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 Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 4:25 pm
☾xx Class Choicexx ☽ Content - 1012 Words
︾ A sigh left her as she found a fallen tree to sit on. Rajani had been walking for a while now. It had been years since the war ended but she had never actually gotten up the courage to head back to her hometown. Or rather, she didn’t fully trust herself not to attack her brother. She had been betrayed by him when she was just a youngling. He had been her best friend, the person to whom she was the most close to, and he’d left her without even a thought. Pressing her lips together tightly she gave a small hum and pulled one of her legs up so that she could rest her foot on her knee.
Rubbing at her ankle the thin shifter tried to ease the pressure she felt there. Rajani had a habit of not resting when she should. Something she was both proud of when it was needed and hated when it made her exhausted. With her fingers working deftly on her ankle she gave a huff and leaned her head back so that she could look up at the sky. Of course it was mostly blocked by the thick canopy but there were some spots where she could see it peeking through. The soft blue that was visible through the deep greens was alluring. It almost made her want to climb the nearest tree and make an appearance into the open air above the forest. Almost.
Even though she had been released she wasn’t used to being free. There was never anything to do. Rajani had gotten used to her chores, her schedule, keeping busy, and now all she had was… time. What could she do with it? So far she’d discovered nothing that really spoke to her. Apart from learning how to wield a weapon properly. Then again to do that she had to find herself a teacher. The idea was less than appealing. Mostly because she knew that in order to correct her stance or hold they would need to touch her. Physical touch was something she both feared and despised.
Her hand stopped working on her leg and went to her throat instead. There, her two scars rested. Well, two of her scars. They were the only ones that had puckered and looked pinkish in color. Dragging her fingers over the lines, as squiggled as they were, she could remember the pain from each of them. One had been sharp and swift almost life ending and the other had rubbed for a long time and caused discomfort for weeks. Rajani closed her eyes as she traced over the marks once more, this time more slowly. Even though she couldn’t see them with her own eyes she knew them intimately. They were hers to wear.
When the moment passed she put her foot back down, dropped her hand to her lap and brought her head back up so that she could look around the jungle she sat in. The young woman was in the middle of nowhere far from any well traveled road so she didn’t expect to see anything but trees. However, in that moment she stared into the distance and saw, figuratively, her family. Her mother and father were smiling at her and waving, calling her to join them. Her brother.. Was faceless. Her hatred had erased his features from her mind. She could only bring up the general look and even that could be any shifter child. “A sad day when one cannot even remember their own brother.” Truly she was lucky to have remembered his name. “Elsif…” She said the word but it felt heavy on her tongue. “Why did you do it..?”
That question had plagued her ever since the event took place. That fateful incident that landed her in Oba serving an Oban family. Had her brother wanted to get rid of her all along? Had his love been a facade? Did he resent her for taking half of their parents’ love? Did any of that justify what had happened?
Frustrated with the direction her mind was going in, for the billionth time, she brought her hand up and aggitately ran her fingers through her hair. Pushing it up and over her head only to get her digits stuck where her braid began. Wiggling her fingers she disentangled them from her white locks and got to her feet slowly. “I don’t have time for this. I need to find someone to teach me to use a hammer.” While Rajani knew that meant she would either have to endure her personal space being invaded or tell the person in question her fear, she needed to learn. “What class is that anyways?” She asked herself.
The Obans hadn’t taught her anything while she was in their service so she only knew the weapon type she wanted to use, not the coordinating class that went with it. Rajani wasn’t too worried about it though, she knew someone would tell her what it was when she tried to describe what she wanted. “Wasn’t it something like guard?” She continued to talk to herself as she began walking again. “Or was it Brute?” Her head tilted to the side as her mind considered what the title was.
When she was snagged by a branch she paused just long enough to get her sash free. It was the only thing that she’d really taken with her when she had left Oba, apart from the necklace around her neck. The sash was a sentimental thing, though she couldn’t really explain her attachment. The jewelry had been a gift from a friend. Her eyes searched the cloth for any tears then she dropped it and continued on her way. Rajani made it a point to avoid any low hanging branches after that. “Stupid Oban thing getting caught on a branch..” She tisked rather loudly. “Just wait.. I’ll return it to it’s owner one day.” As she said this she balled her hands into fists. “Once I become a Brute, I’ll return it.” And then some.
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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 2:44 pm
☾xx Envyxx ☽ Content - 1001 Words
︾ She sat on a branch high in the trees and well out of reach of people so that she could think in peace. Rajani's mind was a whirl wind of thoughts and feelings. Mostly about everything that had happened since she had returned to Jauhar. The people she'd met, the things she'd seen, and now.. her family. Her real family. The one that had given birth to her. The one she had been stolen from all those years ago.
The young shifter girl had decided that she wanted to find them again. See her parents and make sure that they had gotten over her loss. What Rajani found instead was a happy family of four, not three. Her mother and father were being overly protective of their young daughter, her little sister. And Elsif.. he was doting on her. As she had watched from a distance she had felt her heart breaking. She wanted to drop to her knees and cry but there was something inside her that refused to give in to that. Instead she remained silent and still as she took in the whole thing. Everyone had looked so happy as if nothing tragic had ever happened in their lives.
Now, up in the trees and far away from where her family lived, she stared at a small cluster of leaves as they moved in the breeze. How was it fair that she had been replaced so easily? The girl, which she had heard her brother call Henu, looked as though she was only a year or so younger than her. So that meant that Rajani hadn't been mourned. She had been forgotten. Replaced.
When one of the leaves in the cluster broke free her eyes followed it's path. The green leaf floated on the wind for another moment before it made it's slow descend to the ground below. By watching it she caught sight of Elsif and thought her heart had jumped into her throat. What was he doing here? Raja slowly moved so that none of her limbs would be visible if her brother looked up. This was not the time to be spotted or confronted. With all of her mental problems she doubted her family would understand. Besides, she didn't want to put them through the pain of knowing what she went through while they played happy years.
Taking a risk of being seen she leaned over to look down and see what it was that Elsif was doing. The man seemed to be looking around for something. Had he seen her watching them before? Did he recognize who she was? Was he looking for her? Rajani stopped herself from trying to empathize with him. He probably didn't want her to come back since she could tell their parents what he'd done. If she had a hammer she would have leaped from the tree onto him. Sadly that wasn't the case. She was unarmed. Chal had taken her dagger from her since he didn't want her stealing anymore.
Rajani was about to move higher into the tree when she heard movement below and couldn't help but be nosy. It was Henu. She had followed her brother into the woods so blindly. It made Raja want to scream at her to go back to her parents, to the safety that they could provide her. She hated the girl for trusting Elsif so openly but feared something bad would happen to her all the same. The curse of finding out that that she was an older sister, she thought.
"What are you doing Elsif?" Her voice reached Rajani's ears and even she had to admit that it was a soft sound. Much different from her own.
"I thought I saw someone.." He stated before shaking his head and wrapping his arm around the girl.
The whole scene caused Rajani to close her eyes tightly and lean back against the trunk of the tree. She needed to stay out of sight and she couldn't watch anymore of her siblings being close. It was how it had once been with her and Elsif. She had looked up to him in much the same way that Henu did now and it hurt her to see it. The memories that it brought to the surface and the betrayal that had ended it all.
"Are you seeing her again?" Those words caused Rajani to open her eyes and stare, stricken, at the tree across from her.
"Yeah. I.. I thought I saw her in the trees. I'm sorry Henu." Elsif replied.
There was something else that was said but Raja didn't hear it. Instead all she heard was the roaring of her pulse in her ears. Fear and Anger coursed through her. Again? Did he see her all the time? She hoped guilt ate at him from the inside and rotted his soul. She had not yet reached forgiveness for him and likely never would. Or at least not any time soon. Maybe when she was old and grey... er. She didn't think that he deserved to have a second chance with Henu. Did she know that it was his fault that Rajani had been taken? Did he tell her?
As the two walked away and the forest became quiet again she hit the back of her head against the tree several times as she kept her eyes closed. "No. No. No." On her final "no" she stopped taking out her anger on her head and simply sat there staring up at the canopy. "That is cruel Serin. You saw how he abandoned me and yet you allow him to have a second chance..." Rather than crying her body reacted in a different way. It went limp. Her legs dangled over the branch and her arms lay heavily in her lap. Raja would remain like that for some time since she had no will to face anyone with a broken heart.
Especially if that someone was Chalcedony or one of his sons.
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Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 3:11 pm
☾xx A step forward xx ☽ Content - 1001 Words
︾ Her encounter with the mixed boy in the streets before she had left Jahaur for Tale was still in her mind. The child had clearly needed her help, since he might have been blind, and she had been too afraid to do anything. Rajani couldn't hug him and soothe his fears due to her own fear of physical contact, she couldn't even walk with him into the city to get food because she feared the crowds. It made her realize that while she wasn't stabbing people at random anymore for simply getting too close, she also wasn't being helpful to those that needed it.
A frown formed on her lips as the memory replayed in her mind and she tried to think of a way that she could have done more for the child, but everything she thought of she had already done or had shot down. Rajani felt horrible about the whole meeting. She'd even used her foot to keep him away from her. Her foot! Normally girls were more kind to children. It made her wonder if she would want to have a child some day. Would she be able to hug it? Carry it? Heck, she'd have to let someone touch her before that was even possible and with the way things were right now, she didn't see that happening. A fact that didn't seem to bother her since she was still unsure of how she would react to a baby.
Then there was the run in with Aysun's Uncle. She had never learned his name the entire time she was in his presence though. Their first meeting was less than ideal as well. Actually it was horrible. It was almost similar in nature to how she had met Chalcedony. Except, Chal had been a lot nicer to her. The leaf guy had been gruff and rude. Then again she could have introduced herself better. Rajani was just no good with people. She hadn't been since she'd left Oba. Then again she wasn't so sure that she had ever been good with people since she had been taken away from her home. The shifter girl couldn't trust others and having them so close to her made her mind panic in ways she didn't like. Truly it was only Chal that she could stand being so close to her. Aysun wasn't so bad though she was still a bit wary of him. Though Rajani might not accept him touching her out of the blue she might be okay with contact she initiated on her own. It helped a lot that he had Maw too.
That beautiful Janarim of his comforted Rajani. Not just because he was her favorite beast but because of his dark color. It was mesmerizing. In the shadows of Jahaur that creature could hunt and sneak around like no other.
Now Rajani was sitting on a mid level tree branch in Tale, looking toward some houses. She had been pointed in this direction to find Chalcedony but so far she'd not seen the big man. It made her worry. She wanted her dad since she was in a strange place with strange people. Running into Jacinthus was enough of the leaf people for her. If he had been a representation of them all, she wanted nothing to do with them ever again. Though she did feel a bit accomplished since she had left her sweet Jauhar. It made her adventurous, right? Rajani snorted at her own thoughts. Going in search of the man she called Dad wasn't being adventurous, it was being clingy.
Turning her head so that she could look in the direction of the thicker jungles she sighed. In her mind she wanted to make strides forward but whenever she was faced with something difficult she curled in on herself. Rajani couldn't even bring herself to confront her old family. Of course she wasn't sure if it was her fear of people that kept her away from them or just not wanting to face the facts. They had moved on without her. Had another child. Elsif got another chance to be a big brother. And she was struggling to figure out if she had a new family or not.
Sitting there she felt tears rise up then spill over involuntarily. Rajani quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand, not wanting them to show how weak she felt at the moment. That was why she wanted Chal. She was hurt. Not physically, but still hurt. Heck she could even go for having Aysun around to cling to. Rajani wanted comfort. She actually wanted that physical touch, a hug, from someone she could trust. It was the first time in.. well years! That knowledge hit her some hours ago but to actually accept that was an emotional thing for her. "Serin, where is he?" Rajani called to her deity. While she didn't expect a beam of light to show her the way she did want some small sign that he was nearby.
Sighing, she turned her head to look back toward the houses. It was possible he was in one of them, but there was no way for her to find out. Other than waiting to see if he came out of one. She didn't want to knock on the doors and have people emerge grumpy that they had been disturbed. Rajani leaned her body against the trunk of the tree and drew her legs up so she could wrap her arms around them. "I just want Chal." Her voice cracked a little as she spoke. Still feeling that longing for comfort her tears bubbled up again and this time when the streaked down her cheeks she didn't bother to wipe them away. The wind would dry them for her while she waited. "I just want my dad." She wasn't sure how long it would take for the large shifter to appear so she settled in and prepared to wait through the night.
(( In this growth Rajani is finally starting to feel the need to be close to others. She still has her general fear of being touched but it is slowly being overridden with the need for comfort. ))
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2016 6:48 pm
☾xx On a Sour Notexx ☽ Content - 2738 Words
︾ With nothing else to do in her spare time Rajani was out with Ethra. The maglardilla that she had caught after it had somehow gotten into the house. Rather than send it out all alone she had kept it and turned out the poor thing liked being with her. Rajani was in the woods hunting for fruits. The ones she wanted were up in the trees so she had climbed into the branches of one and was looking around. Ethra had follow, though he seemed to be able to climb far easier than she could. It made her chuckle and shake her head. The little show off.
Still she balanced on the branch and thought about doing a bit of showing off herself. The shifter leaned back so that she could rest against the thick trunk of the tree and bring each leg up to both stretch and take off her boots. Since they reached half way up her thighs it was a bit of a task to take on but once she was free of them she wiggled her toes and allowed them to feel the rough bark. She dropped her shoes and her hammer to the ground just below them and gave a quick look to make sure there was no one else but her and Ethra around.
Her familiar noticed the markings on her legs and got closer so that he could investigate with his pincers. Rajani looked down at the scars that the insect touched and she gave him a sad smile. Reaching her hand out she gently rubbed the side of his head. "It's alright boy, they're all healed up." It was the only comfort she could offer her little friend. When he seemed satisfied with the fact that she wasn't in pain he moved away but stayed close in case she needed him. Rajani stared at her legs for a moment. No one knew about those scars. Not even Chal. Mostly because she kept her legs covered at all times. There were very few bare spaces of skin that she allowed to show and they were typically mark free. The exception being her neck. There were two scars there but she didn't like having things around her neck, other than her shell necklace, so they would remain visible.
When she was done staring at her own limbs she looked up at the branch and pushed away from the center of the tree. With one foot in front of the other she balanced and walked the length of the tree's arm. Even as it bent due to her small weight she pushed her boundaries and went farther and farther. When there was very little to feel beneath her feet she stopped and simply stood there. Still as a statue. Rajani held her arms out to the side of her and took in a deep breath as the wind rustled it's way through the thick foliage. This was freedom. This is how her childhood should have been. If only. She thought to herself. Her eyes slowly closed and she took everything in. The sounds the smells; everything. It was all perfect in this one moment.
As the breeze stopped she opened her eyes and took a step back so that she could turn around. Ethra's chittering had finally reached her ears as he disliked that she had gone out so far. Rajani chuckled at him as she made her way back toward the trunk of the tree. However, half way back along the branch she bent at the waist and placed her hands on the thick branch to hold her weight. When she was sure she had a good hold she pushed off with her legs and brought her body into a hand stand. At first her legs remained apart, helping her to keep balance but when she was sure she had it she brought them together and was a perfect version of the trick. With her toes pointed toward the sky she slowly turned her body, moving one hand to the other side and then the other. Rajani was twirling while upside down.
Knowing that she couldn't hold herself like that for long she eventually let her legs part into a split then brought herself back down, all without having any contact with the branch. The only thing touching it was her hands. Finally, with her legs out to each side she lowered herself completely and sat on the branch and laughed. The sound that came from her was alarming since she could tell it was pure. The shifter girl had fully enjoyed herself. "I haven't done that since I was little.." She told her familiar as he moved along the branch to meet her.
With her legs dangling down she leaned forward and rested her stomach along the rough bark. Ethra stopped just in front of her and she laid her head against him. In truth she was surprised that she still knew how to do the hand stand like that. It had been risky to do since she was so high up in a tree but it had been so worth it. Wondering if she could do the other things she used to do she was soon back up and balancing on the branch. Her laughter filled the air and soon even her maglardilla was doing things with her. He'd crawl up her leg and cling to her as she twirled or even climb to the top and chitter loudly as if to claim he was the winner. All of it was in good fun.
Unfortunately Rajani didn't realize that her joy would catch the attention of someone. A certain someone that was not supposed to be this close to Sol. Elsif. He had been searching the jungle for her ever since the day he thought he'd seen her. The sound of someone laughing had brought him close but what he saw in the tree drew him in even closer. It was her! His sister! His Rajani! So he climbed the tree as well and when he reached the branch she was on and having fun he smiled at her. He wanted to call out to her, to tell her that he was there, but he was so captivated by the joy she was showing. Could his adorable little sister really be so happy after what had happened to her? Then his eyes saw her bare legs. There were scars. They were a sobering reminder to him that he had failed her. "Rajani.." He finally said.
The sound of someone's voice over her laughter sent a chill right down her spine and into the pit of her stomach. Why did that voice sound familiar? Either way she jumped and almost lost her balance. She flung her arms out to her sides to stay upright then turned her head to look over her shoulder at who it was. Her color paled, almost to that of the night time color of shifters. Her head snapped forward and her breathing picked up. What is he doing here? The thought screamed inside her mind. After a moment of swallowing hard she finally took action. Since her hammer was on the ground she needed to get down there so she jumped. Well, sort of. Rajani caught the branch with her hands on the way down to slow herself then released it so that she could drop down to the next one. She did this all the way down until she hit the ground and rolled right to her hammer. Once it was in her hand she moved back and stared.
"Rajani no!" Elsif called then cursed under his breath. He had forgotten that his sister was so good at being in trees. It took him just a bit longer to reach the ground than it had her but when he was there he was making his way toward her. "Don't you remember me? I'm Elsif. Your brother." Maybe that was the problem? She didn't remember? If that was the case then he needed to remind her. "Come on, Jani, surely you didn't forget your big brother." He reached for her.
Her eyes narrowed at him and she spit at the ground in front of him as he got closer. She wasn't going to let him near her if it was the last thing she did. When he tried to explain to her who he was she wanted to laugh at him. Rajani had never forgotten him. She might barely remember her parents but he was always there. The brother that had betrayed her when she was little and helpless. Then he said her childhood nickname. At the time it had been a sweet thing to hear but now.. Her hammer swung and slammed into his arm, knocking it away. "Do not touch me! And never say that name to me again. I stopped being Jani when you left me to the Obans." Her anger had spilled out and she spat her words of hate at him.
He hissed when she hit his arm and he had to hold it close to rub at the sore spot. At least she remembered who he was. Though he did flinch when he caught the tone to her words. "Jan-- Rajani, I didn't mean to leave you there. I wanted to get help. I never thought that you would just stand there." Elsif sighed. He had told himself over and over again that she should have run. Why hadn't she run? "But you're back now. You can come home. Mother and father would be overjoyed to see you." And she could meet their younger sister Henu.
"Shut your mouth. Mother and father forgot me and had another daughter. Gave you another sister to look after. Serin help me I can't understand why. Do you leave her alone in the forest as well?" It was explainable but she felt like being spiteful. None of her good manners were kept when it came to Elsif.
"Is that what you think? That we forgot you?" He moved forward again, this time giving her no chance to swing that weapon of hers. Elsif caught her by the shoulders and pulled her to him so that he could hug her. "Rajani we never forgot you." He didn't know what to do to make her see that they still thought about her and wanted her home.
When he got past her swing radius and grabbed her she went still but it got worse when he pulled her to him. Rajani's mind blanked for all of a minute before she started to struggle against him and scream. If she had a knife this would be so much easier! "Get off! Let go! DADDY!!" Panic was rising in her and she didn't know what to do. Here was the one male in her life that she could never trust again and he was touching her! Hugging her! It was confining! "No! Get off!! Daddy!" Rajani kicked and clawed and screamed until she could get enough space between them. When she had the room she swung her hammer up and clocked Elsif in the jaw, sending him back a few steps. Right then she turned and ran!
Elsif was confused. Why was she struggling? Did she think he was going to hurt her? "Shh Rajani, it's alright it's -- Daddy?" He blinked. Who was she calling for? Their dad wasn't here and if he had known that Rajani was back in Jauhar he would have brought her home. Had she been sold? Brainwashed? Oh no! Then he got hit and he stumbled back. Moonbeams his sister had an arm! When she took off running he chased after her. "Rajani wait! Stop! You're not thinking clearly!" Then something flew past him and he had to duck to avoid being hit by it. Was that a maglardilla? Was it after Rajani? Could his day get any weirder!?
With her small lead on him Rajani went up and into a tree. Ethra was right beside her in a matter of seconds and turned to look as though he was defending her. She had always thought that when the time came for her to confront Elsif she would be able to fight him but the touch, the hug, it had brought up memories and things that she just was not ready to deal with. So she ran. Moving up the tree as quickly as she could the shifter felt her fear making her body shake. Before she could get any farther than the fifth branch she heard a scree and a yip. Ethra! Rajani paused for a second and that was enough to give Elsif the advantage.
He grabbed her ankle and tried to pull her down to where he was. "Rajani! I don't know who you are calling out for but he isn't your dad! Or dad is back home! In our village!" He had to get through to her!
Her grip failed and she was dragged down, screaming along the way. She went to swing her hammer at him again but this time he caught her writs and took her weapon from her, flinging it to the ground. "No! What have you done to Ethra!?" No longer with a weapon to defend herself she resorted to the trusty female defensive. Claws! Rajani tried to scratch out Elsif's eyes but she only managed to scratch his cheek before he grabbed her by both hands and pinned her against him and the tree. Now her fear was down right terror! He wouldn't do anything.. right!? "N-No! Stop! Don't touch me!" By now tears were all but gushing down her cheeks.
"Stop Rajani! You need to listen to me. You're not thinking right. Shhh" Elsif did what he could to calm her. "It's okay. You don't have to go back to that man, I can take you home." Then he saw her tears. Why was she..? Then he thought about it. In all the time she had been missing.. something was bound to have happened. "Oh! Serin! Rajani, no no, I won't hurt you. Here.. shhh, calm down." He released her and did his best to give her some space but he wasn't going to let her try to attack him again. Or run away.
"Get away from me! You touch me again and I'll scream for Chal. And Aysun." And Chandra if she had to! Rajani felt dirty now though. She had been touched and restrained. It made her skin crawl a little and she wanted to retaliate. So she pushed and swung again, this time gaining her access to the long branch. She ran along it hoping to reach the end and leap to the next tree. With Elsif being heavier than her he would have to climb down and then try to find her in the tree tops. Only.. she didn't get that far.
Elsif didn't know how to get through to her! Who was this Chal? And Aysun? There were two? His poor sister was being used by two then? When she slipped past him he reached out and grabbed her by the strings of her shirt. He thought they would be sturdy enough for him to pull her back but the knot came untied in his hand and she lost her balance. "Rajani!!"
Her feet missed the bark and she fell. She was too startled, too fearful, to try and stop herself. So down she went and Rajani hit the ground hard. It made her vision go pure white before knocking her out completely. She lay there on the ground as Ethra came over to lay on top of her and touch her face with his pincers. He was trying to get her to wake up. When she didn't he let out a loud screech.
Elsif hurried down the tree then went to his sister. Why had she fought him so much? She didn't think that he would..? Could she really think that? Did this man she called dad do such things to her? He set his jaw and gritted his teeth before he shooed the bug away from her and picked her up. Carrying her as gently as he could he headed toward Sol. She needed to see a healer to make sure nothing was broken. When she woke up he'd take her home and away from everything.
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