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Broken_Illumination Captain
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 Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 5:28 pm
[In Years Passed: Year 17]
------ This entry is locked away tightly ---------
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 12:33 pm
[Sick Of The Lies]
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Mon Feb 29, 2016 9:27 pm
[Regret Is A Shared Pain]
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 5:49 pm
[Unusual Circumstances]
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 9:08 pm
[Another Gift]
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 8:30 pm
[Selfish]
------ A page seems to be loose, if you tug it enough, it comes out of the journal easily ---------
When I was a child, I wanted to think that the problem was Obscurite. The malice that took home within myself. That every bad thing that happened was because of him. So many years have passed. I had hoped to look back and see all the accomplishments of my life. Yet, when I looked back on my life, I could only look out over a sea of mistakes. The people I've killed. The love I tried to build but ultimately tore down with my own hands. Everything was hard to take in. All the good I had thought I'd done was only the stepping stones to become the killer I am today. Every woman and child fears my name, my markings, my very presence. And they should.
When I dream, if I dream, I can only hear the chants of every person I've ever hurt. Every person I've ever killed with my bare hands. I hear them begging for me to fall. To be tortured for my sins and my crimes. And they are right. I am nothing but a monster. Even in my attempt to talk to the ones I once loved, they know I've changed. They know they aren't talking to Rasiel anymore. They are talking to the fleeting moment of humanity within a beast lusting to destroy everything it sets eyes on. They hate me, they fear me, they want me to burn. I don't blame them.
I learned to make a new weapon. I thought on it hard and it was easier than I had imagined. My blood pooling and forming into something easier to carry. A gun. Though, when I had intended to protect others with this weapon, my first instinct was to turn it on myself. I don't think I was wrong. I pressed the barrel to my head. I considered it. I really did. To protect them from me. I'm the problem. And once the humans find out I'm here in the sanctuary, they will surely come for me. They'll hurt everyone again. I was going to pull the trigger. They didn't need me. But in the end I was a coward. I'm so pathetic. I couldn't even sacrifice my own life to protect these people. The abomination that grew in the depths of the academy we all lived at. I'm absolutely selfish. I'm sorry. It's all my fault.
One day.. I'll accept my fate... and I'll pull that trigger. I'll save them from myself, before I hurt anyone else I love.
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 8:45 pm
[Empty Heart]
------ A page seems to be loose, if you tug it enough, it comes out of the journal easily ---------
I had locked myself in my sister's old bedroom in the mansion. I lost track of the time, that's very unlike me. I just wanted some time to think. After what Andy said to me. Maybe I was confused. I couldn't even give her a straight answer about how I felt about Deskri. Knowing her, she used the opportunity to place doubt. Though, it wasn't needed. I already doubted. It was a moment of weakness, and it was only a temporary solution. I want it to work. I doubt it will. It's not fair to him. Delilah was appalled, angry that I could "do this to him again". I didn't mean for this to happen. I haven't seen him in a while. Not exactly sure what happened to him, but I guess I'll give him space. After that last time, maybe that was for the best. I plan on going to see someone in the city soon. Hopefully, that won't cause any problems. In and out, really quick. I just need to see him. Maybe Rhun can help me make it there and back unnoticed. I'll have to see. I hate to rely on him like this, the more I involve myself with him, the worse the outcome is going to be. I just need to think. What did Andy mean by who my heart truly belongs to. I hate when she acts like she knows what's going on with me. She has no idea. But maybe she's right. I should talk to them. Maybe I'm rushing things. Maybe my heart was not meant for anyone. I'm barely a person anymore. I haven't a heart anymore, so maybe it belongs to death. I'm just waiting for it to come and claim it. Who the ******** knows?
------ There seems to be a list at the bottom of the page ---------
-Go to the city
-Talk to Deskri
-Clean Alice's room surprised
-Read the book
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Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 8:10 pm
[Frayed Ends]
------ A page seems to be loose, if you tug it enough, it comes out of the journal easily ---------
I had waited until the sun went down and the coast was clear. Made sure all of Rhun’s obligations were done before he helped me get into the city undetected. I’m really beginning to dislike him, but at this point I am just his slave. Maybe that’s for the best, he’s done more help than I have, so I have no room to judge him. He’s gotten me out of a bind more times than I can remember, and my affiliation with him would only seek to destroy everything he’s built. So I owe him. Besides, Zaku might remember something if he sees Rhun this time. I was able to get into the hospital pretty easily with Rhun’s expert smooth-talking. He’s getting a little too good at that, it’s unsettling.
Zaku remembered seeing me the last time, but nothing more than that. He introduced himself with Rhun. Zaku could already tell that I had something important to say, but I was too much of a coward to tell him. Rhun was better at this, and he took over the conversation. He told Zaku about the renegade and their time together. All the while, I remained silent within my own regret. I thought I could talk to him, but here I was too nervous, too scared to say a word. Rhun explained that Zaku had a daughter that he had taken care of in the 7 years Zaku had been asleep. Zaku was hesitant at first but smiled like he always did. When he asked who was the girl’s other parent was, Rhun told him it was Rasiel the Killer. For whatever reason, he had fell in love with a killer and maybe it was best never to tell anyone, since Rasiel was a wanted man and had left him a long time ago anyway. Zaku agreed. He smiled at me. I still couldn’t muster the courage to tell him it was me. That I was Rasiel, standing before him. That Rhun wouldn’t say it was me.
Then Zaku handed me something. It took me by surprise as I noticed it was a ring. I was going to ask him why he was giving this to me, but he was already there with an answer.
“Because I know this really belong to you... Rasiel.”
I was completely silent, I wanted to cry. Like he understood everything. Just like he always did. It hurt so much, but somehow it was nice. Rhun simply nodded. I asked him what would happen to Melody. Zaku smiled brightly and said he would handle it. He knew I could never be involved in her life like I wanted to. Maybe one day, but I didn’t want her getting hurt in all this. If they finally found me. Rhun said it was getting late and Zaku nodded. Zaku said goodbye to Rhun, and then said goodbye to me, told me to take care of myself. He really meant it too. He always did.
The walk home was quiet. Neither of us had anything to say, just an understanding that things were settled. One more thing off of my list of things I needed to take care of.
---------------
-Go to the city
-Talk to Deskri
-Clean Alice's room
-Read the book
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 4:36 am
[Empty Room]
------ A page seems to be loose, if you tug it enough, it comes out of the journal easily ---------
Deskri left. I wanted to stop him, but I have no right. I made a mistake. No, a lot of mistakes. Is there nothing I can do to redeem myself for all the people I've hurt. All the people I've killed.
I thought about seeking her out. The only thing holding back from the edge is the entire life I've built here. I can't just turn my back on all that. Maybe I'll just fade away after all... just like before. Just disappear from the existence of this world and fade into the malice that I've become.
I'm not even worth saving.
I'm worthless.
---------------
-Go to the city
-Talk to Deskri
-Clean Alice's room
-Read the book
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 10:06 pm
[Melody]
------ This entry is locked away tightly ---------
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 10:32 pm
[Phone Call]
Rasiel sat on the bed, deep in thought, he was wrought with emotions that he could barely control. He couldn't decide what to do. He couldn't just sit around, he had to do something. He pulled out his cellphone and dialed a number.
As the other person picked up, a female voice on the other line, it seemed happy, like she hadn't heard from him in a long time.
"I need help with something." he spoke calmly. "Andy was taken by some people. I know you aren't one to care about that, but they also took Zaku's daughter. This needs a special touch. I can trust you to do what's necessary?"
The voice on the other end grew softer, more calculating as though talking business.
Rasiel nodded, "And keep your boyfriend out of it, okay?"
The girl laughed and spoke some more.
"Thank you. I owe you." he sighed and hung up the phone and laid on his back. He didn't trust Lucian to get Melody back. They had overpowered Andy, and so they'd easily capture Lucian. This was all he could do from where he stood. He hoped it would work.
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Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 10:45 am
[We Need to Talk] Rhun leaned back in his chair as he drummed his fingers against the wooden desk as the line rang. The line went quiet as the other person picked up but said nothing for a few moments. "...It's been a while." a gentle voice rang out."A little too long. We need to talk.""........you mean...""No. I'm talking about Melody.""Oh." his voice was solemn, defeated."Is she with you?"He hesitated, "She's not.""I had a feeling as such. Where is she?""Last I checked, with SIU.""Last you checked?! And how long ago was that?" he gripped the phone tighter in anger. ".......a month or two ago..." he answered quietly."You're kidding, right? That's our-... You're unbelievable. Do you even care?""It's a little hard when both her parents are wanted criminals all the way across Tretera. You're in hiding, and I'm so far out in the open everyone is watching everything I do." he spoke calmly."I'm not going to argue with you. Either start caring and get her back... Or I will do it. And you don't want that..""I'm trying.""We all are. Some of us harder than others...." he jabbed, then heard a noise perking up slightly. "...I have to go. We will talk again about this later." he instructed quietly. "....... I'll await your call........ I'm sorry, Rasiel." he apologized quietly as he then hung up with him and sighed with a frown.
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Broken_Illumination Captain
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