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 Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:44 am
When Regan was quiet, so was he because he'd never been one of those people who needed to fill silence with unnecessary chatter. Besides, silence had always been easy, comfortable between them. They were not people who needed to chat at each other to understand, or at least - that was the way Chase saw it.
But this silence was uncomfortable, her quiet oh hanging heavily in the air, space between them.
The twisting in his gut told him that whatever was coming next, he wouldn't like.
There won't be a next time. For both of us, it's probably best you stay away, she said and he just stood there, quietly, with an expression of stone, like he couldn't process what she'd just said.
He could, of course he could, how couldn't he understand? The problem was, he couldn't decide on how to respond.
His relationship - did he dare call it a friendship? - with Regan was complex and simple all at the same time. He didn't push, she let him in as she saw fit. He stepped back when she asked, let her step forward when she was ready but this? It made him want to step forward, to push and tell her, no. To insist that she change her mind, because pushing people away was the worst thing you could do with an abusive parent.
But --
He'd done the same thing when Samuel had been particularly oppressive. In truth, Chase hated that he understood. "Regan," he said finally, head tilted slightly as bright amber eyes regarded her carefully. "Reconsider - " a pause where he looked briefly troubled, but it was nothing more than a flicker " - please."
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:16 am
Chase...Alex was her first real true friend. She could accept that, when she looked at him and knew that he offered something that not many could. Fritz had tried, but he would always have the underlining pity for her. Alex didn't look at her with pity...She a sad understanding.
It's why she was struggling so hard to keep him away. To tell him to go. Words were easier to say when she didn't really mean them. That's how she got in fights, and thats why at school, she had been a outcast. It was why...well....She never truly understand people.
It should've been simple really. She was his mechanic, and that was all. Then he showed her what it was like to ride. To feel...conversational. To be normal...ish really. He didn't expect her to tell her a story, but didn't mind listening if she did.
Friendship was complicated and scary and it meant letting him just a bit deeper then she ever wanted. Her hands clutched in the hospital sheets and she shook her head.
"No." She repeated, "No, I can't. I can't do that." She had to show him, "I can't do this anymore." She reached over and pressed the button for the nurse. "Please, go."
It took only seconds and the nurses were rushing in, checkign her vitals. They asked Chase to sit outside while they asked their questions.
But if he caught Regan's eyes, it was a clear, disappear, please. So she could deal with the fallout and the damage.
Alone. Like she always had.
Because she would always be alone.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:46 am
The problem with them, Regan and Chase, was precisely that he'd come to understand her on levels that no one else would in such a short time frame. So, despite wanting to hear something else, the man knew what the girl was going to tell him.
Anyone else would have likely said something to her, argued and fought to make her keep them in her life, but that was not Chase and he did what he did best in situations like this. He shut down.
There was a dry swallow, the setting of his jaw, and the clench of teeth. His hands were shoved into the front pockets of his jeans to keep the controlled trembling of anger from being visible. The look in his eye said, you're making the wrong choice, don't do this but otherwise, he was impassive and kept his mouth shut.
Chase stepped back once she pressed the button and the nurses flooded in and shooed him out. He lingered outside for a minute, watching as she pleaded silently for him to leave and then, after the nurse blocked her vision, he left.
If she wanted space, he'd give it because he understood and perhaps that was why it was so tragic.
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