and the like. He shook his head.

"People don't make other people worse. If someone is a bad person they will always be one, even when you don't see it. It's the oldest trick in the book to make someone think the horror in you is their fault. Still, I think there is still a place in greek legend for the good and the virtuous. Also the chosen, which we are. Maybe your family will be there."

His would not be.

Deciding that it was an opportune moment he gave the other man a firm and bony hug. "It also matters to those people. It can make all the difference."

Lawrence held the other man firmly in his arms, gently stroking his hair.

"I don't know Rodney, and nor does anyone else for that matter. I don't think the ancient greeks knew everything. If there are gods we don't know everything about them, we don't have a perfect view of what comes after or in what ways people are sorted, all we have is information filtered through often imperfect humanity. There is no definitive book, there is no definitive anything."

He rested his own chin against Rodney and went on. "I think there is a justice in the world, an evenness that even in the midst of all the arbitrary suffering balances out afterwards. The universe yearns for balance. It is written into every law, every cell, every part of everything. Even science thinks that the true end of the universe will be when every component part of every star reaches a point of equal distance, a settled equilibrium. This cause, this whatever it is we are part of might be part of that same thing, pushing back against the bad in the world for a reason. I think that everyone gets their fair dues and that is still the case."

"I just don't know for certain. But I would take what we know about greek mythology with a pinch of salt until we encounter it ourselves."

"There's nothing to say they still aren't." Jan said softly, though deep down he didn't think mercy was due to any of them. Change though, change was a strength.

Gently he moved Rodney's hair a little out of his face and smiled. "There's nothing wrong with crying, it has to be hard to deal with and its' better out than in. Things will be all right though, I'm sure. Things have a way of working out. And at least whatever happens to us will happen to everyone who is part of this whole arrangement."

He nodded. "Thank you though, for sharing with me."

"I know what you mean, it's been a lot to take in. I still don't know how I feel about it." He didn't really know how he felt about anything.

"But yes, we'll be in the same place, and wherever that is, I'll look out for you." He nodded sternly, clearly meaning the statement despite being a very small bony figure who looked like he might blow away in a stiff breeze.

Jan nodded at this, it was after all the exact response that he wanted to hear. He needed someone to look out for him and Rodney was exactly the kind of person he needed, gentle or not. Gentle and loyal meant that whatever strength he was capable of would never be turned against him. "Thanks, I appreciate it." he said.

Heading over to the mattress he gave it a slightly disgusted look - after all hotel mattresses, who knew what had gone on on it - and reached out to help.

"I could do with a nap frankly." he said. "Normally I have a siesta."

"They didn't." he offered vaguely. "Probably a few days." He didn't sound too optimistic about this. "I hope they have spare rooms, I am not very pleased by the idea of being stuck here without a change of clothes and in the cold."

He shook his head. "It's hardly the life I want to be leading at my age."