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Broken_Illumination Captain
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 Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:00 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:01 am
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:08 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 1:25 pm
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 1:27 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 1:28 pm
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 1:45 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 1:47 pm
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 4:15 pm
**No One Wants To Be Alone** Lucian was pacing the conference room as Fehn sat quietly, a worried look on her face.It was a few minutes before Andy entered and paused. "s**t, is this an intervention?" she asked, a frown on her face. "I swear I'm not drunk right now.."Lucian just sighed and motioned her to sit. "It's not an intervention for you..." Andy sighed with relief and sat down. "Then what the hell is the deal calling me like the damn place is on fire...""Where were you anyway?" "None of your business..." she looked away. "Really? And at what point are you going to realize you are the biggest target in the whole ranks right now. People will be gunning for you, and here you are running off to play dangerslut again.""I was with my boyfriend, you insensitive ********> Andy hissed angrily. Lucian paused, blinked with surprise. "..wait... Boyfriend? Since when?" he then narrowed his eyes. "It's not Ree, is it?""Wh-what? No! It's a different guy entirely. Jeez, I thought you said this wasn't an intervention for me. It sure does sound like it is!" she groaned with annoyance. "It's not about you!" "Then why are you asking me about him?""Because I get concerned okay? What if he's just taking advantage of you, or just... seduced by your powers..." Lucy rambled. Fehn looked incredibly uncomfortable sitting there watching them fight. She cleared her throat a little, but it did nothing to grab either of their attention. "Seduced?! Why do you make it sound like it's my fault! You know I can't control it! Ugh! What does it matter? It's none of your business who I date... And no, he isn't affected by my power... and no he isn't taking advantage of me. He's actually nice to me, for ******** once. Is that so much to ask? That I just have a guy that treats me right and doesn't try to brain wash me or get inside my personal business without permission." she hissed. Lucy growled softly. "You don't have that luxury, Andy!" "AHEM" Fehn finally made a louder noise and both of them turned their attention to her. "Look, not to interrupt what squabbling you both have here... but Lucy did have a good reason for calling the meeting. He's really concerned about Zaku... as am I." she spoke with a frown. "Concerned? Why, what's wrong?" Andy asked, suddenly worried about this now. Lucy frowned. "I can tell somethings wrong with him... his smile isn't genuine and he looks... tired." "When was the last time he slept?" Andy inquired. Lucy shook his head, "That isn't the point... he's hiding something.. and I just don't want that to distract him from plans we have. He's not his usual self, and I just... I worry about him." Andy sighed and nodded. "Alright, alright, I'll talk to him." Fehn smiled faintly. "Thank you, Andy. I tried to ask myself but he just told me he was fine and not to worry about it. But I'm pretty sure he was just placating me... and it's not like Lucy can read his mind to find out what's wrong.." Andy nodded. "Got it." she spoke and got up. "Andy.." Lucy spoke up."Hm?""I'm sorry... I don't mean to accuse you of things... I think... I just worry about you both a lot. I get overzealous... I really don't intend it to be mean." he admitted dejectedly. Andy sighed and smiled, moving over to him and leaning to kiss his forehead. "It's fine, Lucy. I understand you mean well... Thank you." she responded softly and turned to leave again, her smile fading the moment she left the room.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:46 pm
**Talk Enough Sense and You'll Lose Your Mind** Zaku was laying down, staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. It was quiet, something he both enjoyed and dreaded. He wished he had his mp3 player, but couldn't exactly remember where he had left it, forgetting about the fact he had given it to Stormy. A soft knock at the door, Andy entered. "Hey there, champ." she greeted with a faint smile. Zaku sat up and smiled at her, although it didn't seem to reach his eyes. His gaze was a tired one wrought with sleepless nights consumed by racing thoughts about far too many things. Andy sauntered over and set a bottle down on the nightstand and set down two glasses. "Let's drink." she grinned softly. Zaku frowned. "I don't dr-..""Shh... I know what you're going to say, but isn't it better when you relax... I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind... alcohol can help clear all that junk out. I know it helps me when I can't seem to think clearly." She poured alcohol into both glasses and then took them to sit next to him and offered him one. "Come on... don't act like you don't drink at all. I'll make sure you don't drink too much, okay?" Zaku seemed contemplative, frowned, sighed, then took a sip. Andy smiled, "See? It ain't gonna kill you." she joked a little. "You know.. I went on a date." she opened up. Zaku quirked an eyebrow. "...really?""Yeah, just a date. We didn't even go home together. He didn't even kiss me. Just gave me a flower... Forget me Nots. He said he got them because he didn't want to forget me and the color reminded him of my eyes." she snorted. "Isn't that just corny?" "...but you like it?"Andy smiled and swirled her glass a little before taking a drink. "For some reason, I do. He's not like anyone I've ever been with...""Why the change of heart? Didn't you used to say you never wanted to date anyone after Rasiel...." he asked curiously. "Yeah, well, Rasiel was a piece of work." she grunted with a wrinkle of her nose. Zaku laughed a little, but it was only half-hearted. Andy sighed, "This guy is something else though.." she commented. "I guess.. I recently decided I just.. wanted to be a committed person. No reason really.""Hmm...okay." he seemed skeptical."Hey. You're supposed to just believe me, you know." she punched him gently in the arm. Zaku snorted a little and took another sip. "What about you, huh? How are you holding up with everything that's happened..." Zaku frowned a little. "...I don't even remember everything that's happened... so I guess I'm holding up fine." he answered simply. "....really.""...aren't you supposed to just believe me?""H-hey! Those are my words!" Andy huffed playfully then laughed. "Okay, so at least you still have your sense of humor." she sighed. "What's really got you down, huh? Is it Tri?" Zaku looked at her and frowned. "Why would you think it's Tri...?""Wild guess.""Is it really a guess?" "Maybe because of how you used to be..." Andy sighed. "I'm fine." Andy frowned and leaned back a little. "Then what's on your mind. You aren't yourself, you know..." "...of course I'm not myself, I don't even know who I am anymore." he admitted, paused and frowned. He hadn't meant to say it."I see... and what do you think would help you feel like yourself..?""I don't know. And I think that's what's troubling me... I don't even know who I used to be... I know how I feel, but is it really how I should have felt right now... Were there things that changed me... grew me... made me.. me. How would I know... I don't remember any of it." Andy's frown deepened. "I know that feeling... when I remembered everything after Kylar... I was really conflicted... between my feelings for him, and the fact I was so utterly disgusted by what he had done. It made me hate myself for ever feeling anything for the guy. But then I didn't know which were my real feelings and which were implanted... it was hard to grasp. I let it consume my mind, and it distracted me from the real threat and got me captured..." she explained. "You can't keep dwelling on things you can't control." "I've seen him.." "What?... Who? Tri?" she looked around. "Was he here??" Zaku shook his head, "On the television. With the Morrad heir. He looks like he's doing in the same as he did in SIU..."Andy stared at him with a hint of worry. "Look, Zaku, you really need to give up on that guy. I don't want to say he never cared for you, because I really don't know. But he's there doing things to further human agendas to eradicate people like us... just as he always has. All in all, whatever you might have felt for him, it means nothing to him... you are always going to be his enemy. That will never change." Zaku looked mournful. "...part of me doesn't want to believe that." "And that's the part that Valentein put in your head. You and Tri, that's not a thing. You both have literally been on opposite sides from the beginning... and the only reason the two of you aligned was because of Hexxis. Or Ree. If I could take a guess, he sees you as pawn to further whatever goals he has at the time... that's what I see. He's never come busting down my door asking about you, wondering if you're okay, or anything to indicate he would do anything for you if it didn't benefit him in some way." Zaku put a hand against his head and closed his eyes, taking another sip, he then took a deep shaky breath. "Then why does it hurt so much to think about him... I don't even remember... and yet it still hurts." Andy moved to wrap an arm around him to comfort him. "Don't know... but I figure it has to do with Val, and it will probably fade with time. I know it hurts, it's going to... but I think you'll sort out your thoughts and memories and realize that you never really loved him... it's just fake feelings by the goat lady to entertain her, and that's ******** up." Zaku took another shaky breath and downed the rest of the glass. Already drunk with just this much. He leaned over and tried to pour himself another glass, spilling some of it. "Whoa, slow down there. I promised I wouldn't let you drink too much..." she frowned. "...I just want to forget.""Yeah, well, you've already forgotten a lot... so let's not go overboard on that idea. Yeah, being drunk is cool and all, but you can't use it to escape your problems."He looked at her. "Yes yes, I know. Pot. Kettle. Black. I get it. But also know that it comes from someone who's constantly in that shithole of a bottom of the bottle... don't follow in my footsteps." she sighed. "Hey, why don't we find someone for you to date?""I don't want to date. I just.. want to watch the news.." "You don't actually want to do that, because you're just going to stare at Tri and feel shitty about yourself. I know you." "So? It's not hurting anyone.""It's hurting yourself. Just... let it go, Zaku. It's not worth it." "Fine... then take me to the main house." "Why?""To get my mind off of everything." "Jeez... you're really gonna get me in trouble with Lucy..." she rolled her eyes and got up, moving to the closet to pull out a hoodie and threw it to him. "Put this on and I'll take you." Zaku drank the second glass and then tried to pull on the hoodie, almost falling over in the process. Finally getting it on, he pulled the hood up over his head. He reached out for the bottle, took it and began to walk out of the house. Andy sighed and finished her drink. "Lucy is never going to let me hear the end of this..." she mumbled to herself with a soft snort, but at least this was better than letting him wallow in self-pity. Following him out, she lead him over to the main house and started up a party among them to make Zaku feel better.
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 10:27 pm
**False Prophets**
[Diary Entry]
IDIOT! You big dumb idiot!!
You weren't supposed to get yourself killed....
I tried to get Zaku to let me beg Blaise to bring you back, but he said it wouldn't work... just to let it go. To let you go. And I don't know why in the hell I can't do that! Maybe because some small part of me held out some kind of hope you'd see me as something more. Stupid, I know. I make a lot of stupid decisions. Like pretending to be monogamous to get you to like me... that was stupid. And it got an innocent person hurt. And in the end, you killed. I can't help but think I could have done something but... it doesn't matter now does it? You're gone. Gone for good.
Well, I quit.
I can't take this anymore.
I can't lose anymore people. I.. I quit.
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2020 12:05 am
**I'm sorry**
[Diary Entry]
I'm so stupid. So very stupid.
In my own moment of weakness I went back to him.
Rayce said I was desperate to be loved, and maybe he's right. I just want someone to love me, and at this point, it doesn't even matter who.
He's gone.
I feel so empty that I'll gravitate toward whatever warmth I can find wishing it had just been you. But it doesn't matter, does it? You never would have filled that void. So maybe... this is good enough.
I'm sorry.
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 9:03 am
**Flying or Falling**
[Diary Entry]
These days, I feel like I'm flying, something I miss dearly. The feeling of the wind beneath my wings as I sored through the skies without a care. Haven took that from me. They took so much from me. But now Falen walks into my life and quite nearly knocks me off my feet. He seems to care about me even when we are apart. Talking on the phone is no different than being in person, so it can't just be chalked up to my powers... at least that's what I'm thinking. It's strange. I thought I'd never find someone who makes me feel the way Falen does.
But it's also in the darkness that I'm reminded of *him* again and again. The only other person that made me feel loved, but not like that... no, never like that. It's so complicated. I'm elated but scared. Am I allowed to even have something as nice as Falen? Or will it just turn out to be like Rayce again, he fooled me good, the b*****d. I'm so apprehensive, but when he kisses me, the whole world melts away and I can't think of anything else but wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. Is that okay? Can I really have this? Please don't let there be a catch... I can't take another fall.
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