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 Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:05 pm
Ethiriel couldn't tell what hurt most: Cesc's denials over Zurine and him or the fact that the two of them, Cesc and Zurine, were only friends and yet he was still turning her down. She swallowed hard, resulting in a large gasp of a sob as she covered her face entirely. The Sigel chastised herself; she shouldn't be a mess over this -- she had gone over it in her head so many times in preparation for being turned down, she needed to be strong for Cesc and let him know that she would be fine.
But it hurt so much.
However, as he turned the tables on her when describing his love life, Ethiriel couldn't help but let out a short scoff of a laugh, face still covered. It was hard to find any real amusement in the situation at hand, and her scoff could have easily been mistaken for another sob. There was a hesitation, but finally she shook her head slowly.
"I-it hurts... A-and I know I'm n-not being fair to you like this... I'm so sorry..."
Taking a few drawn out breaths, Ethiriel attempted to calm herself before continuing. "I'd never want to lose you as a friend, Rhede... I w-wouldn't dream of it." After a moment, she removed her face from her hands and unceremoniously wiped the tears away on her sleeve before reaching up for Cesc's face -- a touch he would be familiar with at this point.
"Just... do me one favor and smile..."
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:18 pm
A dull, helpless sort of glumness settled over Cesc as he watched her weep, her face covered, tears dropping from her chin. He felt the full weight of gravity on him, pulling and slowing his heart, his stomach. He was low, so low, so terrifically flawed and awful. What a talent he had for doing the wrong thing! For sticking his nonexistent ******** foot in his goddamn mouth every time.
Why don't you go kiss some more girls, Cesc? Hey, buddy, why don't you go hurt some more feelings, ruin some more friendships? Hey, hey, hey.
His stomach twisted and he swallowed over the pull to sink down, to ask forgiveness for something he couldn't fix, to do what he could do just make it stop, make her tears and sobs stop. Unmistakably, undeniably, it was his doing, and yet there was nothing he could do to undo it.
Why don't you just give her what she wants? Why don't you just try, you a*****e, why don't you just give it a shot?
"You're not going to lose me as a friend, Eth. Why would you?" he said, stuffing back his thoughts. She touched his face and it gave him a moment to see hers, puffy eyes and red nose and tear-stained cheeks, and he never felt less like smiling. Still, robotically, he ticked one side of his mouth up--he had to give her something she asked for, after all.
"We don't have to pretend like this is okay right now," he murmured, reaching up, wiping her face gently with his thumb. "It's okay that it's not, Eth... I'm not going to run away just because of that."
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:28 pm
Having no answer for his first question, Ethiriel merely kept her eyes trained forward, mindfully keeping her breathing and heartbeat in check. As soon as Cesc's lips twitched, her hands trailed from his cheeks, down his neck, shoulders, arms until they met his hands on her own face. They only lingered for a moment before they fell entirely, clasping at her bellybutton.
"You're right; I am a mess," she scoffed again, her lips tugging upward at the corners despite the lack of anything remotely funny in the present. "I... knew you weren't going to return my feelings -- at least, not in the way I would have hoped for. I should have been honest with you from the moment I began to harbor feelings... Put it to rest before it got out of hand.
"I've come to understand a lot from my growing... and this... this is just another step on the ladder. I don't blame you."
Again Ethiriel looked away, her color settling back to a more natural pink-tone against her bronze cheeks. Rather than waiting on Cesc to wipe away her tears once more, the Raevan brought up a hand and wiped them herself with the back of her wrist. "You're one of the best men I have ever met, Rhede. I know this meeting was meant to be positive, but... it was important that we cleared things. Even if you don't feel the same way, we've still got each other as friends."
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:57 pm
"I'll make you a deal," said Cesc, his voice a little rough. "Let's both just be better about talking about things, alright? Don't... sit around and torture yourself for months before you tell me about anything again. And you're right. It's always good to get things out into the open."
He touched her arm again, gently, his hand warm, his thumb smooth over the roundness of her shoulder. "...and anyway, weren't we talking about celebrating?"
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