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 Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 2:40 pm
The change was almost immediate, even without dress or a costume. Lawrence's expressions were friendlier and more relaxed.
And he talked about his family, as if it was easy to do.
"That's the part I liked about it too. Being with friends," Rodney said. "That's...why I accepted your offer, too. More than the um, amenities."
He wandered a little further past the mouth of the cave, where daylight was still filtering in.
"Do you know how far back it goes?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 2:53 pm
Lawrence looked pleased at this revelation and nodded. "Well I'm glad you accepted my offer because you have been a very excellent roommate and friend. I felt the same though, things were quiet after the other America left, whatever it was she ended up calling herself." he looked slightly concerned and a little upset. "She never told me anything about her changing her name you know, only Dawson, maybe I intimidated her. Anyway basically it was the same, you were welcome and are welcome."
He stood in the entrance of the cave and looked in, at first with the distant eye of someone looking at just an interesting cave along with Rodney, admiring nature and about to comment that you probably wouldn't get too far back without encountering water when he seemed to realise what they were looking at and his expression changed to apologetic horror.
"Oh. Don't. Go in there." he said. "That's where the Horace..unpleasantness happened. I just must have come back here because I remembered where it was and knew the area. It doesn't go far, lets go."
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 3:17 pm
"It's alright," Rodney said, still looking deep into the structure. He did catch a glint of water. "It's just a cave."
He knew something of the relationship, but didn't understand it. He knew they'd been together not too long ago.
"I read about it. ...He covered for you?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 3:25 pm
Lawrence looked uncomfortable at the fact that Rodney held onto the discussion about the cave rather than moving on and hovered in the entrance. "It is just a cave but it just.. it feels all wrong to me." he brought his hand up to his chest, seeming at odds with the nightmarish things he remembered doing.
"It was awful." he said. "And he didn't get the chance to, he tried. I was caught with him captive, by America and a few others. I think I wanted to be caught. I don't know what I was thinking, it makes me nauseous. Like something was wrong with my brain."
He backed up another few steps. "I had him drugged, I think I was going to cut his whole hand off, I don't ..." he put a hand to his face and dropped to his knees on the sand.
"Please Rodney, can we go? I don't like it."
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 9:32 pm
Rodney was surprised to hear the edge of panic. When he turned, Lawrence was on his knees. Like this was news to him. Like it had been someone else. Is this what Lawrence had meant by vulnerable?
Rodney knelt beside him, offering a hand. A demon's footed claw holding a skull peeked out from Rodney's wrist.
"We can go. It's not the cave's fault. ...It won't fix it, anyway," Rodney said gently.
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 10:47 pm
Lawrence took the hand with a tight sense of urgency in the grip. "I know." he said shakily. "I can't fix anything that's gone wrong. I just can't deal with it right now. It's too much." The nausea collided with the hunger and the chill in his hand horribly and left him shivering physically as if having some sort of panic attack.
"I can't understand why I did it. It shouldn't have happened." he needed help, there was no reason why he should have hurt anyone, people were off limits, hurting people was wrong.
He got to his feet but his hand still shook slightly. "I'm sorry, I'm not good for much right now." and he laughed wryly at his own state.
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Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 7:52 am
"Control," Rodney guessed, helping Lawrence up. The age gap. The violence. Horace's excuses for Lawrence, and the continuation of the relationship at a time when Lawrence had been feeling trapped and scattered.
Even this, now, was a kind of control. Lawrence's diet had that feeling too. He'd made the decision to be this person. If the structure failed, it wasn't his fault or decisions, just the decisions of Dr. Lawrence Weiman. He wore it like a new suit of armor. Rodney thought it might mean the inverse. That Lawrence was someone who felt unsafe and out of control. And as much as he insisted he didn't feel, not like normal people, not like a real person...
"That's alright," Rodney said. "Sorry. You've been out here for days, you're probably looking forward to a shower. I used to be a part of this forum, and we did a lot of, um, urban exploration...it's not the time for it." Not that the cave was very urban either.
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Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:53 pm
Lawrence did not look consoled by this summary of his reasoning. It probably had been control but he couldn't understand it. Control was excelling at his work, control was being a good, kind and level father. Control had been being a good person. Where had it gone wrong, where had it become hurting people? Animals. He thought, sometimes they had to be trained, you had to refine them and make them good, but you couldn't do that to people. It was like his mother had said, you didn't do it. You didn't hurt, you helped.
His head ached and he felt sick. "I think I used to be on forums like that. Paranormal. Mystery, exploration. I needed gullible people." he made a face. "I don't know why. Rodney I.." he didn't want to let go of the other man's arm. He looked back at the cave and pushed to walk further away from it, acting distinctly unnerved about something about it.
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Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 2:50 pm
It felt like a deliberate jab.
"We'll head back."
It wasn't the cave's fault. It was the person in his arms.
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