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 Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 11:26 am
Lawrence wasn't expecting to be hit in fact he wasn't expecting a whole lot of things which had happened in this current conversation. It was harder than he thought and he found his head knocked back by the impact and dropping his popcorn in the process.
He brought his hand up to his face, rubbing his precious nose and finding that the nice caring act did seem to melt away in the face of imminent danger and out of reflex he summoned his claws, looking cold and furious about the assault.
"I was just being NICE." he said. "But clearly NICE doesn't WORK ON YOU." and it was jarring for a man who didn't normally raise his voice, standing up abruptly, his nose bleeding slightly from the (admirable) hit.
"JAN ISNT REAL." he snarled. "RINS GHOST ISN'T REAL."
This was for Melvin's own good right? He thought it over. It wasn't because he got punched. It wasn't so narcissistic as all that.
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 11:47 am
He was torn at what to do. This person was Jan, but he had somehow lost himself to this new person. Whatever happened in the jungle, Lawrence had taken over, and since it was Jan's mind, he couldn't just kill what it was and bring Jan back.
What did he do now?
He's going to kill you, Melvin.
Jan would never do that. Not even as this.
Would you bet on it?
He stared up at him, at the claws. He didn't know what Lawrence would do, but he knew Jan wouldn't hurt him and deep down, Jan was there.
"Nothing you've said has been nice." He said back to him. "You only want to ruin everything."
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 12:02 pm
His nose hurt and he didn't have a mirror to make sure it hadn't been dented by Melvin's attack. Even Butch's assurances it hadn't gotten through the shield wasn't enough. The buzz of irritation was louder than even niceness could explain and there was a fly which sorely needed swatted.
"I was trying to be kind to you, to explain that all I ever wanted from you was THIS." he gestured at the room with a large clawed gesture. "And THAT." and he gestured at Melvin's hips. "So that you could get away from it all, so that you could WALK AWAY. Because they all inevitably do when they know. But no. You want to stay, you want to hit me instead, the one who is trying to save you. Then have him, have the one you think loves you."
And again he changed his posture, going from slightly desperate and scared, like a man holding a shaking kitchen knife against an assailant in his house to someone who oozed confidence and swagger from every pore.
"Of course he'd make me do this now wouldn't he. Lil' old pacifist me." he turned to Melvin and splayed the claws with a familiarity and ease. "Why'd you hit me?" he said. "Why'd you hit me in the face when you know how I feel about my goshdarned face? I think you need to listen to the man Melvin. You need tah listen to the truth and right now there are two truths. One. I didn't love you. I can't love you, I used you and two." and his smirk turned nastier.
"If you hit me in the face like that again I will ******** gut ya like a pig."
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 12:26 pm
"I didn't mean to." He managed when he heard Jan again, and he slowly sat where he was, feeling his insides turn and shrink. He never wanted this, but he wasn't sure how to help him. How did he help someone destroying themselves in front of him? Destroying the US they had? They had gone through so much, so shouldn't he have the strength now to stand by him even when he was going through this?
It was one thing for him to have told Jan, back during their vacation, that he would do anything for him to protect him from danger. He never thought it would be this.
All this. All these words. They were lies. All parts of it, and it was brought on by something he didn't know. He had to save him. He had to help him.
So he reached up, and took hold of the claw at the fingertips, and looked up at him.
"Jan, I didn't expect you to love me. I'm not.....not good enough for that.....but don't you remember what you told me. About you not being able to love?" He looked up at them. "....Did you lie when you said you still wanted to try and see?"
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Baneful rolled 2 10-sided dice:
3, 2
Total: 5 (2-20)
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 12:43 pm
"I told you what you wanted to hear pardner." he said. "I'd say anything to keep you here at my heel and it looks like I didn't even need to try to get you to stay. You were a good little dog while it lasted and a pretty good lay but seems like I need to make ya understand before I can be morally satisfied. You see you can't ever stay until ya understand the gravity of things and stop denying alla this."
"If you want tah stay after you understand that you were used, that no one could talk to or channel Rin then maybe."
The touch on the long talons was making Butch snarl and it made the buzz of tension even worse.
"Am I gonna have to make you understand how serious I am? Cause I'd rather not. I'm quite lazy ya see."
((Bless you dice))
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 12:56 pm
He continued watching him. If he wanted to talk around all this, then maybe he could figure out what was at the heart of all of this.
But it threaded on a discussion he didn't want to make.
Hypothetical that touched on the sensitive fabric that sewed so much together.
"If....if that was even the case, why go for so long and then why stop? Your own story doesn't make sense. Not from all the time we've been together. All the times things got bad and yet we got through it. All the times when you talked to me, told me how you didn't feel like you were able to feel anything, and I told you I'd still stay here. That wasn't out of just having sex, Lawrence. You have other people you are with, but you didn't just stay with them. You stayed here with me. Horace could give you sex. Horace has money. Plenty of people on the island have that, but you stayed here with me. So why are you lying to me?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 1:08 pm
Lawrence wasn't in a talking mood after spending so long in the jungle, he didn't want to have to try and explain something Melvin obviously wasn't willing to understand.
"I didn't tell you because I was getting what I wanted and how you felt about it didn't matter at all to me pardner. So long as you were putting out and not causing too much trouble I was going to keep you sweet. Sure I slept with other people but you were always there and you were a warm body to sleep next to at night. Ain't nobody been so loyal as you."
He shrugged his shoulders, still tensed but glad that Melvin hadn't been stupid enough to try and hit him again or to defy him further.
"And I keep telling you but I am not lying."
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 1:15 pm
He sat there, and his gaze finally went from Jan's hand, to his legs, and down. He let go.
"So if we were ever together, it would only be for those reasons?"
Hadn't he said before this wouldn't happen.
"....did you just loose interest?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 1:22 pm
"If we were together it would be under the circumstances it always was pardner which would be you as my loyal little minion and dog. Which isn't ok. I'm lookin' for a wife. I'm lookin for one wife who I can't stop thinkin' about. I couldn't have two, that's not the done thing, for me anyway. If I can't get rid of the love I have for my missy I'm just going to have to go after it. It'd be leadin ya on to do otherwise."
He smirked. "Do ya want me to say yes? I can say I just lost interest in you if it makes you feel better, but lets be honest, get me in a tense mood I'd still ******** you, I'd still hang out with you, long as I'm getting what I want I'm always interested pardner." and he aimed a long taloned fingergun at the other man.
"Don't make me have to rough you up though, seems like you are finally getting it."
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 1:29 pm
He still looked down.
"I don't think either of these is you, Jan. I think something has happened to you in the jungle. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you. That you lost yourself."
He got up slowly and looked at the other man. "I think you need my help." Jan needed it. "I won't let you loose yourself."
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 1:47 pm
The buzz of frustration swelled again. "I haven'tlost myself" he exhaled. "I found myself. Part of myself I need again. I'm going to make things right pardner. And the first stop is fixing you and making you realise how free you are."
He clenched the claws. "How are you going to stop me?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 1:54 pm
"that part of yourself .....why is it that part seems like it's talking for all of you? Why is it that it's making your different all over? You used to cherish us. Now you're not. You weren't like this before. Why was it that the part of yourself you found meant I was out. That you needed nothing else."
Saliva slipped into his hands, but she wasn't raised. "What do I need to do then, Jan? To make things right with us again?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 1:59 pm
"I DO cherish ya pardner, that's why I'm telling you about the lies and about all the things I used you for, so ya can get out and find something or someone else. Do ya really want to do nothing but live in denial? Does that make you happy?"
He laughed snidely. "Cause it ain't gonna work with the whole new good person thing. Sleeping with some guy I seduced by pretending I was his dead girlfriend doesn't look like someone starting over with good things. I don't mind sharing the room still but the sleeping together's gonna need to stop. Things can be "right" again when you work through things and decide if after ACCEPTING that Rin couldn't speak through me and you slept with me anyway that you want to stick around."
He shrugged. "What I need right now is for America to come around and /marry/ me."
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 2:14 pm
He stared back at Lawrence, gripping Saliva tightly at the idea of him marrying America.
"Your other part of you would be better off living by itself.' This part of him, who lied and destroyed, who wanted America and get married as if that could even happen, was not one that needed to be here.
And that's when something stirred slow in him and a little voice whispered back.
"Jan is the only person who can share this room with me. He is the man I love. The real one. If Jan is here, he can stay, but don't think I'll let the other you walk around the island ruining his good name. To ruin all he cares about."
To ruin what they built together.
"I won't let you go that easily." Jan had ran away and now he was lost. He wasn't about to let him get away again.
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2016 2:25 pm
"Living by itself?" he said, initially completely confused by the comment, derailed as he tried to process what on earth Melvin meant. Surely the man realised that after all the discussions they had had that all of the personas were just masks on the one person and couldn't...
It slowly dawned on him that this wasn't exactly the case. He couldn't tell if Melvin was aware of what he'd just implied so deliberately did not address it, instead pushing ahead to raise a brow at the other man.
"So you are saying, because I am me. Because I am actually Lawrence, I am being thrown out. Is this what you are saying? You are telling me to leave?"
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