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[R] Ginger Conflicts (Fiona x Fritz) (Fin) Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2

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kuropeco

Dramatic Marshmallow

PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 7:52 pm


Why did no one understand? It seemed incomprehensible to Fritz that people kept telling him one thing without fully getting the situation. He was not worth their time, he was not what they thought he was, and yet they kept trying to convince him of a worth he knew far surpassed his own.

He jerked instinctively under the touch to his knee, but did not draw away. His head was still in his hands, his fingers digging into his limp hair, and a welling sense of both anger and frustration was making his throat clog, making his breathing come out uneven.

Except he couldn't - wouldn't - the words wouldn't come. Fritz bit back the nausea, and gave a slow shake of his head.

"You don't - you don't understand," said Fritz bleakly, a tremble chasing its way up and down his spine. "I - this was never supposed to h-happen, I wasn't - I wasn't supposed to have been chosen, it's all...it's all just a big...mistake."


nuxaz
PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 9:24 am


"Okay, I don't understand," she exhaled slowly, reigning in her flaring temper. Yelling at him wasn't going to help, not when he looked so ready to crumble into pieces from even soft words and gentle touches. "But I'm trying to understand, so please talk to me. Explain it to me."

Fiona wanted to understand, almost desperately, if he thought she didn't.

"There's a lot of things that weren't supposed to happen," she said quietly, eyes searching his face pleadingly. "I don't-- I don't think that you're a mistake." Her voice was soft but steady, strong. Convicting. "So, maybe you weren't supposed to be it originally, but you're it now and whatever the grand design is? It's been altered to fit you in."

The woman felt like she was grasping at fraying threads at this point, but she wasn't going to give up. If she gave up on him, that meant she thought he was right and she didn't. "Whatever you're going through, whatever troubles making you feel this way Fritz--" she stopped to swallow and keep her voice from wavering. "I'm here and I want to help you, let me help you."


kuropeco

Nuxaz


kuropeco

Dramatic Marshmallow

PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 1:19 pm


He couldn't say it.

He couldn't tell her that it was the Code, that it had told him explicitly of his worthlessness. That it had reminded him of his inadequacy, that it had only served to ingrain into his head a fact that Celsus had known all along: that him being chosen for knighthood was a mistake.

Fiona's words sifted in and out of his head. He both heard them and did not hear them, his heart clenching in his chest, his body shaking.

"This universe is not meant for people like me," he said with a weak laugh, Fritz wrapping his arms around his middle and rocking slightly. He closed his eyes and shook his head against the sight of her, her kindness making everything feel somehow worse.

"I don't know what the Cauldron was thinking, choosing me, I was never - I should never have been - "


nuxaz
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 3:24 pm


"That's a load of bullshit," Fiona snapped. "The universe is meant for all kinds of people, that's the point." She winced at herself and how harsh she'd been. She breathed in deeply, refocused herself and directed her energy on being softer, kinder, understanding.

"Maybe you shouldn't have been, but you are," she said firmly, "and you need to make the best of it." Wallowing in self pity was helping no one. "Everything happens for a reason Fritz, even if you don't understand the reason right away."

She pulled back slightly as the man doubled over, clutched at his stomach. Both of her slender, delicate hands came to rest on his knees and she sighed. "I have to trust that the Cauldron knows what it's doing and you should too. We've all been picked for a reason."

It was getting more difficult for her to reign in her frustration when it felt like everything was going in one ear and out the other when she tried to reassure him, but Fiona knew she couldn't give up either.

Fritz needed her.


kuropeco

Nuxaz


kuropeco

Dramatic Marshmallow

PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 11:53 am


He flinched at her tone, his heart skittering in his chest. Fritz lowered his head, feeling the burn of shame across his cheeks, his hair falling alongside of his head and half hiding his expression of humiliation from Fiona's determined look.

In spite of this, however, her hands were gentle on his knees. Fritz swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and it was right there, on the tip of his tongue. Right there - it was a mistake. The Cauldron never meant to pick me, the line was supposed to end at Aurelius, it was supposed to - supposed to stop, I was never meant to be a knight.

But the words remained lodged inside of his chest and he swallowed them down.

"I want to," Fritz whispered painfully, his eyes falling shut. "I want to, believe me, I want to feel as though I belong, I just - I can't...make my mind work, I can't get it to understand anything anyone is saying, except for what's already in there, except for the whispers - "

He stopped abruptly, his expression stricken, some invisible line having been crossed unintentionally.


nuxaz
PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2016 3:12 pm


It hurt to look at him, the way he receded into himself, and flinched at every one of her movements toward him. It hurt because she wanted to help, but had no idea how to and Fiona hated feeling helpless.

It made her feel weak.

(And she was desperate to convince her she was anything but.)

She opened her mouth to counter his self loathing, but he kept talking and when he trailed off she couldn't help but get stuck on one thing. I can't get it to understand anything anyone is saying, except for what's already in there, except for the whispers -.

"Whispers? What whispers?" She asked before she could think twice. "Fritz - what are you -- okay, what whispers are you talking about?" There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, if he was listening to voices in his head then he was in worse shape than she thought. "Talk to me, please."


kuropeco

Nuxaz


kuropeco

Dramatic Marshmallow

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 6:00 am


He wanted to take it all back; desperately wanted to remove the words that he had just inadvertently spoken, swallow them away so that they were gone out of the air between them. Fritz's expression was a distressed one, panicked, his green eyes wide with fear.

"No," he said, and it came out hoarse, in a rush. "No, I mean - no - "

Fiona's voice was in his ears, resounding, and he wanted to run, but there was no place to go. She was right in front of him, and any movement would mean pushing her over, or hurting her, and he had no desire to do either of those things at all.

He had nowhere to go anymore.

Fritz's head dropped, his arms still around his waist. He couldn't look at her, shame burning like acid through him.

"I hear them," he whispered painfully, "telling me, reminding me, that I'm - that this was all a mistake."

The Code was in his thoughts, lazily curling through them.

You were a mistake.


nuxaz
PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 9:39 am


I hear them telling me, reminding me, that I'm - that this was all a mistake.

Fritz had been hearing, was hearing voices and suddenly his self-loathing seemed to make a little bit more sense. Her expression fell blank like she didn't know how to react, how to respond and well, Fiona didn't.

How did she convince someone that it was all temporary, that what they were hearing in their head wasn't real if she didn't know what it was like or what the voices were saying.

"How -" her voice seemed to crack and she paused long enough to clear it. "How long - ?"

She swallowed hard, wetting her lips and pursing them together. What did she say? What should she do? The redhead was at a loss and she hated it. "You're not - Fritz, you're not a mistake no matter what they say."

Fiona didn't know him well, but she'd seen enough to be absolutely certain in her words.


kuropeco

Nuxaz


kuropeco

Dramatic Marshmallow

PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:48 pm


He couldn't look at her. It was like the world was collapsing in on itself, like his world was breaking apart at the seams and he couldn't quite get things back into place no matter how hard he tried. Everything was slipping through his fingers, disappearing, dissolving.

"A few weeks," Fritz whispered. "A month or two."

He couldn't remember how long. Fiona's words, however kindly meant, slid through his hazy mind and mingled with the laughing, mocking voice of the Code, twisting it into you are a mistake, you have always been a mistake and always will be.

He shook his head.

"I am, though," said Fritz bleakly, "I was never - I was never meant to be a knight."


nuxaz
PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2016 10:00 pm


"That's not true," Fiona said stubbornly, grasping at Fritz and searching his face, trying to meet his gaze. He wouldn't look at her and she knew that to matter how hard she tried she couldn't get him to lift his head.

"We need to - " she stopped, glancing around them with a set frown. "We should get you home." The you look awful was implied. "Whatever insecurities you've got we can - we will face it. Together." Fiona could be the best damn cheerleader when she tried.

"I'm here okay?" She promised, though she wondered if he even heard her or cared. "Don't shut me out Fritz, not when you're like this."


kuropeco

Nuxaz


kuropeco

Dramatic Marshmallow

PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2016 6:43 am


He kept his gaze averted even as she held onto him, unable to look her fully in the eye. Fritz dragged in a sharp breath, trying not to think too hard about the fact that he was suffocating, about the fact that he was embarrassing himself in front of Fiona, that he was making too many mistakes to count.

Such a worthless, useless creature you are, whispered the Code mockingly into his ear.

Fritz closed his eyes. Th words he wanted to say stuck in his throat.

"I need to get back to the loft," he mumbled in agreement, but even as he stood, he wasn't so sure how long that together would last. How long that we'll get through this would remain. There was no telling whether or not Fiona's continued stubbornness and kindness would carry on for someone who was not worth her time.

But he went quietly with her, because that was all he could do for now.


nuxaz
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