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 Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 9:31 pm
"You can."
It wasn't said forcefully, or angrily. In fact, it was said in the same quiet voice that Caspian had used before; as though he was stating a simple fact rather than answering a question or a statement. Straightforward and calm, lacking in heat or irritation.
"You can, because - " Because you're good for me. You keep me moving forward and you support me and you take care of me, even if you keep telling yourself - and me - that you're not really that nice of a person. I know that you are, anyway.
He did not say that. Instead, Caspian merely gave the smallest shake of his head, and Michael did not need to explain everything. Even if Caspian didn't know all of the reasoning behind why he pushed everyone and everything away, he knew at least a small fraction of something.
" - because I don't want to see you lonely, either."
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 9:40 pm
For what seemed like a long time, Michael just held on and breathed, trying to calm himself after getting worked up over… what? What was he so worked up over, other than the fact that he was probably going to regret this. He’d already told himself before that there was no going back, but he was still desperately trying to pull away.
Or at least he had been.
Now, he wasn’t so sure. He knew he wanted to get out while the door was still partially open, but Caspian refused to let him. And it wasn’t even his stubbornness that was holding him there, but his patience, even after the previous night.
When Michael shook his head again, he let out a small, forced laugh. “This is stupid. We’re both adults,” he said, even as he still kept his head down while Caspian had his arms around his neck. “Right?” Despite the laugh, he was sure his voice still sounded miserable. He should not have anyone see him like this. Especially someone who was supposed to look up to him.
“Some mentor I am,” he groaned softly, and as he did, he slowly started releasing his grip around Caspian, although he couldn’t seem to bring himself to look him in the eye.
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 9:51 pm
His own laugh was less forced, quiet and a little rueful.
"I thought I was just a stupid kid," said Caspian, but he knew what Michael had meant. After a moment's silence, he said softly, "Just because we're adults - you're an adult - doesn't meant that you automatically don't get to feel things the way you used to."
He felt Michael's grip slackening and knew that he would have to unlatch his own arms. Caspian slowly loosened his grasp and eased back a little, one hand sliding down Michael's chest and curling loosely in the front of his shirt again. His other arm remained temporarily around Michael's neck, and in spite of the fact the fact that Michael wasn't looking at him, Caspian felt the smallest of smiles tug at his lips. It was absurd, but he couldn't help it.
He gave a shrug of his shoulders.
"What can I say?" said Caspian lightly. "I like my mentors stubborn and scowly all the time."
The hand on Michael's shirt loosened and fell away, but the arm around Michael's shoulder shifted, and Caspian let the tips of his fingers rest for a moment against his Michael's unshaven jaw; a gesture of reassurance and calming, even with his averted gaze.
And then both of his arms fell away, hands in his lap, as Caspian glanced outside.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 10:00 pm
Michael frowned when Caspian brought up being just a stupid kid. Yes, Michael had called him a kid when they’d first crossed paths, but he didn’t think he’d called him that since Caspian asked him not to. It wasn’t fair to him, since he was more of an adult than even Michael at times.
Other times, Caspian was absolutely not at all like an adult, but that was for another time.
He didn’t move or pull away when he felt a hand on his jaw, but it did calm him somewhat. Although he wished he could have the chance to shave. Still, after everything that happened, both the night before and previously, Caspian was still there.
“Yeah,” he agreed after a short while longer, reaching for the shoes he’d kicked off. Hopefully they didn’t get any kind of diseases from staying in that horrible place all night.
Shoes on, Michael stood and reached down to offer a hand to Caspian. It was a much different mood than the night before, and Michael felt guilty for it. He knew it probably still bothered Caspian, what he’d said to him, but maybe there would be other ways he could make it up to him.
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 10:05 pm
Caspian reached for his own shoes; he'd taken them off before falling asleep, and now he tugged them back on, taking his time in lacing them up because he was somewhat reluctant to leave. In spite of everything, he wondered whether Michael was still thinking he should find someone else to mentor him.
His eyes flickered up at the offered hand, and then up to Michael's face. The tension that had been there the night before - awful and cold and frustrating - seemed to have seeped away. Things were not exactly perfect - but they were better than they could have been, better than they would have been.
Caspian reached out his own hand and silently wrapped his fingers around Michael's, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.
Back to reality, he couldn't help but think, and stepped outside.
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